- Jun 24, 2012
- 83,756
- 150,712
If only there were some kind of superpower that Dominique Ducharme could summon, to help him break free of his failing strategies and inability to string consecutive wins together.
Too bad he couldn't just ingest an NZT pill from the movie Limitless, to give him more clarity. With his luck, he'd only end up with its side effects ...
As a member of an organization within the Bell family, he figured he'd use their resources for a teletherapy session, especially given their yearly mental well-being campaigns.
Unfortunately, Bell changed its vocation to a full-time downsizing outfit, so it was to no avail.
He then decided that he needed something more drastic. He had heard from his assistant coach, Alex Burrows, of a Shamanic ritual involving the death and rebirth of dead animals and how their spirit can be solicited to guide you through difficult decisions.
A ritual was performed using roadkill that happened to sit atop Burrows' head ...
Sadly, even that didn't work.
He then thought of something else. Maybe ... that disheveled mane that Bergevin sports at pressers, might have special powers, like some kind of Medusa. He figured it wouldn't hurt to seek it out.
As he got a closer look of Bergevin's mane, he realized that there were no serpents twirling around like on the Medusa's head. Instead, it was a bunch of outwardly flowing open palms that enabled the power to hand out contracts to fringe players, back ups, redundant assets and waiver wire fodder. Nothing Ducharme could use for himself.
Ducharme finally decided to come to terms with what was really holding him back.
He was supposed to be this forward-looking, new age coach with revolutionary techniques that would save the club. But instead of that, he was stifled, feeling guilty about having gotten the job via the firing of his friend, Claude Julien.
Ducharme was so badly sabotaging himself, that he was emulating the same Julien methods that got the latter fired.
There was only one way to cleanse himself of the burden he was carrying -- and that was to seek out Claude Julien, who he ended up connecting with on a Zoom call ...
Finally! In a matter of seconds, it would all be cleared up.
No sooner had Ducharme asked for help, Julien's screen became blurred and distorted.
He then began to hear odd noises coming from Julien's feed -- a distinct sound of urination.
This was followed by a cacophony of barking dogs, a baby crying, construction tools -- it became unbearable and the session had to be immediately cut off.
Unbeknownst to Ducharme, Julien had managed to escape, using a special plug-in ...
*Tool to help you escape Zoom meetings and other videoconferencing scenarios. It allows you to self-sabotage your audio stream, making your presence unbearable to others.
And so, Ducharme was left to himself to figure out how to get out of his 3 on 3 OT rut.
Habs projected lineup
Tatar-Danault-Gallagher
Drouin-Kotkaniemi-Anderson
Toffoli-Suzuki-Armia
Byron-Evans-Perry
Edmundson-Weber
Kulak-Petry
Romanov-Ouellet
Allen
GHG.
Too bad he couldn't just ingest an NZT pill from the movie Limitless, to give him more clarity. With his luck, he'd only end up with its side effects ...
As a member of an organization within the Bell family, he figured he'd use their resources for a teletherapy session, especially given their yearly mental well-being campaigns.
Unfortunately, Bell changed its vocation to a full-time downsizing outfit, so it was to no avail.
He then decided that he needed something more drastic. He had heard from his assistant coach, Alex Burrows, of a Shamanic ritual involving the death and rebirth of dead animals and how their spirit can be solicited to guide you through difficult decisions.
A ritual was performed using roadkill that happened to sit atop Burrows' head ...
Sadly, even that didn't work.
He then thought of something else. Maybe ... that disheveled mane that Bergevin sports at pressers, might have special powers, like some kind of Medusa. He figured it wouldn't hurt to seek it out.
As he got a closer look of Bergevin's mane, he realized that there were no serpents twirling around like on the Medusa's head. Instead, it was a bunch of outwardly flowing open palms that enabled the power to hand out contracts to fringe players, back ups, redundant assets and waiver wire fodder. Nothing Ducharme could use for himself.
Ducharme finally decided to come to terms with what was really holding him back.
He was supposed to be this forward-looking, new age coach with revolutionary techniques that would save the club. But instead of that, he was stifled, feeling guilty about having gotten the job via the firing of his friend, Claude Julien.
Ducharme was so badly sabotaging himself, that he was emulating the same Julien methods that got the latter fired.
There was only one way to cleanse himself of the burden he was carrying -- and that was to seek out Claude Julien, who he ended up connecting with on a Zoom call ...
Finally! In a matter of seconds, it would all be cleared up.
No sooner had Ducharme asked for help, Julien's screen became blurred and distorted.
He then began to hear odd noises coming from Julien's feed -- a distinct sound of urination.
This was followed by a cacophony of barking dogs, a baby crying, construction tools -- it became unbearable and the session had to be immediately cut off.
Unbeknownst to Ducharme, Julien had managed to escape, using a special plug-in ...
*Tool to help you escape Zoom meetings and other videoconferencing scenarios. It allows you to self-sabotage your audio stream, making your presence unbearable to others.
And so, Ducharme was left to himself to figure out how to get out of his 3 on 3 OT rut.
Habs projected lineup
Tatar-Danault-Gallagher
Drouin-Kotkaniemi-Anderson
Toffoli-Suzuki-Armia
Byron-Evans-Perry
Edmundson-Weber
Kulak-Petry
Romanov-Ouellet
Allen
GHG.
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