I think it would be fitting that Utah gets the pick with Arizona having the worst lottery luck in the current draft era. I took a deep dive to find all the winners in since the draft began in 1995:
3x Winners:
Edmonton: Hall in 2010, Yakupov in 2012, and some other guy in 2015.
NJ: moving up to 4 to get Larsson in 2011, Hischier in 2017, and Hughes in 2019.
Florida: 2002 (traded down to 3 and still got Bouwmeester), 2003 (traded down again to 3 and got Horton), 2014 to get Ekblad
Chicago: 1999 (moving up from #8 to #4, pick was traded to the Rangers), 2007 to get Kane, 2023 to get Bedard
2x Winners:
NYI: 2000 to get DiPietro and 2009 to get Tavares
Buffalo: 2018 to get Dahlin, 2021 to get Power
1x Winner:
Los Angeles: 1995: moved from 7 to 3 and took Berg
Ottawa: 1996 to take Phillips
Boston: 1997 to take Thornton
San Jose: 1998: won the lottery but TB had the option to switch picks, which they exercised. They drafted Stuart at 3.
Atlanta: 2001 to take Kovalchuk.
Washington: 2004 to get Ovechkin
Pittsburgh: 2005 to get Crosby
St. Louis: 2006 to get Johnson
TB: 2008 to get Stamkos
Colorado: 2013 to get MacKinnon
Toronto: 2016 to get Matthews
Rangers: 2020 to get Lafreniere
Montreal: 2022 to get unquestionably the best #1 since Lemieux, Slafkovsky
Soooo… having spent over an hour at 3 in the morning, I think the moral victory should go to Utah. Though they’ve been a tire fire for the majority of their existence since they left Winnipeg. I think the ranking for who should get the #1 pick should be as follows:
1. Anaheim: They've never won nor have they had the first pick. They've been a credible franchise since joining the league.
2. Columbus: If they'd never drafted first overall I'd give it to them. They did in '03 but they traded up to do so. They've had a miserable existence but not because of a lack of fan support or willingness. They're the lovable losers (unlike the Leafs who are deserving losers).
3. San Jose: The only time they won it they had to give it up. They've been a model franchise; they put good teams together and just were never able to take that last step. They dropped to 3 because they sold off all their assets, got rid of all their best players like bitches and tanked the dishonourable way (unlike us who tanked the honourable way: by just sucking).
4. Utah: They certainly get the sympathy vote given the aforementioned lottery luck. But as also said they were horribly mismanaged and now that they've moved they're like an expansion team. Should Vegas have won the lottery in 2017? It's 4 in the morning, logic doesn't count now. Shut up.
5. Montreal: Yeah yeah, I'm betraying the the tribe blah blah. Fact is we got 1st a few years ago, and have picked first, third, fifth, and at worst 7th this year since 2018. Plus we got a steal when our last dipstick was actually shrewd instead of moronic and drafted a fantastic player with the second last pick of the first round in 2021 (even though he may have been perceived as an a-hole at the time for doing so). We have a lot of assets and many more to come. I'm trying to be fair and objective. Bite me.
6 - 13 Who gives a crap.
14. Buffalo: Screw em. They won in 18 and 20, and have so much talent they can't keep it all. And they STILL suck. Bad enough the league rewarded incompetence with the Oilers (though I guess it's karma since the Oilers play in Edmonton. Gross), don't do it again with these idiots.
15. New Jersey: Screw em hard. They've won and gone first in 17 and 19. They took the next step last year and fell off a cliff this year. They've got top caliber players at each position. They don't deserve it.
16. Chicago: Screw them most, without lube. They got two great players when they won 1st overall. Especially last year when I really wanted Bedard. They were worse than San Jose in their dishonourability (?). Plus nothing happened to Wirtz when he tried to silence two of his own players that were sexually assaulted by HIS staff. Hope he's rotting in hell. New Jersey loses a first round pick for trying to structure Kovalchuk's contract to circumvent the cap (I believe eventually reduced to being the last pick in the first round). Ottawa loses a pick for its role in not relaying information about a NTC. Chicago gives their players a giant middle finger when they were sexually assaulted and they get a fine. *%!@ that. They should lose multiple first rounders and had been forced to sell the team. I guess I have strong feelings about this. They should go down to 4th and draft the biggest bust in the history of the game. Starting next year, they should have the last pick in every round until 2314.
Well, it's 4:30 and this took over two and a half hours. Another great life decision. I started by saying Utah deserved to win the lottery and talked myself into lowering them to fourth. And nobody is probably going to read it anyway, so a great use of my time. I'm real smrt. Goodnight.