Game 6, The Musical!
Enter Seventies Lord, wearing a house coat and bunny slippers. He sits on a chair and smokes a pipe.
70slord: It was only a year past, I went to a board,
a place where leafs fans like me, seventieslord
would talk of their heroes, and plan their parade
but several smart cookies saw through this charade!
The present they saw was a sore sight to see
so I got them talking about history!
I'm sure you agree, it's a credit to me,
that now we're a part of the
AAAAAAAA TTTTTTTTTTT DDDDDD!
In the first ATD, with my HFBoards know how
I built a team, that I think most would allow
was the best overall, the pride of Regina
On April 1st I drafted a player with a......long history of international achievements for Canada.
With 20 teams now, it's been brought up a peg, I see
and this time, no one drafted Manny Legace
Of these 20 teams, only two remain,
they are about to play their 6th game!
We'll give you that game, at whatever the cost
but first, let's hear from the GMs that lost!
Chuck Norris: My forwards were soft!
Manda: My defense all looked lost!
Gipper: Picking Malkin crippled my team!
Loxcane: All my stars were on defense!
Leafyy: Dressing Draper made no sense!
Vin: Couldn't score on St. Patrick, it seems!
SOW: Too many times on the reach list!
Joyzee: Too many picks missed!
Armster: Got burned trading for number one!
Sakic91: Brodeur's overrated!
HHH: A first round matchup we hated!
Jarek: After that series, my team was done!
Can Opener: Besides center, my team's toast!
Commie Ninja: Hull hates playing Provost!
TKabs: I guess Schmidt's not God!
TI: The system was flawed!
Detox: Yes, arguing with Dreakmur is paaaaaaaaaain
Dreakmur: I'm glad to be here in the ATD final!
Spinner: And I'm glad to be back again!
70slord: So strap on your helmets, and hold on to your sticks,
Spinner leads 3-2, and we're set for game six!
Enter players from both teams in full gear.
Enter Josef Kompalla, carrying the puck
Josef Kompalla: And now to begin, you boys best play nice!
No hits from behind, keep your sticks on the ice!
Mikita: And why in the effing, hell is he reffing?
Firsov: Do not worry comrade, he doesn't think I'm bad!
Kompalla: Alright now, good luck, I'm dropping the puck!
Lach: The faceoff, I won it
Pilote: He's coming, get on it!
Mantha: Never fear, I delivered a hit!
Pilote: Well there goes an outlet pass,
to the Bomber, he skates fast
Conacher: I took the first shot on net!
Bower: You can't score that easy!
Hall: I'm feeling real queasy
I think I might run to the john.
H. Pulford: You already went there.
Hall: Alright, your point's fair
all my stomach contents are gone.
But here come the Chiefs, this attack won't be brief
But I promise you boys, I'll stand tall!
I'm the one and only, the true "Mr. Goalie"
All Spartans: Yes Heeeeeeee's Glennnnnnnn Halllllllllllll!
enter Seventieslord
70slord: And so went the first, neither team looking worse
it seems like a goaltending battle
but all same, let's get back to the game, enough of hearing my prattle!
Now where did we leave off when we saw the curtains fall?
Dreakmur: I believe we were talking about Mr. Goalie, Glenn Hall.
sound of needle scratching a record
Howe: Mr. Goalie you say? I'll do you one better
I'm Mr. Hockey, that's my name to the letter!
Not Mr. Forward, or Mr. Right Wing
I'm Mr. Hockey, that's right, the whole thing!
And why do they give me this prestigious title?
Because I do everything, my presence is vital!
I throw hits! (thump!)
I work corners! (smack!)
I send passes! (Hey Gordie!)
I score goals!
Foster Hewitt: He shoots, he scores, and the crowd goes insane!
Adams: Yes, Gordie's the best, to see it is plain!
It's only one goal, that's a credit to Hall,
but we're up 1-0, hey thanks China Wall!
Bower: You said my name sir, a name that is apt,
a reflection of all of the pucks that I've trapped
playing hockey, with no Mongolians to keep out...
Dave Bidini: Have you read my book? That's what it's about!
Everyone laughs. Dave Bidini leaves awkwardly, as the pit band plays "The Ballad Of Wendel Clark"
70slord: One more frame to go, and I'd like to get crackin'
but the Hot Stove is on, god damn that Al Strachan!
Mikita: Our season's on the line, we must score
we must find a way to break down the China Wall
Fetisov: Victory's within our grasp, we must defend
we must fina a way to stooooop them alllllllllll
Mikita: I'll fire a shot!
Conacher: And a shot!
Firsov: And a shot!
Cook: And a shot!
Bower: But fools, I'll stop them all!
I'll make saves on most, get help from the post
while our shot-blockers answer the call!
Patrick: From start to the end, the play's in their end
I'm sure that my players will score!
Yes, that Johnny Bower's a tower of Bower, but how long will he shut us out for?
Mikita: the clock's winding down, let's take this to town!
Hall: And I'll go for an extra man!
Fetisov: I'm sure Jolly Jack, we'll be on my back,
taking penalties wasn't the plan.
Leetch: It's a 6 on 4, a chance now to score!
Pilote: I'll try to set Conacher up!
Bower: I'll kick out a toe, and whaddya know, it's a stop.
Gilmour: I'll grab the rebound, and fire it down
as far away as it can get
but where did it go?
Lo and behold
it went into the empty net
the game, it is done, it seems we have won!
It seems that we're going to be
The champions
Johnny Bower: The Champions!
Gordie Howe: The Champions of the ATD!
All Chiefs: The Champions, the champions, of the ATD
ooooooooof theeeeeee AAAAAAA TTTTTTT DDDDDDDDD
All exit, and return for a curtain call, as pit band play "the Hockey song" Dreakmur and Spinner are the last to take their bow, and are given a standing ovation.