HFWF: The Reboot XI - The Return

[M.C.G. 31]

UPDATE

The Not-So-Last Supper

We see a camera shot in heaven showing two dinner tables, one huge table for everyone in heaven, and another smaller section of the HFWF talent who ended up there (somehow) because the rest of heaven is still weary of them. It's looking like a delightful dinner with wine, bread and various meet options along with fruits. @Fro begins bragging to @Cor about how his body is a champion on earth still while Cor can't even get an acting job in heaven. Cor reasons, saying that because he is in heaven he's decided to be modest. He knows he is the best actor in heaven and has no need to be so ruthless. He's a kind, compassionate soul now, but he's still the best. God overhears this and asks Cor if he wants to repeat that. Cor lowers his head, slumping down and chewing on some bread.

@BonMorrison is shown at the dinner table, face smashed up still after ramming his face into the door handle on earth. He's also in a straight jacket and is trying to eat like an animal, stuffing his face into the plate. Bon pleads with God to take the straight jacket off so he can eat, but God reminds Bon that he tried smoking weed at the dinner table yesterday when he showed him some leniency and that Bon needs to earn that trust again. Bon asks if he can at least sit next to someone else, and the camera reveals @Paris in Flames sitting beside Bon with a creepy smile on his face. Paris is offended that Bon would want to change spots. Paris reminds Bon that they're super good friends and have love for each other... forever and always. Paris creepily smiles at Bon, and then tells him that he'll even feed him to help him out. Paris takes a huge slab of meat and slams it in Bon's disfigured face. The food falls down into Bon's lap as he sits there, sad, while the rest of the dinner table laughs.

God slams his fists on the tables, yelling "enough." He doesn't know how MCG ever ran a successful wrestling promotion with a bunch of scoundrels like them, but they better shape up or they're going to end up with Lucifer. Suddenly, the dinner table groans as they declare that Lucifer has already arrived. @The Gongshow walks into the picture with a smirk. He's acting all buddy buddy with everyone, but no one really wants to include him for be involved with him. God asks Gongshow why he was late, and @Scandale du Jour barges in and tells Gongshow to never break into his room again and use his mirror. Scandale says he and God are tight and he has an endless supply of mirrors and doesn't need Gongshow to go ruin them. They get into a shoving battle, but a lightning bolt gets in between them to separate them. God tells the HFWF table to look at him and declares that his hair is going to fall out because of them. God declares all of them unfit for heaven and is about ready to send them all to hell.

Lil' Connor speaks up, standing on his chair, though. He tells God that they're really just nice people who were in a bit of a mishap. They're sad, but they deserve another chance. God asks Connor if he's really willing to vouch for them. Connor says he is. @Emperoreddy suddenly appears out of thin air in the seat beside Connor at the dinner table. Connor is elated, hugging Emperoreddy, but then slapping him for dying so soon. Connor throws bread at Emperoreddy in anger. Emperoreddy calms Connor down and tells him they can win the tag titles in heaven now. The entire table erupts in laughter, finally bonding over something, as everyone points at Emperoreddy as being a giant loser. Cor jokes that Emperoreddy is a bigger loser than Paris, so Paris reminds Cor that he was beaten over the head with a coconut before dying by a walrus and to keep his mouth shut.

More arguments arise. Suddenly, a loud slam is heard on the table. They all look to God, who replies, "why you looking at me?" It's revealed that Emperoreddy used all his heaven blessed strength to slam his fists into the table in anger. Emperoreddy is shaking as he looks side-to-side at the HFWF table. Emperoreddy takes a moment, and finally lets out...

"WHERE. THE f***. ARE THE FISH STICKS!?!?!?"

The entire table gasps as there's a no swearing rule in heaven. @Brudda uses Herman SheamusFan's arm to point to the sign at the door, with the sign saying "NO CURSING" and Emperoreddy replies, "f*** EM! f*** THAT! WHERE THE f*** MY FISH STICKS! I GO BACK TO HEAVEN, I GET A SPEAR THROUGH MY BODY, AND THERE'S NO DAMN FISH STICKS WAITING FOR ME?" Connor is yelling at Emp to calm down and that he's going to ruin everything. Emperoreddy picks up The Gongshow and throws him through the dinner table! Everyone stands back in absolute shock and horror. God rises to his feet and he officially banishes Emperoreddy back to hell. Emperoreddy is about to vanish, but Emperoreddy grabs Lil' Connor by his shirt!

EMPEROREDDY HAS DRAGGED LIL' CONNOR DOWN TO HELL WITH HIM!

"Uh oh," lets out God, as he looks down as Emperoreddy (& Lil' Connor) descend down below.

To be continued...

EVENTS:
- Emperoreddy drags Lil' Connor down to hell with him.

 

[Emperoreddy]

We were too good for heaven anyway.

Don’t worry. We will beat the Devil up and be running the joint by the end of the day. Then we can go be tag champs.

 

[BonMorrison]

send me to Area 51 for further testing

 

[AlphaCatalyst]

@El Dandy is sitting in the HFWF HQ Lounge and is by himself, He is watching TV But cannot find anything to watch and is just channel surfing.

TV: “Only 9.99 and if you call now we will even throw in a”…”And that's why you are still single” (oooooo), “That's what my mom says. (laughter)...”What happened to Sully?” “I let him go”...”Singing in the rain, just singin”...”and that why the Blues will repeat as champs”…

AC walks in and in addition to his HFWF All Class title, HFWF Tag team Title and HFWF World Heavyweight title he now has the New Japan The IWGP Heavyweight Championship, The ROH World Championship, The AEW World Championship, the WWE Championship, and the WWE Universal Championship and is struggling a bit carrying it all. He is alos trying to snap his fingers. Dandy looks at him and is at a loss of words. AC sets all the championships down on the couch.

El Dandy: Hey AC, Where ya been?

AC: Oh you know setting the wrestling world on fire. Where is everyone?

El Dandy: Uh...Scandale is MIA since that day at the bistro. Gong was killed by UnrealMachine and Unrealmachine has gone somewhere too. So I guess it’s just you and me now.

AC: Huh...I see.

El Dandy: Say...AC, Where did you get all those?

Dandy points at the stack of titles.

AC: Oh those...From eBay.

El Dandy: Ebay?

AC: Yeah. Why?

El Dandy: Just curoius...So Why do you have them all?

AC: Oh See I heard That if one person can collect all six of the major wrestling titles they can snap their fingers and be able to have whatever I want. But I have six now and nothing is working.

El Dandy: AC are you sure you are not confused? That sounds like the infinity stones lore not Wrestling titles.

AC thinks about it for a moment. And looks like he has had an epiphany.

AC: Awww man I think your right...Now I feel silly. Of course. Thanks Dandy.

El Dandy: No problem fam.

AC: It is seven titles, and then a dragon appears and you make a wish. I can’t believe I got that wrong.

El Dandy: Pretty sure thats Dragon Ball Lore.

AC: Really?

El Dandy: Yeah man.

AC: Well that is disappointing. I was hoping to make everything normal again and bring back our fallen friends.

AC and Dandy sit in silence for a bit as an episode of simposns plays in the background.

AC then gets up and collects his titles.

El Dandy: Where are you off to?

AC: Oh I am going to go hide these titles in elaborately booby trapped dungeons.

El Dandy: What? Wait..Why?

AC: See now that I hold every major wrestling world heavyweight championship in the world I am the Apex Champion. Blood was spilt is getting all of these and that makes me invincible. The only way to defeat me is to destroy each title and that will cause my powers to weaken and only after all 6 are destroyed can I truly be defeated.

El Dandy: Wait that is the lore from Harry Potter. Voldemort and his horcruxes had that mythos.

AC: No, I think your wrong this time. See ya Dandy.

AC Leaves and Dandy sits there for a momet then suddenly thinks about what AC said.

El Dandy: Wait AC...What did you mean when you said blood was spilt in getting each of those? I thought you said you got them from eBay?

There is no answer as AC is gone and Dandy is left by himself again with only the sounds of the TV.

TV: "in other news still no leads into the tragic fire that killed several wrestlers at the WWE, AEW, New Japan and Ring of Honour super show to honour those lost in the HFWF plane tragedy. The event was being held in Tokyo at the eBay arena..."

El Dandy: I think AC just became a video game villain.

 

[AlphaCatalyst]

the mACchine @The Catalyst
I am immortal.
I have inside me blood of kings.
I have no rival.
No man can be my equal.
Born to be king.
Prince of the universe.

Spoiler

 

[M.C.G. 31]

UPDATE

The Door

At HFWF HQ, @UnrealMachine is lugging around @The Gongshow 's dead body over his shoulder. @El Dandy, @The Catalyst & @M.C.G. 31 are following behind, looking for a quiet, hidden spot in HQ. The building is quarantined, so they have no worries. UnrealMachine walks down some halls and opens up some office doors, not finding any good hiding spot. El Dandy and Legendary AC ask MCG where the good spots are since he put this place together. MCG is silent as he's on his phone.

Eventually, they go down the stairs. They bypass the exit to the HQ and continue down to the basement. They open the door and MCG now hops in front. MCG blocks the pathway to a specific door, telling them not to go in there. They start an argument about what's behind the door and MCG is insisting that it's nothing. El Dandy ask "shovelman" what he's hiding. MCG insists that it's nothing and to just ignore the door and continue on down. UnrealMachine, Legendary AC & El Dandy stand as a united front... and.. well, Gongshow, too, on Unreal's shoulder as a corpse. MCG has an uneasy smile on his face. MCG is pointing them in the direction down the hall and away from the door.

Legendary AC and El Dandy try pushing MCG out of the way, but MCG stands his ground. They try sneaking by him and opening the door, but MCG pushes them away too. Legendary AC doesn't understand what the big deal is. El Dandy asks what's so bad that can be behind that door.

El Dandy jokes, "what, is that 'deserted island' really just behind that door and you're running some sick simulation on everyone else on the roster back there?" El Dandy, Legendary AC and UnrealMachine laugh at the insane suggestion, Legendary AC continues, "hey, you think if we yell out @Falco Lombardi, @Mitchy, @SeidoN, @Serac, @Disclose, @KIRK and all their names, they'll come running to the door and have no choice but to hail as as their saviours," all continuing to belly out in big laughter but MCG's fake laugh turns to one of nervousness. UnrealMachine now forcefully pushes MCG out of the way and opens the door. UnrealMachine, Legendary AC and El Dandy are surprised at what they see as MCG looks down in shame.

To be continued...

EVENTS:
- What's behind the door?

 

[M.C.G. 31]

Coast Guard @CoastGuardOfTheWorld
As the Sentinelese close in, @ColePens crashed helicopter thanks to @Scandale du Jour zombie has led to some actual bonding on the island. The HFWF talent stranded have pulled the wrecked helicopter and rescue plane apart and are now using parts as weapons/shields to protect & match from the Sentinelese spears. We are close to a showdown here, folks.

 

[M.C.G. 31]

UPDATE

The Battleground

“PREPARE THE BATTLE GROUND,” yells @PeterSidorkiewicz as he wields a helicopter propellor over his head. Everyone stops to look at him. He slumps back saying he got ahead of himself. @Falco Lombardi takes charge, saying they have better weapons, they have more men (it seems) and they have a steady base of land compared to the Sentinels on the water. Falco has the spear he pulled out of @Emperoreddy ’s body and lines up on shore.

@Mitchy takes offence to Falco claiming leadership here. Falco asks who else will do it when all of The Outcasts are too busy trying to win over the mermaid when she’s clearly not interested in @SeidoN and @Serac and has been checking out Falco’s ass this whole time. The mermaid overhears this and says she’s only been looking at the tattoo on Falco’s ass and to not flatter himself. Falco is confused, and says he doesn’t have a tattoo on his ass. The mermaid gives him a look.

Falco tries pulling down his pants to peak but, you know, one arm. He asks Mitchy for help. @KIRK says this brings back bad flashbacks. Zombie @Scandale du Jour says it does because he was the one who had to pull down KIRK’s pants for a rabies shot in a robotic voice. KIRK shoots @ColePens a look, who admits he may have f***ed up when it comes to the memory aspect.

Mitchy slightly pulls down Falco’s pants. “DUUUUDE,” Mitchy exclaims. Everyone gathers around. @Dr Pepper and @jbell886 ’s head let out a big laugh.

“Holy shit, @Cor tattooed his face on your ass,” exclaims Dr Pepper as everyone on the island begins laughing - including Snap the Turtle and GUADALUPE. Peter walks over to Cor’s corpse, and most of Cor is decomposing at this point aside from the tattoo on his ass, which has Falco’s face on it. Falco is in a state of shock. Everyone on the island begins laughing as Falco begins to wonder if the calls for the marriage certificate weren’t prank calls anymore.

Suddenly, the Sentinels make loud noises. They take advantage of the laughing and distraction and storm the island. KIRK, being a bitch, runs away rather than help fight. First, though, KIRK pins @Fro ’s corpse and he regains the 24/7 Internet Lightweight Heavyweight Championship. KIRK uses GUADALUPE as a trampoline, but @Disclose pulls him down. Disclose rolls up KIRK, and Disclose finally wins the belt! Immediately, Disclose grabs KIRK and Snap the Turtle and force them into GUADALUPE’S ass to hide.

Disclose grabs a rock and joins the fight as the Sentinels reach shore now. Some throw spears, but miss. One hits Zombie Scandale with a spear, but it goes through his chest and Zombie Scandale continues approaching. The Seninel is shocked, and Scandale begins eating its face and killing the Sentinel.

The HFWF crew are fending off the attack. Eventually, the focus turns to Disclose and the shiny belt. The HFWF crew defends Disclose. Disclose defends himself with a rock from a spear throw, and Disclose then throws the spear back, but it’s caught. The Sentinels retreat only losing one man. The HFWF crew watch them leave, but one Sentinel, who was on the other side of the island, sneaks up on them. The Sentinel pushes his spear through the brain of Zombie Scandale, killing him. GUADALUPE yells out to bring attention to the one Sentinel, who quickly runs off and swims back with his crew after killing Zombie Scandale. The HFWF crew gather around as the Sentinels retreat.

Disclose pulls Snap the Turtle out, and then goes to try pulling KIRK out. He asks ColePens for help, who refuses because GUADALUPE is a fat pig and her ass is a portal to the in between. KIRK tells ColePens that he’s now the bitch. They try pulling KIRK out, but he’s stuck... but one Sentinel runs back and throws his spear, and the spear flies right into GUADALUPE’S stomach! GUADALUPE’S stomach begins deflating on top of KIRK as he’s still inside! Oh no! Another spear flies through the air, but our camera feed cuts out and all we get is a mic pickup of someone screaming as if they just got severely injured.

Someone from the HFWF crew screams, “stay with us!” And another yells out, “WRAP IT UP, QUICK, WE CAN’T LOSE HIM!”

To be continued...

EVENTS
- KIRK defeats Fro’s corpse to become 24/7 Internet Lightweight Heavyweight Champion
- Disclose defeats KIRK to become 24/7 Internet Lightweight Heavyweight Champion
- Falco finds out Cor tattooed each other’s faces on their asses
- One Sentinel dies
- Zombie Scandale dies
- GUADALUPE’S stomach is pierced by a spear and deflates on top of KIRK who was hiding in her ass
- Someone else is severely injured

 

[Serac]

MCG: I just dont have the time to keep HFWF up

Also MCG: Elaborate, convoluted stories with God, a dead kid, a multi champion winning turtle, zombie wrestlers, murders, mermaids, etc.

 

[Scandale du Jour]

Zombie Frenchy @Scandale du Jour
How they kill which who has no brain?

 

[KIRK]

UPDATE

The Not-So-Last Supper

We see a camera shot in heaven showing two dinner tables, one huge table for everyone in heaven, and another smaller section of the HFWF talent who ended up there (somehow) because the rest of heaven is still weary of them. It's looking like a delightful dinner with wine, bread and various meet options along with fruits. @Fro begins bragging to @Cor about how his body is a champion on earth still while Cor can't even get an acting job in heaven. Cor reasons, saying that because he is in heaven he's decided to be modest. He knows he is the best actor in heaven and has no need to be so ruthless. He's a kind, compassionate soul now, but he's still the best. God overhears this and asks Cor if he wants to repeat that. Cor lowers his head, slumping down and chewing on some bread.

@BonMorrison is shown at the dinner table, face smashed up still after ramming his face into the door handle on earth. He's also in a straight jacket and is trying to eat like an animal, stuffing his face into the plate. Bon pleads with God to take the straight jacket off so he can eat, but God reminds Bon that he tried smoking weed at the dinner table yesterday when he showed him some leniency and that Bon needs to earn that trust again. Bon asks if he can at least sit next to someone else, and the camera reveals @Paris in Flames sitting beside Bon with a creepy smile on his face. Paris is offended that Bon would want to change spots. Paris reminds Bon that they're super good friends and have love for each other... forever and always. Paris creepily smiles at Bon, and then tells him that he'll even feed him to help him out. Paris takes a huge slab of meat and slams it in Bon's disfigured face. The food falls down into Bon's lap as he sits there, sad, while the rest of the dinner table laughs.

God slams his fists on the tables, yelling "enough." He doesn't know how MCG ever ran a successful wrestling promotion with a bunch of scoundrels like them, but they better shape up or they're going to end up with Lucifer. Suddenly, the dinner table groans as they declare that Lucifer has already arrived. @The Gongshow walks into the picture with a smirk. He's acting all buddy buddy with everyone, but no one really wants to include him for be involved with him. God asks Gongshow why he was late, and @Scandale du Jour barges in and tells Gongshow to never break into his room again and use his mirror. Scandale says he and God are tight and he has an endless supply of mirrors and doesn't need Gongshow to go ruin them. They get into a shoving battle, but a lightning bolt gets in between them to separate them. God tells the HFWF table to look at him and declares that his hair is going to fall out because of them. God declares all of them unfit for heaven and is about ready to send them all to hell.

Lil' Connor speaks up, standing on his chair, though. He tells God that they're really just nice people who were in a bit of a mishap. They're sad, but they deserve another chance. God asks Connor if he's really willing to vouch for them. Connor says he is. @Emperoreddy suddenly appears out of thin air in the seat beside Connor at the dinner table. Connor is elated, hugging Emperoreddy, but then slapping him for dying so soon. Connor throws bread at Emperoreddy in anger. Emperoreddy calms Connor down and tells him they can win the tag titles in heaven now. The entire table erupts in laughter, finally bonding over something, as everyone points at Emperoreddy as being a giant loser. Cor jokes that Emperoreddy is a bigger loser than Paris, so Paris reminds Cor that he was beaten over the head with a coconut before dying by a walrus and to keep his mouth shut.

More arguments arise. Suddenly, a loud slam is heard on the table. They all look to God, who replies, "why you looking at me?" It's revealed that Emperoreddy used all his heaven blessed strength to slam his fists into the table in anger. Emperoreddy is shaking as he looks side-to-side at the HFWF table. Emperoreddy takes a moment, and finally lets out...

"WHERE. THE ****. ARE THE FISH STICKS!?!?!?"

The entire table gasps as there's a no swearing rule in heaven. @Brudda uses Herman SheamusFan's arm to point to the sign at the door, with the sign saying "NO CURSING" and Emperoreddy replies, "**** EM! **** THAT! WHERE THE **** MY FISH STICKS! I GO BACK TO HEAVEN, I GET A SPEAR THROUGH MY BODY, AND THERE'S NO DAMN FISH STICKS WAITING FOR ME?" Connor is yelling at Emp to calm down and that he's going to ruin everything. Emperoreddy picks up The Gongshow and throws him through the dinner table! Everyone stands back in absolute shock and horror. God rises to his feet and he officially banishes Emperoreddy back to hell. Emperoreddy is about to vanish, but Emperoreddy grabs Lil' Connor by his shirt!

EMPEROREDDY HAS DRAGGED LIL' CONNOR DOWN TO HELL WITH HIM!

"Uh oh," lets out God, as he looks down as Emperoreddy (& Lil' Connor) descend down below.

To be continued...

EVENTS:
- Emperoreddy drags Lil' Connor down to hell with him.

C'mon everybody. How can you not LOVE this update?

What an incredible, selfless, charitable act by @Emperoreddy.

Refusing to abandon LIL' CONNOR to that horrible, terrible god who didn't even have some damned FISH STICKS at the dinner table.

Refusing to abandon LIL' CONNOR to a world where a couple of four letter words get everyone's knickers in a twist.

Oh no. @Emperoreddy couldn't leave LIL' CONNOR to that.

So, @Emperoreddy SACRIFICED himself to drag LIL' CONNOR to hell with him.

No words, @Emperoreddy. No words, just the admiration of us all . . .

 

[KIRK]

UPDATE

The Battleground

“PREPARE THE BATTLE GROUND,” yells @PeterSidorkiewicz as he wields a helicopter propellor over his head. Everyone stops to look at him. He slumps back saying he got ahead of himself. @Falco Lombardi takes charge, saying they have better weapons, they have more men (it seems) and they have a steady base of land compared to the Sentinels on the water. Falco has the spear he pulled out of @Emperoreddy ’s body and lines up on shore.

@Mitchy takes offence to Falco claiming leadership here. Falco asks who else will do it when all of The Outcasts are too busy trying to win over the mermaid when she’s clearly not interested in @SeidoN and @Serac and has been checking out Falco’s ass this whole time. The mermaid overhears this and says she’s only been looking at the tattoo on Falco’s ass and to not flatter himself. Falco is confused, and says he doesn’t have a tattoo on his ass. The mermaid gives him a look.

Falco tries pulling down his pants to peak but, you know, one arm. He asks Mitchy for help. @KIRK says this brings back bad flashbacks. Zombie @Scandale du Jour says it does because he was the one who had to pull down KIRK’s pants for a rabies shot in a robotic voice. KIRK shoots @ColePens a look, who admits he may have ****ed up when it comes to the memory aspect.

Mitchy slightly pulls down Falco’s pants. “DUUUUDE,” Mitchy exclaims. Everyone gathers around. @Dr Pepper and @jbell886 ’s head let out a big laugh.

“Holy ****, @Cor tattooed his face on your ass,” exclaims Dr Pepper as everyone on the island begins laughing - including Snap the Turtle and GUADALUPE. Peter walks over to Cor’s corpse, and most of Cor is decomposing at this point aside from the tattoo on his ass, which has Falco’s face on it. Falco is in a state of shock. Everyone on the island begins laughing as Falco begins to wonder if the calls for the marriage certificate weren’t prank calls anymore.

Suddenly, the Sentinels make loud noises. They take advantage of the laughing and distraction and storm the island. KIRK, being a *****, runs away rather than help fight. First, though, KIRK pins @Fro ’s corpse and he regains the 24/7 Internet Lightweight Heavyweight Championship. KIRK uses GUADALUPE as a trampoline, but @Disclose pulls him down. Disclose rolls up KIRK, and Disclose finally wins the belt! Immediately, Disclose grabs KIRK and Snap the Turtle and force them into GUADALUPE’S ass to hide.

Disclose grabs a rock and joins the fight as the Sentinels reach shore now. Some throw spears, but miss. One hits Zombie Scandale with a spear, but it goes through his chest and Zombie Scandale continues approaching. The Seninel is shocked, and Scandale begins eating its face and killing the Sentinel.

The HFWF crew are fending off the attack. Eventually, the focus turns to Disclose and the shiny belt. The HFWF crew defends Disclose. Disclose defends himself with a rock from a spear throw, and Disclose then throws the spear back, but it’s caught. The Sentinels retreat only losing one man. The HFWF crew watch them leave, but one Sentinel, who was on the other side of the island, sneaks up on them. The Sentinel pushes his spear through the brain of Zombie Scandale, killing him. GUADALUPE yells out to bring attention to the one Sentinel, who quickly runs off and swims back with his crew after killing Zombie Scandale. The HFWF crew gather around as the Sentinels retreat.

Disclose pulls Snap the Turtle out, and then goes to try pulling KIRK out. He asks ColePens for help, who refuses because GUADALUPE is a fat pig and her ass is a portal to the in between. KIRK tells ColePens that he’s now the *****. They try pulling KIRK out, but he’s stuck... but one Sentinel runs back and throws his spear, and the spear flies right into GUADALUPE’S stomach! GUADALUPE’S stomach begins deflating on top of KIRK as he’s still inside! Oh no! Another spear flies through the air, but our camera feed cuts out and all we get is a mic pickup of someone screaming as if they just got severely injured.

Someone from the HFWF crew screams, “stay with us!” And another yells out, “WRAP IT UP, QUICK, WE CAN’T LOSE HIM!”

To be continued...

EVENTS
- KIRK defeats Fro’s corpse to become 24/7 Internet Lightweight Heavyweight Champion
- Disclose defeats KIRK to become 24/7 Internet Lightweight Heavyweight Champion
- Falco finds out Cor tattooed each other’s faces on their asses
- One Sentinel dies
- Zombie Scandale dies
- GUADALUPE’S stomach is pierced by a spear and deflates on top of KIRK who was hiding in her ass
- Someone else is severely injured

KIRK (@KIRK)
Well, the good news is that I was a 3 time, 3 time, 3 time 24/7 Internet Lightweight Heavyweight Champion. True, this title reign only lasted 4 minutes, but that was out of homage to @M.C.G. 31.

KIRK (@KIRK)
And how did @M.C.G. 31 repay that homage? By leaving me, in another one of his chicken**** cliffhangers, stuck in the deflating stomach of that FAT PIG of a sister of @Disclose . . . GUADALUPE.

KIRK (@KIRK)
Vegas sets 3:1 odds on the identity of the individual stuck with the spear as @Disclose . . . and @Brudda's turtle, SNAPS, who incidentally was recently identified in The KIRK Dossier as a Russian asset.

 

[KIRK]

Zombie Frenchy @Scandale du Jour
How they kill which who has no brain?

KIRK (@KIRK)
That was a question that @ColePens and I frequently discussed long before he improved you into a Frenchy Zombie.

 

[KIRK]

MCG: I just dont have the time to keep HFWF up

Also MCG: Elaborate, convoluted stories with God, a dead kid, a multi champion winning turtle, zombie wrestlers, murders, mermaids, etc.

KIRK (@KIRK)
Oh shut the hell up and appreciate the swerve for what it is instead of projecting your anger that the mermaid wants nothing to do with you onto @M.C.G. 31.

 

[Disclose]

(i am so f***ind behind on this lol.
im probably dead. catching up)

 

[KIRK]

(i am so ****ind behind on this lol.
im probably dead. catching up)

KIRK (@KIRK)
Well catch up and rescue me from your fat pig of a sister's deflating stomach already.

 

[Cor]

*is still dead, but with a totally awesome tattoo*

 

[KIRK]

*is still dead, but with a totally awesome tattoo*

*and still making crappy movies in the netherworld, but with a totally awesome tattoo.

 

[Disclose]

@KIRK HANG IN THERE YOU ASSHOLE!

 

[M.C.G. 31]

HFWF @HFWF
We have no idea what’s going on anymore. Quick poll! Who were the HFWF crew frantically trying to save at the end of the last update?

- @Disclose
- @ColePens
- @Falco Lombardi
- OTHER?

 

[AlphaCatalyst]

HFWF @HFWF
We have no idea what’s going on anymore. Quick poll! Who were the HFWF crew frantically trying to save at the end of the last update?

- @Disclose
- @ColePens
- @Falco Lombardi
- OTHER?

Kirk?
Snap?
Guadalupe?

 

[Disclose]

a crew member.

 

[Scandale du Jour]

Zombie Scandy = money

 

[Falco Lombardi]

....

 

[Falco Lombardi]

LLRR Youtube Channel:

*The opening plays*

Falco: Welcome to the hottest gaming channel on Youtube! Welcome to....LeftLeftRightRight! Tonight we have the opening match for the LeftLeftRightRight NHL Tournament.

Today, we have repping his Tampa Bay Lightning, it's @The Catalyst AKA OOOOOOLD SCHOOOOOL.......and he will be taking on the All Class Champion, repping his Columbus Blue Jackets, it's @Fro AKA CARTS!!!

AC: Yeah hey Falco. I thought this was going to be on the SEGA Genesis.

Falco: We....we talked about this. Hell there wasn't even a Blue Jackets team back then!

AC: hmph....you're all soooooo lucky. *cracks open a beer*

Falco: Riiiiiiight...Anyways....This is an 8 man, single elimination tournament. Each game will have 5 minute periods and the winner will go on to win this b-e-a-UUUUUUUU-tiful custom championship title belt!

Fro: HEY! Wh....what's with those sideplates?!

Falco: What? I think it looks great! Anyway let's get the game the started!

FIRST ROUND MATCHUP: FRO vs. AC

Fro controls the puck off the opening draw and plays keep away. AC starts getting frustrated and ends up taking a tripping penalty. Powerplay to Fro. Fro wins the draw back and FIRES HOME A GOAL ON THE FIRST SHOT OF THE GAME!

Fro leads 1-0 16:55 to go in the first

Fro: Werenski!!! LETS GO

*@SeidoN comes in and sits in to watch*

AC: It's these stupid controls! How do you even use all these buttons?!

Fro snickers as play continues. With just under 4 minutes to go, AC takes another tripping penalty and puts Fro back on the PP. Fro uses the back of the net this time and sets up a one timer out in front and SCORES AGAIN!!!

Fro leads 2-0 2:29 to go in the first

Fro: Wooo! Can't stop me

AC: *inaudible mumbling to himself*

End of Period 1: Fro leads 2-0

The second period starts with AC picking up the physicality, but it leads to another PP, this time for interference. Fro goes back on the PP, but this time AC manages to kill it off. AC gives a small fist pump for the successful penalty kill, but as he does so, Fro steals the puck, goes in on a breakaway and BURIES IT! Fro has a commanding 3-0 lead

Fro leads 3-0 with 9:17 to go in the second

AC: Son of a bitch! I just need one break....my way....

Fro continues to taunt as both Falco and SeidoN start openly cheering for AC. AC continues to get chances but can't seem to bury it. At the 3 minute mark, AC gets a takeaway and it's a breakaway! Kucherov is in, shoot, save Bobrovsky, rebound followed up by Stamkos AND HE SCORES!!!

Fro leads 3-1 with 2:42 to go in the second

Hold on, the ref is waiving it off for goalie interference! No goal! What a bad break for AC!

AC: Oh COME ON! You gotta be kidding me. *Throws the empty beer can*

Fro: Hahahahahahaha, what a dirty sob Kucherov is running the goalie

End of Period 2: Fro leads 3-0

Fro: Tell you what AC. It's clear that this is over. If you want, you can forfeit now and save yourself the embarrassment of this getting worse.

AC: Oh screw you. This isn't done. All I need is one.

Third period begins and just moments in, Fro rings one right off the post and out and he's taunting AC, who is no longer talking and focusing very intently on his controller. Fro is beginning to sit back on his lead and trying to just run out the clock, drawing large boos from both Falco and SeidoN in the background. AC gets the puck and fires a slapshot from just inside the blueline....AND HE SCORES!! No interference this time!

Fro leads 3-1 with 12:40 to go in the third

AC: YES! That's one!

Fro: Ah come on Bob! That can't go in


The period continues and only 5 minutes later, AC winds up another slapshot from the point....AND IT GOES IN AGAIN! The exact same goal! It's a 1 goal game!!

Fro leads 3-2 with 7:26 to go in the third

Fro: WTF Bob? These are easy shots

Falco/SeidoN: Old School! Old School! Old School!

AC has a big grin on his face and looks very determined. Fro is starting to get frustrated and now he's skating the puck around in his own zone trying to run out the clock...but he gives it up to Stamkos AND AC TIES IT WITH ANOTHER SLAPPER! LESS THAN 2 MINUTES TO GO!!! Falco and SeidoN erupt as AC jumps out of his chair high fiving. Fro slams his fist on the table

Fro: How are these even going in?! There's no skill here! He's just getting lucky!!

Tie game at 3-3 with 1:47 to go in the third

We move into overtime. Both AC and Fro are playing very cautiously trying to avoid any mistakes. AC takes YET ANOTHER penalty and Fro has the puck on the delayed call and now he's setting him up. Fro is feeling very confident now as he's looking for the one timer on the delayed call.

Fro: You ready for this AC? You ready for this to be over?! Panarin time bitch!

Fro goes to pass it back....but the pass is off line....OH MY GOD NO....HE'S SCORED ON HIS OWN EMPTY NET IN OVERTIME!!! AC WINS!

AC defeats Fro 4-3 in OT

Falco: LADIES AND GENTLEMAN WE HAVE A WINNER.....OOOOOOOOOOLD SCHOOL

AC celebrates as Fro storms off.

Falco: Until next time, I am your host Falco Lombardi and remember to always let it hang LOOOOOOSE!

*The camera cuts and AC continues to celebrate while Falco and SeidoN continue to laugh their asses off at Fro*

Fro: Oh you think that's funny Falco? Huh? You too SeidoN? Everything is just a joke. Well you have your fun here with your stupid channel. I'll keep being a champ in the real world.

Fro slaps Falco as SeidoN steps in to separate him and Falco is no longer laughing. Fro backs off and Falco is left seething. Falco goes to chase after him, but SeidoN tells him to cool off. Just then, Falco's phone rings. He picks it up to see it's @The Gongshow. Falco throws the phone and storms off.