I love my job

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Kevs Security, Nov 7, 2018.

  1. Kevs Security

    Kevs Security inmateMack/CanesMack/LeafMack/elMacko

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    As y'all know, I love my job. I'm currently employed by a local media giant here in Toronto, Ontario. I work as a Corporate Security Investigator. But how would I describe my job? Well... my main job is to catch cyber bullies. These cancerous pieces of crap make me so mad. Just the other day my dear friend Jack authorized me to suspend some shady Twitter accounts. I was just scrolling by, making my way to yesterdays tweets, when something caught my eye.

    "f**k off u gay", posted by @Darren_Drager. I knew I had to do something. Why, you may ask?

    1. The real "Darren Drager" works for the media giant I am employed by. It's not in our interests to have a fake Darren telling people to f-off.

    2. Extremely homophobic language. Although the tweet was a direct reply to Pete Blackburn, I label this as hate speech.

    3. You can't just pretend to be someone you are not on the internet. That's just rude. Also consider the fact that you could be sued for identity theft.

    So I did what I had to do. Slid in to that poor fella's DM's.

    "Hello. I work for [my company] in the Corporate Security Department. I need to speak to you, can you please call me at [my number], it is very important that we talk." You know what he did next? Changed his bio, pic and name. Yeah. I was really confused when I opened my private messages and saw a new message from myself, to myself.

    Kevin L
    Corporate Security Investigator
    [My company], Toronto, Ontario
    [My picture]

    It was a complete ****ing nightmare. Somehow this dude had found my LinkedIn-page, copied all of my personal information and was now pretending to be me on Twitter. Heck, I didn't know what to do next. So I DM'd Jack and told him what's going on. The account was suspended and rightly so. I also made it so that if anyone tried to register on Twitter using my name or pic, they would be suspended immediately. Just try it, my mans.

    But yeah. Regardless of everything, I still love my job. I'm truly making the world a better place.

    -Kevin
     
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  2. Jiminy Cricket

    Jiminy Cricket #TeamMeat

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    Thank you for your service.
     
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  3. Kevs Security

    Kevs Security inmateMack/CanesMack/LeafMack/elMacko

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    It's guys like us who make Canada the greatest nation in the world, James. I'd like to take this opportunity to thank you for your wife's amazing feet. I could just lick 'em. She literally has the most beautiful toes, I want to insert them in my mouth. She is literally a gazillionaire with the most beautiful toes and feet.
     
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  4. 112

    112 Registered User

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    Imagine working for a living.
     
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  5. H3ckt1k

    H3ckt1k Registered User

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    imagine that @HFBCommenter
     
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  6. Roman Fell

    Roman Fell Registered User

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    I was driving into a Wal-Mart parking lot yesterday and there was this truck

    "Make money while you sleep, website"

    That is how I earned my fortune and how I don't need to work like the rest of you peons. Keep slaving away for the man !
     
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  7. valeriammm

    valeriammm Whiskey Wench Sponsor

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    Braver than the Marines
     
  8. Kevs Security

    Kevs Security inmateMack/CanesMack/LeafMack/elMacko

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    Driving under the influence might seem like a correct thing to do after a long night shift, but I'm not going to do it. Three beers is enough, I'll drink more once I get home. Man, what a day. 'Em cyber bullies better watch out, they've got a big storm coming. My grandma (Rest In Piece Gramma Felicia) always said that what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. No one ever died because they got cyber bullied. But no one ever gained an extra 20lbs of muscle because they were cyber bullied either. So I guess grams' was wrong, after all.
     
  9. Kevs Security

    Kevs Security inmateMack/CanesMack/LeafMack/elMacko

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    I ****ing hate my job to be honest with y'all fellas.
     
  10. Kevs Security

    Kevs Security inmateMack/CanesMack/LeafMack/elMacko

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    That's it. Just woke up covered in sweat. Had some nightmares. What kind of nightmares, you ask? NIGHTMARES ABOUT WORKING AS A CORP. SEC. FEL. FOR EVEN A ONE MORE DAY. I need a new job.
     
  11. Roman Fell

    Roman Fell Registered User

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    post more

    i want you to set a goal to make a post in every thread on the first page of the lounge.
     
  12. Roman Fell

    Roman Fell Registered User

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    I have made In This Month $23K by working online from home. Getting paid $20k and more from this job. I have made $25K in Previous month by working online and stay with my family also. Its an easy job to do even a child who know facebook can do this job. Everybody can get this job and earn more income online better than regular office job by just open this link and then follow instructions to get started right now
     
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  13. StanGetz

    StanGetz o̯̘̍͋̀͌̂͒͋͋ͯ̿ͯͦ̈́ͬ͒̚̚

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    lmao @Tom Hansen is spamming you again
     
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  14. darko

    darko Registered User

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    How long have you been a prison guard?
     
  15. Kevs Security

    Kevs Security inmateMack/CanesMack/LeafMack/elMacko

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    I'm not a ****ing prison guard, pal. I investigate cyber crimes on a daily basis and earn ~$9K a month doing so.
     
  16. darko

    darko Registered User

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    My bad, fella.
     
  17. Roman Fell

    Roman Fell Registered User

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    I have made In This Month $23K by working online from home. Getting paid $20k and more from this job. I have made $25K in Previous month by working online and stay with my family also. Its an easy job to do even a child who know facebook can do this job. Everybody can get this job and earn more income online better than regular office job by just open this link and then follow instructions to get started right now
     
  18. darko

    darko Registered User

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    Did you manage to get rid of that gonorrhea?
     
  19. Roman Fell

    Roman Fell Registered User

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    I have made In This Month $23K by working online from home. Getting paid $20k and more from this job. I have made $25K in Previous month by working online and stay with my family also. Its an easy job to do even a child who know facebook can do this job. Everybody can get this job and earn more income online better than regular office job by just open this link and then follow instructions to get started right now
     
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  20. Roman Fell

    Roman Fell Registered User

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    I have made In This Month $23K by working online from home. Getting paid $20k and more from this job. I have made $25K in Previous month by working online and stay with my family also. Its an easy job to do even a child who know facebook can do this job. Everybody can get this job and earn more income online better than regular office job by just open this link and then follow instructions to get started right now
     
  21. Kevs Security

    Kevs Security inmateMack/CanesMack/LeafMack/elMacko

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    Shut the **** up! I love my job
     
  22. Roman Fell

    Roman Fell Registered User

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    I have made In This Month $23K by working online from home. Getting paid $20k and more from this job. I have made $25K in Previous month by working online and stay with my family also. Its an easy job to do even a child who know facebook can do this job. Everybody can get this job and earn more income online better than regular office job by just open this link and then follow instructions to get started right now
     
  23. Tylers Dad

    Tylers Dad Registered Dad

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    If you're an investigator can you help me find my son?
     

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