Sharks News/Notes XV

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Bowie22

blow it up
Jul 20, 2012
9,292
1,605
Santa Clara, CA
I was, ruthlessly. People who don't go through it have no idea the long term damage it causes. Severe social anxiety to the point of being unable to function properly in conversations with strangers. Ever wonder why someone looks at the floor when you talk to them and acts like they are extremely uncomfortable and cannot end the conversation fast enough? It's because they have an uncontrollable compulsion to believe that everyone is looking for a reason to make fun of them and embarrass them. They are terrified they will say something wrong and people will think they are strange, which of course because of that behavior people do in fact think. It's self-perpetuating, and damn near impossible to totally fix (I still haven't). I was in therapy most of my childhood to try to help, and eventually later in life I had to resort to anxiety and depression medication because no matter how much will power I have, I couldn't stop my brain from doing what it was conditioning to do. Thankfully I got pretty good pretending that everything was fine, so it didn't decimate my career and life, but it very easily could have. Even so, it held me back for decades until I found the right help and the right medications.

These days I'm doing a lot better, people constantly tell me that I seem like an entirely different person. They commend me for working through it, and I just smile and thank them. Inside though, it's still there, I still feel like every conversation I have with someone I am not very familiar with is like shoving needles under my fingernails, but it's faded enough that I can almost always ignore it.

Point is, bullying doesn't just create bad childhoods, it destroys lives, forever.

Thanks for posting this. It's gotten better since I was a kid, but anxiety is basically who I am as a person now. There are things I can no longer do, without fear of being labelled, or that everyone is watching me. I've tried therapy, and medicine, but I know I'm stuck with it. Just typing this is making my heart race lol.
 
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hockeyball

Registered User
Nov 10, 2007
21,552
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Thanks for posting this. It's gotten better since I was a kid, but anxiety is basically who I am as a person now. There are things I can no longer do, without fear of being labelled, or that everyone is watching me. I've tried therapy, and medicine, but I know I'm stuck with it. Just typing this is making my heart race lol.

Yah, I've resolved that it's part of who I am, but that doesnt mean I cant dull it and ignore it as much as possible. Took me several doctors and a lot failures to find something that helped. Doesnt fix it, but it makes it weigh a whole lot less.
 
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