Crapshootin! Deuce's mockery of a draft

firstroundbust

lacks explosiveness
Mar 3, 2004
5,641
0
Parts Unknown
After many minutes deliberating, reading posts by rampant homers, ingesting Windsor Canadian and Percocet from a recent car accident, I am pleased to bring you my vision of what will transpire tomorrow night in Columbus.

1. Chicago - Kyle Turris...Yes we know Kane is the top ranked guy, but sometimes the top ranked guy doesn't always go first. Turris and Toews? Scary stuff.
2. Philly - James Van Riemsdyk...To me, he's got Flyer written all over him, despite Kane being there.
3. Phoenix - Patrick Kane...its a gift for a hard luck organization, but they also dish out a 2nd rounder to make sure Flyer GM Paul Holmgren sticks with JVR, leaving Kane available with the 3rd.
4. LA - Karl Alzner...Best D in the draft, and will team up with Jack Johnson in the near future on the kings blueline.
5. Washington...Mikael Backlund...a surprise yes, but the Caps like the idea of Semin/Ovy/Backstrom/Backlund as 4 of their top 6.
6. Edmonton...Jakub Voracek...Edmonton fans are delighted with this pick, yet in a year or two they will yell for him to shoot more often.
7. Columbus...Ryan Macdonagh...I believe the Jackets have him as the number 2 D in the draft, and select Minnesota's Mr. Hockey.
8. Boston...Alexei Cherepanov...a game breaker or a pain in the ass? There is too much talent to pass up here, and lets face it, a combination of Cherepanov and Kessel could be pretty potent for years to come.
9. St. Louis...Sam Gagner...yes he falls this far, but Da Blues are happy as Tkachuk at Old Country Buffet to scoop him up.
10. Florida...Colton Gillies...I know I'll get heat for this...but after seeing what Brent Burns has become in Minnesota, the Panthers will take the similarly skilled Gillies because of the higher upside on the blueline.
11. Carolina...Kevin Shattenkirk...Considered the most offensively skilled D in the draft by some, the Canes bolster a relatively weak defensive prospect cupboard.
12. Montreal...Angelo Esposito...Its almost to easy of a trap to fall in, but Espo stays in Quebec. Whether the Montreal media provides a kick in the ass or ruins his life is another question.
13. Toronto...Logan Couture...Despite the up and down draft year, the Leafs take the skilled 2 way center.
14. Colorado...Billy Sweatt...again, another trap here- but the fastest skater in the draft will be an nhler; its a matter of what role he plays. The Avs can watch him develop right under their noses at CC.
15. Edmonton...Alex Plante...first Voracek, and now a big addition for the blueline if it isn't traded for a roster player. I'd imagine either this pick or the 30th is involved in a deal for immediate help.
16. Anaheim...Nick Petrecki...just like JVR is a philly guy, Petrecki is a smash mouth guy that Brian Burke gets off on. Makes Anaheim scarier.
17. New York...Maxim Mayorov...Gotta admit, I know little, and just kinda threw him in here. Sorry rags fans.
18. Calgary...Max Pacioretty...Crash and Bang kind of guy, and I knew his stock was rising. Also I felt it was necessary to avoid the Sutter name trap.
19. Minnesota...Thomas Hickey...Chief of Scouting Tommy Thompson recently hinted that the Wild will draft for need, and I think Hickey is the best d available...also I have a mancrush on the player oft compared to Keith Ballard.
20. Pittsburgh...Lars Eller...BPA...but his ability to play the wing makes him look pretty good next to Crosby/Malkin/Staal.
21. Phoenix...Keaton Ellerby...He falls hard, but has a big upside. Bring your suntan Keaton.
22. Montreal...David Perron...Impressive during the Q playoffs; great puckhandler and because of his age makes him a bit closer to development in Hamilton.
23. Philly...Brandon Sutter...Defensively responsible, a guy you win championships with. Meanwhile tears fall in Viking, Alberta.
24. St. Louis...Jon Blum...The Blues got to take him if he's around at the 24th.
25. Vancouver...Joakim Andersson...The speedy defensive forward brings depth to a now defense-first team.
26. St. Louis...Dana Tyrell...a team first guy who is accountable in both ends who can score some goals. Either him or some relatively unknown high schooler that Jarmo the Scout found.
27. Detroit...Kevin Marshall...Outside of Jakub Kindl, their defensive prospects aren't anything to write home about; enter the fiesty by-any-means defenseman in the shutdown mold.
28. Washington...Akim Aliu...A bull out there, and the Caps feel his on-ice presence outweighs his character issues.
29. Ottawa...Logan Macmillan...a dominant playoffs are enough to get Logan into the first round, and into a sens jersey.
30. Edmonton...Joel Gistedt...like I said, if this pick isn't traded, they come away with help at all 3 positions in the first round.

I know, it sucks, so flame away.
 

whatthef

Failure is an Option
Mar 1, 2007
4,683
40
Upper Darby
The Flyers traded the 23rd pick back to nashville. I would be awesome if the Flyers got a pick just not to sellect a player though.
 

Ghost of jas

Unsatisfied
Feb 27, 2002
27,188
13,601
NJ
17. New York...Maxim Mayorov...Gotta admit, I know little, and just kinda threw him in here. Sorry rags fans.

Nothing to be sorry about. The Rangers had no problem taking Anisimov last year. He fell in part to the fear about the transfer agreement.) I don't see them worrying taking Mayorov this year IF in their minds, he's the best player on the board.
 

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