Parise Scratched

[GuerinUp]

Incoming price for parise trade e5

parise retained +2021 1st to nyi for empty pizza box and used maga hat e5

 

[ThatGuy22]

He’ll develop some sort of rare and sudden chronic allergy that’ll make his feet swell up when he puts on skates

Lord knows he's received enough cross checks in the back (and a back surgery 2 years ago) to have semi legitimate back problems.

 

[Pavel Buchnevich]

Has the coach sorted out Zuccarello's problem yet with double-shifting himself?

He did it all the time his last year with the Rangers.

 

[Dickie Dunn]

bye Zach

 

[Imnotagoodposter]

Lord knows he's received enough cross checks in the back (and a back surgery 2 years ago) to have semi legitimate back problems.

Oh I know I’m just joking about the creative cap circumvention that some teams come up with

 

[FunkySeeFunkyDo]

That title belongs to Stastny for me.

Only if you’re talking Paul and his uncles. Good not great does not apply to his dad.

 

[Kuznetsnow]

Oh I know I’m just joking about the creative cap circumvention that some teams come up with

Are you actually familiar with Hossas situation? Or the fact that the Hawks lost him while he was still outplaying his cap hit?

 

[GuerinUp]

Are you actually familiar with Hossas situation? Or the fact that the Hawks lost him while he was still outplaying his cap hit?

Coincidently at the same time they were about to be in cap hell.....

 

[Kuznetsnow]

Coincidently at the same time they were about to be in cap hell.....

Which part of his medical condition was fraudulent?

 

[GuerinUp]

Which part of his medical condition was fraudulent?

the part where a skin rash prevents you from playing hockey....

 

[ThatGuy22]

Would have been easy for Parise to dodge the media with the nature of covid, props to him for addressing it head on.

 

[GuerinUp]

"100% has his back"

ignorance is bliss they say....

 

[Kuznetsnow]

the part where a skin rash prevents you from playing hockey....

I thought it was the part where he would blow out his organs if he kept taking steroids to keep it in check but ok.

If only those dumb dumb insurance companies were smart enough to employ Dr Guerin, they could've saved millions by not falling for such an obvious charade

 

[GuerinUp]

I thought it was the part where he would blow out his organs if he kept taking steroids to keep it in check but ok.

If only those dumb dumb insurance companies were smart enough to employ Dr Guerin, they could've saved millions by not falling for such an obvious charade

if a guy can play with a punctured lung, surely a man can play with a rash...

 

[Kuznetsnow]

if a guy can play with a punctured lung, surely a man can play with a rash...

And winner for dumbest post of the year goes to...

 

[GuerinUp]

And winner for dumbest post of the year goes to...

you for believing his ltir is legit...

 

[BahlDeep]

as a Devils fan... just lol.

 

[Kuznetsnow]

you for believing his ltir is legit...

Do you think you can just hand waive anyone to ltir and doctors from the NHL and insurance companies that lose money on it will ok it?

Life will hit you hard after high school

 

[Swervin81]

The Parise to NYI trade last year already fell through partly due to the cap gymnastics needed to make it happen... I'd imagine now with guys like Beauvillier and Wahlstrom emerging as scoring threats, they no longer have as desperate a need for a winger. Especially one whose back is barely held together these days with Elmer's glue.

 

[Kuznetsnow]

The Parise to NYI trade last year already fell through partly due to the cap gymnastics needed to make it happen... I'd imagine now with guys like Beauvillier and Wahlstrom emerging as scoring threats, they no longer have as desperate a need for a winger. Especially one whose back is barely held together these days with Elmer's glue.

What cap gymnastics? Thought the Wild were taking Ladd back and all was good

 

[GuerinUp]

Do you think you can just hand waive anyone to ltir and doctors from the NHL and insurance companies that lose money on it will ok it?

Life will hit you hard after high school

must be living in world of rainbows and butterflies if you think deceptive practices arent used in everyday life and people always tell the truth..

i also havent been in high school in over a decade so.....

but have you heard, if you call that number on tv you may be entitled to a cash settlement from your mesh hernia repair, or mesothelioma?

ya... im the ignorant one...

if the glove doesnt fit you must acquit

 

[deckercky]

Makes $8m this year, $6m next year, then $2m, $1m, $1m

I would guess Parise is going to have a career ending injury next year

Or if he's angry at getting benched, he will retire after next season.

 

[Kuznetsnow]

must be living in world of rainbows and butterflies if you think deceptive practices arent used in everyday life and people always tell the truth..

i also havent been in high school in over a decade so.....

but have you heard, if you call that number on tv you may be entitled to a cash settlement from your mesh hernia repair, or mesothelioma?

ya... im the ignorant one...

if the glove doesnt fit you must acquit

Maybe it wouldn't hurt for you to hit up high school again. Or middle school for that matter.

Describing his condition as a "rash" is like describing cancer as "going bald". But obviously you don't care about any of the details because you're here to proudly get off on being an idiot

 

[Swervin81]

What cap gymnastics? Thought the Wild were taking Ladd back and all was good

Oh. Right. I forget Ladd existed.

 

[MuckOG]

The only way I think the Wild can move Parise is to retain a significant portion of his salary and/or picks and prospects going with him.