Kid retired from competitive hockey

[Slats432]

Well, end of the line for hockey dad. Son went through tryouts in Junior A, and looked like he was making the team. Morning mom and I were about to leave and he would have been with billets going forward, he decided family and home superceded hockey and he decided to come home.

Was a good run but my watch has ended.

Click to read more...

 

[DannyGallivan]

Don't know whether to post a "like", or condolences. Organized hockey comes to an end for 99 percent of players before that, so it sounded like a good run.

 

[rh71]

I'd wager it stops being fun for the kid once it becomes so serious that you are without family and friends. You'd have to really want it to keep going. And know that it's work from there on out.

 

[Slats432]

I can't say I am happy because of what joy it brought to our family, and although he seems fine with his decision he probably could have went further. It seemed more than any other year at tryouts when we asked if there were any funny stories, he would reply "No, things are pretty serious.". Wasn't about the fun anymore, it was more business. And not having family around was more than he wanted to deal with. So, we said if you want to come home, then let's go. Doesn't make it easier even if it was the right decision.

 

[Yukon Joe]

Your kid is obviously old enough to make that decision by himself, but yeah I get it as a hockey dad. You can spend so much of your own free time sitting in cold and dingy arenas over the years you get quite invested in your kids success. You make friends with a lot of the other parents.

And then it just... ends.

 

[Porter Stoutheart]

Yeah there is usually that point. The alternative... well, do you step back to Jr B... and even if he was just decent at Jr A what was next anyway - you just hope one day to pay part of a ride for a Div III school or what? There are lots of places your money could still end up going to basically little avail down the road, so if it's not absolutely bringing joy anymore then an earlier end is probably going to work out best. More time for school, family, other kinds of fun, things that have taken a back seat over the years.

You can't exactly regret it all because it was fun and at the end of the day you know you would never have chosen differently. Just sometimes in a darker moment... that was a lot of money, wow. Only briefly though. Then it's, naw, it was all worth it anyway.

And then you get to do it from the grandad side of things...

 

[The Crypto Guy]

Thanks for sharing.

 

[Neutrinos]

He'll have more fun dominating House League

 

[I am toxic]

If a midget/junior player likes working with other kids, I would consider getting some coaching certifications.

There is so much to the hockey world, and skilled players who have a passion for teaching are valuable in the hockey world.

 

[Slats432]

He'll have more fun dominating House League

Just watched him play junior B last night. "Y'all playin' checkers...I'm playin' chess."

 

[Slats432]

If a midget/junior player likes working with other kids, I would consider getting some coaching certifications.

There is so much to the hockey world, and skilled players who have a passion for teaching are valuable in the hockey world.

He helped coach last year as an on ice helper in Peewee AA. Who knows.

 

[tarheelhockey]

It seemed more than any other year at tryouts when we asked if there were any funny stories, he would reply "No, things are pretty serious.". Wasn't about the fun anymore, it was more business.

I find this dynamic interesting.

On one hand, you don't want players on the team who aren't entirely committed, or who will struggle with life on the road. Better to stress-test them early in the process so you know what you're dealing with, and so that those "I want to come home" conversations happen sooner rather than later.

On the other hand, I have to wonder whether this is really the best way to achieve success in an organization. Is it really so hard to work some bonding time into the process, let the kids smile a bit, let them have fun? Seems like the business approach is selecting for specific personality traits, and those traits aren't really connected to talent or work ethic.

I don't really have any answers here. Just wonder sometimes if the game loses talent because it takes itself a bit too seriously.

 

[Slats432]

I find this dynamic interesting.

On one hand, you don't want players on the team who aren't entirely committed, or who will struggle with life on the road. Better to stress-test them early in the process so you know what you're dealing with, and so that those "I want to come home" conversations happen sooner rather than later.

On the other hand, I have to wonder whether this is really the best way to achieve success in an organization. Is it really so hard to work some bonding time into the process, let the kids smile a bit, let them have fun? Seems like the business approach is selecting for specific personality traits, and those traits aren't really connected to talent or work ethic.

I don't really have any answers here. Just wonder sometimes if the game loses talent because it takes itself a bit too seriously.

The conversations were ongoing for us. He stated at 15 that if he has to go somewhere he would be good with it. It was his third junior camp but the first real chance of making it and the reality hits when Mom and Dad are packed to go home without you. Also, there are lots of hotel room and road trips throughout three years of Midget so there is some separation.

I don't know if the seriousness goes away until the team is selected. Most kids are under tons of stress competing for a job. The uncertainty wears on kids and coaches in junior aren't there to overcome that, they are there to put the best team on the ice. That is their job.

 

[Hattrickkane88]

Wonder how much fun he’s going to have at a nine to five.

 

[Slats432]

Wonder how much fun he’s going to have at a nine to five.

I am sure after his university degree he will get a fine job and a great career. That was his plan even with hockey.

 

[Filthy Dangles]

Wonder how much fun he’s going to have at a nine to five.

The kid was a fringe Junior A player. Didn't really have much of a chance in making a career in hockey anyway (not trying to be disrespectful in saying that, it's just the hard truth).

 

[Slats432]

The kid was a fringe Junior A player. Didn't really have much of a chance in making a career in hockey anyway (not trying to be disrespectful in saying that, it's just the hard truth).

Other than the top half a dozen players on each team that would be true. Much has to go right for any player for a career in hockey to work out, even the top guys. Good junior A players look towards education packages and if hockey doesn't work out then they move to school. I can't tell you what level of Junior A player he would have been because he chose not to play.

 

[Hattrickkane88]

The kid was a fringe Junior A player. Didn't really have much of a chance in making a career in hockey anyway (not trying to be disrespectful in saying that, it's just the hard truth).

For sure, It’s just reading the post about it being too serious, not enough fun or whatever and that is sadly going to be the same situation for the rest of his life at a job.

Once you are done hockey fun is over. I had the choice of going to school for Anything I wanted to be but there is literally nothing that’s actually fun unless you take a huge pay cut or get into a lucky situation.

Some people claim to love their jobs but honestly i either don’t believe them or feel some of them are simple minded ( no offence ) or were never in a situation to truly understand how fun something can be.

 

[pgfan66]

There's absolutely that point for almost every player (and parent). You look at the elite NHL prospects like Jack Hughes and how hard they work and have been working for years to get to where they are, and you see they're fully invested and want nothing more. But even at that level, elite junior players and first-round NHL picks, you get some that coaches are never happy with because despite all their talent they won't make it because they don't work hard enough.

Even at the top level it's an incredible commitment and anything but easy. So when you're about to make the decision of playing Jr. A or not when you're a fringe player, that commitment becomes even more difficult. Where are you going in life? And at that point, it absolutely makes sense to say this is it, and just play at a lower level while going to university and starting a "normal life."

My friend's son played in the WHL, was an early 2nd-round NHL pick, got a few games but never managed to stick around, and he's now in his late 20s and playing in a subpar Euro league. He just wants to play hockey at the highest level he possibly can, and there's no other option for him because he loves it so much and is so invested in it. If that's the case, awesome. Go do it. But anything less than that, can't blame a kid for saying no to competitive hockey and stepping down a level.

 

[Kamaya Painters]

The uncertainty wears on kids and coaches in junior aren't there to overcome that, they are there to put the best team on the ice. That is their job.

I feel sorry for your kid if this simplistic view is the norm in your region. A coach should be there to educate on a sporting and personal level. Your kid is in an important stage of his development as a human being and would benefit greatly from having both parts in his life without feeling this way. It's great that he favors family and friends because no potential future earnings will ever make him as happy as when you have your loved ones around you.

However, your line above is making me think that maybe he just needs to think a little outside the box and challenge himself. It sounds to me like he's in a place where a different approach would allow him to continue developing sporting and personality wise. It sounds like he'd benefit from having a different structural sporting system where he'd be given a chance to rediscover his love for the game. That, of course, alongside a functional educational system which'd help him to have something to fall back on.

Here's an idea that you'll find crazy and your mind will say "no" to instantly. What about sending him to Sweden where they have both parts for kids his age?

I know a guy in the current NHL that went from a vastly different European country (which is quite different to Sweden in terms of mentality) around your sons age and grew as a person and player. There'd be no language barrier. Everyone speaks English over there.

 

[the paisanos guy]

I feel sorry for your kid if this simplistic view is the norm in your region. A coach should be there to educate on a sporting and personal level. Your kid is in an important stage of his development as a human being and would benefit greatly from having both parts in his life without feeling this way. It's great that he favors family and friends because no potential future earnings will ever make him as happy as when you have your loved ones around you.

However, your line above is making me think that maybe he just needs to think a little outside the box and challenge himself. It sounds to me like he's in a place where a different approach would allow him to continue developing sporting and personality wise. It sounds like he'd benefit from having a different structural sporting system where he'd be given a chance to rediscover his love for the game. That, of course, alongside a functional educational system which'd help him to have something to fall back on.

Here's an idea that you'll find crazy and your mind will say "no" to instantly. What about sending him to Sweden where they have both parts for kids his age?

I know a guy in the current NHL that went from a vastly different European country (which is quite different to Sweden in terms of mentality) around your sons age and grew as a person and player. There'd be no language barrier. Everyone speaks English over there.

If the reason for his son quitting hockey was that he didn't want to live a couple hours away from his family, I doubt him going to Sweden is the answer.

 

[Slats432]

I feel sorry for your kid if this simplistic view is the norm in your region. A coach should be there to educate on a sporting and personal level. Your kid is in an important stage of his development as a human being and would benefit greatly from having both parts in his life without feeling this way. It's great that he favors family and friends because no potential future earnings will ever make him as happy as when you have your loved ones around you.

However, your line above is making me think that maybe he just needs to think a little outside the box and challenge himself. It sounds to me like he's in a place where a different approach would allow him to continue developing sporting and personality wise. It sounds like he'd benefit from having a different structural sporting system where he'd be given a chance to rediscover his love for the game. That, of course, alongside a functional educational system which'd help him to have something to fall back on.

Here's an idea that you'll find crazy and your mind will say "no" to instantly. What about sending him to Sweden where they have both parts for kids his age?

I know a guy in the current NHL that went from a vastly different European country (which is quite different to Sweden in terms of mentality) around your sons age and grew as a person and player. There'd be no language barrier. Everyone speaks English over there.

I am sure that being that far away from home is a non starter for him. One thing that I have seen in conversations since is that many coaches in Midget AAA and Junior are not positive or supportive. Could be like playing for Tortorella all the time. Not that he has trouble with criticism but it seems like too many coaches crap on players all the time. I found it interesting.

 

[Porter Stoutheart]

I feel sorry for your kid if this simplistic view is the norm in your region. A coach should be there to educate on a sporting and personal level. Your kid is in an important stage of his development as a human being and would benefit greatly from having both parts in his life without feeling this way. It's great that he favors family and friends because no potential future earnings will ever make him as happy as when you have your loved ones around you.

However, your line above is making me think that maybe he just needs to think a little outside the box and challenge himself. It sounds to me like he's in a place where a different approach would allow him to continue developing sporting and personality wise. It sounds like he'd benefit from having a different structural sporting system where he'd be given a chance to rediscover his love for the game. That, of course, alongside a functional educational system which'd help him to have something to fall back on.

Here's an idea that you'll find crazy and your mind will say "no" to instantly. What about sending him to Sweden where they have both parts for kids his age?

I know a guy in the current NHL that went from a vastly different European country (which is quite different to Sweden in terms of mentality) around your sons age and grew as a person and player. There'd be no language barrier. Everyone speaks English over there.

"Send him to Sweden"... this would cost how much? While there are some options outside of the traditional minor hockey - junior route... there are prep schools and academies and such in North America too... but practically speaking those are not things which everybody can afford to do. Pay-to-play junior is expensive enough already. But usually anything "outside the box" is going to be even more.

 

[tarheelhockey]

For sure, It’s just reading the post about it being too serious, not enough fun or whatever and that is sadly going to be the same situation for the rest of his life at a job.

Once you are done hockey fun is over. I had the choice of going to school for Anything I wanted to be but there is literally nothing that’s actually fun unless you take a huge pay cut or get into a lucky situation.

Some people claim to love their jobs but honestly i either don’t believe them or feel some of them are simple minded ( no offence ) or were never in a situation to truly understand how fun something can be.

You would be surprised how much fun you can have with a paycheck that allows you to pursue your passions of choice, including hockey.

Dropping out of hockey to focus on pursuits which will actually lead to success later in life is probably the best option on the table for a burnt-out Junior A player. The other option is to continue, burn out even more, miss opportunities for future success, and end up bitter and resentful that nobody advised him to get out when the time was right.

 

[Hattrickkane88]

You would be surprised how much fun you can have with a paycheck that allows you to pursue your passions of choice, including hockey.

Dropping out of hockey to focus on pursuits which will actually lead to success later in life is probably the best option on the table for a burnt-out Junior A player. The other option is to continue, burn out even more, miss opportunities for future success, and end up bitter and resentful that nobody advised him to get out when the time was right.

I have a good pay check. Hard to have fun with it when I’m forced to work two or three days just for one day off..

Again I’m not saying it’s a bad option, But if you get burnt out playing hockey a few hours a day I don’t think working 8-10 hour days is going to have any less burn out long term.

What is success? My friends and family think I’m successful but in reality I’m a slave and I don’t see why others are so quick to rush into this life.

I miss feeling burnt out from hockey, much better then when I was burnt out from working 8 hours for the fourth day in a row and then being asked to work overtime and looking like the bad guy when I sayI will quit before I work a second of overtime.

Basically I’m just saying man hold on to hockey or whatever truly makes you happy for as long as you can, you have your entire life after to become a successful slave.