Sean Couturier Reportedly Re-Injures Right Knee

[Ghosts Beer]

These are both brilliant but that Gudas line has me shook.

Look away to Wells Fargo Center.
Look awaaaayyyyyyyyy

Or, Look away, down, Broad and Pattison
Look awaaaaayyyyyy

Either way, I love it.

And thank you. I have to say, I'm pretty pleased at my Desperadoes Under the Eaves parody. That came out surprisingly well; when I hit upon the Gudas drill ending I both laughed and shuddered simultaneously.

Let me try one with Carmelita re: Holmgren

Well I'm sittin' here, playin' solitaire
With my Topps hockey deck
Comcast won't let me be GM no more
And they cut off Ed Snider's checks

Eh, not so good.

Mr. Snider, hold me tighter
I think we're sinking down
And we're all stuck now with a no movement clause
On the farmer from out of town

 

[Beef Invictus]

Or, Look away, down, Broad and Pattison
Look awaaaaayyyyyy

Either way, I love it.

And thank you. I have to say, I'm pretty pleased at my Desperadoes Under the Eaves parody. That came out surprisingly well; when I hit upon the Gudas drill ending I both laughed and shuddered simultaneously.

Let me try one with Carmelita re: Holmgren

Well I'm sittin' here, playin' solitaire
With my Topps hockey deck
Comcast won't let me be GM no more
And they cut off Ed Snider's checks

Eh, not so good.

Mr. Snider, hold me tighter
I think we're sinking down
And I'm all strung out on a no movement clause
On the farmer from out of town

The team needs a new spazoid so Excitable Boy can be reworked for them.

 

[Ghosts Beer]

The team needs a new spazoid so Excitable Boy can be reworked for them.

Well he stared at a writer in his post game press
Excitable Hak, they all said
And he vouched that Lehtty always does his best
Excitable Hak, they all said
Well he's just an excitable Hak

He took in some 4 a.m. tapes in the dark
Excitable Hak they all said
And he scratched Shayne Gostisbehere to give him a spark
He's just an excitable Hak they all said
Well he's just an excitable Hak

He took to young Robert who would rarely roam
Excitable Hak they all said
And his play really thrilled him cause he stayed at home
Excitable Hak they all said
Well he's just an excitable Hak

After 10 long years, he left the Wells Fargo
Excitable Hak they all said
And he dug up some beets and built a farm all his own
Excitable Hak they all said
Well he's just an excitable Hak

 

[Striiker]

 

[Ghosts Beer]

@Beef Invictus , do you know “Mama Couldn’t Be Persuaded”? One of my favorite underrated Zevon tunes.

Beet farmer ambled down a country lane
Became a hockey coach by chance
To the NHL he was new, but he knew what he wanted
And he wanted that big defense
His fanbase warned him
Tried to reason with him
But he was determined that he wanted no skill
The fans get offended at Hagg’s mention still
Hope they bench his soul, but I doubt they will
Cause Hakstol couldn’t be persuaded when fans pleaded with him
Beet farmer don’t suit up that low Corsi man

Beet farmer tried to be a winning coach
Though it didn’t suit his style
Thought he found him a winning combination
Playing Hagg when the stakes were high
His fanbase warned him
Tried to reason with him
Never kept their disappointment hid
It all went to pieces when Hagg threw a hit
Stuck in the middle, was Sanheim the kid

 

[GapToothedWonder]

f*** you Gudas.

 

[Beef Invictus]

@Beef Invictus , do you know “Mama Couldn’t Be Persuaded”? One of my favorite underrated Zevon tunes.

Beet farmer ambled down a country lane
Became a hockey coach by chance
To the NHL he was new, but he knew what he wanted
And he wanted that big defense
His fanbase warned him
Tried to reason with him
But he was determined that he wanted no skill
The fans get offended at Hagg’s mention still
Hope they bench his soul, but I doubt they will
Cause Hakstol couldn’t be persuaded when fans pleaded with him
Beet farmer don’t suit up that low Corsi man

Beet farmer tried to be a winning coach
Though it didn’t suit his style
Thought he found him a winning combination
Playing Hagg when the stakes were high
His fanbase warned him
Tried to reason with him
Never kept their disappointment hid
It all went to pieces when Hagg threw a hit
Stuck in the middle, was Sanheim the kid

I'm only just seeing this, and it's awesome. Well done, hahahaha.

I like every song on that album.

 

[Rich Nixon]

French Inhaler would be an interesting effort.

 

[Ghosts Beer]

French Inhaler would be an interesting effort.

That may be my favorite song of all time. I take it as a challenge. Will give it a go when I get a chance later. Any particular subject you want to focus on? I’m already thinking of making it about Hakstol. Some ideas immediately jumped to mind.

 

[Rich Nixon]

That may be my favorite song of all time. I take it as a challenge. Will give it a go when I get a chance later. Any particular subject you want to focus on?

I as well have it in the running for all-timers (in stiff competition witb Blaze Foley's "Clay Pigeons" and various entries from Zevon's fellow LA lowlife Tom Waits).

I think it all hinges on the "YOU SAID YOU WERE AN ACTRESS!" line in the middle, that big crescendo. Paired with the "...so I drank up all the money" my first thought was Ilya Bryzgalov. "And your glovehand is awwwwwful and frail," that line of thinking.

Also, that's such a terrible song, in spirit. I mean it's lyrically a hideous suggestion, which makes it all the more incredible.

 

[Ghosts Beer]

How’re you gonna make your way in the pros, beet farmer

When you weren’t cut out for coachin’

When your defense is slender & frail

How’re you gonna win a round

Against that sleazy Pittsburgh town

If you don’t put in work, with a lunchpail

Where will you go, with your Moose & no miracles

Hex should have showed you the door

Lehts & Laughts & Raff on Coots’ right

You must try it again until you get it right

Maybe you’ll end up Hakshelling every night

All these fans

With no coach to go coach Giroux

They’d all like to fire Lappy, too

Maybe I would, too

...

The Dakota Starer
He sure has failed here
So long, Boredom
Hex say, so long Boredom

 

[Ghosts Beer]

I as well have it in the running for all-timers (in stiff competition witb Blaze Foley's "Clay Pigeons" and various entries from Zevon's fellow LA lowlife Tom Waits).

I think it all hinges on the "YOU SAID YOU WERE AN ACTRESS!" line in the middle, that big crescendo. Paired with the "...so I drank up all the money" my first thought was Ilya Bryzgalov. "And your glovehand is awwwwwful and frail," that line of thinking.

Also, that's such a terrible song, in spirit. I mean it's lyrically a hideous suggestion, which makes it all the more incredible.

Even the woman Zevon wrote French Inhaler about admired that it was the greatest “F off” to a woman song of all-time. She may or may not have had French blood, but he’s clearly using the terminology for a cigarette smoking technique to insinuate she’s a whore doing a lot of things with her mouth. To be fair, he criticizes his own alcoholism in the song, which he does in a number of his songs. It’s a truly brilliant song, & sadly few know it.

I didn’t see your Bryzgalov angle when I hastily concocted my parody.

We could’ve gone Holmgren: “So I drank & Bryz got money! Yes Bryz got too much money. Thank these scouts at Xfinity Live. These phonies at Xfinity Live.”

 

[Domino666]

I as well have it in the running for all-timers (in stiff competition witb Blaze Foley's "Clay Pigeons" and various entries from Zevon's fellow LA lowlife Tom Waits).

I think it all hinges on the "YOU SAID YOU WERE AN ACTRESS!" line in the middle, that big crescendo. Paired with the "...so I drank up all the money" my first thought was Ilya Bryzgalov. "And your glovehand is awwwwwful and frail," that line of thinking.

Also, that's such a terrible song, in spirit. I mean it's lyrically a hideous suggestion, which makes it all the more incredible.

I love Old Tom Frost

 

[Rich Nixon]

How’re you gonna make your way in the pros, beet farmer

When you weren’t cut out for coachin’

When your defense is slender & frail

How’re you gonna win a round

Against that sleazy Pittsburgh town

If you don’t put in work, with a lunchpail

Where will you go, with your Moose & no miracles

Hex should have showed you the door

Lehts & Laughts & Raff on Coots’ right

You must try it again until you get it right

Maybe you’ll end up Hakshelling every night

All these fans

With no coach to go coach Giroux

They’d all like to fire Lappy, too

Maybe I would, too

...

The Dry Beet Farmer
He stared at karma
So long, Davy
Hex said, so long Davy

MWAH!

 

[Ghosts Beer]

MWAH!

I did that in 15 minutes. I’m no genius, but it’s not bad.

 

[BringBackHakstol]

French inhaler and that entire zevon album are everything. And excitable boy minus the shitty funk song.