Gretel & Hansel (2020) :
When I was young, of all the stories my mother read to me, Hansel and Gretel was by far the scariest. So scary, in fact, I insisted she banish the book to the top shelf of the closet. Even after its exile, the thought of that book being in the house, and the horrors within, bothered me for years.
Gretel & Hansel puts a feminist spin on the German fairy tail. Pretty little Sophia Lillis, donning the most unflattering haircut this side of Kristen Stewart, plays Gretel. Gretel spends the movie protecting her little brother from the witch who takes them in, and fattens them up, after they are expelled from their home.
Unfortunately, Gretel and Hansel NEVER gets scary. Not once. In fact, it doesn't even approach scary. The entire movie is nothing but interesting visuals and an overbearing soundtrack - similar to an equally UN-scary horror film called Wind from 2019.
That's too bad because given how dark the source material is, and how good the performances are (Lillis as Gretel and Alice Krige as the witch), Gretel and Hansel could have been very good. Instead, the movie feels long and uncompelling - even at only 87 minutes.
3/10