"We Didn't Make the Playoffs" - a parody of "We Didn't Start the Fire" and tribute to the 2006-2016 Leafs by seventieslord, with help from isophagus.
This was the end result of a thread in the Leafs' section called "name a player from the bad old days".
I tried to be as true to the original song as I could, as far as syllables are concerned. I got lazier towards the end. This is harder than it looks. For best effect, listen to the song as you read this, then check the real lyrics.
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Jeff O'Neill, Aki Berg, Ken Klee, Johnny Pohl,
Staffan Kronwall, Erik Westrum, Colaiacovo
Nathan Perrott, Eric Lindros, Kyle Wellwood, Ryan Hollweg,
Kris Newbury, Michael Peca and Andre Deveaux
Hamiltons, Stalberg, Bradley May, Suglobov,
Ondrus, Ian White, and that old Czerkawski guy
Pavel Ku-been, Sundin's got a new team,
Oreskovic, Richardson, Tie Domi goodbye
We didn't make the playoffs
No we never tanked it
Always tried to make it
We didn't make the playoffs
No we couldn't make it
Always tried to fake it
Matty Stajan, Antropov, Foster and Khavanov
Mikael Tellqvist, Eddie Belfour, Andrew Raycroft
Hal Gill, Robbie Earl, Ponikarovsky, Hagman
Chad Kilger's scandal, Boyd Devereaux
Leafs' pick Brad Boyes, scoring for another team
Anton Stralman, Mark Bell, Jonas Frogren, Stapleton
Rosehill, Stempniak, Johnny Mitchell, Luke Schenn
Darryl Boyce, Jason Blake, Jiri Tlusty's penis
We didn't make the playoffs
No we never tanked it
Always tried to make it
We didn't make the playoffs
No we couldn't make it
Always tried to fake it
Jeff Finger, what a guy, signed by Fletcher's failing mind
Justin Pogge never played, what a solid choice we made
Brian Burke comes in, says he wants more truculence
Brings in Mike Brown, skill level of team goes down
Joseph Bernier Clemmensen, Gerber Pogge Gustavsson
Maurice Wilson, what the heck, none worse than Pete Horachek
Tim Brent, Exelby, Kulemin and Connolly
Battaglia, Perreault, Andy Woz's eyebrows
We didn't make the playoffs
No we never tanked it
Always tried to make it
We didn't make the playoffs
No we couldn't make it
Always tried to fake it
Signing David Clarkson, Nonis was a strange man,
Zach Sill, Ranger, Kostka on the top pair
Robidas, injury, on the island he will be
Stralman turned out OK, now he plays for Tampa Bay
Dion with Avery's ex, called him out for "sloppy secs"
JFJ, Rask for Ray, what else do I have to say?
We didn't make the playoffs
No we never tanked it
Always tried to make it
We didn't make the playoffs
No we couldn't make it
Always tried to fake it
Vesa comes to save the day, who needs draft picks anyway?
Logan Couture, coulda looked good here
Begin rebuild just in time, Bozak on the top line
Tyler Biggs, England now, thought he would be Lucic now?
Roman Polak, Richard Clune, Komisarek, what a goon
Foreign vets in the nets, Gustavsson, what a mess
Joffrey Lupul on his yacht, well at least he's kinda hot
Frazer Mac, Colton Orr, I can't take it anymore!