OT: The Thread About Nothing

[Billdo]

He’s dealing with it like he was but this has definitely been a long time coming. For about 3 years now they’ve had bickering issues stemming all from her meeting 2 new friends that she decided she wanted to be able to go out to bars and clubs with every weekend. Now while I understand not everyone is like him or I but I find that to be disgusting and unacceptable for someone with 2 kids at home, 1 being a 3 year old. That was only the tip... everything began to change for them despite her being very happy before meeting these new, single friends.



Marriage and kids definitely would complicate matters.

He’s doing ok. It’s so strange... he went through the different “stages of grief” within like 2 days and then got himself on every dating app known to man. I’ve warned him to take his time, as I think he’s ignoring the proper healing process but now I’ve just backed off and let him do his thing.



I think somewhere along the line I missed what you did Bleed. Some people get over things faster but some people also hide their feelings better.

Craziness

 

[OmNomNom]

Yikes. Just minutes before our blowout, I was rubbing her head. What really sucks is that I won't soon forget how happy and relaxed she looked while I was doing it. Only to really hurt her just minutes later. I'm sure she was really hurt too, she probably just got over it faster.

objectively true, but for real friend, you can't keep blaming yourself. it's equally on her for being really shitty to you, esp w that recent phone call, where she led you on, sorta

at least you wanted to resolve things. her actions seem like she just wants to keep her options open - didn't you say she didn't want to talk about things just yet? it seems more like she was just putting the issue off

 

[Bleedred]

He’s doing ok. It’s so strange... he went through the different “stages of grief” within like 2 days and then got himself on every dating app known to man. I’ve warned him to take his time, as I think he’s ignoring the proper healing process but now I’ve just backed off and let him do his thing.



I think somewhere along the line I missed what you did Bleed. Some people get over things faster but some people also hide their feelings better.

I've been on the dating apps too, but I find I can't get into anyone. The connection I had with this last one, it's a connection you only have with someone every so many years with me. Maybe even at least a half a decade? That's what really sucks.

Basically, she was really weird the last day I saw her. She was kind of paying attention to her phone a little too much and not talking to me. I was stressed out over some issues at work that week and I snapped a little too much. Just a couple minutes after rubbing her head. Her face as I was rubbing her head (you know that peaceful look, with a slight smile? And just happy about everything look?) will be burned into my head for a long time.

 

[Bleedred]

objectively true, but for real friend, you can't keep blaming yourself. it's equally on her for being really ****ty to you, esp w that recent phone call, where she led you on, sorta

at least you wanted to resolve things. her actions seem like she just wants to keep her options open - didn't you say she didn't want to talk about things just yet? it seems more like she was just putting the issue off

She was good to me, until that last day. Leading me on like that was something she never did while we were together and things were good. She didn't wanna talk about things, until August 3rd when she got back from vacation for a few days with her son and her mom. And that's when I talked to her and she kept me on the phone for 15 minutes (I mean, I kept her on the phone for 15 minutes, but she could have ended it before that, especially if she never planned to talk to me again afterwards), only to just tell me there's no chance of anything, ever again and that she thought about it and decided against it. Funny enough, she even snuck in a comment right before we got off the phone where she said something like ''You're just ruining your chances'' like seriously? You just told me they were done anyway?!

 

[Bleedred]

Well, I did see her last night. At her work. Just going in as a customer. I avoided it ever since the fight. But why should I avoid it now if I wanna buy something to drink or get gas there? I was going there YEARS before she worked there, I can't stay in my house all day because I'm afraid to go somewhere where she might be. So I went in there and I acted like I normally with her when we first met. I acted like she was a stranger and asked if I could still get any size fountain drink slushy for a dollar. She gave me a ''Oh god'' look when I walked in and just answered me. So I filled my drink up, then got in line and I ended up with her. So I said to myself out loud ''Oh god, it's my luck that I get her!'' and then I told her ''You know I'm just kidding, right?''. And I told her to keep the change from my gas and drink and to do something with her hair (joking that it needed to be cut and that it didn't look good). She gave me the same look she would give me when I first started going in there, I think she knew I was joking. So I told her just to make sure ''You know I'm just kidding, or am I? Take a guess!''. And I walked away.

Now I know this sounds like a dick of me, but you have to understand, this is how I interacted with her before we started seeing each other. I playfully flirted with her, sometime hurling mild insults her way. The first real flirting between us was when I asked her ''Where's the cute one?'' when she rang me up. I was talking about her, but I didn't admit it then. She told me ''I'm right here''. And I laughed and told her she wasn't cute at all and that there way prettier girls that worked there (wasn't the truth from me, which she knew by my tone), then I told her she was just alright and left. One of the last encounters we had before we started seeing each other was when she announced in front of all of her co-workers when I came in one night. ''This guy thinks I'm just kind of cute and not really cute''. And I embarrassed her that night by saying to the other ones right in front of her ''Can you hire some better people here? This one really sucks. I can't stand her, she's not good looking enough, she thinks she's really hot, but she's not''. And during that encounter she said ''I think I saw you walking past my house the other night'' which was true, but I didn't know she lived there at the time. It's part of my route when I take walks sometimes. And I told her ''Yeah, I walk a lot, I'm in really good shape!'' and she laughed as if I wasn't (she was doing to me what I do to her). After that I spouted off a few random facts about myself and she said ''Why are you telling me all this stuff about yourself?'' and I told her because I could tell she wanted to hear about me. I acted like a cocky jerk in front of her, but she knew I was playing and just flirting with her.

She wound up telling me after we started seeing each other outside of her work that the other girls were like ''Wow! He's a jerk! He really hates you!'', but she told me that's when she knew that I really liked her and was heavily flirting with her. The next time I was in there, I figured I'd be a little nicer, so I walked into her line and said ''My dad just got a whole lot better!''. And then I went in one more time and that's when she told me ''I live on the corner of that street and if you see my car there, come to the door''. I hung out with her for like an hour while she worked, then I left and said ''Your hair looks really hot tonight.... Hot garbage''. And she called me a loser haha. This is how we got along. The first time we hung out, we stopped in the Dollar Store and I really gave her a hard time in line. Just playfully again. And the guy in front of us said ''Dude, I'm telling you, you're about to get hit! I've been married long enough to know!''. Haha he was warning me that she was about to hit me haha.

Dammit, I hate reliving that. I miss her. f***in sucks.

 

[OmNomNom]

Well, I did see her last night. At her work. Just going in as a customer. I avoided it ever since the fight. But why should I avoid it now if I wanna buy something to drink or get gas there? I was going there YEARS before she worked there, I can't stay in my house all day because I'm afraid to go somewhere where she might be. So I went in there and I acted like I normally with her when we first met. I acted like she was a stranger and asked if I could still get any size fountain drink slushy for a dollar. She gave me a ''Oh god'' look when I walked in and just answered me. So I filled my drink up, then got in line and I ended up with her. So I said to myself out loud ''Oh god, it's my luck that I get her!'' and then I told her ''You know I'm just kidding, right?''. And I told her to keep the change from my gas and drink and to do something with her hair (joking that it needed to be cut and that it didn't look good). She gave me the same look she would give me when I first started going in there, I think she knew I was joking. So I told her just to make sure ''You know I'm just kidding, or am I? Take a guess!''. And I walked away.

Now I know this sounds like a dick of me, but you have to understand, this is how I interacted with her before we started seeing each other. I playfully flirted with her, sometime hurling mild insults her way. The first real flirting between us was when I asked her ''Where's the cute one?'' when she rang me up. I was talking about her, but I didn't admit it then. She told me ''I'm right here''. And I laughed and told her she wasn't cute at all and that there way prettier girls that worked there (wasn't the truth from me, which she knew by my tone), then I told her she was just alright and left. One of the last encounters we had before we started seeing each other was when she announced in front of all of her co-workers when I came in one night. ''This guy thinks I'm just kind of cute and not really cute''. And I embarrassed her that night by saying to the other ones right in front of her ''Can you hire some better people here? This one really sucks. I can't stand her, she's not good looking enough, she thinks she's really hot, but she's not''. And during that encounter she said ''I think I saw you walking past my house the other night'' which was true, but I didn't know she lived there at the time. It's part of my route when I take walks sometimes. And I told her ''Yeah, I walk a lot, I'm in really good shape!'' and she laughed as if I wasn't (she was doing to me what I do to her). After that I spouted off a few random facts about myself and she said ''Why are you telling me all this stuff about yourself?'' and I told her because I could tell she wanted to hear about me. I acted like a cocky jerk in front of her, but she knew I was playing and just flirting with her.

She wound up telling me after we started seeing each other outside of her work that the other girls were like ''Wow! He's a jerk! He really hates you!'', but she told me that's when she knew that I really liked her and was heavily flirting with her. The next time I was in there, I figured I'd be a little nicer, so I walked into her line and said ''My dad just got a whole lot better!''. And then I went in one more time and that's when she told me ''I live on the corner of that street and if you see my car there, come to the door''. I hung out with her for like an hour while she worked, then I left and said ''Your hair looks really hot tonight.... Hot garbage''. And she called me a loser haha. This is how we got along. The first time we hung out, we stopped in the Dollar Store and I really gave her a hard time in line. Just playfully again. And the guy in front of us said ''Dude, I'm telling you, you're about to get hit! I've been married long enough to know!''. Haha he was warning me that she was about to hit me haha.

Dammit, I hate reliving that. I miss her. ****in sucks.

don't make the same mistake i did

cut all contacts, including her friends and family.

throw out any sentimental letters and gifts, as in zero fanfare - don't make a production of it. the longer you put it off, the worse it'll linger and f*** you up for the next time around. rip that bandaid off man, and don't give her too much credit/blame yourself too much, or you run the risk of staying in the same mentality that it was solely your fault, and that she's basically a goddess that you wronged. you're human, and you'll learn from these mistakes and find someone who's a better fit for you

 

[njdevils1982]

don't make the same mistake i did

cut all contacts, including her friends and family.

throw out any sentimental letters and gifts, as in zero fanfare - don't make a production of it. the longer you put it off, the worse it'll linger and **** you up for the next time around. rip that bandaid off man, and don't give her too much credit/blame yourself too much, or you run the risk of staying in the same mentality that it was solely your fault, and that she's basically a goddess that you wronged. you're human, and you'll learn from these mistakes and find someone who's a better fit for you

you forgot "find a new store to buy slushies at"

 

[Bleedred]

don't make the same mistake i did

cut all contacts, including her friends and family.

throw out any sentimental letters and gifts, as in zero fanfare - don't make a production of it. the longer you put it off, the worse it'll linger and **** you up for the next time around. rip that bandaid off man, and don't give her too much credit/blame yourself too much, or you run the risk of staying in the same mentality that it was solely your fault, and that she's basically a goddess that you wronged. you're human, and you'll learn from these mistakes and find someone who's a better fit for you

I don’t have any mutual friends of hers or those I talk to in her family. The only mutual acquaintance we have is my friend’s younger brother, who is a co-worker of hers. The first time I ever talked to her or saw in the store was when I got rang up by her and made a fake complaint about him on a night when he wasn’t working and how he burned my food in the deli, which was all made up and I told her a minute later that I was kidding and that I know him. She told me “Yeah,
I could sense the sarcasm”. I’ve known him since he was a little kid, over a decade now. So I’m not gonna cut ties with him, even though we don’t talk much anymore anyway. I only talk to his brother. And he isn’t friends with her outside of work anyway.

I don’t have any gifts from her. I deleted all her pictures from my phone the day we had the fight. The only thing I have is the program from a play I attended that she was in back in June. I told her I wanted to come see her play, so I went. The program is in my drawer somewhere. Haven’t looked at it since that night, back on June 21st is whatever it was when she was in that play. She told me after I went, all the other ladies in the play asked her “WOW! Who’s that young guy you were talking to after it ended?” Because they were shocked to see a “Younger” guy there alone and not with his mom or grandma. Funny enough, I’m not a young guy, but I’ll take the compliment. It was the night after Hall won the Hart and I was wearing my Hall T-short that night. I remember that for some reason. It was also her son’s fifth birthday and I took the day off and we went in my pool and went out for ice cream that afternoon. Now I’m really missing her after reliving the some more.

Anyway, I’m not gonna avoid her work. I’m gonna go in there if I need to, and not worry about if her car is there or not. I won’t go in every day, but if I run into her a couple times a week, I don’t care. I’m not gonna let her make me feel small or like I have to hide from her. That was the kind of shit I did when I was younger. I wouldn’t wanna leave the house for fear of seeing some ex or someone that had hurt me. I’m the opposite now. I stayed away during the three week period where I was hoping things could be fixed. They can’t be fixed, so now I go back to my normal routine and sometimes that involves frequenting the store she works at. Now, if I went in there every day or four times a week, that’s not good either. She’ll think I’m trying to see her. But if she never sees me again, she’ll think I’m trying to avoid her and that she got the best of me. So, I’ll go in a couple times a week whether she’s there or not. And whether she waits on me or not.

 

[New Jersey]

wow so should i be ok with being 24 and hopelessly single? ok.

 

[OmNomNom]

wow so should i be ok with being 24 and hopelessly single? ok.

relationships man -- very high highs, but very low lows

i will say, the advantage for a man, from a family standpoint, is that we don't have a biological clock.

not to mention, as you get older, your list of prospective spouses increases, while people your age get more and more desperate for a very serious relationship (could be a pro or a con)

 

[New Jersey]

relationships man -- very high highs, but very low lows

i will say, the advantage for a man, from a family standpoint, is that we don't have a biological clock.

not to mention, as you get older, your list of prospective spouses increases, while people your age get more and more desperate for a very serious relationship (could be a pro or a con)

yeah i would describe my attitude at this particular moment in my life as very open to a serious relationship, but it'll be totally on accident.

i think my biggest flaw is my propensity to be a homebody. i love going out and making plans, but when i'm not at something like the 50+ sporting events i attend a year or arrange an evening out on the town with my bros from college, i like to sit at home and be a lazy ass.

i'm so gonna be that "my home is my castle" type of dad some day

 

[JimEIV]

I need to give pimp hand lessons...You boys are soft.

 

[JimEIV]

In life you either be Jay or Silent Bob.

 

[Henry Killinger]

I just happened to click the bookmark for this site, and lo and behold, I can finally access it again! After only about a freakin' year!
Had to turn off the rich text editor to even be able to post this. Still can't see anyone's avatars.... any ideas?
Great to see some familiar names still posting. See quite a few new names too. Glad to be back!

 

[MartyOwns]

Yikes. Just minutes before our blowout, I was rubbing her head. What really sucks is that I won't soon forget how happy and relaxed she looked while I was doing it. Only to really hurt her just minutes later. I'm sure she was really hurt too, she probably just got over it faster.

no offense but this sounds like it came from a serial killer, man. block the number, block her on all social media, and on to the next one

 

[Bleedred]

no offense but this sounds like it came from a serial killer, man. block the number, block her on all social media, and on to the next one

I don't think I really need to block contact, because I would almost bet she never contacts me again. Like I said though, it would be so her to contact me down the line and say how sorry she is, but that's all she wanted to say and for me to never talk to her again.

I don't use social media outside of this site, if that even counts.

 

[MartyOwns]

I don't think I really need to block contact, because I would almost bet she never contacts me again. Like I said though, it would be so her to contact me down the line and say how sorry she is, but that's all she wanted to say and for me to never talk to her again.

I don't use social media outside of this site, if that even counts.

why leave her the option to potentially say that to you down the line? she could’ve said she’s sorry now, if she’d rather do it later for her own selfish reasons (and at your emotional expense) then f*** it. block her, trust me

 

[Bleedred]

why leave her the option to potentially say that to you down the line? she could’ve said she’s sorry now, if she’d rather do it later for her own selfish reasons (and at your emotional expense) then **** it. block her, trust me

Eh, I don't really care if she talks to me either way. I was trolled earlier by someone sending me fake texts pretending to be some girl I met on a dating app haha. I thought it was either her (she's 29 and I'd probably expect this from her and one of her stupid co-workers more than my 43 year old best friend) or my best friend.

Turns out it was my best friend. Texting me off some dude's number that he works with. He came clean. I knew it was one of them and referenced them both by name when I was replying to the messages! I knew it was someone local and not a friend from Jersey or out of state, as it was a local number.

 

[Bleedred]

In other sad and depressing news in my life and speaking of my best friend, he's worrying me lately. He used to drink a lot when we were kids, but not as much since he's gotten older. Definitely less and less as he got into his mid to late 20's and not too frequently lately. He's been drinking a lot lately. We've been going to bars a lot lately (me as the designated driver, I don't drink). Last night he drank way too much, got a little loud with the female bartender, still wanted to hit one more spot, which I told him we were done. Then I had to almost carry him into his house last night. Luckily, his wife and children were sleeping because he was a mess. He was incoherent, he was annoying, he was embarrassing himself at the bar. He was able to at least be conscious enough to tell me two or three times ''I'm sorry you had to see me like this''.

He left his phone and wallet in my car the whole night. He came over to get it this morning on his way to work. I didn't even know he left it.

He's been a huge help since I had this falling out with the girl. We've been hanging out every day for at least a couple hours. But in that time, he's started drinking a lot more than I had ever known him to in his adult life. It's like he's drinking for the both of us, since I don't drink. He's had 3 nights in the last 3 weeks where he's been really f***ed up, almost so bad he can't even stand. This is a functioning 43 year old guy with a wife and a big family.

It's like everything I touch is going to shit lately. I'm really glad I cancelled my trip to Jersey for this month. I feel like I would infected all of them with my giant cloud.

 

[None Shall Pass]

I'm really glad I cancelled my trip to Jersey for this month. I feel like I would infected all of them with my giant cloud.

We all could have taken you the trashiest strip club in the Amboys, but nooooooo, too good to visit home eh

 

[Bleedred]

We all could have taken you the trashiest strip club in the Amboys, but nooooooo, too good to visit home eh

Yeah, but now I can always visit for hockey season instead! Maybe catch a non-jersey retirement game for the first time since 2012.

 

[New Jersey]

yeesh, this gets weirder as you share more

bleed dodging bullets like the matrix

 

[Bleedred]

yeesh, this gets weirder as you share more

bleed dodging bullets like the matrix

I was over at my friend's house for most of the evening and he didn't drink tonight! That's a plus!

His wife was also at work (she works a few nights a week as a nurse) and he had to watch the kids, so hopefully that wasn't the reason for his non-drinking tonight and he's really not gonna drink like he has some of these nights the last few weeks.

 

[Scorcho]

I really don't know how much longer I can handle my situation @ home.

early in 2017 there was an incident between myself and former roommate (he spit on my face and headbutted me, brawl ensued) which resulted in my ex and I losing our place and not being able to find a new one because lawyer fees and my car broke down right at this time too. My relationship had already been deteriorating at this point, but i'm stubborn and thought i could stick it out. after about a year of living at my parent house, going through some heavy alcoholism during the trial (all charges dismissed btw) and coming to realize more and more that at a basic level, I was not compatible long term with this girl and that if I stayed with her I'd end up miserable forever and constantly taking care of her and solving her every problem. (at the core it came down to her being a bit of a complainer at heart, and I can't stand constant whining about everything and no action to fix your situation.

SO I broke up with her in March of this year. Went to Colorado to visit a friend right after and figured that she'd be out of my parents house and working on her life relatively soon...because really, who wants to live in their exes parent's house? I was wrong. 2 months later she still hadnt moved, and I could see that she really had no intention because she was still convinced she could win me back. I started drinking again more and eventually wound up with a dui because stupid me didn't want to drink at my house, so i went out to bar a on a tuesday =/

we;re now past 5 months. she's still living at my house. still trying to sleep with me after I told her I don't want to anymore
and still blowing up my phone almost everyday. last thursday she texted me 300+ times between 9am and 4pm ( i counted). I finally had to get my parents involved and they gave her a 9/1/18 deadline to get the hell out. but really at this point, the 22 more days i have to deal with her (without alcohol, 32 days of sobriety today) seem like an eternity.

this is just the bare bones too. the amount of sheer crazy i've had to deal with from this girl is staggering, placing her second on my list of crazy exes, behind the one who cheated on me and got pregnant.

 

[Bleedred]

I really don't know how much longer I can handle my situation @ home.

early in 2017 there was an incident between myself and former roommate (he spit on my face and headbutted me, brawl ensued) which resulted in my ex and I losing our place and not being able to find a new one because lawyer fees and my car broke down right at this time too. My relationship had already been deteriorating at this point, but i'm stubborn and thought i could stick it out. after about a year of living at my parent house, going through some heavy alcoholism during the trial (all charges dismissed btw) and coming to realize more and more that at a basic level, I was not compatible long term with this girl and that if I stayed with her I'd end up miserable forever and constantly taking care of her and solving her every problem. (at the core it came down to her being a bit of a complainer at heart, and I can't stand constant whining about everything and no action to fix your situation.

SO I broke up with her in March of this year. Went to Colorado to visit a friend right after and figured that she'd be out of my parents house and working on her life relatively soon...because really, who wants to live in their exes parent's house? I was wrong. 2 months later she still hadnt moved, and I could see that she really had no intention because she was still convinced she could win me back. I started drinking again more and eventually wound up with a dui because stupid me didn't want to drink at my house, so i went out to bar a on a tuesday =/

we;re now past 5 months. she's still living at my house. still trying to sleep with me after I told her I don't want to anymore
and still blowing up my phone almost everyday. last thursday she texted me 300+ times between 9am and 4pm ( i counted). I finally had to get my parents involved and they gave her a 9/1/18 deadline to get the hell out. but really at this point, the 22 more days i have to deal with her (without alcohol, 32 days of sobriety today) seem like an eternity.

this is just the bare bones too. the amount of sheer crazy i've had to deal with from this girl is staggering, placing her second on my list of crazy exes, behind the one who cheated on me and got pregnant.

Woof. That sounds awful! Sorry you went through all of this, but glad you’ve been sober now. So do you think they’ll have any trouble with getting her out on the first of September? Sounds like more bullshit on the way.