Pre-Game Talk: Oilers Law(se) is Jets Gain

[5 Mins 4 Ftg]

Oilers Law

Article 6
Any team that is missing one (or more) of its premier players in a game versus the Oilers in which the Oilers are anticipated to gain advantage from said missing players shall defeat the Oilers.

Article 7
Any opposing team that is fatigued from playing its 3rd game in 4 nights against the Oilers and/or playing thier second of back to back games against the Oilers and/or playing it’s first home game against the Oilers after a lengthy road trip in which the Oilers are anticipated to gain advantage from said fatigued team shall defeat the Oilers.

Therefore as the Oilers are anticipated to gain advantage over the Jets due to the Jets:

A- missing a premier player
B- playing a 3rd game in 4 nights
C- playing the 2nd game in a back to back
and
D- playing their first home game after a lengthy road trip

thus falling firmly into Oilers Law Articles 6 and 7 (Articles 1 thru 5 I posted in another thread but I can’t find them now) the Oilers shall therefore and hereby lose said game.

The Oilers shall prove the Law valid and correct on the Day Of Our Lord January 24, 2021.

Signed forthwith and in good stead;
5 Mins 4 Ftg

Click to read more...

 

[The Head Crusher]

Wait we are getting LAW to come back to do the next GDT?

 

[FanOfSadTeam]

*checks Jets roster for any rookies who haven't scored*

Congrats rookie dman Logan Stanley on your first NHL goal.

 

[Biltmore]

Point shots must be allowed unhindered passage as has been written by our forefathers these many years ago.

 

[5 Mins 4 Ftg]

Found Articles 1-5


The Laws Of Oiler Hockey

Article 1. All former Oilers traded from or unsigned by the Oilers shall score at will with their new teams. In the case of goaltenders they shall improve their save percentage by +100.

Article 2. All former Oilers shall always score on the Oilers when they play the Oilers. In the case of former goaltenders they shall never lose in regulation to the Oilers.

Article 3. All NHL rookies shall score their first ever career goal when they play the Oilers while all Oiler rookies shall struggle to make the line up. In the case of goalies they shall shut out the Oilers.

Article 4. All NHL players mired in severe scoring slumps shall score on the Oilers when they play the Oilers. In the case of goalies mired in severe winless streaks they shall win when they play the Oilers.

Article 5. All players traded to or free agents signed by the Oilers shall cease and desist with any and all consistent form of scoring in any shape or form. In the case of goaltenders their save % shall drop by -100.

 

[5 Mins 4 Ftg]

*checks Jets roster for any rookies who haven't scored*

Congrats rookie dman Logan Stanley on your first NHL goal.

Falls under Article 3

 

[5 Mins 4 Ftg]

Point shots must be allowed unhindered passage as has been written by our forefathers these many years ago.

Subsection - Those point shots that are hindered shall be tipped or deflected into the Oilers net.

 

[Behind Enemy Lines]

Prime Directive

Oilers don't work hard. Do not play smart in their own end. Start 7 pm games at 7:20 pm. Don't play for Colby, Joey or Coach Muck.

 

[bellagiobob]

 

[booyakasha]

Matty's question...have you always played a style where you go to the corners and get the puck?

 

[Drai Fi]

When Tippett was asked about putting Pulju on the first line, he said “we’ll see”.

So I’m guessing the line-up will look like this.

RNH-McDavid-Kassian
Kahun-Drai-Yamamoto
Ennis-Turris-Pulju
Neal-Shore-Archibald

 

[McDrai]

I found Article 8:

At least one goal shall be scored by the opposition, in which a weak wrist shot from the point is deflected into the Oiler's net. Any prevention of Article 8 will result in the removal of Bobby Nick's Burger and fine of $10,000,000.

And... Article 9:

Any action resulting in the merging of Draisaitl Leon, Nugent-Hopkins Ryan, and Yamamoto Kailer is punishable by law through either: a) $5,000,000 fine b) Kassian, Zack on the first line for a minimum of 20 games

And... Article 10:

Any action resulting in the implementation of Bouchard Evan into the lineup is punishable by law through either: a) $5,000,000 fine b) Larsson, Adam receiving exemption from being scratched

 

[Delicious Pancakes]

So relative to the Dubois for Roslovic and Laine trade if you were to ask who is the immediate winner of this trade, is the answer not the Oilers since Dubois has to quarantine before playing and the Jets play the Oilers twice now? @5 Mins 4 Ftg points in the OP not withstanding this is pretty great timing for the Oilers.

Edit: I guess I didn't realize Laine is on IR so the trade doesn't really impact these games.

 

[Old Boys Club]

Put in Benson, McLeod and Haas (if ready). Bottom 6 has been putrid and some guys need to ride pine. If you don't produce you should sit. Larsson needs to come out for Bouchard.

 

[Stoneman89]

Oilers Law

Article 6
Any team that is missing one (or more) of its premier players in a game versus the Oilers in which the Oilers are anticipated to gain advantage from said missing players shall defeat the Oilers.

Article 7
Any opposing team that is fatigued from playing its 3rd game in 4 nights against the Oilers and/or playing thier second of back to back games against the Oilers and/or playing it’s first home game against the Oilers after a lengthy road trip in which the Oilers are anticipated to gain advantage from said fatigued team shall defeat the Oilers.

Therefore as the Oilers are anticipated to gain advantage over the Jets due to the Jets:

A- missing a premier player
B- playing a 3rd game in 4 nights
C- playing the 2nd game in a back to back
and
D- playing their first home game after a lengthy road trip

thus falling firmly into Oilers Law Articles 6 and 7 (Articles 1 thru 5 I posted in another thread but I can’t find them now) the Oilers shall therefore and hereby lose said game.

The Oilers shall prove the Law valid and correct on the Day Of Our Lord January 24, 2021.

Signed forthwith and in good stead;
5 Mins 4 Ftg

Very good, lol. I have another one, and it reared it's ugly head in the game last night.

"Should the Oilers perform an outstanding play at a key moment in the game, and a goal is produced (shorthand tally by Drai), instead of using that momentum and pushing forward even more, they shall collapse in a shell and let the other team get mad and get the goal right back (allow a PP goal), and then some (lose the game)."

 

[Stoneman89]

So relative to the Dubois for Roslovic and Laine trade if you were to ask who is the immediate winner of this trade, is the answer not the Oilers since Dubois has to quarantine before playing and the Jets play the Oilers twice now? @5 Mins 4 Ftg points in the OP not withstanding this is pretty great timing for the Oilers.

Edit: I guess I didn't realize Laine is on IR so the trade doesn't really impact these games.

Did you not read the rules of the Oiler universe above? Undermanned Jets will swamp us.

 

[Stoneman89]

Matty's question...have you always played a style where you go to the corners and get the puck?

Lol. I think they just keep Matty around now for comic relief.

 

[Mez]

When Tippett was asked about putting Pulju on the first line, he said “we’ll see”.

So I’m guessing the line-up will look like this.

RNH-McDavid-Kassian
Kahun-Drai-Yamamoto
Ennis-Turris-Pulju
Neal-Shore-Archibald

Thats a good guess...safe guess...likely true.

 

[Biltmore]

I found Article 8:

At least one goal shall be scored by the opposition, in which a weak wrist shot from the point is deflected into the Oiler's net. Any prevention of Article 8 will result in the removal of Bobby Nick's Burger and fine of $10,000,000.

And... Article 9:

Any action resulting in the merging of Draisaitl Leon, Nugent-Hopkins Ryan, and Yamamoto Kailer is punishable by law through either: a) $5,000,000 fine b) Kassian, Zack on the first line for a minimum of 20 games

And... Article 10:

Any action resulting in the implementation of Bouchard Evan into the lineup is punishable by law through either: a) $5,000,000 fine b) Larsson, Adam receiving exemption from being scratched

Skilled NCAA players drafted by Edmonton must first be offered up to all other NHL teams before signing with Edmonton.

Subsection A: NCAA players signed by Edmonton shall be rendered impotent and stripped of their skills upon signing with Edmonton.

 

[Delicious Pancakes]

When Tippett was asked about putting Pulju on the first line, he said “we’ll see”.

So I’m guessing the line-up will look like this.

RNH-McDavid-Kassian
Kahun-Drai-Yamamoto
Ennis-Turris-Pulju
Neal-Shore-Archibald

Yeah unfortunately this is most likely true. Don't fix what's broke, right?

 

[Gordy Elbows]

Article 11: There shall be no goals scored into empty nets. This is deemed unsportsmanlike and frowned upon. In those situations, the Oiler players will either:
. shoot the puck over the boards (draw a delay of game), or
. cause an icing call.

 

[DropTheGloves]

When Tippett was asked about putting Pulju on the first line, he said “we’ll see”.

Can we fire this fossil already? He is actively hurting the team by not putting DRY back together and seemingly also being stuck on Kass-McD. Holland has done a poor job getting him key pieces but this is basically sabotage at this point. I would take Mike f***ing Babcock at this point because at least he had the good sense to keep lines that worked together.

 

[TopShelfGloveSide]

When Tippett was asked about putting Pulju on the first line, he said “we’ll see”.

So I’m guessing the line-up will look like this.

RNH-McDavid-Kassian
Kahun-Drai-Yamamoto
Ennis-Turris-Pulju
Neal-Shore-Archibald

 

[subnet]

Article 12: Any discretionary rulings on the Oilers for major penalties, trades or signings of players, coaches or executives, the NHL shall automatically strip Edmonton of at least one 3rd-round pick, and subsequently give that pick to the Calgary Flames. At the leagues discretion, additional 3rd-round picks may also be randomly given to Calgary.

 

[subnet]

Article 13: Any winless rookie goaltender playing against the Oilers shall automatically record a shutout and first win of their career.