The Toronto Maple Leafs literally, and that word is overused a smidge, but literally gave up 50 shots, at home, to a team that played last night, and that would be embarrassing enough on its own. On its own, that would be unacceptable. On its own, you never believe that that team would a) make the playoffs or b) do anything in them!
Oh, but we're just gettin' started. That's not even the worst part, are you KIDDDING ME!? THAT'S NOT EVEN CLOSE!
THE TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS LOST AN ACTUAL NATIONAL HOCKEY LEAGUE GAME TO A 42-YEAR-OLD ZAMBONI DRIVER, WHO WORKS FOR THEM!!!
Forget Game 7 in 2013, in 2018, in 2019, WOW THEY GET HUMILIATED A LOT! Well, FORGET ALLLLLLLLLLL OF THEM...THEY JUST LOST...TO A 42-YEAR-OLD ZAMBONI DRIVER WHO WORKS FOR THE TEAM!!
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you yelling for? Can't you appreciate what a great story it is? How cool it is? This guy is getting to live his childhood dream! This is the coolest thing ever! He gets called into an actual NHL game, and not just with a couple seconds left, with half of an actual NHL game left, and he's gotta defend it? He's gotta defend a lead? That is truly the stuff of scripts. You gotta put that in a movie, you could sell that to Disney tomorrow. That's incredible. How don't you feel good about that? Come on."
Because in the movies, it would be a lot more exciting. In the movies, the team shooting against the emergency goalie would actually SHOOT!! But in real life, in actual reality, <stinker noise>. It's a lot more boring than that. They just don't do anything! They're the Toronto Maple Leafs.
I wrote a book, a full book, about my Leafs fandom called "This Team is Ruining My Life". And I wrote this BEFORE they followed up a four-nothing win against Sidney Crosby and the Pittsburgh Penguins with a LOSS TO A 42-YEAR-OLD ZAMBONI DRIVER, AN EMERGENCY GOALIE WHO WORKS FOR THEM!
I feel like this video coulda ended a few minutes ago. That's it isn't it? That's it, we're done here! They lost to a 42-year-old zamboni driver who works for thehehem... <insert cry laugh here>
They're the BIGGEST joke in the National Hockey League dude. The biggest joke-NAME A BIGGER JOKE IN THE NATIONAL HOCKEY LEAGUE, you can't. "Oh, the Oilers and how they-" The Oilers are doing fine, I don't know if you noticed this, but they don't actually- they don't cry when times get tough anymore.
"The Buffalo Sabres?" Well, hey, they haven't made the playoffs in a while, the Buffalo Sabres, they-they do lose a lot of games don't they.
But you know what the Buffalo Sabres haven't done is LOSE TO A ZAM BONI DRIV ER!!
In their final game? Their final game before the trade deadline? If Kyle Dubas was a smart fan, he'd throw his phone in a volcano right now. I don't know how you don't trade every player on the roster, eh-vuh-ry player on the roster after a game like that.
"Oh, typical Toronto media, oh their fans, everyone's so tough-"
YOU LOST TO A ZAM BONI DRIVER!
I don't wanna talk about how this market or this fanbase or whatever is tough on this hockey team ever again, eVVVVErrr aGaIn. Are you joking me?
This team's gonna lose games, any team is gonna lose games. This team has weaknesses, any team has weaknesses. This team is literally built on its offense, and it just lost to a ZAMBONI DRIVER!
Who wants this team to make playoffs right now? For real, like you wanna watch the rest of this season (gonna take a quick aside for the obvious oof there before continuing). Leave a comment below, were any of you at that game? I felt like I was slowly watching 20,000 people STOP BEING Leafs fans, live in person.
"David Ayres says he's supposed to practice with the Leafs tomorrow. He's going to bring his game puck." Ahahaha. Well, I hope he brings all their birth certificates, too, because now he's their dad, ALL OF THEM.
This is...no hyperbole...the most humiliating loss, at least in the regular season, IN TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS HISTORY. "Oh is tha-" NAME A BIGGER ONE, NAME ONE! . . . Oh, you CAN'T? Oh that's weird.
"Well, there was one time they had a five-nothing lead in the third and they blew that against the Blues." First of all, the Leafs blow leads all the time, you're not impressing me with that. Second of all, the BLUES had a PROFESSIONAL GOALIE IN NET THAT NIGHT!
If you lose that game, you gotta decide how much you like hockey. You really gotta decide that. I know ya all got big contracts and everything, but like no one's making you do this. You like this? YA SURE?
Listen, I'm not so blind that I can't see how amazing the story of David Ayres is. How amazing the story of what he did in this game is, what he did, the inspirational, unbelievable, spectacular, storybook thing that he did. But behind it, on the other end of the ice, is a 'hockey team' that truly, deeeeeply, biitttterly, SSSUCCKKS!
I. . .don't know what else to say. Yep. I think that's it. Okay, alright. Good video guys. Yea.
So...in terms of...whatever else happened in the game, uhhhh, the Clifford hit and all that, ummm, we're gonna record a podcast tomorrow night-before...the trade deadline. <Insert painful laugh here> That was the last game before the trade deadline, man. We're gonna record a podcast, it'll be up on Soundcloud, Spotify, iTunes, aaand up on the Steve Dangle Podcast YouTube channel. We're gonna talk aallll about this game even more, way more in depth because I'm gonna have two co-hosts with me. Adam Wylde, Jesse Blake. And they're gonna help me...discover how to say something else other than, "They lost to a 42-YEAR-OLD ZAMBONI DRIVER WHO WORKS FOR THEIR TEAM."
Sorry, sorry, "tHEIR MINOR LEAGUE AFFILIATE."
That is it for this one, thank you very much for watching. Click like if you liked this video, click subscribe if you really liked it. Tell all your friends-
That THE LEAFS LOST TO A 42-YEAR-OLD ZAMBONI DRIVER . . . WHO WORKS FOR THEM!
