Lord Defect
Secretary of Blowtorching
- Nov 13, 2013
- 18,745
- 34,739
Don’t help him. Help me.You should draft [REDACTED]
Don’t help him. Help me.You should draft [REDACTED]
Don’t help him. Help me.
I should have taken him and FORCED him to play Guard.And since we apparently get peak modern players, and he has not retired:
Offensive Tackle: Jason Peters
Looks like I only missed one pick, yes?
I have 30 minutes between meetings, so I'll make this quick.
I'll go with OT Walter Jones, who a former Seahawks coach called the greatest offensive player that he ever coached, despite coaching some of the legit greatest of all time QBs and WRs.
A random, but impressive, set of facts about Jones is that he only allowed 23 sacks and was penalized for holding only 9 times in a 12 year career.
Six time All Pro and 2015 HoF inductee.
Rocking the classic Seahawks threads:
View attachment 433587
I just learned about this guy and would probably have drafted him. Amazing bio.Hey it's me yo boi @Beef Invictus coming in with more football picks. So I was gonna set my team name, location, and jersey with this pick. But I can't help but notice a Legend sitting there. Just not being drafted. And it's someone who ought to be on a team out of principle. So he shall be on mine, because if we finish this without drafting him then we've collectively f***ed up. Thank you for taking Polamalu off my plate so I can do the right thing here.
Sammy Baugh (S)
Sammy Baugh created the modern throwing QB. He came into the league shortly after the modern football itself came into being. Before that, its larger size made throwing it a T H I C C challenge. Prior generations of players rarely bothered much with it, meaning players and coaches in 1937 were still largely of the mindset that throws were more of a panic move in dire straits than a go-to play. It's not hard to find old-timey footage from this era of goofy-ass throwing plays where guys are tossing short passes like they're shooting basketballs for the first time. Then Baugh came in. The guy had learned how to throw tight spirals with a larger ball, so the new ball was EZ mode. He was also amazingly accurate, and very judicious with his pass selection so that no down was wasted with incompletion if it could be avoided; this is remarkable considering in that age, pass interference rules heavily favored defense. Baugh entered the NFL as a throwing tailback and left it as the best QB ever, and also as the first QB as we think of it; he birthed the position. This was a living revolution on the field, and Washington's gunslinging offense was absolutely wild to watch compared to the sport's norm. Two records still stand: Most seasons leading the league in passing (6) and most seasons with lowest interception rate (5). Now leading the league in passing isn't impressive for the reason's I've explained, but having the lowest interception rate considering the state of the game and how much he threw relative to everyone else really demonstrates his effectiveness. He topped out at 70% completion percentage in 1945 and lived just shy of 60% otherwise; trust me, this was impressive. So combine Patrick Mahomes and Alex Smith, I suppose, for a modern comparable.
He also played defense, which is why I'm plopping him at Safety. And he was really good at defense too. Not as good as on offense, but good enough that he basically won entire games on his own at times to a degree no other football player ever had before, ever has since, or ever will. He once had a game where he caught 4 INTs in addition to his 4 TD throws. That is Babe Ruth-tier stuff. He once led the league in passing, punting, and interceptions and that isn't just Babe Ruth-tier, that's being his equal for a season.
@Young Sandwich
I just learned about this guy and would probably have drafted him. Amazing bio.
And you know something is happening here but you don't know what it isLooks like I only missed one pick, yes?
I have 30 minutes between meetings, so I'll make this quick.
I'll go with OT Walter Jones, who a former Seahawks coach called the greatest offensive player that he ever coached, despite coaching some of the legit greatest of all time QBs and WRs.
A random, but impressive, set of facts about Jones is that he only allowed 23 sacks and was penalized for holding only 9 times in a 12 year career.
Six time All Pro and 2015 HoF inductee.
Rocking the classic Seahawks threads:
View attachment 433587
And you know something is happening here but you don't know what it is
Do you, Walter Jones?
Walter Jones and me
Stumbling through the barrio
And you know something is happening here but you don't know what it is
Do you, Walter Jones?
Don't we all thoughMy wife is going through a Dylan phase this week. She does that. She'll latch onto a specific artist and then that's all she listens to for that week. It could be Dylan, Nina Simone, Beyonce, Radiohead, Elliott Smith, Neil Young...really anyone at all. The worst is when it's one particular song that she just plays on repeat. The month or so she was obsessed with Justin Bieber's Love Yourself may have been the lowest point in our marriage.
Edit: Also, boy did I regret watching that Bee Gees doc with her. The next two weeks were rough.
Don't we all though
Look at this guy, drafting a team of murderers and believing that the spirits of nature around his team will be benevolent.OK. Time to establish my team's identity.
NAME: Meat
Location: Bumpass, Virginia
Jerseys: 1994 Chicago Bears Alternates
You may ask, "Who the hell puts a team in Bumpass? The place is literally two houses and a defunct post office." And to that I say, "They also have a Dollar General."
I will tell you why. Many seasons ago, I watched a documentary that taught me a lot about sports and especially about stadium location selection. It's called Field of Dreams. In this documentary, a mysterious demon voice from the corn tells the apocalyptic postal worker from Waterworld that if he builds "it," they will come. The fool believes the demon wants a baseball field. Darth Vader is in this documentary, voicing James Earl Jones; which should have told Mailman that his fate was doom. The mailman builds a baseball field and invites spirits from the corn to come play sports. This is stupid. Everyone knows no good comes from spirits emerging from corn. They show up and pretend to be baseballers. They hate it. They lead Mailman on to let him lower his guard. After the credits roll, the spirits flood forth from the corn and shred his family to ribbons while he watches, then they force him to watch as they peel his belly to make a football. They wanted a football field all along and this absolute idiot gave them a diamond. No wonder Waterworld flopped.
A voice from the small strip of woods behind me has told me to build it so that they will come. I have learned from this documentary that they lust for football. I have built this field in Bumpass, because land is cheap and it is named Bumpass. Notably, there is no corn in Bumpass, so I can trust that the Legendary NFLers who show up to play for my team are wood spirits (Benevolent) instead of soul-mangling corn spirits (Malevolent). Additionally, I'll be able to charge fans a fortune for camping space because this place is nowhere and there's no place to stay. The Dollar General can apply for a beer license.
@Captain Dave Poulin