We have heard a lot about Balance since the Play In Round of the Playoffs back in the summer of 2020. Dave Tippett had a winning formula with the games top line however that was dismantled in favour of "Balance".
In fact "Balance" has become the new Oiler buzzword replacing "Visually Better", "Bold Moves", "Chop Wood Carry Water", "Patience" and "Its the Water", monickers inscribed forever into the Oilers Wall of Shame.
In fact "Balance" has become the new Oiler buzzword replacing "Visually Better", "Bold Moves", "Chop Wood Carry Water", "Patience" and "Its the Water", monickers inscribed forever into the Oilers Wall of Shame.
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Since the quest for "Balance" going back to last season, the Oilers have gone 4 and 10 which to the outside observer is not very balanced. However Dave Tippett is pushing all of chips into the middle of this frozen poker table in the name of "Balance".
Without "Balance" he believes we will not win a hockey game despite us losing 70% of them since "Balance" suddenly became a thing.
Not to mention having an ineffective penalty kill, terrible support scoring, average goaltending coupled with zero goaltending depth, brutal 3rd and 4th lines, wanting his D to move the puck better but refusing to play the teams best puck moving D, and the remaining D corps that at times looks more like the Keystone Cops than an NHL defence.
However, Dave believes that it is "Balance" that will win the day.
Perhaps Dave comes by this quest for "Balance" honestly. He looks at his available players and gets incredibly frustrated with what Holland has given him.
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In Hollands defence:
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So the players today fully bought in at practice when forced to wear bright orange pants as punishment for the way they have started the season.
Our 1st line of RNH, McDavid and PJ is "balanced" and ready.
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Our 2nd line of
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Our 3rd line of Neal, Turris and Kassian is "balanced" and ready. Sort of.
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Our 4th line is not "balanced" and is not ready, it is a collection of 8 AHL and replacement level NHL players struggling not to get scored on or take stupid penalties at inopportune times which at 5 v 5 has zero chemistry and cant get out of their own way. We can only watch in silent horror.
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Our D Corps however say they plan to be incredibly balanced.
Here is the pair of Nurse Bear trying to show they can be a top pairing in the NHL with an amazing display of "Balance". Ready.
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The 2nd pair of Jones Larsson has incredible chemistry and "balance". Ready.
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The 3rd pair is a revolving door of 4K, KRussell, Barrie and Lagesson which thus far has not been very "balanced" to say the least. Perhaps they still think it's Christmas and are drunk. In 4K's defence he has been the best of the lot but when your paired with Drunk Santa, well.....your f***ed.
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In goal we know we will be very average and very tired, and I cant add another gif because there is a 10 gif limit but I suspect we will get the above gifs performance Saturday night so onto the projected lineups.
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Projected
LinesRNH - McDavid - Puljujarvi
Neal - Turris - Kassian
Ennis - Shore - Archibald
Nurse - Bear
Jones - Larsson
4K - Barrie
Koskinen and Pray
Groesnick
Balance
Since 1967
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Projected Centre of the Universe Lines
Hymen - Nostrils - Mitchie
Mikheyev Skatealot - Pajamaboy - Hairspray
Feces - Kerfeet - Simmonds Beauty Rest
Barabanov Skatealot - Spazza - Boid
Turnstile Reilly - TJ the Ex Flame son of Satan
Muzzins beard impersonating Burns - "Shut Down" Holl
Captain Dermott - Cant Skate Bogosian
Cant Win A Series Andersen in net
In the hospital - Duct Tape Joe
Since 1967
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Fun Leaf Facts!
Fun Fact 1 - Did you know the Leafs have never won more than 2 playoff series in a row in their entire history? Its True!
Fun Fact 2 - Did you know that the Leafs are the only team in NHL history to lose to their own zamboni driver? Its True!
Fun Fact 3 - Did you know that the Leafs fans plan a parade every September thru October but come April they are planning their first round exit! Its True!
Fun Fact 4 - Did you know that any time the Leafs win a game their fans, the fan version of malarial mosquitos, infest their opponents boards with taunting they can never, ever back up? Its True!
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Fearless Prediction:
Balance is found.
We stay on the balance beam, we don't fall into the lake, we don't crash face first into a parked car, we climb the stairs, we don't fall into an open manhole, and we win this hockey game.
That is if Koskinen doesn't suffer a total meltdown. If he doesn't suffer a total meltdown, we win this hockey game!
Balance.
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GDT MUSIC
"We Hate Toronto"
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PS It is past midnight in the Maritimes so I am posting this GDT on the Game Day and I want to get in before the Duster GDT to test my theory that Balance wins over Duster and the pre-game thread is now a debate about whose better, Gagner or Turris....
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