Kid retired from competitive hockey

[WarriorOfGandhi]

I have a good pay check. Hard to have fun with it when I’m forced to work two or three days just for one day off..

Again I’m not saying it’s a bad option, But if you get burnt out playing hockey a few hours a day I don’t think working 8-10 hour days is going to have any less burn out long term.

What is success? My friends and family think I’m successful but in reality I’m a slave and I don’t see why others are so quick to rush into this life.

I miss feeling burnt out from hockey, much better then when I was burnt out from working 8 hours for the fourth day in a row and then being asked to work overtime and looking like the bad guy when I sayI will quit before I work a second of overtime.

Basically I’m just saying man hold on to hockey or whatever truly makes you happy for as long as you can, you have your entire life after to become a successful slave.

spoken like a guy who hasn't figured out he can steal paper towels from the office

 

[tarheelhockey]

I have a good pay check. Hard to have fun with it when I’m forced to work two or three days just for one day off..

Again I’m not saying it’s a bad option, But if you get burnt out playing hockey a few hours a day I don’t think working 8-10 hour days is going to have any less burn out long term.

What is success? My friends and family think I’m successful but in reality I’m a slave and I don’t see why others are so quick to rush into this life.

I miss feeling burnt out from hockey, much better then when I was burnt out from working 8 hours for the fourth day in a row and then being asked to work overtime and looking like the bad guy when I sayI will quit before I work a second of overtime.

Basically I’m just saying man hold on to hockey or whatever truly makes you happy for as long as you can, you have your entire life after to become a successful slave.

Ok, but holding onto hockey too long means you’re going to be working those same hours for less pay and less chance of promotion.

Work is a reality of life. For most people, it’s worth getting serious about it early so you can reap the benefits when you’re older, rather than grinding till the day you keel over.

 

[Hattrickkane88]

Ok, but holding onto hockey too long means you’re going to be working those same hours for less pay and less chance of promotion.

Work is a reality of life. For most people, it’s worth getting serious about it early so you can reap the benefits when you’re older, rather than grinding till the day you keel over.

I know working early and reaping the benefits is drilled into every humans head growing up but I’ve always seen a major flaw with it.

When they say reap the rewards when your older do they mean at like 60 years old? What are you going to do with all that free time and money now that your body has broken down and you can’t even go surf or whatever you wanted to do before you gave your youth away to work?

Humans need to be encouraged to spend their teens and 20s reaping the benefits of a young body. Who cares if you have to work at 60? Your too old to do what you’d really want to anyway..


I don’t expect you or anyone else to agree with me, humans have been hammered about how to live their entire lives, I’m just a “successful” depressed human who hates the situation we are all placed in.

 

[tarheelhockey]

I know working early and reaping the benefits is drilled into every humans head growing up but I’ve always seen a major flaw with it.

When they say reap the rewards when your older do they mean at like 60 years old? What are you going to do with all that free time and money now that your body has broken down and you can’t even go surf or whatever you wanted to do before you gave your youth away to work?

Humans need to be encouraged to spend their teens and 20s reaping the benefits of a young body. Who cares if you have to work at 60? Your too old to do what you’d really want to anyway..


I don’t expect you or anyone else to agree with me, humans have been hammered about how to live their entire lives, I’m just a “successful” depressed human who hates the situation we are all placed in.

I mean, you can work and still enjoy your hobbies And if it makes the difference between retiring at 55 and 75, that’s a pretty massive difference in your overall amount of time spent doing what you actually want.

I dunno what to tell you, man. We don’t get the luxury of being in a world where the future isn’t a real place.

 

[Hattrickkane88]

I mean, you can work and still enjoy your hobbies And if it makes the difference between retiring at 55 and 75, that’s a pretty massive difference in your overall amount of time spent doing what you actually want.

I dunno what to tell you, man. We don’t get the luxury of being in a world where the future isn’t a real place.

I don’t see any difference at 55 compared to 75. Both ages are decades past having a body that can “ spend time doing what you actually want “

I don’t know how to respond to this because I never said I don’t want the future to exist, if the future didn’t exist wouldn’t I be stuck at my job for the rest of eternity??

 

[Howie Hodge]

Well I can tell you, as someone who is not far off of 60, that I wish I could afford to retire.

The only things I enjoyed that I can't do is play competitive sports anymore. (Well that and my reading vision going to she ott.)

I would be perfectly fine with watching hockey, EPL, and doing whatever I could afford to do.

So my regret is not staying with a State Job 35 years ago that would now have me retired and collecting a State Pension..



As for the original premises, it is sad to see your kid(s) call it a day with sports. One of my sons was very athletic, and prematurely gave up baseball and soccer, even though he was near the top of his age group in both in our area. Simply said he didn't enjoy either anymore. Long story, but at least he ended up a varsity golfer for his high school years.

Came back to play semi-competitive soccer at 19 with my men's team. Very cool experience. He is pushing 30, and I have retired, but he still plays for "the love of the game." I am pleased to have been able to instill that element of sports into him.

 

[tarheelhockey]

I don’t see any difference at 55 compared to 75. Both ages are decades past having a body that can “ spend time doing what you actually want “

I don’t know how to respond to this because I never said I don’t want the future to exist, if the future didn’t exist wouldn’t I be stuck at my job for the rest of eternity??

Everyone’s body is different, but there’s a pretty huge difference between 55 and 75. Like, the difference between being able to travel and hike and fish and get on the floor with your grandkids, and not.

 

[rabblewo]

I remember when I stepped away from competitive hockey. I had been last goalie cut from juniors for the last two years. For years, I wanted nothing more than to play professional hockey. I did not enjoy my second and third years of midget AAA, mostly because of some of my teammates. Our team was divided into the coaches son and his friends vs the rest of us. After graduating from midget, I went to one last junior camp. Halfway through, I realised I still wasn't having fun. I realised that I had lost my love for the game. I don't know if it was because of my last two years of midget, or seeing that the same toxic personality types that permeated my midget team would also be ever-present in jr, or just the realisation that I had dedicated my whole life to this; to maybe, hopefully, become a backup junior A goalie. I realised that I wasn't as good as I thought, that despite always being the best goalie for my age group at my association, I wasn't even the best goalie in the city let alone the province. So I left the camp early, and never played goalie again.

I switched to forward a couple years later, and it's the most fun I can remember playing hockey. Once in a while I get a "what if" thought, but I know in reality I probably would've been cut from jr A, and then played two years of jr B and end up right where I am now just a couple years later. The thing that bothers me the most about quitting, is that I can still remember the look on my dads face when I told him I was done. He wasn't sad that I quit, he was sad that I lost the love for the one thing I had loved more than anything for my entire life. He never questioned my decision though.

It was a tough decision for me, but when you lose the love of the game it makes no sense to keep playing.

 

[Kamaya Painters]

"Send him to Sweden"... this would cost how much? While there are some options outside of the traditional minor hockey - junior route... there are prep schools and academies and such in North America too... but practically speaking those are not things which everybody can afford to do. Pay-to-play junior is expensive enough already. But usually anything "outside the box" is going to be even more.

Look, if you want something in life, then you have to work for it, explore and find ways. Not just set up boundaries before you've explored it. It wasn't meant that I would live in a completely different country with a completely different culture and language when I was born but that's what life brings you. People adapt much better than you think. I fully understand your skepticism but Sweden was just an example because of how they take care of youngsters and the mentality in general. It's a completely different environment. The right choice might be next door. The point, however, is that most people need to be challenged in order to succeed but in order to be happy with what you're doing you need to be content as well. It's practically impossible to be happy in a toxic environment. The easy part is to stay where you are and not do anything about the issue.

I am sure that being that far away from home is a non starter for him. One thing that I have seen in conversations since is that many coaches in Midget AAA and Junior are not positive or supportive. Could be like playing for Tortorella all the time. Not that he has trouble with criticism but it seems like too many coaches crap on players all the time. I found it interesting.

We don't really know how he'd react in a different environment. It's very individual. He might re-discover his passion, make friends right away and learn a completely different culture. He might fall apart as a person. Everything's just a hypothesis unless he actually tries it.

As for the bolded text. Exactly. This is why he needs a new surrounding to re-capture his love for the game again. It might be just around the corner. I only brought up Sweden because the mentality is much different as opposed to Canada/US. Different personalities work in different environments and with different type of people. The climate in NA is generally a lot harder. A player that might need an arm around his shoulder might just be at the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong people.

I'd recommend him to explore alternative routes. That's all.

 

[Porter Stoutheart]

Look, if you want something in life, then you have to work for it, explore and find ways. Not just set up boundaries before you've explored it. It wasn't meant that I would live in a completely different country with a completely different culture and language when I was born but that's what life brings you. People adapt much better than you think. I fully understand your skepticism but Sweden was just an example because of how they take care of youngsters and the mentality in general. It's a completely different environment. The right choice might be next door. The point, however, is that most people need to be challenged in order to succeed but in order to be happy with what you're doing you need to be content as well. It's practically impossible to be happy in a toxic environment. The easy part is to stay where you are and not do anything about the issue.

I think you fully misunderstood my post. I would LOVE to send my kid to Sweden. It would be glorious and I am all for the positives of the experience in terms of culture, language, and also hockey. My question is 100% centered on cost. Because to me, it sounds like something that only a very wealthy person would be able to afford to do. I'm honestly asking what the cost might be. Because if there was some way of doing it that was on the same order as our pay-to-play Junior system, I'd be all over it. But I can barely afford things here as it is in our messed up system staying local, so I'm just assuming some of these other beautiful ideas - whether they are residence academies or prep schools or further off in Sweden or anywhere else - are just beyond my means.

 

[Ciao]

I can't say I am happy because of what joy it brought to our family, and although he seems fine with his decision he probably could have went further. It seemed more than any other year at tryouts when we asked if there were any funny stories, he would reply "No, things are pretty serious.". Wasn't about the fun anymore, it was more business. And not having family around was more than he wanted to deal with. So, we said if you want to come home, then let's go. Doesn't make it easier even if it was the right decision.

You have a smart, well balanced son who will go very far in life, and you and your wife should be very proud of him as I'm sure you are.

My wife and I have seven kids and five grandchildren. Every one of our kids has a university degree -- nine degrees among them. They are engineers, teachers, managers etc and for the most part have done pretty well in life.

One of the most important signs of maturity and precursors of personal happiness and success I look for in my offspring is the willingness and ability to accept responsibility for making their own decisions. Your son has that in spades and you should be bursting with pride.

Hopefully, not all his decisions will be perfect (and this one might not be) because we learn more from our mistakes than we do from our successes, but you have raised a young man who is already prepared at some level to take responsibility for his own life, and because of that has a good chance for enduring happiness and success.

Please pass on my good wishes to your family, along with my hopes that your son will keep hockey or some other sports as a healthy life-long activity and that he will keep an open mind to returning to the game if the time is right.

BTW, I have practiced law for 34 years. One of my best friends is a 62 y.o. lawyer who still plays recreational hockey at least twice a week with all the doctors in town, and he has pretty much developed his career around those associations. There's much more you can do with that skill than just the traditional career path of a pro hockey player.

 

[Slats432]

You have a smart, well balanced son who will go very far in life, and you and your wife should be very proud of him as I'm sure you are.

My wife and I have seven kids and five grandchildren. Every one of our kids has a university degree -- nine degrees among them. They are engineers, teachers, managers etc and for the most part have done pretty well in life.

One of the most important signs of maturity and precursors of personal happiness and success I look for in my offspring is the willingness and ability to accept responsibility for making their own decisions. Your son has that in spades and you should be bursting with pride.

Hopefully, not all his decisions will be perfect (and this one might not be) because we learn more from our mistakes than we do from our successes, but you have raised a young man who is already prepared at some level to take responsibility for his own life, and because of that has a good chance for enduring happiness and success.

Please pass on my good wishes to your family, along with my hopes that your son will keep hockey or some other sports as a healthy life-long activity and that he will keep an open mind to returning to the game if the time is right.

BTW, I have practiced law for 34 years. One of my best friends is a 62 y.o. lawyer who still plays recreational hockey at least twice a week with all the doctors in town, and he has pretty much developed his career around those associations. There's much more you can do with that skill than just the traditional career path of a pro hockey player.

Thank you for taking the time to make this kind and generous post.

 

[Patmac40]

BTW, I have practiced law for 34 years. One of my best friends is a 62 y.o. lawyer who still plays recreational hockey at least twice a week with all the doctors in town, and he has pretty much developed his career around those associations. There's much more you can do with that skill than just the traditional career path of a pro hockey player.

This was a great post all the way around and exactly my feelings on it, especially this part. I'm a CPA in public practice and we have a league with other firms from the city but we also bring in a lot of people from the business and legal world around for relationship building while we just shoot the **** and play hockey.

I stopped playing competitively going into junior to focus on school but I'm still so glad that I played hockey since it's still just a fun activity but it's been helpful in my career.

All the best to your son, OP. Not an easy decision but good on him for taking control.

 

[Slats432]

This was a great post all the way around and exactly my feelings on it, especially this part. I'm a CPA in public practice and we have a league with other firms from the city but we also bring in a lot of people from the business and legal world around for relationship building while we just shoot the **** and play hockey.

I stopped playing competitively going into junior to focus on school but I'm still so glad that I played hockey since it's still just a fun activity but it's been helpful in my career.

All the best to your son, OP. Not an easy decision but good on him for taking control.

This as well. Think about a kid who is making the decision knowing that although we were both supportive, it wasn't the decision that neither mom or dad wanted.

 

[TheDawnOfANewTage]

You have a smart, well balanced son who will go very far in life, and you and your wife should be very proud of him as I'm sure you are.

My wife and I have seven kids and five grandchildren. Every one of our kids has a university degree -- nine degrees among them. They are engineers, teachers, managers etc and for the most part have done pretty well in life.

One of the most important signs of maturity and precursors of personal happiness and success I look for in my offspring is the willingness and ability to accept responsibility for making their own decisions. Your son has that in spades and you should be bursting with pride.

Hopefully, not all his decisions will be perfect (and this one might not be) because we learn more from our mistakes than we do from our successes, but you have raised a young man who is already prepared at some level to take responsibility for his own life, and because of that has a good chance for enduring happiness and success.

Please pass on my good wishes to your family, along with my hopes that your son will keep hockey or some other sports as a healthy life-long activity and that he will keep an open mind to returning to the game if the time is right.

BTW, I have practiced law for 34 years. One of my best friends is a 62 y.o. lawyer who still plays recreational hockey at least twice a week with all the doctors in town, and he has pretty much developed his career around those associations. There's much more you can do with that skill than just the traditional career path of a pro hockey player.

Ya man, this. Not a parent, but I'd much rather have a kid who can make a tough decision like that rather than one who just kinda has blinders on. Hopefully he retains his love of the game and finds what works for him within the hockey world.

For me it was the high school team. Got started late, had some injuries, but decided to try out for HS team my Junior year. I trained all summer, made some nice plays in tryouts.. and there was one slot left for 2 players. They didn't have enough jerseys, so I and another player alternated between warming the bench and warming the stands.

In hindsight I wish I'd quit. Awful coach, mostly bad teammates, bad season, but I felt like I had to see it through. Idk why, think I was trying to impress my parents and friends, but it really took away from my love of the game just a bit- got that love back, but that came from a more carefree House hockey team and not the highest level I could reach. Your kid seems to have more self-awareness than I did, and I'd put that above high level hockey any day.

 

[Blackbear]

Well, end of the line for hockey dad. Son went through tryouts in Junior A, and looked like he was making the team. Morning mom and I were about to leave and he would have been with billets going forward, he decided family and home superceded hockey and he decided to come home.

Was a good run but my watch has ended.

Sorry, but it's too late to start saving for college now

 

[Sam Spade]

You have a smart, well balanced son who will go very far in life, and you and your wife should be very proud of him as I'm sure you are.

My wife and I have seven kids and five grandchildren. Every one of our kids has a university degree -- nine degrees among them. They are engineers, teachers, managers etc and for the most part have done pretty well in life.

One of the most important signs of maturity and precursors of personal happiness and success I look for in my offspring is the willingness and ability to accept responsibility for making their own decisions. Your son has that in spades and you should be bursting with pride.

Hopefully, not all his decisions will be perfect (and this one might not be) because we learn more from our mistakes than we do from our successes, but you have raised a young man who is already prepared at some level to take responsibility for his own life, and because of that has a good chance for enduring happiness and success.

Please pass on my good wishes to your family, along with my hopes that your son will keep hockey or some other sports as a healthy life-long activity and that he will keep an open mind to returning to the game if the time is right.

BTW, I have practiced law for 34 years. One of my best friends is a 62 y.o. lawyer who still plays recreational hockey at least twice a week with all the doctors in town, and he has pretty much developed his career around those associations. There's much more you can do with that skill than just the traditional career path of a pro hockey player.

This is a exactly the response I would have written to the OP had I been as articulate as you are.

I would be very proud of my son had he made this same decision.

My son loves the game and at 13 has already spoken about going to college and trying out for his college team as a walk on, and possibly getting into reffing so he can continue his love for the game long after his organized playing days are over.

I have no doubt he will be a guy walking into the rink at 10pm playing in a beer league even after he is married and has kids. And that is pretty awesome to think about if you ask me.