Speculation: Flames conspiracy theories

[Mobiandi]

I'll start.

Ward is still here so that Treliving can use him as bait to sign Hall. Once he's here, Treliving'll let Ward go

Click to read more...

 

[Ace Rimmer]

Bill Peters is still coaching the team via skype

 

[DFF]

Number #13 is actually Matthew gaudreau. Johnny is hiding to save himself for the playoffs.

 

[Tkachuk Norris]

The NHL is just part of the cybernetic projection in our minds which are being fed to us in pods where we are stored for the harvesting of our organs by our shape-shifting alien overlords

 

[Anglesmith]

You know all those coaches who get fired and seem to disappear? They actually end up working in a top-secret facility in Toronto to script and plan every game and event for the season.

The Flames were actually supposed to do really well this season, but many teams have been going rogue against the script, unchecked only because no one in the coach's guild watches enough Western Conference games to notice.

 

[Tofveve]

First line, which is now the second line, is taking a year off.

 

[Calculon]

Treliving knows this team needs an elite top line centre. And he knows the only way to get one is through the draft. So he intentionally acquired and signed a pile of losers, I mean, former Oilers, all so the Flames could narrowly miss the playoffs. Why? Because the fix is in. The Flames are going to win the lottery and draft Byfield.

The evidence is undeniable. Willfully trading for Lucic. A "mysterious" injury to Valimaki when no one was looking. Repeated attempts to trade the team's second best defenceman in Brodie. Tank Commander Ward ensuring a general lack of cohesion and chemistry while burying a future star in Kylington. All the team's veterans coincidentally having off years at the same time. The demoralizing updates on the numerous "attempts" to re-sign Hamonic serving as unfortunate but necessary reminders of the greater good. And of course now the captain gets injured oh so conveniently before the deadline, justifying a selloff.

Oh yes, it's all coming together nicely.

 

[super6646]

This team makes me a miserable wreck

 

[viper0220]

Everyone is just waiting for the new arena, they don't have a spa in the Dome.

 

[InfinityIggy]

Murray Edwards is a shape shifting reptilian alien who feeds on the blood of youthful virgins.

 

[Johnny Hoxville]

Any team that doesn’t feature Bennett and Kylington as their premier players isn’t trying to win. F this team, man.

 

[DFF]

Monahan has been a passenger for so long, he forgot how to drive and his driver's license is suspended.

 

[DCDM]

Why does Lucic, the largest Flame, not simply eat the other Flames?

 

[InfinityIggy]

Why does Lucic, the largest Flame, not simply eat the other Flames?

The Flames are truly ancient earths most foolish program.

 

[Ace Rimmer]

Why does Lucic, the largest Flame, not simply eat the other Flames?

Perhaps he is saving that for the sweep?

 

[Flames Fanatic]

Murray Edwards is a shape shifting reptilian alien who feeds on the blood of youthful virgins.

There's way too many posters on HF boards for this to be true

 

[Fig]

There's way too many posters on HF boards for this to be true

A used virgin is no longer a virgin...

 

[Rangediddy]

Murray Edwards is a shape shifting reptilian alien who feeds on the blood of youthful virgins.

It's more likely that he can't stay up late enough to watch the games in London so he has no idea how bad it is.

 

[TychoFan]

I'll start.

Ward is still here so that Treliving can use him as bait to sign Hall. Once he's here, Treliving'll let Ward go

Does Ward have a relationship with Hall somehow?

 

[Flames Fanatic]

Does Ward have a relationship with Hall somehow?

Ward was an assistant in Jersey while Hall was there. Dunno if there is more to it.

 

[InfinityIggy]

It's more likely that he can't stay up late enough to watch the games in London so he has no idea how bad it is.

Too busy counting his tax sheltered pile of money.

 

[Master Bill]

There was a rumour last season that James Neal yelled at Mike Smith to "make a f***ing save". This was not true. In fact, Neal yelled at the rest of the team saying that we should play better team defense to help Smitty out, and this galvanized and bonded the team together to 1st place in the West.

They are both gone, and now there is no one to galvanize and bond the team together.

 

[Jihadi Flames Fan]

• There's something in the water.

• The hockey gods are out to get us.

• The league is pulling the strings and is secretly sabotaging us.

• All players, after being acquired by the Flames, take an oath that their production/"give-a-crap" meter must dip at some point during their tenure.

• The 'Flaming C' actually stands for 'Cursed'.

I got tons and tons more! Some of these have to be true, right?

 

[Deen]

Johnny and Money hate one another and Johnny wants out.... Wait, that might be true.

 

[Bounces R Way]

That puck was in