OT: Relationship Advice Thread

[Roo Returns]

Also, those cocky and arrogant dudes get played out quickly. I cant tell you how many of those guys are washed up when theyre well into their 30s.

A lot of those guys end up in crappy marriages, divorced, or end up cheating and causing a divorce.

If a man does his work in his 30s and has a steady upward trajectory, he'll have options.

 

[SnowblindNYR]

A lot of those guys end up in crappy marriages, divorced, or end up cheating and causing a divorce.

If a man does his work in his 30s and has a steady upward trajectory, he'll have options.

Funny you mention trajectory. I'm kind of embarrassed to admit it but I'm taking a dating course. Basically we learned that that trajectory is more important than where you are today. It's great for framing.

 

[JCProdigy]

Funny you mention trajectory. I'm kind of embarrassed to admit it but I'm taking a dating course. Basically we learned that that trajectory is more important than where you are today. It's great for framing.

Ah, is this you in the course?

 

[SnowblindNYR]

Ah, is this you in the course?

I can't shake my ass as well him.

 

[Roo Returns]

Funny you mention trajectory. I'm kind of embarrassed to admit it but I'm taking a dating course. Basically we learned that that trajectory is more important than where you are today. It's great for framing.

Since this is a hockey board, I always view dating as building a team. You're going to have to train hard and continue to improve, you can't achieve greatness in six months. You need to establish a foundation, culture, scout, and draft well.

You need a lot of prospects as well, and not everyone is going to pan out or be a franchise player. I'm no Casanova but I've had the occasional luck back in my 20s with the late rounders which are the ones you run into at a party, a friend's friend. You get their number or social media and most of the time it amounts to nothing, but every now and then, you have a fling. I was briefly involved with two women in my early 20s from other states that I met at these type of situations. Even travelled to visit them.

I met an exchange student in Rutgers when I was 24, chose not to pursue it because we had nothing in common other than she was single and I was getting over a breakup.

On the other end: I met a girl during a Rangers playoff game a few years back, the Ottawa 2017 series in particular; smart, single, ambitious, pretty, knew her hockey, football, and loved going to Mets games, and we had a lot more in common (I'm not going to get into politics but we did discuss it). But she ghosted me a week later. Stuff happens.

It's a little demented but I always think about the women who have decided I'm not good enough to be with, it's almost like when I do find who to be with they'll be almost like those 7-8 people who the Rangers should have but didn't win the Cup with (Greschner/Erixon/Beezer/Gartner/etc.).

 

[East Coast Bias]

You guys sound like management consultants. It’s weird. Stop looking at this as a business opportunity. There’s a whole industry of bullshit where people try to paint this as some sort of failure bc you haven’t studied the skills or analyzed women enough to be successful. This shit is the stuff of sociopaths.

Just be yourself and try to meet people like minded or interested in things you are. Don’t try and anticipate what women want you to be - it doesn’t work that way.

 

[Roo Returns]

You guys sound like management consultants. It’s weird. Stop looking at this as a business opportunity. There’s a whole industry of bullshit where people try to paint this as some sort of failure bc you haven’t studied the skills or analyzed women enough to be successful. This shit is the stuff of sociopaths.

Just be yourself and try to meet people like minded or interested in things you are. Don’t try and anticipate what women want you to be - it doesn’t work that way.

I'm not going to start an argument. Honestly, between my day job and YouTube channel I don't post here much anymore during the offseason other than the big days.

The entire point of my posts regarding relationships is to be encouraging and ensure the mental health of others. I have known guys (and girls) who have made terrible life changing decisions that have cost them thousands of dollars, years, because of being cheated on or they were in love with someone.

I myself have been in relationships with very troubled people.

When you or anyone get stuck/obsessed/oneitus/whatever you want to call it (look up the definition of limerence) it's dangerous short term or long term.

I'm not going to look it up but that thing in The Catcher In The Rye where the teacher tells Holden to write down your own experiences and journeys to benefit others as it may save them. You get where I'm going.

It's also hard to meet people now during the heigh of a pandemic. In my big group chat with a healthy number of guys and gals I grew up with, they have friends and colleagues who were lonely and decided to go to Vegas, Hawaii, etc. and came back with covid. Why? To try and meet Mr. or Mrs. Right or get an Instagram selfie.

Being yourself is cool and keeping it 100 is important, but what if you're a little socially awkward or nervous? You gotta improve that shit homie. Not every woman is going to be cool with it.

I post here too as an example. I still think about a woman I had a lot in common with who got burned very bad in a previous thing and I always had her back, but she walked the hell out of my life almost ten months ago. Despite being flirtatious the second I showed romantic feelings it essentially ended our friendship.

I got that other thing far away too I've talked about.

I have some low level options but I've made the decision just sit it out a few more months and work on me.

It's not a woe is me. I don't need that from here. I don't want people to feel pity or vilify any women. What I want is everyone on this board to feel good and be in a good state of mind knowing things will be ok, you got options. Just because someone doesn't think you're awesome doesn't mean you aren't, and you can improve for yourself not for anyone.

May we all be here or when HF Boards goes full chip implant so we can talk Rangers hockey for the next five decades.

 

[kovazub94]

You guys sound like management consultants. It’s weird. Stop looking at this as a business opportunity. There’s a whole industry of bullshit where people try to paint this as some sort of failure bc you haven’t studied the skills or analyzed women enough to be successful. This shit is the stuff of sociopaths.

Just be yourself and try to meet people like minded or interested in things you are. Don’t try and anticipate what women want you to be - it doesn’t work that way.

A lot of people struggle in social situations including establishing a functional intimate relationships (failed marriages, abusive relationships, etc). We all carry instilled subjective views and faults of our parents while having to deal with a completely different external environment. Not many people can “naturally” identify these inherited issues in themselves, never even mind resolving them. Objectively looking at yourself is not easy. So your advice to just be yourself would often only lead to staying in a vicious cycle trying and failing at finding a “mate” by keep repeating the same failed behaviors or responses.

 

[smoneil]

I can't shake my ass as well him.

You may have just isolated the main issue in your dating problems, haha.

 

[SnowblindNYR]

You may have just isolated the main issue in your dating problems, haha.

 

[NYSPORTS]

You guys sound like management consultants. It’s weird. Stop looking at this as a business opportunity. .

waiting for dating resumes to appear.

Oct 19 to Covid19 and have not heard from her
- 4 dinners
- 2 movies
- 1/2 a Netflix Series
- 2083 texts
- MIA

July 2017 - August 2017
- a lunch
- she changed her phone number

Jan 2015 - June 2017
- 1 Christmas
- 30 Dinners
- 17 Movies
- Countless alcohol
- 12 i luv you
- 12,193 texts
- 1 exorcism

Just wait until Marriage and kids

 

[aufheben]

I apologize everyone what direction this thread took. I was honestly just really upset yesterday, I'm more or less over it today.

If it makes you feel any better, the best periods of my life have always been when I was single.

 

[kovazub94]

If it makes you feel any better, the best periods of my life have always been when I was single.

Ouch

 

[SnowblindNYR]

Every time I see "ignored member" in a thread I think of this thread.

 

[Machinehead]

You guys sound like management consultants. It’s weird. Stop looking at this as a business opportunity. There’s a whole industry of bullshit where people try to paint this as some sort of failure bc you haven’t studied the skills or analyzed women enough to be successful. This shit is the stuff of sociopaths.

Just be yourself and try to meet people like minded or interested in things you are. Don’t try and anticipate what women want you to be - it doesn’t work that way.

We look at everything like it's business and I find that really unhealthy.

 

[will1066]

 

[NYR]

Oh lawd. Even this has to turn analytical lol.
Just be yourself, don't act like you're hanging out with your buddies on a drinking night and be a dick AND most importantly...Speak to "HER" feelings!
Done deal

 

[aufheben]

Ouch

It’s true, man. When things are really rolling, that’s when I meet someone—even if I’m not looking. Then it’s great for a little bit, then it’s up and down for a while, then devastation, then rebuilding; repeat. It’s so f***ing nice only having to worry about yourself.

Also what the hell happened to dating apps? Is it just COVID? I remember when Tinder first came out it took me like 5 minutes to meet someone lirl.

 

[Off Sides]

Don’t try and anticipate what women want you to be - it doesn’t work that way.

Very true, at least until you get married.

Then you want to be what she wants you to be, or at least what she wants you to be right then. Sometimes she does not know what she wants you to be, but you should apparently know what she wants you to be even if what she wants you to be has changed recently.

I know that comes off making it seem impossible to anticipate what she wants you to be and it is, yet that is no excuse for you not being what she wants you to be.

 

[BBKers]

f***.......help!

 

[will1066]

https://nypost.com/2020/12/18/nyc-playboys-vow-to-settle-down-since-covid-has-ruined-all-their-fun/

 

[SnowblindNYR]

https://nypost.com/2020/12/18/nyc-playboys-vow-to-settle-down-since-covid-has-ruined-all-their-fun/

You know, I'd rather be the guy he's trying to be now rather than guy he was pre-Covid but somehow in my head it's programmed that the guy he used to be was higher social status. Even though I don't think I ever wanted to be a guy who just sleeps around.

 

[One Winged Angel]

Relationship advice?

Stay single, drink beer, watch hockey. Hockey will never nag you, talk back to you or take your money.

 

[Machinehead]

The diet is going great.

I just had cheesecake.

 

[SnowblindNYR]

So the matchmaking service is done. The last girl I had a date with I felt a real connection. Just got rejected today. 14 dates and I was 0-14, I'm the Bucs of the 70s.