OT: Relationship Advice Thread

[YoSoyLalo]

Well, I knew this would come up. I admit that I did read it twice to realize that you weren't looking for a student-teacher relationship.

If u skim the post like I admittedly did you can def come to that conclusion lol

 

[Machinehead]

For the record, that is absolutely off the table. No way, no how.

I've had students bouncing into my office every damn day for help they don't need. I just sit there like "do you need a copy of the syllabus, Ma'am?"

 

[Clark Kellogg]

Been happily married for just Under thirty years and so has my wife as far as I can tell.
For sensitive types do not read past this point:






During intimacy make sure your wife achieves gratification first. No matter what you have to do, no matter how tired you are and no matter how many different parts of your anatomy ache follow this rule.
Happy Wife, Happy Life.

Syncharitiria!
Buona Fortuna!

 

[Rangerfan4life90]

Been happily married for just Under thirty years and so has my wife as far as I can tell.
For sensitive types do not read past this point:






During intimacy make sure your wife achieves gratification first. No matter what you have to do, no matter how tired you are and no matter how many different parts of your anatomy ache follow this rule.
Happy Wife, Happy Life.

Syncharitiria!
Buona Fortuna!

Eh, I always prefer Happy Spouse, Happy House instead, lol.

Happy Wife, Happy Life - it just feels like your job is to make your wife happy to the determinant of your own happiness as well, which I don't subscribe to. Both people should be happy to have a happy life.

That being said, I definitely make sure the woman achieves sexual gratification first. In a way, I actually get more turned on by doing that, lol.

 

[Kaapo di tutti capi]

Been happily married for just Under thirty years and so has my wife as far as I can tell.
For sensitive types do not read past this point:






During intimacy make sure your wife achieves gratification first. No matter what you have to do, no matter how tired you are and no matter how many different parts of your anatomy ache follow this rule.
Happy Wife, Happy Life.

Syncharitiria!
Buona Fortuna!

I think you should even follow that rule for casual relationships. It never hurts to be a gentleman and make sure you give before you take.

 

[SnowblindNYR]

Yup. It happens to both sexes. The echo-chamber exists for men and for women and I think there are issues that women get more of a pass on the same as there are issues where men tend to get a pass. It's not a binary issue by any stretch and even the most well-intentioned movements can go awry now and then.

I just think the red pill movement is conditioning men to only want a certain subset of women, while they're in turn lamenting women for only wanting a certain subset of guys. I can see where they're coming from but I think too many people in that community are not only widening that gap, but they're monetizing the gap as well.

Honestly, there are inequities when that men enjoy that women don't but current popular opinion in polite circles (you can deduce what aren't polite circles) are A LOT friendlier and forgiving for women in my experience. If men said some of the things that are said by some women they'd be misogynistic pigs. Honestly, take poll of a random group of people and see how many know the word misandry and how many know the word misogyny. I guarantee you that significantly more know the latter. That said, this type of grievance just makes me bitter. So I try to stay away from it.

 

[SnowblindNYR]

As a teacher, I am often appalled by the reading comprehension level on here. Good work, sir.

I read it initially as you trying to pick up one of your students. Bro, I like you but as a teacher you're also supposed to be aware of communication skills and being able to clearly get the message across. If more than one person read it as you wanting to pick up one of your students maybe it's your communication and not their reading comprehension.

 

[LokiDog]

I read it initially as you trying to pick up one of your students. Bro, I like you but as a teacher you're also supposed to be aware of communication skills and being able to clearly get the message across. If more than one person read it as you wanting to pick up one of your students maybe it's your communication and not their reading comprehension.

I mean, I was an English major my first time through college and I took his actual meaning immediately and responded as such. I don’t think there was anything wrong with his communication; it may have been ambiguous but it didn’t take a big leap of logic to infer that between chatting up someone from the classes he’s taking or one of the classes he’s teaching, the more logical was the one he’s taking.

For example “she would definitely know who I am but we haven’t really interacted much” doesn’t sound like he’s her teacher.

 

[Irishguy42]

I did, at first glance, think MH was hitting on a student. But then I re-read it and was like "ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh"

 

[SnowblindNYR]

Speaking of teacher student relations. I remember in business school my teacher of an unreasonable asshole. We had a take home test that was timed. The shared environment in which I was using the computer program in crapped out and I emailed the professor and he didn't respond till the next day. When he did he said he takes off points per some unit of time and enough time has passed that I'll get a zero. In other words he was an asshole. The next day I tried every possible avenue to fix the problem and took an Uber to school and the computer lab. I told the Uber driver this story and the Uber driver said that often women get this type of thing handled by sleeping with the professor. I thought that sounded preposterous but always wondered, what if he's not full of shit?

 

[SnowblindNYR]

I mean, I was an English major my first time through college and I took his actual meaning immediately and responded as such. I don’t think there was anything wrong with his communication; it may have been ambiguous but it didn’t take a big leap of logic to infer that between chatting up someone from the classes he’s taking or one of the classes he’s teaching, the more logical was the one he’s taking.

For example “she would definitely know who I am but we haven’t really interacted much” doesn’t sound like he’s her teacher.

The idea that it's the other person not getting it bothers me because I feel like whenever I don't get something my boss is explaining to me it's because it's a problem with my comprehension and not his communication. And particularly from a teacher you have to be cognizant of your communication and not blame the party that doesn't understand you.

 

[LokiDog]

The idea that it's the other person not getting it bothers me because I feel like whenever I don't get something my boss is explaining to me it's because it's a problem with my comprehension and not his communication. And particularly from a teacher you have to be cognizant of your communication and not blame the party that doesn't understand you.

This is not something that having a generalized feeling about will be fruitful with. Every single situation is different and - sadly - very often in modern times it is the audience that lacks comprehensive faculties and not the source of the message. Does that mean your boss falls into that category? Not at all. But I don’t think anyone gets the benefit of the doubt these days. Too often people don’t read for context and comprehension anymore; they do a quick skim and decide to formulate and share an opinion based on that. Their own fault.

 

[smoneil]

Speaking of teacher student relations. I remember in business school my teacher of an unreasonable asshole. We had a take home test that was timed. The shared environment in which I was using the computer program in crapped out and I emailed the professor and he didn't respond till the next day. When he did he said he takes off points per some unit of time and enough time has passed that I'll get a zero. In other words he was an asshole. The next day I tried every possible avenue to fix the problem and took an Uber to school and the computer lab. I told the Uber driver this story and the Uber driver said that often women get this type of thing handled by sleeping with the professor. I thought that sounded preposterous but always wondered, what if he's not full of shit?

It still happens, but not nearly as much as it used to. When it happens now, it usually turns into a scandal or a news story. But if you look at the ranks of the full professors (those 20+ years into their careers), a surprising number of them will be on their second, younger, spouse. I know quite a few profs in their 60s+ who are married to former students. I don't get it. I'm a new prof, but I'm still all "I have shoes older than most of you."

 

[LokiDog]

Speaking of teacher student relations. I remember in business school my teacher of an unreasonable asshole. We had a take home test that was timed. The shared environment in which I was using the computer program in crapped out and I emailed the professor and he didn't respond till the next day. When he did he said he takes off points per some unit of time and enough time has passed that I'll get a zero. In other words he was an asshole. The next day I tried every possible avenue to fix the problem and took an Uber to school and the computer lab. I told the Uber driver this story and the Uber driver said that often women get this type of thing handled by sleeping with the professor. I thought that sounded preposterous but always wondered, what if he's not full of shit?

Why would he be?

The truth is the world is disgusting and all the high ideals and codes of chivalry we internalize and try to live by do not go very far.

Trust me, I get it. I’m a huge nerd who grew up on Arthurian legends and Aragorn, but after being military, law enforcement and now working with investors, it’s become increasingly evident that the reality is that a large majority of people “monetize” or “weaponize” whatever assets they have. For attractive women, sex is an asset and while most don’t go the route of literally monetizing it, it is still often traded for things that they want. Look no further than the sheer number of young women who have set up only fans and private snapchats and willingly monetize their body instead of pursuing “a real job” or for extra income.

 

[SnowblindNYR]

Why would he be?

The truth is the world is disgusting and all the high ideals and codes of chivalry we internalize and try to live by do not go very far.

Trust me, I get it. I’m a huge nerd who grew up on Arthurian legends and Aragorn, but after being military, law enforcement and now working with investors, it’s become increasingly evident that the reality is that a large majority of people “monetize” or “weaponize” whatever assets they have. For attractive women, sex is an asset and while most don’t go the route of literally monetizing it, it is still often traded for things that they want. Look no further than the sheer number of young women who have set up only fans and private snapchats and willingly monetize their body instead of pursuing “a real job” or for extra income.

I mean in that situation I blame the professor, not the student. Or at least >50% of the blame.

 

[LokiDog]

I mean in that situation I blame the professor, not the student. Or at least >50% of the blame.

Perhaps. But women know that the asset is there. They may be young and not realize how they’re degrading themselves or be making the best decision, but they are making a choice to “weaponize” that asset in exchange for something they could have gotten through other means. It happens.

 

[Machinehead]

I read it initially as you trying to pick up one of your students. Bro, I like you but as a teacher you're also supposed to be aware of communication skills and being able to clearly get the message across. If more than one person read it as you wanting to pick up one of your students maybe it's your communication and not their reading comprehension.

Why, do you guys think I teach MA classes at 29 years old? I'm flattered.

 

[NYSPORTS]

Why, do you guys think I teach MA classes at 29 years old? I'm flattered.

i think you should definitely purse students and keep up updated on how well it goes.

 

[NYR]

I read it initially as you trying to pick up one of your students. Bro, I like you but as a teacher you're also supposed to be aware of communication skills and being able to clearly get the message across. If more than one person read it as you wanting to pick up one of your students maybe it's your communication and not their reading comprehension.

AND...We have a winner! Lol

 

[Machinehead]

AND...We have a winner! Lol

Oh like you didn't just come here to abuse me. Look at the first thing you posted.

 

[NYR]

Oh like you didn't just come here to abuse me. Look at the first thing you posted.

The post was a joke but with a serious undertone.
Speaking about reading comprehension/ communication, I would've thought you'd have figured that out, professor..

 

[Machinehead]

The post was a joke but with a serious undertone.
Speaking about reading comprehension/ communication, I would've thought you'd have figured that out, professor..

"Your haircut is awful" is a joke. "Your personality is awful and nobody will ever love you" is not that.

I don't care, you don't have to like me, but you said what you said. Don't cop out on it.

@SnowblindNYR does have a valid point, if people misunderstood, my bad, but you showed up today just to bring it up.

You haven't participated in this thread at all other than to attack me, so maybe you should do what I did and get a job.

 

[LokiDog]

The offseason blues are in full effect around here lately.

 

[NYR]

"Your haircut is awful" is a joke. "Your personality is awful and nobody will ever love you" is not that.

I don't care, you don't have to like me, but you said what you said. Don't cop out on it.

@SnowblindNYR does have a valid point, if people misunderstood, my bad, but you showed up today just to bring it up.

You haven't participated in this thread at all other than to attack me, so maybe you should do what I did and get a job.

MH.. Are you really that fragile and insecure to the point where you would actually accuse me of coming here for the sole purpose of abusing you?
I can assure you.. You don't even exist in my world unless I happen to come across one of your posts.
Further more...Even though my post was very much sent in a light and joking manor, it also includes some advice that may be in your best interest and has nothing but good intentions attached to it.
Maybe you need to lighten the f*** up already but hopefully you'll look in the mirror first..

 

[Machinehead]

MH.. Are you really that fragile and insecure to the point where you would actually accuse me of coming here for the sole purpose of abusing you?
I can assure you.. You don't even exist in my world unless I happen to come across one of your posts.
Further more...Even though my post was very much sent in a light and joking manor, it also includes some advice that may be in your best interest and has nothing but good intentions attached to it.
Maybe you need to lighten the f*** up already but hopefully you'll look in the mirror first..

Your advice was "don't be you." It was a shitty comment and you went out of your way to make it and then do it again.

We're all here to help each other, you could act like an adult for once.