Bruins turn to Voodoo to solve scoring woes

[Vaive-Alive]

What a difference a year makes.The Bruins apparently have gone from one of the highest scoring teams in the HFNHL in the 09/10 season - to THE LOWEST scoring team in the entire league. In 7 games played, the Bruins have yet to reach that elusive double-digit Goals For tally on the season. When asked about this GM Kruegs stated," Did I miss the memo? Is there a secret sauce to score goals in this new virtual hockey universe? Our core scorers from last year are still on the roster - what the $#@! is going on!?! Averaging more than a goal per game seems as hypothetical to us as the z-axis was to Homer in the Treehouse of Horror VI episode." As a result, GM Kruegs called in Voodoo expert Epiphany Proudfoot who made the players make pin-cushion dolls of the most feared goaltenders in the HFNHL. Reporters were asked to leave when the chicken feet came out and the chanting began, but as they left the facility faint murmurs of "Miller....Miller...." could be heard eminating from the locker room. The Bruins play the Sabres next.

Bobby Orr
Boston Globe

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[Brock]

Is Epiphany available to come to Florida?

 

[Vaive-Alive]

(AP)

Game plan adjusted to high offense. Result: 3 goals in 2 games. Two more losses. From Eastern Conference Finalist in 2010 to Eastern Conference Chump in 2011. Fans - these Bruins may look like last years Bruins - but they sure don't play like them. When asked about the continued poor performance of his squad, GM Kruegs had this to say...

Quote:

<speechless>

<crickets>

End Quote.

Voodoo is not enough. How will GM Kruegs right the wrongs and steer this ship back into winning seas? Stay tuned fans - I smell a crazy Ivan coming at the bottom of the hour and you won't want to miss it.

Bobby Orr
Boston Globe

 

[Ohio Jones]

If it's any consolation, you shouldn't have won last year either.

Just sayin'.

I'll certainly be interested to see the results of the rumoured "Crazy Ivan". In the words of a cooler man than I, "One PING only..."

 

[Vaive-Alive]

If it's any consolation, you shouldn't have won last year either.

Just sayin'.

I'll certainly be interested to see the results of the rumoured "Crazy Ivan". In the words of a cooler man than I, "One PING only..."

Right...

Any other cheap shots from the peanut gallery?

Making a Voodoo doll of you now Douglas...!

 

[Ohio Jones]

Right...

Any other cheap shots from the peanut gallery?

Making a Voodoo doll of you now Douglas...!

Bring it on, Kreugs.