Define Hockey Terms and Words Poorly

[Habsfunk]

Hockey fan: Someone who really hates one team in particular.

 

[Habsfunk]

30 goal scorer: A guy who's career is all downhill from here so you should trade him for a prospect ASAP.

Prospect: A young guy who will most certainly score 30 goals in the NHL one day, even if he can barely do that in juniors.

 

[TheAngryHank]

Top shelf , where mommy hides virtually everything.

 

[holy]

Shootout: In the case of a tie after 60 minutes of regulation and 5 minutes of overtime, opposing teams goaltenders congregate at center ice with their backs facing each other. When the go ahead is given by the PA announcer, they will skate 10 strides, at which time they are to turn and hurl milk crates at each other. This goes on until one of the goaltenders is knocked unconscious, losing his team the game.

Tuukka Rask is considered the master of this part of the game, having an undefeated record. His whereabouts are currently unknown.

 

[SavesEmNot]

Sacrificing the body: A bizarre ritual in which a body is offered to the hockey gods in the hopes that one's team will not be scored upon.

Screening the goaltender: The act of vetting a goaltender to ensure he is in the proper frame of mind to be tending the goal.

Trapezoid: A device behind the goal which ensnares players should they venture into that area too carelessly.

 

[Iapyi]

DropTheGlove - What happens when a poster realizes they are an extremely soft and fragile entity that has their sequined glove fall off while they are laying in bed listening to Michael Jackson's song 'Beat It' whilst doing a singular arm exercise.

 

[YoSoyLalo]

Has a Long Stick:

 

[Butch 19]

Five-Hole: <censored>

Slipped it between the pads.

 

[Goose]

Tripping: The effects of trying the same stuff Peter Chiarelli smokes before he makes his trades.

Forechecking: When you are Kyle Dubas signing another RFA and you yell “Fore” down the office hallway to let MLSE brass know you’re shanking another $10million dollar check at a twenty-two year old.

Man Advantage: The NHL’s official recognition of the systemic advantage men enjoy from the evolution of a patriarchal society over time.

Penalty Kill: Offsetting minor penalties where opposing players battle to the death in the penalty box to determine which team will play short handed for 2 minutes.

Shorthanded: When your team loses a penalty kill, it must chop off one of its players hands and not reattach the hand until 2:00 of game time has elapsed or the opponent scores.

 

[kicksavedave]

Shuffles, moves, advances, pushes, slides, taps, redirects, ladles, scoops, finds, sends, springs, backhands, kicks, no look, knifes: A pass.

 

[TheOtherOne]

Waivers: The documents players have to sign to play anytime an opponent is known to have Covid.
"We could win this one but not sure if our superstar will sign the waiver with Marchand coughing all over the ice..."

 

[IceNeophyte]

Slashing: pulling the blade off your skate and using it to draw the blood of an opponent. "Did you hear about Wilson? Three to five years for slashing."

 

[Elvs]

Backchecking:

 

[jetsforever]

New Jersey Devils: the demonic spirits that appear whenever management releases yet another terrible uniform design

 

[IceNeophyte]

Shuffles, moves, advances, pushes, slides, taps, redirects, ladles, scoops, finds, sends, springs, backhands, kicks, no look, knifes: A pass.

You forgot saucers

 

[IceNeophyte]

Test Free Agency: Check to see if Vegas or Tampa Bay wants you and can make the cap space for you before you commit to signing with your current team

 

[TheDawnOfANewTage]

True story...when I was a small child I thought "Icing" was when the players sprayed ice on the puck. (In my defense, back when there was touch icing it usually ended up in a race between two players with a lot of snow being created at the far wall).

Not as bad as me thinking “freezing” the puck literally meant the goalie had covered it long enough that the puck froze to the ice. My lil brain knew the physics of it didn’t make sense, but I couldn’t wrap my mind around it just being a phrase.

 

[Porkleaker]

Not as bad as me thinking “freezing” the puck literally meant the goalie had covered it long enough that the puck froze to the ice. My lil brain knew the physics of it didn’t make sense, but I couldn’t wrap my mind around it just being a phrase.

Freezing or whiffing, exactly what RNH and Chiasson do on the Oilers Powerplay.

 

[cowboy82nd]

"Rub a guy out"

When you go into the boards with an opposing team's player and relieve him of a hard object using your body

Sick

 

[doublechili]

Trap: what the other team played when your team gets shut out.

 

[NyQuil]

Cycling the Puck: When the referee exchanges the current puck for a new one.

Shotblocking: When a player refuses a COVID-19 vaccination.

Pulls the Goalie: When someone loves the goalie very much.....(blocked)...and then they smoke a cigarette together afterwards.

 

[TheOtherOne]

Waffleboard: The randomly selected board section which, when checked, rewards fans sitting behind it with waffles.
"Seider crushes McDavid against the waffleboard! And here comes the waffle guy to reward the lucky fans in that section!"

 

[AngryMilkcrates]

Shootout: In the case of a tie after 60 minutes of regulation and 5 minutes of overtime, opposing teams goaltenders congregate at center ice with their backs facing each other. When the go ahead is given by the PA announcer, they will skate 10 strides, at which time they are to turn and hurl milk crates at each other. This goes on until one of the goaltenders is knocked unconscious, losing his team the game.

Tuukka Rask is considered the master of this part of the game, having an undefeated record. His whereabouts are currently unknown.

 

[Stony Curtis]

TOP SHELF: When a goalie is scored upon in the upper part of the net, he will often feel the need to drown his sorrows in liquor. Since most pro hockey players earn salaries in the top 1%, they can afford the best liquor that money can buy. Since the most expensive liquor is usuall displayed higher up from the floor, it is often called top shelf liquor. If a goalie is scored upon over and over and over and over again, the league may have to help him find a top shelf rehab.

 

[Beauner]

First Round Draft Pick: A coupon the Penguins can turn in each year to get a player who can score besides Crosby, Malkin and Guentzel