Wacky NHL Predictions-2018-19 Edition

[leaffaninvancouver]

Laine and Matthews each score 60 plus goals but still lose the Hart to McDavid.

 

[McShogun99]

- Ottawa makes the playoffs

- St Louis wins the Cup

- Buffalo wins the draft lottery

- Scheifele wins the Art Ross and Hart

- Klingberg wins the Norris

- Svechnikov wins the Calder

- Talbot wins the Vezina (snuck a homer pick in here)

- Duchene, Stone and Karlsson all resign in Ottawa

- Seguin gets traded to the NYI in January

 

[Machinehead]

-Vegas is still decent, but people are still predicting they fall apart come January. Half of HF starves waiting for Vegas to fall apart.
-Leafs win the Cup
-Vancouver makes the playoffs
-Rangers trade Hayes, Zuccarello, and Kreider. Lundqvist still won't waive. They still finish 25th playing their AHL team and don't pick top 3. They reach with the 7th overall.
-Wilson racks up double-digit main boards threads
-The Hurricanes are even worse without Peters' system, and yet they go into 2019-20 still having not addressed their goaltending.
-Barzal has a disappointing year and everyone forgets he exists. The same people act surprised when he gets 85 points in 2020.
-Flyers win the Metro and fall to the Leafs in the ECF.
-The Caps and Pens meet again. Nobody watches.
-Ottawa doesn't trade Karlsson and then he leaves, because Ottawa.
-Seattle names their team something stupid. Everyone is salty.

 

[NJ DevLolz]

-Vegas is still decent, but people are still predicting they fall apart come January. Half of HF starves waiting for Vegas to fall apart.
-Leafs win the Cup
-Vancouver makes the playoffs
-Rangers trade Hayes, Zuccarello, and Kreider. Lundqvist still won't waive. They still finish 25th playing their AHL team and don't pick top 3. They reach with the 7th overall.
-Wilson racks up double-digit main boards threads
-The Hurricanes are even worse without Peters' system, and yet they go into 2019-20 still having not addressed their goaltending.
-Barzal has a disappointing year and everyone forgets he exists. The same people act surprised when he gets 85 points in 2020.
-Flyers win the Metro and fall to the Leafs in the ECF.
-The Caps and Pens meet again. Nobody watches.
-Ottawa doesn't trade Karlsson and then he leaves, because Ottawa.
-Seattle names their team something stupid. Everyone is salty.

The Flyers were remarkably healthy last year and still barely made the playoffs. Between Giroux, Voracek, Couturier, Ghost, Provorov, Konecny, and Simmonds, they only missed 12 games.

 

[Machinehead]

The Flyers were remarkably healthy last year and still barely made the playoffs. Between Giroux, Voracek, Couturier, Ghost, Provorov, Konecny, and Simmonds, they only missed 12 games.

They're a young team with one of the top farm systems in the league. They're only going to get better.

 

[NJ DevLolz]

They're a young team with one of the top farm systems in the league. They're only going to get better.

Giroux is getting to the age where he is going to drop off bigtime in 2-3 years, Voracek is getting to the age where he starts to lose a bit of speed, Simmonds is a landmine they're going to have to avoid. Patrick is going to be a good player, but I dont think the Flyers have any star forwards coming up to replace G and Voracek.

 

[IPS]

Travis Dermott scores 80 points and wins the Norris.

 

[Machinehead]

Giroux is getting to the age where he is going to drop off bigtime in 2-3 years, Voracek is getting to the age where he starts to lose a bit of speed, Simmonds is a landmine they're going to have to avoid. Patrick is going to be a good player, but I dont think the Flyers have any star forwards coming up to replace G and Voracek.

Giroux is 30 and coming off a career year. They're at least 3-5 years away from having to replace him.

 

[MinimaMoralia]

Jake Dotchin wins the Norris.

We find out McDavid was really just a bunch of chipmunks standing on each other all along. They quickly scatter upon discovery. Edmonton’s development system is blamed.

Neil deGrasse Tyson takes up hockey, becomes Vancouver’s cornerstone goalie. Gives free lectures during intermissions.

We find out Gary Bettman was really just a decent guy who tried his hardest to better the league all along.

Mat Barzal gets a nose piercing. Rocks it.

Mike Hoffman gets a nose piercing. Gets infected. Nose falls off. Takes up wizardry. Eventually gets turned to ash or whatever that was.

 

[Raging Bull]

The Senators make the playoffs and go beyond the first round.

 

[NJ DevLolz]

Giroux is 30 and coming off a career year. They're at least 3-5 years away from having to replace him.

Outright replacing him, yes. But there is a thing called traditional scoring arcs that is working against him. Yes, I'm are he just had his best season at 30.

 

[Dominance]

We already had this thread and, just as before, it is not filled with fun predictions but rather baseless statements forecasting success for the teams and players one is a fan of, and relative failure for those one dislikes.

 

[bukwas]

Wacky you say, alrighty then.

Jankowski leads Flames in goals.
Vegas back to SCF.
A playoff team from last season wins the draft lottery.
Ottawa makes the playoffs.
Three 50 goal scorers.
Dahlin wins Norris.

 

[Hank Plank]

McDavid has 72 illnesses in 43 days, only misses 2 games.

 

[VoluntaryDom]

Jake Dotchin wins the Norris.

We find out McDavid was really just a bunch of chipmunks standing on each other all along.

Neil deGrasse Tyson takes up hockey, becomes Vancouver’s cornerstone goalie.

We find out Gary Bettman was really just a decent guy who tried his hardest to better the league all along.

Mat Barzal gets a nose piercing. Rocks it.

Mike Hoffman gets a nose piercing. Gets infected. Nose falls off. Takes up wizardry.

Interesting

 

[zharkenby]

What's yours?

1.Vegas misses the playoffs and is a bottom 5 NHl team.
2.Leafs win the president's trophy
3.Florida makes the playoffs easily and takes the 3rd spot in the Atlantic
4.The Blues finish 1st seed in the West
5. Connor Hallebuyck struggles and the Jets regress as a result(But still make the playoffs)
6. Mitch Marner finishes top 5 in NHl scoring and competes for the Art Ross.
7.Boston regresses and gets one of the 2 WC spots in the East, mostly due to Marchand and Begeron's stats drop.
8.Matt Barzal regresses and gets 64 points in his second full season.
9.Matthews scores 48 goals to win the Rocket
10.Oilers rebound and make the playoffs. Mcdavid wins his 3rd Art Ross in a row and Hart trophy
11. Calgary rebounds huge and wins their division
12. Provorov is a Norris finalist.
13. Boughner wins coach of the year.
14.Devils miss the playoffs.
15. Penguins get back to the finals and win the cup over the Blues in 6 games.

Hahahahahahahahahajahahah. This is amazing. You made this thread to attempt to reinforce every outlandish comment Leah’s fans have made this offseason. Must’ve taken a lot of effort. Great job man, a laugh we all needed!

 

[VoluntaryDom]

Sergachev wins Norris
Lightning win the cup as 2nd wild card
Senators set record for fewest wins in a season, trade Karlsson to Vegas at deadline, Vegas still misses playoffs by 1 pt
St. Louis wins the presidents trophy, loses in round 1
San Jose wins the reg season Pacific and makes the SCF
McDavid scores 52 goals for the non-playoff oilers and wins the rocket
The Hart trophy goes to Artemi Panarin who leads the blue jackets to the top record in the east and leaves to Tampa in the offseason. He finishes 3rd in pts behind McDavid and Kucherov
Stamkos misses most of the regular season, returns for the playoffs and wins the Conn Smythe
Brayden Point is top-3 in selke voting
Vladimir Tarasenko comes 2nd in the rocket race and 6th in ross
Kucherov scores 100 points exactly again and finishes 3rd in hart voting
Toronto wins the Atlantic and makes the ECF only to lose to Tampa in a sweep
Carolina makes the playoffs and even wins a round
Washington misses as Holtby Orlov Niskanen and Backstrom struggle with injuries
Gibson and Miller miss a lot of time with injuries and the ducks finish bottom-3 in the NHL and pick 5th overall
A team that barely misses the playoffs wins the #1 pick

Don’t expect these to happen but they are wacky and fun

 

[CodeE]

Trash Barzal on the main forums = perfectly okay.

Try and defend Barzal on the main forums from the aforementioned trashing = delete your post we can't have any of this

 

[Afterburner]

3. Washington gets bounced in the first round, because Ovechkin is still hungover.

 

[Afterburner]

3. Washington gets bounced in the first round, because Ovechkin is still hungover.

 

[Rabid Ranger]

The Senators make the playoffs and go beyond the first round.

....put it down.

 

[orby]

The Senators will somehow fail to trade Karlsson and will lose him for nothing in free agency.

 

[Raging Bull]

....put it down.

My crack pipe?

 

[Sidney the Kidney]

-McDavid reveals that, in fact, Zack Roloff is his twin brother.
-Matthews' Nostrils/60 metric proves he's the greatest of all time.
-Arizona wins the Cup because their 15 year old stats wiz of a GM finally broke the code to success.
-Lou Lamoriello undoes Snow's mistake, trading Barzal and Beauvillier to Edmonton for Griffin Reinhart.
-Malkin and Ovechkin's kids fight in day care.

 

[Fire Benning]

Werenski wins the Norris.