Motivation

[LarKing]

Really, really been struggling with this lately. Started working out a few years back during the summer when basically the only things I could do was work and work out. I was super into it and probably the happiest I had ever been due to this. Then college started again and while I didn't have as much time to be working out 5 days a week like I wanted to, I still did a decent job of getting in 2-4 workouts a week to stay on top of it with what little time I had. Summer came again and I was a lot more into it. I was definitely in the best shape of my life and seemed to be progressing well almost every workout. Then college started again and I have barely worked out at all. A lot of that due to being even more busy, but also a lot of that due to having no motivation to work out anymore. It's like all the excitement and energy I used to have just thinking about working out is gone now and I really have to force myself to work out, and often that satisfying feeling I used to get doesn't come because I feel so weak compared to where I used to be.

What does everyone here do for motivation? Now I know after like 20 days of working out, it'll be a habit again for me. I'm just really struggling to find the motivation to work out for three weeks again though. Maybe just typing this out will help me, but I'm wondering what some of you do when you just can't seem to find any motivation anymore?

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[jorbjorb]

Try working out directly after work/school before you come home. I find if I go home I really won't want to go to the gym. Some days it feels like such a drag to go to the gym after work but about 5 minutes into the workout it doesn't feel so bad.

 

[FLYLine27*]

Sometimes I get motivated by looking at some very fit girls on the internet and say to myself, "Damn i want one of those, I need to workout more".

 

[Ozz]

You can keep in shape with 1-2 days per week. It's all in the quality of your efforts, not the amount of them. There were times when I had nearly no time to work out, but as a diehard lifter I had to drag myself in at least once per week to do something and feel good mentally. It was fine for maintenance, I'd put my routine then up against most people's usual routines.

When such feelings come about for me, I always think the same types of things:
a) I didn't put all that time in over all these years, to give up and lose it all
b) the average person quits; surely I can be better than average even when I feel out of it
c) I trust if I get in/get out it'll do me well both physically and mentally

There's all sorts of reasons why one might want to stop, and some of them are just fine. Not everyone keeps going nor wants to forever. If you want to keep in shape somewhat, get in there as often as you 'can' and do whatever. If you REALLY are worried about losing strength, gains, physique, etc. then see my above thoughts. If you're not worried enough to make sure you get in the gym come hell or high water, then you know what to expect. You can always take a little time off and then ease back in. Do 1-2x per week until that's familiar territory, then ramp it up. Lower volume & increase frequency, perhaps, if time is not an issue as much as motivation. That can help tremendously!

I like tough love for myself, it's always done me well. I had to all but kill myself to add weight the first few years when I began, and it takes a lot to keep it on. If you really do want to keep yourself going, perhaps that'll be helpful. Not many people like to or will give it to you straight, but maybe you can do that for yourself.

 

[iconoclast22]

Sometimes you just need to switch it up (I don't know if you did this before). Ultimately, do something you enjoy. I'm a full time college student, have a full time job, and a full time wife with a full time one month old infant. There's still time to run and workout. Sometimes it's not all of the time I would like, but there's time, and I've stayed in shape. My motivation is that I enjoy doing it. Especially when it gets warm outside, I take my training outdoors and start hitting a bunch of calisthenics and old school stuff like pounding with sledgehammers, carrying sandbags, running, jumping, throwing, etc. Find some way to make it fun, man. And if you can't, find something else.

One good program that doesn't take forever and has you lifting 3 days per week is in a book called Built for Show by Nate Green. He gives you 8 workouts to run through the seasons.

If calisthenics sound cool (I love them cause you can do them anywhere, anytime, and there's freedom in that) check out Convict Conditioning by Paul Wade and a slew of titles from Al Kavadlo and his brother Danny. It's harder (and more rewarding) than you might think.

 

[LarKing]

Thanks guys I appreciate it. Some good thoughts presented. I think a big part of it for me is not only that it's not habit anymore, I've also started eating like **** again the past few months. I don't have that extra energy really anymore so getting up to start working out is so much harder. The part about not putting in all this work just to quit really struck me. Pretty sure I could barely do 15 lb curls when I started lol. Now I'd like to think I'm pretty above average in strength for my weight but need to get back at it again.

 

[blue425]

You can keep in shape with 1-2 days per week. It's all in the quality of your efforts, not the amount of them.

Truth.

I am a huge proponent of quality over quantity and lots of rest in the form of days off and getting enough sleep.
You should find yourself more motivated if you cut down the amount you are doing, and with less work you will have more energy to devote to your workouts.

Not including stretching I spend an average of 90 minutes per week working out.

 

[madvie]

I get motivation from being surrounded by stronger people and wanting to be like that. It makes me feel good to hold my own when lifting, and it makes me feel good that a lot of things in my daily life as easier as a result.

Flexing is also fun, ha.

 

[Crease]

Find your why.

 

[Duck Off]

Really, really been struggling with this lately. Started working out a few years back during the summer when basically the only things I could do was work and work out. I was super into it and probably the happiest I had ever been due to this. Then college started again and while I didn't have as much time to be working out 5 days a week like I wanted to, I still did a decent job of getting in 2-4 workouts a week to stay on top of it with what little time I had. Summer came again and I was a lot more into it. I was definitely in the best shape of my life and seemed to be progressing well almost every workout. Then college started again and I have barely worked out at all. A lot of that due to being even more busy, but also a lot of that due to having no motivation to work out anymore. It's like all the excitement and energy I used to have just thinking about working out is gone now and I really have to force myself to work out, and often that satisfying feeling I used to get doesn't come because I feel so weak compared to where I used to be.

What does everyone here do for motivation? Now I know after like 20 days of working out, it'll be a habit again for me. I'm just really struggling to find the motivation to work out for three weeks again though. Maybe just typing this out will help me, but I'm wondering what some of you do when you just can't seem to find any motivation anymore?

I apologize in advance if this comes across as too... "deep":

Not trying to make you feel worse, but it will only get more difficult as you get older. Coming from someone who's now 30, married, with children, etc.; it's going to get harder. Primarily due to time constraints. I thought I was busy when I was 20, but honestly I just didn't know what "busy" meant.

Unfortunately as everyone who's my age or older already knows, your body only gets more difficult with age. I never ate good, period, in my life. Yet, I was always a pretty ripped kid. I'm short (5'6), and I've always had a "stocky" build. I can bulk very quickly, but my height and build made it hard for my abs to show consistently. In my peak physique stage (17ish), I could see my 6 pack when I flexed, but I always had a bit too much fat because my diet was ****. I didn't change my diet, and I stopped lifting in my early 20's and boom, I'm 27 and 210 lbs. Looked and felt like ****. Decided to get back into it a few years ago for a few reasons:

1. I felt like ****. It killed my confidence. I was overweight and I felt and acted like it.
2. My mother had breast cancer and my father had quadruple bypass heart surgery. So basically, with the history in my family, I wanted to get healthy for my son to show a good example.
3. My wife. My wife has always told me she'll love me no matter how I look, and I do believe her. She's one of the fortunate ones who doesn't work out, but she just has a ridiculously good natural physique. No **** on this: I literally heard several people say "he must be wealthy" when we were out alone (and no, not wealthy at all, especially then). So despite me not fearing my wife would leave me or love me any less, I wanted to be more attractive for her. Let's not kid ourselves either, married, girlfriend, whatever; every guy wants other women to look at him and desire him. It's not wrong, it's just natural. I wanted that back.

I think the key isn't finding motivation specifically. It's finding a balance of what makes you happy. Eating perfectly clean and spending hours in a gym is not happiness for me (I do wish it was). even if it makes me look awesome. I now work out about 4 days a week for 30 minutes. I don't eat awful, but I definitely don't eat clean. I now hover in the 172-177 lb range. I'm not "ripped", as in my abs don't show consistently, but not to sound arrogant; it's obvious I workout. I have to do presentations at work sometimes or speak to a group, and I catch people looking at my arms, shoulders, etc., and yes it's very empowering. My wife will deny it non stop, but I'm not stupid; it's not a coincidence that her sex drive has increased since my change, so there's that benefit too.

I think if someone continually has issues with motivation, they're probably doing too much. It will only get more difficult as you get older. Find a balance/life style that is healthy but enjoyable. Something that's helped me a lot is intermittent fasting. Helps with some of my bad eating habits.

So to answer your question: If I had to answer; what's my motivation? I'd say it's my health, confidence, and children's view of me. I don't want them to see Daddy being okay with being a fat slot, but I also want them to see Daddy enjoying himself too. It's not motivation though; it's happiness. Find that balance that makes you happy. Be sure to remember that the balance you will find will change as you get older (marriage, children, job, etc... as reasons why).

hope this helps, and sorry again if it's preachy or too deep.

 

[Ozz]

^It's all definitely about finding a happy balance. I either said it in here or in a similar, recent thread, but my days of hardcore bodybuilding are long gone and I'm happier for it overall. I do more things that bring me more happiness AND still get to lift. I just don't go nuts on my time in the gym (45-60 min, 3-4x per week tops) nor fret too much about my nutrition.


I'm 35 and have zero issue getting into the gym with a wife, kid, and even when I was traveling/away from home for work 4 days per week every week (actually, that helped because I was on the road w/no distractions, haha), and running a side business on my Fri-Sun time at home! It's just a matter of making time; if anything the hard part will come down to deciding to hit the gym or taking an extra hour or so of REST because you're so exhausted from whatever life is throwing at you. That's the hard part, 24hr. gyms can be found easily and I never had to bother with one. I do know people that rely on them, though, and may God bless 'em for being up at those insane hours

I'm sort of trying/sort of just busting ass and letting what happens happen, but I'm approaching my best-ever overall physique! I dropped playing hockey from 3 to 2x per week, added an extra lifting day, and my gains just exploded. Sure didn't happen that way in my 20s! Maybe this slower metabolism thing will be a savoir for me since it was my bane until my late 20s when I curbed it all back. Anyway, sheer mass aside, I'm almost as good as ever short of the torturous cutting to get shredded for a short while like I used to do. And I'm doing it with as much junk food as I want, thanks to all the skating I'm doing and working it off. It's not keeping me lean, but it's not hurting. Happy medium! It's invaluable, and a lack of it can break you completely as far as motivation is concerned.

 

[LarKing]

I apologize in advance if this comes across as too... "deep":

Not trying to make you feel worse, but it will only get more difficult as you get older. Coming from someone who's now 30, married, with children, etc.; it's going to get harder. Primarily due to time constraints. I thought I was busy when I was 20, but honestly I just didn't know what "busy" meant.

Unfortunately as everyone who's my age or older already knows, your body only gets more difficult with age. I never ate good, period, in my life. Yet, I was always a pretty ripped kid. I'm short (5'6), and I've always had a "stocky" build. I can bulk very quickly, but my height and build made it hard for my abs to show consistently. In my peak physique stage (17ish), I could see my 6 pack when I flexed, but I always had a bit too much fat because my diet was ****. I didn't change my diet, and I stopped lifting in my early 20's and boom, I'm 27 and 210 lbs. Looked and felt like ****. Decided to get back into it a few years ago for a few reasons:

1. I felt like ****. It killed my confidence. I was overweight and I felt and acted like it.
2. My mother had breast cancer and my father had quadruple bypass heart surgery. So basically, with the history in my family, I wanted to get healthy for my son to show a good example.
3. My wife. My wife has always told me she'll love me no matter how I look, and I do believe her. She's one of the fortunate ones who doesn't work out, but she just has a ridiculously good natural physique. No **** on this: I literally heard several people say "he must be wealthy" when we were out alone (and no, not wealthy at all, especially then). So despite me not fearing my wife would leave me or love me any less, I wanted to be more attractive for her. Let's not kid ourselves either, married, girlfriend, whatever; every guy wants other women to look at him and desire him. It's not wrong, it's just natural. I wanted that back.

I think the key isn't finding motivation specifically. It's finding a balance of what makes you happy. Eating perfectly clean and spending hours in a gym is not happiness for me (I do wish it was). even if it makes me look awesome. I now work out about 4 days a week for 30 minutes. I don't eat awful, but I definitely don't eat clean. I now hover in the 172-177 lb range. I'm not "ripped", as in my abs don't show consistently, but not to sound arrogant; it's obvious I workout. I have to do presentations at work sometimes or speak to a group, and I catch people looking at my arms, shoulders, etc., and yes it's very empowering. My wife will deny it non stop, but I'm not stupid; it's not a coincidence that her sex drive has increased since my change, so there's that benefit too.

I think if someone continually has issues with motivation, they're probably doing too much. It will only get more difficult as you get older. Find a balance/life style that is healthy but enjoyable. Something that's helped me a lot is intermittent fasting. Helps with some of my bad eating habits.

So to answer your question: If I had to answer; what's my motivation? I'd say it's my health, confidence, and children's view of me. I don't want them to see Daddy being okay with being a fat slot, but I also want them to see Daddy enjoying himself too. It's not motivation though; it's happiness. Find that balance that makes you happy. Be sure to remember that the balance you will find will change as you get older (marriage, children, job, etc... as reasons why).

hope this helps, and sorry again if it's preachy or too deep.

I seriously doubt that haha considering I'm basically working full time, attending college full time, and involved in multiple clubs. It's not so much just the having time thing though, it's having time that is good for working out. I often have nights where I have to stay up pretty late to catch up on homework and go to work early the next morning, then classes, etc. Barely have the energy to get up the stairs to my room after that, yet alone work out. Then I fall asleep early and have to play the same game the next night. It's a vicious cycle really. Also, my eating schedule is so all over the place. I often go far too long between meals and I don't want to work out on an empty stomach or right after eating.

I think it's pretty solid advice though. Balance is key. I need to stop looking for every excuse possible and find every reason possible to really get back at it. My willpower is nowhere near what it used to be the past few years before this one, and I need to work on that again.

 

[Duck Off]

I'm 35 and have zero issue getting into the gym with a wife, kid, and even when I was traveling/away from home for work 4 days per week every week (actually, that helped because I was on the road w/no distractions, haha), and running a side business on my Fri-Sun time at home! It's just a matter of making time; if anything the hard part will come down to deciding to hit the gym or taking an extra hour or so of REST because you're so exhausted from whatever life is throwing at you. That's the hard part, 24hr. gyms can be found easily and I never had to bother with one. I do know people that rely on them, though, and may God bless 'em for being up at those insane hours

You're fortunate. I will say that I could get up at 5AM and go to the gym every day if I desired, but I've always had some mental block about working out in the mornings. I love working out in the evenings but I struggle to find consistent time. Soccer practices, tutoring, simply spending time with my family. Wife and I both work full time.

When I travelled, I had more time for gym as well.

You're right, it is about making time though. I was going in evening but I didn't have much time with my wife or son after work because of it. Wife works weekends. Once sports and tutoring started, it became almost impossible to have set schedule to get to gym. All about the balance as you said.

I seriously doubt that haha considering I'm basically working full time, attending college full time, and involved in multiple clubs. It's not so much just the having time thing though, it's having time that is good for working out. I often have nights where I have to stay up pretty late to catch up on homework and go to work early the next morning, then classes, etc. Barely have the energy to get up the stairs to my room after that, yet alone work out. Then I fall asleep early and have to play the same game the next night. It's a vicious cycle really. Also, my eating schedule is so all over the place. I often go far too long between meals and I don't want to work out on an empty stomach or right after eating. .

I was in college (full time), worked full time, had a son unexpectedly (who was born with autism), and had a mother who I was helping during her breast cancer. All when I was 21. Yes, it was a busy time, but I think if you're expecting your schedule to just free up when you're older, you're in for a surprise. I thought same thing. Some things may get easier, but I absolutely don't have more free time than I did then.

A lot variables though. Examples include: marriage (if your spouse works, how much time you like to spend together, etc.) Children (It's more time consuming when they get older because they start doing different activities. This makes it difficult for me to find a set schedule for gym after work). Career, etc.

Not trying to say you're wrong or anything like that, but just giving some advice as I thought exact same thing when I was in my early 20's.

I think it's pretty solid advice though. Balance is key. I need to stop looking for every excuse possible and find every reason possible to really get back at it. My willpower is nowhere near what it used to be the past few years before this one, and I need to work on that again.

For me it was finding out what I loved, hated, and could tolerate. I despise running so I don't do it anymore. It became a chore to want to do it. I love to lift so I enjoy getting to do that. I believe everyone should do some cardio for their heart (see above about my father's quadruple bypass). What I didn't hate or could tolerate is swimming. I swim once every week or every other week.

IMO, if you're doing things you don't simply enjoy, motivation will just become more difficult as time goes on.

 

[Ozz]

You're fortunate. I will say that I could get up at 5AM and go to the gym every day if I desired, but I've always had some mental block about working out in the mornings. I love working out in the evenings but I struggle to find consistent time. Soccer practices, tutoring, simply spending time with my family. Wife and I both work full time.

When I travelled, I had more time for gym as well.

You're right, it is about making time though. I was going in evening but I didn't have much time with my wife or son after work because of it. Wife works weekends. Once sports and tutoring started, it became almost impossible to have set schedule to get to gym. All about the balance as you said.

I certainly am, I usually either work completely from home or a mix of home/in-office. When I have to go in, I'm able to leave early enough to still work the gym into my usual time. By the time I get home, my wife has our son (2) fed & settled, and he's willing to entertain me He goes to bed shortly after that, so while I miss 20-30 min. with him I get 30-40 after the "coming home rituals" and put him to bed. Can't hate on that too much, I suppose.


I definitely tip my hat to those who have multiple kids, jobs that don't allow flex time like that, fewer "free" hours, etc. and still get into the gym. What's most impressive is the ones who are usually the most into it have the worst schedules otherwise. I suppose it's one of those things where they thrive among chaos. I've been there at times as well, and once you get going it's just a whirlwind of sticking to whatever is on the calendar and getting it done or assuming failure and moving along.

Sounds like you know the deal though, and once you're ready to go you will be able to work it all together. That's a good sign!

 

[Duck Off]

I certainly am, I usually either work completely from home or a mix of home/in-office. When I have to go in, I'm able to leave early enough to still work the gym into my usual time. By the time I get home, my wife has our son (2) fed & settled, and he's willing to entertain me He goes to bed shortly after that, so while I miss 20-30 min. with him I get 30-40 after the "coming home rituals" and put him to bed. Can't hate on that too much, I suppose. !

Yeah working from home is a huge plus if you're able to do it. Another thing that's pretty big is if your spouse works. My wife and I both work full time. I have the standard 8-5 hours (little under 1hr commute each way though); I am salaried though so sometimes it's shorter days, sometimes longer. Wife is manager of a store in retail though so her hours are not consistent at all.

Ironically, although in a lot of ways it gets easier, the older they get; the more time they consume. Again, sorry if I'm getting too "deep", but growing up, I was fortunate to have a pretty amazing father. However, one thing I didn't like/was bummed about is we didn't spend much time together. As I've gotten older, I've realized why. He was home, but he was only one working and was exhausted from the hours. So I don't hold a grudge or anything; I just wanted to make sure my son could reflect on his childhood and know that I always made time for him. Not every day by any means, but once or twice a week we'll do something (video games, play catch, etc.). It's only about 30 mins-1 hr, but it's meaningful. I try and do same thing with wife.

Anyway, when they get older, you get into extracurricular activities and although you don't have the trouble of spoon feeding them or change them; it starts to take up more free time. Again though, a lot depends on spouse's workload.

I definitely tip my hat to those who have multiple kids, jobs that don't allow flex time like that, fewer "free" hours, etc. and still get into the gym. What's most impressive is the ones who are usually the most into it have the worst schedules otherwise. I suppose it's one of those things where they thrive among chaos. I've been there at times as well, and once you get going it's just a whirlwind of sticking to whatever is on the calendar and getting it done or assuming failure and moving along.!

I find the ones who are doing it alone to be the most impressive. I helped coach my son's (8yr old) last year, and I was crazy impressed with a single mom who was working, alone, and got him to almost every practice. If you ever get in the giving mood. Pick up the tab for a parent and son who are eating alone. I try and do it every once in a while.

I agree about what you said that it's impressive if they get to the gym, but I also hope they aren't missing what actually matters for the gym. Health is important, but I knew guys that were there all the time and they spoke about coming straight there from work and would often talk about how their kids would be asleep by time they got home. It's not my life so to each their own, but I always found that kind of ****ed up honestly. I do give major props to those that keep their priorities straight and make time for it.

I'm fortunate that I have a gym 5 mins away from my job. I just work out at lunch about 4 times a week. It's only for about 30 mins, but hey, it keeps me away from fast food (big, big weakness), and I make those 30 mins count. I won't ever be as in shape as I was because I don't get near the workout I used to, but I'm very happy, which is what matters.

Sounds like you know the deal though, and once you're ready to go you will be able to work it all together. That's a good sign!

Life is always changing, I think that's what everyone needs to keep in mind. Some day you may not have the time to go to gym for 1hr +, just have to roll with it.

 

[Ozz]

Yeah working from home is a huge plus if you're able to do it. Another thing that's pretty big is if your spouse works. My wife and I both work full time. I have the standard 8-5 hours (little under 1hr commute each way though); I am salaried though so sometimes it's shorter days, sometimes longer. Wife is manager of a store in retail though so her hours are not consistent at all.

Ironically, although in a lot of ways it gets easier, the older they get; the more time they consume. Again, sorry if I'm getting too "deep", but growing up, I was fortunate to have a pretty amazing father. However, one thing I didn't like/was bummed about is we didn't spend much time together. As I've gotten older, I've realized why. He was home, but he was only one working and was exhausted from the hours. So I don't hold a grudge or anything; I just wanted to make sure my son could reflect on his childhood and know that I always made time for him. Not every day by any means, but once or twice a week we'll do something (video games, play catch, etc.). It's only about 30 mins-1 hr, but it's meaningful. I try and do same thing with wife.

Anyway, when they get older, you get into extracurricular activities and although you don't have the trouble of spoon feeding them or change them; it starts to take up more free time. Again though, a lot depends on spouse's workload.



I find the ones who are doing it alone to be the most impressive. I helped coach my son's (8yr old) last year, and I was crazy impressed with a single mom who was working, alone, and got him to almost every practice. If you ever get in the giving mood. Pick up the tab for a parent and son who are eating alone. I try and do it every once in a while.

I agree about what you said that it's impressive if they get to the gym, but I also hope they aren't missing what actually matters for the gym. Health is important, but I knew guys that were there all the time and they spoke about coming straight there from work and would often talk about how their kids would be asleep by time they got home. It's not my life so to each their own, but I always found that kind of ****ed up honestly. I do give major props to those that keep their priorities straight and make time for it.

I'm fortunate that I have a gym 5 mins away from my job. I just work out at lunch about 4 times a week. It's only for about 30 mins, but hey, it keeps me away from fast food (big, big weakness), and I make those 30 mins count. I won't ever be as in shape as I was because I don't get near the workout I used to, but I'm very happy, which is what matters.



Life is always changing, I think that's what everyone needs to keep in mind. Some day you may not have the time to go to gym for 1hr +, just have to roll with it.

Single parents doing the gym/bodybuilding thing are beyond my capability! At that point, mentally I'd be lucky to get into the gym once per week. At that point, I'd probably figure 'why bother'. Yes, those people can become Superman/woman for sure What I meant by "most impressive" though was not that people who do the most are the most impressive, but that such people usually have their schedule down to the minute and leave no room for anything outside of life responsibilities, the gym, and prepping food.

You mentioned happiness and that is my new motto. Years ago I decided being full-bore with it all is no longer what I wanted. I'm far happier for it and am a big advocate (as seen here) for finding whatever keep you happy and continuing. What I ought to mention is the obvious, which you stated, but does indeed get lost on some: it should also not interfere with real responsibilities!

 

[blue425]

Larking - You mention being involved in a number of clubs. Would cutting some of them out make it easier for you to find time to workout?

I know I am in the minority here, but one of the things I love about progressive calisthenics is that I can do them anywhere, with little to no equipment, in as little or as much time as I feel like spending on them.

 

[ColePens]

Gotta agree with Ozz. If you are feeling like you are going to stop, just drop down to 1-2 times a week and kill it for those 1-2. You will get the energy and motivation back.

 

[karingoras]

Just need some motivation. A real motivation

 

[LarKing]

So, after essentially ignoring all of your advice and thoughts for a few months and dropping working out completely, I'm now just getting back into it this past week. Hit the weights 5 days in a row and my body is screaming at me no matter how much protein I consume . Feels great to be back though, excited to get back to it after taking today off. Being excited about it is something I haven't felt in nearly a year, extremely happy about that.