Captain Dave Poulin
Imaginary Cat
Welcome To The 20/21 Flyers Board NHL Mega-Mock Draft Reboot, PHASE ELEVEN! Part One!
We have now arrived at PHASE ELEVEN!, and as far as you know, everything is both the same and completely different. Holy f***ing f***, my typing is shit. It’s hard to keep your shit together when you are shaking from Grim Dawn withdrawal, AKA GrimDrawnal. This game makes you a crackhead. Stay off the pipe, stay in school. Or don’t. Why should I care? Why should I care?
I have just enough strength left to say … blert. Whatever.
IMPORTANT RATIONAL STUFF
- Team Spite - the thing that you reserve the right to hate. You are going to trample all over my human rights by claiming these things, but I will learn to live with it.
- Team Rental Pick-Up - The hockey player (who no one already has) that you pick up at the trade deadline to put your team over the top. As far as you know, the trade deadline in the Quackverse could be 17 months after the end of the season and is connected to some sort of time portal, etc.
- Team One Hit Wonder - there are only, like, a billion possible choices here. You can interpret this as you want, but league management reserves the right of first, second, and infinite refusal if you act like a tool about it. But just as an example, you can't choose "I Ran," by Flock of Seagulls, because they also came out with "Space Age Love Song." The latter would be a perfect song for all of us in the Quackverse, but sadly it's not eligible. It's just as well, because I would cut the bitch who tried to take it from me.
- Team Athlete - No Duplicates, which means you have to check the football draft if you are choosing a football player. Remember, as always, that you are taking this person into a new universe, so he or she should probably serve some sort of function for your franchise(s).
- Team Giveaway - the thingie you give fans for being awesome fans. This one is for your main QHL team.
- Team Olympic Event - Has to be an actual Olympic event, past or present.
- Team Bread - The bread you are bringing with you. This is the only bread you will have for the rest of eternity, not including that bread which is part of other choices. As far as duplicates go, don’t worry if your bread is part of someone’s previous sandwich/dish - we are just concerned with not having duplicates within this category.
- Team Podcast - The only podcast you will be able to listen to out there. “Good Cap, Bad Crap” is definitely an option, but otherwise they should actually exist here on Mirth Prime, the joyful toilet planet, IRL. Whatever you choose, make sure you give the f***ers some "honest feedback."
- Team Cheese - The only cheese, etc. Same sort of thing as the bread.
- Team Theme Park - The only theme park you can bring with you. Don’t ask me how we are fitting these motherf***ers on the [REDACTED]. Can be real or fictional, but if it is fictional it has to “exist” somewhere in fiction.
- Team Fortress/Lair/HQ - give it a name that I can put in a box, and give it a desciption so we can start planning how to breach its defense. Make it up or take something existing in the real world (the shithole) or in fiction.
- Team Home Ice Advantage Video Game Boost - These were HC’s choices, and this one is especially great. Check out this link for the things Madden put out this year: Boosts. Those are just examples. Pick a videogame-style boost you get at home when they turn our shit into a videogame. It has to be f***ing reasonable, OK? Just remember that hockey is but one aspect of the shit we are doing out there in the yonder beyond.
IMPORTANT NOTE!
We in the league office reserve the right to halt this phase, do something else, and then re-start this phase at our discretion, so don’t give yourself diarhhea or act all shocked if that happens or doesn’t happen or something else happens. We are outside the Matrix now, so all bets are off.
Remember: “Chaos” is not the same thing as “Havoc.” Engage in the former, not the latter. We have a whole ton of stuff left over for PHASE TWELVE! so don’t worry if categories you wanted aren’t in here - I will champion them later with the boss.
For the first round, we will give everyone 12 hours to get revved up again - for all the succeeding rounds, it will be six hours. The daily clock starts at 8 a.m. and ends at 10 p.m., all times Eastern. This is a MONGOOSE DRAFT, which is the same functionally as a snake draft, but isn’t named after the turboc*** of the animal world.
Don't forget to tag the next person in your pick post AND send a PM.
DRAFT ORDER
Lord Defect - St. Paul Stay Pufts
DancingPanther - Providence Platypi
Strawberry Fields - Vancouver Beavers
Striiker - Allentown Attack
Captain Dave Poulin - Quebec Lapins
BiggE - Jacksonville Methgators
BernieParent - Tampa Bay FireSticks
Flytimmo - Boston FlyTimmos
Young Sandwich - Montreal Sexpos
ajgoal - Los Angeles Whalers
JojoTheWhale - New York M.A.D. Cats
pit - Chicago Chimpanzees
Hurricane28 - Virginia Beach Surge
Magua - Honolulu Ghibli
Hollywood Couturier - Las Vegas Desert Ducks
GKJ - Philadelphia Villains
Rebels57 - Portland Fog
mja - New Jersey Flaming Zeppelins
Chuck Downie - Les Comiques de Saint-Louis-du-Ha!Ha!
Lord Defect - St. Paul Stay Pufts
DancingPanther - Providence Platypi
Strawberry Fields - Vancouver Beavers
Striiker - Allentown Attack
Captain Dave Poulin - Quebec Lapins
BiggE - Jacksonville Methgators
BernieParent - Tampa Bay FireSticks
Flytimmo - Boston FlyTimmos
Young Sandwich - Montreal Sexpos
ajgoal - Los Angeles Whalers
JojoTheWhale - New York M.A.D. Cats
pit - Chicago Chimpanzees
Hurricane28 - Virginia Beach Surge
Magua - Honolulu Ghibli
Hollywood Couturier - Las Vegas Desert Ducks
GKJ - Philadelphia Villains
Rebels57 - Portland Fog
mja - New Jersey Flaming Zeppelins
Chuck Downie - Les Comiques de Saint-Louis-du-Ha!Ha!
DON’T FORGET TO STOCK UP FOR CHRISTMAS WITH QUACKVERSE MERCH AND/OR SWAG!
RIVALRIES
| HOST | RIVAL | |
| Allentown Attack | vs | New Jersey Flaming Zeppelins |
| Boston FlyTimmos | vs | Los Angeles Whalers |
| Chicago Chimpanzees | vs | Las Vegas Desert Ducks |
| Honolulu Ghibli | vs | Florida Methgators |
| Jacksonville Methgators | vs | Tampa Bay FireSticks |
| Las Vegas Desert Ducks | vs | Providence Platypi |
| Les Comiques de Saint-Louis-du-Ha!Ha! | vs | Boston FlyTimmos |
| Los Angeles Whalers | vs | New York M.A.D. Cats |
| Montreal Sexpos | vs | Quebec Lapins |
| New Jersey Flaming Zeppelins | vs | Allentown Attack |
| New York M.A.D. Cats | vs | Montreal Sexpos |
| Philadelphia Villains | vs | New York M.A.D. Cats |
| Portland Fog | vs | St. Paul Stay Pufts |
| Providence Platypi | vs | Las Vegas Desert Ducks |
| Quebec Lapins | vs | Montreal Sexpos |
| Seattle Sockeyes | vs | Vancouver Beavers |
| St. Paul Stay Pufts | vs | Quebec Lapins |
| Tampa Bay FireSticks | vs | Jacksonville Methgators |
| Vancouver Beavers | vs | Seattle Sockeyes |
| Virginia Beach Surge | vs | St. Paul Stay Pufts |
NO NAMING NAMES, NO PICK TIPPING, NO ICE CREAM BANTER, NO TWITCH SHIT, SNITCHES GET STITCHES!
LEARN TO F***ING READ!
QUACKVERSE MEGADRAFT LEAGUE OFFICIAL MERCHANDISE
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