BigFuzzyDice
the giant Kane in your azz
- Jul 8, 2016
- 1,742
- 2,056
I was bored, wrote my yearly "twas the night before Christmas " presented for your amusement:
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the land
No one did shit, the season was banned
The snitch line speed dial was programmed in Karen’s phone
In case her covidiot f***ing neighbors didn’t spend it alone
It has been suggested, I don’t even kid
That Jolly old Santa might spread the COVID
He’s touched all the presents and been in your home
Is he part of your cohort if you live alone?
If your currently locked down here’s a slap on the face.
That white haired old man’s been all over the place.
To top it all off he drinks from everyone’s glass.
So lockdown supporters chant n harass
Stop the superspreader event and just shoot his Jolly old ass
The crotch gremlins where finally laying in bed.
And it only took dad twice loosing his head.
I tried really hard to just keep my cool,
but they’ve been driving me nuts with the weeks off from school
Mama had on latex and I had a mask.
Just normal precautions if anyone asks…
We had on a movie, popcorn in our own separate bowls.
Thought we might try out
the new glory hole.
When out from the street we heard the crunching of steel
we ran to the window to check out the deal
The spotlight from air 1 shone off the snow
And gave perfect stage lighting to the shitshow below
The road was blocked by several cop vans
I watched Santa’s sleigh get pit maneuvered by an unmarked sedan
We pulled put our cell phones and went out on the deck
Then they tackled the driver and knelt on his neck
Our video cameras they didn’t avoid, turns out the name on Santa’s license was Nicholas Floyd.
The force was justified , they had to be mean, he’d entered the country without quarantine.
And as non essential
he didn’t get the vaccine.
They put the toys in a trailer, the sleigh on a flat bed. And then with no warning Rudolph took 2 to the head.
They chopped down the rest like Hannibal lector. The news just said reindeer are a new viral vector..
The decision to blast them I fully support, it falls in line with the latest reports .
I have to reveal , to my utter dismay.
They cuffed dear old Santa n hauled him away.
With the list of the charges and the cost of the fines
It’s a pretty good bet Santas gonna do time.
Santa will be back but not for some years.
There’s a long term plan to keep you in fear.
We heard from dear leader Mr. Justin Trudeau.
Between the Um and the er he wants you to know.
The important message so very heart felt
He’s from the government, and they’re here to help.
Well except for the cerb , cause they’re on the attack.
They gave it to y'all now give it back.
Don’t worry folks, this Christmas can still rock. As long as The beer store stays open and Amazon has stock
As a finally goodbye here’s something fun. Have you heard the reports, Covid21
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the land
No one did shit, the season was banned
The snitch line speed dial was programmed in Karen’s phone
In case her covidiot f***ing neighbors didn’t spend it alone
It has been suggested, I don’t even kid
That Jolly old Santa might spread the COVID
He’s touched all the presents and been in your home
Is he part of your cohort if you live alone?
If your currently locked down here’s a slap on the face.
That white haired old man’s been all over the place.
To top it all off he drinks from everyone’s glass.
So lockdown supporters chant n harass
Stop the superspreader event and just shoot his Jolly old ass
The crotch gremlins where finally laying in bed.
And it only took dad twice loosing his head.
I tried really hard to just keep my cool,
but they’ve been driving me nuts with the weeks off from school
Mama had on latex and I had a mask.
Just normal precautions if anyone asks…
We had on a movie, popcorn in our own separate bowls.
Thought we might try out
the new glory hole.
When out from the street we heard the crunching of steel
we ran to the window to check out the deal
The spotlight from air 1 shone off the snow
And gave perfect stage lighting to the shitshow below
The road was blocked by several cop vans
I watched Santa’s sleigh get pit maneuvered by an unmarked sedan
We pulled put our cell phones and went out on the deck
Then they tackled the driver and knelt on his neck
Our video cameras they didn’t avoid, turns out the name on Santa’s license was Nicholas Floyd.
The force was justified , they had to be mean, he’d entered the country without quarantine.
And as non essential
he didn’t get the vaccine.
They put the toys in a trailer, the sleigh on a flat bed. And then with no warning Rudolph took 2 to the head.
They chopped down the rest like Hannibal lector. The news just said reindeer are a new viral vector..
The decision to blast them I fully support, it falls in line with the latest reports .
I have to reveal , to my utter dismay.
They cuffed dear old Santa n hauled him away.
With the list of the charges and the cost of the fines
It’s a pretty good bet Santas gonna do time.
Santa will be back but not for some years.
There’s a long term plan to keep you in fear.
We heard from dear leader Mr. Justin Trudeau.
Between the Um and the er he wants you to know.
The important message so very heart felt
He’s from the government, and they’re here to help.
Well except for the cerb , cause they’re on the attack.
They gave it to y'all now give it back.
Don’t worry folks, this Christmas can still rock. As long as The beer store stays open and Amazon has stock
As a finally goodbye here’s something fun. Have you heard the reports, Covid21
