NFL Mega-Mock Draft Reboot - Discussion / Draft Thread - ISOLATED PHASE! Part One!

CanadianFlyer88

Knublin' PPs
Feb 12, 2004
42,549
51,297
Van City
Looks like I only missed one pick, yes?

I have 30 minutes between meetings, so I'll make this quick.

I'll go with OT Walter Jones, who a former Seahawks coach called the greatest offensive player that he ever coached, despite coaching some of the legit greatest of all time QBs and WRs.

A random, but impressive, set of facts about Jones is that he only allowed 23 sacks and was penalized for holding only 9 times in a 12 year career. :amazed:

Six time All Pro and 2015 HoF inductee.

Rocking the classic Seahawks threads:

e7ca99056fd91c21e9a65007108dfc24.jpg
 

Captain Dave Poulin

Imaginary Cat
Apr 30, 2015
68,015
199,721
Tokyo, JP
Looks like I only missed one pick, yes?

I have 30 minutes between meetings, so I'll make this quick.

I'll go with OT Walter Jones, who a former Seahawks coach called the greatest offensive player that he ever coached, despite coaching some of the legit greatest of all time QBs and WRs.

A random, but impressive, set of facts about Jones is that he only allowed 23 sacks and was penalized for holding only 9 times in a 12 year career. :amazed:

Six time All Pro and 2015 HoF inductee.

Rocking the classic Seahawks threads:

View attachment 433587

Great pick. He was awesome.
 

CanadianFlyer88

Knublin' PPs
Feb 12, 2004
42,549
51,297
Van City
Hey it's me yo boi @Beef Invictus coming in with more football picks. So I was gonna set my team name, location, and jersey with this pick. But I can't help but notice a Legend sitting there. Just not being drafted. And it's someone who ought to be on a team out of principle. So he shall be on mine, because if we finish this without drafting him then we've collectively f***ed up. Thank you for taking Polamalu off my plate so I can do the right thing here.

baugh600.jpg


Sammy Baugh (S)

Sammy Baugh created the modern throwing QB. He came into the league shortly after the modern football itself came into being. Before that, its larger size made throwing it a T H I C C challenge. Prior generations of players rarely bothered much with it, meaning players and coaches in 1937 were still largely of the mindset that throws were more of a panic move in dire straits than a go-to play. It's not hard to find old-timey footage from this era of goofy-ass throwing plays where guys are tossing short passes like they're shooting basketballs for the first time. Then Baugh came in. The guy had learned how to throw tight spirals with a larger ball, so the new ball was EZ mode. He was also amazingly accurate, and very judicious with his pass selection so that no down was wasted with incompletion if it could be avoided; this is remarkable considering in that age, pass interference rules heavily favored defense. Baugh entered the NFL as a throwing tailback and left it as the best QB ever, and also as the first QB as we think of it; he birthed the position. This was a living revolution on the field, and Washington's gunslinging offense was absolutely wild to watch compared to the sport's norm. Two records still stand: Most seasons leading the league in passing (6) and most seasons with lowest interception rate (5). Now leading the league in passing isn't impressive for the reason's I've explained, but having the lowest interception rate considering the state of the game and how much he threw relative to everyone else really demonstrates his effectiveness. He topped out at 70% completion percentage in 1945 and lived just shy of 60% otherwise; trust me, this was impressive. So combine Patrick Mahomes and Alex Smith, I suppose, for a modern comparable.

He also played defense, which is why I'm plopping him at Safety. And he was really good at defense too. Not as good as on offense, but good enough that he basically won entire games on his own at times to a degree no other football player ever had before, ever has since, or ever will. He once had a game where he caught 4 INTs in addition to his 4 TD throws. That is Babe Ruth-tier stuff. He once led the league in passing, punting, and interceptions and that isn't just Babe Ruth-tier, that's being his equal for a season.

@Young Sandwich
I just learned about this guy and would probably have drafted him. Amazing bio.
 

Young Sandwich

Trout & Hockey
Sponsor
Dec 13, 2015
5,705
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We're making this selection based off Jojo's neck rule. This man is a first ballot thick neck Hall of Famer. Somehow he is still playing at 39 years old. For the 2010s decade, he allowed the lowest rate of pressure of any offensive tackle (3.7%) - just ahead of Joe Thomas (3.9%). Pretty damn good company. Pretty damn thick neck. He was drafted as a guard and that's where he'll play for us.

i


Guard - Andrew Whitworth

@Beef Invictus
 

DancingPanther

Foundational Titan
Sponsor
Jun 19, 2018
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Looks like I only missed one pick, yes?

I have 30 minutes between meetings, so I'll make this quick.

I'll go with OT Walter Jones, who a former Seahawks coach called the greatest offensive player that he ever coached, despite coaching some of the legit greatest of all time QBs and WRs.

A random, but impressive, set of facts about Jones is that he only allowed 23 sacks and was penalized for holding only 9 times in a 12 year career. :amazed:

Six time All Pro and 2015 HoF inductee.

Rocking the classic Seahawks threads:

View attachment 433587
And you know something is happening here but you don't know what it is
Do you, Walter Jones?



Walter Jones and me
Stumbling through the barrio
 

CanadianFlyer88

Knublin' PPs
Feb 12, 2004
42,549
51,297
Van City
And you know something is happening here but you don't know what it is
Do you, Walter Jones?



Walter Jones and me
Stumbling through the barrio
danny devito no.gif


I was at a summer concert series in Toronto in 2006ish, where the Counting Crows were the headline band. They played for around 90 minutes and didn't play Mr. Jones. The crowd was not impressed. :laugh:
 

Beef Invictus

Revolutionary Positivity
Dec 21, 2009
127,494
164,354
Armored Train
OK. Time to establish my team's identity.

NAME: Meat
Location: Bumpass, Virginia

Bumpass%2C_VA.jpg


Jerseys: 1994 Chicago Bears Alternates

GettyImages-883607056.jpg


You may ask, "Who the hell puts a team in Bumpass? The place is literally two houses and a defunct post office." And to that I say, "They also have a Dollar General."

I will tell you why. Many seasons ago, I watched a documentary that taught me a lot about sports and especially about stadium location selection. It's called Field of Dreams. In this documentary, a mysterious demon voice from the corn tells the apocalyptic postal worker from Waterworld that if he builds "it," they will come. The fool believes the demon wants a baseball field. Darth Vader is in this documentary, voicing James Earl Jones; which should have told Mailman that his fate was doom. The mailman builds a baseball field and invites spirits from the corn to come play sports. This is stupid. Everyone knows no good comes from spirits emerging from corn. They show up and pretend to be baseballers. They hate it. They lead Mailman on to let him lower his guard. After the credits roll, the spirits flood forth from the corn and shred his family to ribbons while he watches, then they force him to watch as they peel his belly to make a football. They wanted a football field all along and this absolute idiot gave them a diamond. No wonder Waterworld flopped.

A voice from the small strip of woods behind me has told me to build it so that they will come. I have learned from this documentary that they lust for football. I have built this field in Bumpass, because land is cheap and it is named Bumpass. Notably, there is no corn in Bumpass, so I can trust that the Legendary NFLers who show up to play for my team are wood spirits (Benevolent) instead of soul-mangling corn spirits (Malevolent). Additionally, I'll be able to charge fans a fortune for camping space because this place is nowhere and there's no place to stay. The Dollar General can apply for a beer license.

@Captain Dave Poulin
 
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Captain Dave Poulin

Imaginary Cat
Apr 30, 2015
68,015
199,721
Tokyo, JP
I'm nabbing possibly - POSSIBLY - the best current defensive player still on the board. Another LSU product who came up clutch. I wish he hadn't, but ultimately I don't care about the Bucs much one way or the other, so it's fine. Here's a blurb.

"In his first two NFL seasons, the former LSU Tiger has posted a combined 231 tackles (155 solo), 11.5 sacks, 19 tackles for loss, five fumble recoveries, four forced fumbles, an interception and 21 quarterback hits in 28 regular season games. He is coming off of a 9.5-sack season and a postseason run that saw him tally 27 tackles (11 solo), three tackles for loss, two interceptions and two fumble recoveries on his way to earning a Super Bowl ring. In just two short years, he has become one of the biggest leaders and playmakers on Tampa Bay’s defense, often serving as a spark all over the field."

(not citing sources in these because they're secret, and no one cares in here)

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LB - Devin White

@CanadianFlyer88
 

mja

Everything was beautiful, and nothing hurt
Jan 7, 2005
12,577
28,809
Lucy the Elephant's Belly
And you know something is happening here but you don't know what it is
Do you, Walter Jones?

My wife is going through a Dylan phase this week. She does that. She'll latch onto a specific artist and then that's all she listens to for that week. It could be Dylan, Nina Simone, Beyonce, Radiohead, Elliott Smith, Neil Young...really anyone at all. The worst is when it's one particular song that she just plays on repeat. The month or so she was obsessed with Justin Bieber's Love Yourself may have been the lowest point in our marriage.

Edit: Also, boy did I regret watching that Bee Gees doc with her. The next two weeks were rough.
 
Last edited:

DancingPanther

Foundational Titan
Sponsor
Jun 19, 2018
31,591
69,404
My wife is going through a Dylan phase this week. She does that. She'll latch onto a specific artist and then that's all she listens to for that week. It could be Dylan, Nina Simone, Beyonce, Radiohead, Elliott Smith, Neil Young...really anyone at all. The worst is when it's one particular song that she just plays on repeat. The month or so she was obsessed with Justin Bieber's Love Yourself may have been the lowest point in our marriage.

Edit: Also, boy did I regret watching that Bee Gees doc with her. The next two weeks were rough.
Don't we all though
 

JojoTheWhale

CORN BOY
May 22, 2008
33,325
103,986
Sorry for the delay. Had to crash for a super early work call.

FLEX (DT) Vince Wilfork

DAme0V5XsAEtYj2.jpg


I changed up my defensive scheme when I saw multiple teams running I Formation bases. All of a sudden, a run-stopping DT became a priority. Because this is a collection of athletic freaks, there was only one possible answer for me. Despite his ridiculous size, Wilfork is one of the quickest DTs off the snap to ever play.



@ajgoal Djisjskskdlsmsmw
 

CanadianFlyer88

Knublin' PPs
Feb 12, 2004
42,549
51,297
Van City
OK. Time to establish my team's identity.

NAME: Meat
Location: Bumpass, Virginia

Bumpass%2C_VA.jpg


Jerseys: 1994 Chicago Bears Alternates

GettyImages-883607056.jpg


You may ask, "Who the hell puts a team in Bumpass? The place is literally two houses and a defunct post office." And to that I say, "They also have a Dollar General."

I will tell you why. Many seasons ago, I watched a documentary that taught me a lot about sports and especially about stadium location selection. It's called Field of Dreams. In this documentary, a mysterious demon voice from the corn tells the apocalyptic postal worker from Waterworld that if he builds "it," they will come. The fool believes the demon wants a baseball field. Darth Vader is in this documentary, voicing James Earl Jones; which should have told Mailman that his fate was doom. The mailman builds a baseball field and invites spirits from the corn to come play sports. This is stupid. Everyone knows no good comes from spirits emerging from corn. They show up and pretend to be baseballers. They hate it. They lead Mailman on to let him lower his guard. After the credits roll, the spirits flood forth from the corn and shred his family to ribbons while he watches, then they force him to watch as they peel his belly to make a football. They wanted a football field all along and this absolute idiot gave them a diamond. No wonder Waterworld flopped.

A voice from the small strip of woods behind me has told me to build it so that they will come. I have learned from this documentary that they lust for football. I have built this field in Bumpass, because land is cheap and it is named Bumpass. Notably, there is no corn in Bumpass, so I can trust that the Legendary NFLers who show up to play for my team are wood spirits (Benevolent) instead of soul-mangling corn spirits (Malevolent). Additionally, I'll be able to charge fans a fortune for camping space because this place is nowhere and there's no place to stay. The Dollar General can apply for a beer license.

@Captain Dave Poulin
Look at this guy, drafting a team of murderers and believing that the spirits of nature around his team will be benevolent. :shakehead
 

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