Confirmed with Link: UPDATED 7/6 - Bourque admits to 'sufficient facts' in drunken driving case

[Lady Rhian]

"Everyone has done it."

No, we haven't. I can't drive a car due to my disability, and don't drink at all due to a combination of health issues and simply not enjoying feeling what little control I have over my own body becoming impaired.

Parents? Never drank. At all.

Brothers? Used to get smashed as teens, but were smart enough to do it at a camp site. No drinking on the way there, no driving back until it was slept off. And they only did that a handful of times. Why? Because getting stupid drunk wasn't actually fun. Neither drink at all now.

I don't know. I've never understood the necessity of having a wine or beer with dinner, or to relax, or to have fun. My family has simply never been that way, I've never been raised around that, so the normalization of such activity is just alien to me.

Ultimately, no one here is saying that Ray should be tarred and feathered for his actions. What people are saying is that he made a series of bad, disappointing choices, choices that he should know better than to make. And that as a visible member/role model in the community, he should be cognizant that his actions have consequences that extend farther than just himself.

I grew up in basically a non drinking household as well, but we did have family members outside of our nuclear family that were alcoholics. My parents had one drink on New Years to toast the new year in, and once in a very blue moon, when my uncles got together, my Dad would have one drink. Just one, though, and he wasn't driving anywhere. They all stayed over, so no one drove home, and thankfully, the uncles were never drunk to worry about it. that happened a couple of times a year.

I'm not a big drinker myself. Like my parents, it was a sweet drink for New Year's Eve, or a toast at a wedding. Often times, yours truly was the DD (designated driver) when we went night clubbing. While some of my friends had fun drinking, I was having fun on the dance floor. I didn't mind being the DD, as I knew I would get them home safe and sound. Often times, they stayed the night, or we stayed the night at their homes, so I wasn't driving all over. Still, I hardly ever drank, and still don't. It's just not my thing, but I don't judge others that enjoy it. All I ask, is that they be sensible and responsible about it. That's all- make a plan, and have a back up plan, to make sure no one is driving intoxicated.

There is no excuse today for folks not getting rides home, thanks to UBER. Taxi's have always been available, if no bus or train is running. Not to mention, when I was younger, we didn't have ATM cards, you went to the bank on Friday's and Saturday's before you went out, and took out enough money for the weekend, as there was no ATM's and banks were closed on Sundays. We still found ways to be responsible about it. Imagine that?

 

[BigGoalBrad]

So you want to argue levels of stupidity and what is 'better than the other'. So to speak.

They both take innocent lives. Thats the issue. IF Bourque is guilty he should pay a price. Just thankful there was no personal injuries.


And McSlewfoot,
Your sense of entitlement is pretty screwed up. Going out and getting wasted isnt a right. Crying about 'fairness' is not only totally incorrect its juvenile beyond beliief.

You know whats fair? The ability to leave your home and return safe and sound.

I have zero pity for anyone that makes the decision to drive drunk or text and cause injury. None.
You are a threat to me and my family.

So Bourque by all means deserves his day in court.
thats his right

Other than that anybody that defends it as a right or feels its ok to drive drunk or text causing an accident I hope you and your family are blessed until the end of time.

Hey this is an argument I have no interest in winning I just think Boston is one of the world's elite cities (with easily the highest concentration of educated and talented young people on the planet) and we can do a much better job of letting people have a night out and get home via public transportation.


As I said everywhere I have lived (moms, with roomies, my current house) has phenomenal access into town (5 minute walk to train or bus even living outside 128) but no way to get home at night. We can just simply do better and people collectively valuing and pushing for this are what it will take.


Im a 30 year old man with no interest in defending drunk driving I just want to put forth and advocate for preventative and not reactionary measures. And our public transportation is damn good it really sucks we can't extend it a couple hours and entice people to leave the damned car at home.

 

[BruinsFanMike82]

This entire thread, everything about it, makes me upset.

 

[Lady Rhian]

Hey this is an argument I have no interest in winning I just think Boston is one of the world's elite cities (with easily the highest concentration of educated and talented young people on the planet) and we can do a much better job of letting people have a night out and get home via public transportation.


As I said everywhere I have lived (moms, with roomies, my current house) has phenomenal access into town (5 minute walk to train or bus even living outside 128) but no way to get home at night. We can just simply do better and people collectively valuing and pushing for this are what it will take.


Im a 30 year old man with no interest in defending drunk driving I just want to put forth and advocate for preventative and not reactionary measures. And our public transportation is damn good it really sucks we can't extend it a couple hours and entice people to leave the damned car at home.

What's wrong with calling an UBER driver or a taxi? Have the phone numbers available in your wallet, or better yet, call them ahead of time and have them come to the bar when it closes so you don't have to wait. Easy, right?

 

[BigGoalBrad]

What's wrong with calling an UBER driver or a taxi? Have the phone numbers available in your wallet, or better yet, call them ahead of time and have them come to the bar when it closes so you don't have to wait. Easy, right?

Lots of people are on tight budgets that they stretch to enjoy nights out and already are being financially irresponsible by paying 6+ dollars a drink that would cost 1 dollar at home (but where is the fun in drinking alone in your house.) Just easier said than done when someone has already spent too much automatically by paying 6 bucks a beer.



I feel horrible and like a troll in this thread as I type this I feel disgusted because I feel like I am defending or excusing a truly terrible action and behavior. Im just trying to advocate for (obvious) preventative measures. We have great public transportation that is useless as **** on a bull when it comes to getting home after a night out.


I mean take a step back and look at the fact that the guy who runs our fans for 11 bucks a beer just stole the parking garage from the MBTA and doubled the price. If anyone should push for later trains its that creep but he obviously won't and wouldn't dream of doing so.


Again I feel like a creep I don't want to defend or excuse anything I just am trying to advocate for our excellent resources and infrastructure being used to solve/improve a very serious social problem.

 

[CDJ]

Getting wasted and finding a sober ride to Taco Bell became a pastime for my roommates and I.

It's not that hard.

It definitely isn't that hard if you're a legend. I was able to do it as a drunk 19 year old ******** when I had no money. I can definitely do it now that I'm out of college and am not (completely )broke. Super easy. Press a button and boom all done. Nobody gets hurt.

 

[BigGoalBrad]

Getting wasted and finding a sober ride to Taco Bell became a pastime for my roommates and I.

It's not that hard.

It definitely isn't that hard if you're a legend. I was able to do it as a drunk 19 year old ******** when I had no money. I can definitely do it now that I'm out of college and am not (completely )broke. Super easy. Press a button and boom all done. Nobody gets hurt.

Wanna ride to Taco Bell right now? Im about to hit up the Salem one for a CGC and a baha blast.

 

[CDJ]

Wanna ride to Taco Bell right now? Im about to hit up the Salem one for a CGC and a baha blast.

Respect

 

[Lady Rhian]

Wanna ride to Taco Bell right now? Im about to hit up the Salem one for a CGC and a baha blast.

better yet, save that gas money and money you'd spend at Taco Bell by eating at home, and put it in a coffee can so you can save up for a ride with an UBER driver the next time you're out and about. You just said you were on a tight budget, right?

 

[missingchicklet]

Really disappointing that Ray did this. Like others on here, I've known quite a few people killed or badly injured by drunk drivers. Far too many. A guy near where I live was the leader of an organization that did programs to help teens and adults understand the evils of drinking and driving. He ended up driving drunk and killing a father and his son,the night after one of his presentations no less. Guy had good connections and did some prison time and got out after a couple years. He has had two drunk driving convictions since getting out of prison. Crashed his vehicle in both instances but fortunately didn't kill anyone. People like him absolutely disgust me. It's irresponsible, selfish, and obviously dangerous. The potential bad outcomes of drunk driving are not difficult to comprehend and it is something that is entirely preventable. There is zero excuse for driving drunk.

 

[BruinsFTW]

better yet, save that gas money and money you'd spend at Taco Bell by eating at home, and put it in a coffee can so you can save up for a ride with an UBER driver the next time you're out and about. You just said you were on a tight budget, right?

Hard to get that spare change in a can at home on a debit/credit card to pay for Uber/LYFT etc from your smart phone ..Only downfall of that service, have to pay by card saved on your cell phone. No cash, so thats where REAL cabs come in, see they still are useful!

 

[Lady Rhian]

Hard to get that spare change in a can at home on a debit/credit card to pay for Uber/LYFT etc from your smart phone ..Only downfall of that service, have to pay by card saved on your cell phone. No cash, so thats where REAL cabs come in, see they still are useful!

Well, you see, you take that can of money you saved from not eating out along with the gas money you would have used, and march it right to the bank and put it in your account so it's there for your night out so you can call UBER. Taxi's are good, too, but so expensive, as always.

 

[BruinsFTW]

Well, you see, you take that can of money you saved from not eating out along with the gas money you would have used, and march it right to the bank and put it in your account so it's there for your night out so you can call UBER. Taxi's are good, too, but so expensive, as always.

Taxis are expensive in the city, exactly why UBER, RYDE, LYFT etc are phasing them out....I can only imagine the cost of them in the burbs...but to guys like Ray thats pocket change.

 

[nutty37]

Guess all those years of Jacobs/Sinden lowballing him have caught up, can't afford an uber

 

[Fossy21]

They know that handless cellphone use is as dangerous as DUI.

Surely you must recognise that .08 isn't the same as every DUI? Most U.S. states have set the limit there (for people over a certain age) for a reason, according to a lot of research it's where your driving starts getting impaired to a degree that can be measured. It may be impaired (even seriously) at figures lower than that (Sweden has a no-tolerance attitude in the matter, despite more rehabilitative justice system with substantially lower recidivism and crime rates), and it's different for different people (just as alcohol's other effects are).

...

I've no words for this post. Would sure be interesting to hear your opinions on certain other issues...

 

[Gee Wally]

Sorry,but I don't believe you have never driven within 2 hours of 1 drink and I don't believe you've never talked on a phone while driving. But I am done.

Agreed.

And for the record .....again.....I have never drank alcohol and drove after. 1 hour. 2 hours. 6 hours.
I also have never texted and drove.

I have talked on the phone via blutooth and dating back to 1993 with my bag phone it was a speaker phone.

I completely resent your constant accusations here with me and the other posters.

Done.

 

[Donnie Shulzhoffer]

We all make mistakes. Ray made a mistake. But I refuse to change my opinion of him and start viewing him as one the high percentage of NFL players that get into trouble every week of the season.

 

[Fenway]

Living in Cambridge I know exactly what you mean.

Now with the T closed again come 1-2 AM it is next to impossible to find a cab and Uber is usually charging 3 times their normal rate. It is absurd there is no late night transportation in this city. In the suburbs it was next to impossible to call for a cab at night - Uber and Lyft have made things better.

A few years ago I got a late night call from a friend that he was in jail at Hampton Beach for drunk driving which was interesting as the person has been in AA for over 20 years. It was dismissed and the officer was fired for that and other dubious arrests. As another poster pointed out there are some police officers that fabricate incidents to pad their resume.

The TV show West Wing had a very memorable episode on this very topic.

https://youtu.be/HvDkNe4xI9o?t=1141

Tomorrow we will get the facts of the case.

Lots of people are on tight budgets that they stretch to enjoy nights out and already are being financially irresponsible by paying 6+ dollars a drink that would cost 1 dollar at home (but where is the fun in drinking alone in your house.) Just easier said than done when someone has already spent too much automatically by paying 6 bucks a beer.



I feel horrible and like a troll in this thread as I type this I feel disgusted because I feel like I am defending or excusing a truly terrible action and behavior. Im just trying to advocate for (obvious) preventative measures. We have great public transportation that is useless as **** on a bull when it comes to getting home after a night out.


I mean take a step back and look at the fact that the guy who runs our fans for 11 bucks a beer just stole the parking garage from the MBTA and doubled the price. If anyone should push for later trains its that creep but he obviously won't and wouldn't dream of doing so.


Again I feel like a creep I don't want to defend or excuse anything I just am trying to advocate for our excellent resources and infrastructure being used to solve/improve a very serious social problem.

 

[Lockheed]

This "everyone has done it or has text while driving" thing is craziest thing I have read here recently.

 

[ranold26]

If you wonder why driving under the influence still occurs today, just look to this thread to understand how and why.

 

[CDJ]

Basically, yeah

 

[Strange Universe]

Agreed.

And for the record .....again.....I have never drank alcohol and drove after. 1 hour. 2 hours. 6 hours.
I also have never texted and drove.

I have talked on the phone via blutooth and dating back to 1993 with my bag phone it was a speaker phone.

I completely resent your constant accusations here with me and the other posters.

Done.

I have abstained from the site for awhile but this has compelled me to add a little here.
I am with you Wally.....I totally believe you and like you I have never and will never do one or the other knowing I would be behind the wheel and somebodies life or lives can be on the line because of my irresponsible behavior.

I have seen on my street first hand in 1998 and what I witnessed was the worse thing you can imagine knowing that the person behind the steering wheel took the life of another man who was hit violently by the DUI man.
The 33 years old man died instantly and knowing how it happened was very disturbing indeed.
This burned image in my mind is enough to keep me in check each and every day be it drinking or texting while behind the wheel.
There is no way I would do either and never will knowing someone's life or lives can be at risk because of my lack of responsibility.

Amen to you Wally and all those who have the same mature behavior whenever driving.

 

[Fenway]

This "everyone has done it or has text while driving" thing is craziest thing I have read here recently.

If you wonder why driving under the influence still occurs today, just look to this thread to understand how and why.

The truth is many who say they have never done it have without realizing it. You have a couple of drinks after work with friends and you feel fine and drive home completely unaware that they are legally drunk. .08 doesn't take much to reach - when I was younger it was .10. Alcohol also affects people differently as I know people who can drink all night and never show signs of being drunk and others are loopy after one beer. It is NOT an exact science.

When I was younger if you were stopped by the Cambridge Police they would make you park the car, give them the keys and they would drive you home and tell you to pick up keys in the morning. It all changed in the 80's when there was an awful crash on the Jamaicaway and 9 people were killed.

Remember this ad during the Super Bowl last year?

 

[Lady Rhian]

The truth is many who say they have never done it have without realizing it. You have a couple of drinks after work with friends and you feel fine and drive home completely unaware that they are legally drunk. .08 doesn't take much to reach - when I was younger it was .10. Alcohol also affects people differently as I know people who can drink all night and never show signs of being drunk and others are loopy after one beer. It is NOT an exact science.

When I was younger if you were stopped by the Cambridge Police they would make you park the car, give them the keys and they would drive you home and tell you to pick up keys in the morning. It all changed in the 80's when there was an awful crash on the Jamaicaway and 9 people were killed.

Remember this ad during the Super Bowl last year?

What is wrong with you and BNHL?

When I tell you that I have NEVER driven home after drinking, I mean it. Your posts are starting to get insulting- are you, too, calling all of us liars?

 

[Fossy21]

When I was younger if you were stopped by the Cambridge Police they would make you park the car, give them the keys and they would drive you home and tell you to pick up keys in the morning. It all changed in the 80's when there was an awful crash on the Jamaicaway and 9 people were killed.

Remember this ad during the Super Bowl last year?

This goes hand in hand with the typical downsides of the alcohol culture in western society (and most other societies). People feel like they have it all sussed out, in reality they know very little about alcohol, its effects on society and individuals and on them personally (including their own limitations). This along with a seemingly arbitrary limit which says very little to the average person means many people just wing it, with little or no preparation or research. The most important step (far more important than shaming, punishing or even trying to help any one individual who has (apparently) done wrong) is education on a great scale.

The healthiest mindset we can share is to not take the risk, however much or little one has drunk. If this means taking a cab, planning everyone in one's company's safe voyage from point A to point B and back again via designated driver's, or simply laying off substances in general every once in a while, that's individual and has to be respected separately. Drinking responsibly means thinking and being considerate before, during and after drinking.