Armchair GM Playoffs- Semi-Finals- Gentlemen Bastards (2) vs A Bunch of Jabronis (3)

Winger for Hire

Praise Beebo
Dec 9, 2013
13,058
1,692
Quarantine Zone 5
Gentlemen Bastards

Fowards
Keith Tkachuk - Mario Lemieux - Brett Hull
Ray Whitney - Peter Stastny - Pavel Bure
Patrik Elias - Peter Forsberg - Glenn Anderson
Chris Kunitz - Guy Carbonneau - Blake Wheeler

Defense
PK Subban - Kevin Lowe
Brad McCrimmon - Andrei Markov
Niklas Kronwall - Roman Hamrlik

Goalies
Curtis "Cujo" Joesph
John Vanbiesbrouck

Press Box
Phil Kessel - Brent Sutter - Calle Johansson - Tie Domi

Powerplay
Bure/Elias--Lemieux--Anderson
Subban--Hull

Tkachuk--Stastny--Hull/Lemieux
Markov--Hamrlik

Penalty Kill
Carbonneau-Elias
Lowe-McCrimmon

Forsberg-Lemieux
Markov-Kronwall


vs

The Skating Jabronis

Forwards
Ovechkin - Malkin - Tarasenko
Krutov - Larianov - Makarov
Giroux- LaFontaine - Recchi
Drury - Getzlaf - Perry

Defense
Lidstrom - Keith
Fetisov - Kasatonov
Ozolinsh - Boyle

Goalies
Quick
Vernon

Press Box
Backstrom - Loob - Reinhart - Miller
 
Last edited:

KIRK

Registered User
Aug 2, 2005
109,700
51,216
Adding this here. Skating Jabronis PP and PK . . .

Special Teams: The Skating Jabronis PP units consist (a) of their 1st line and Ozolinsh-Boyle (Ovechkin left circle, Malkin right circle, Ozolinsh and Boyle up top, Tarasenko down low) and (b) of the KLM line with Lidstrom and Fetisov (a more roving, less stationary PP with a lot of player interchanging). On the PK, lead units include Giroux-Drury and Getzlaf-Perry and Larianov-Krutov up front and Lidstrom-Keith and Fetisov-Kasatonov on the blue line.
 

KIRK

Registered User
Aug 2, 2005
109,700
51,216
@Winger for Hire, best of luck. This is a really tough matchup for the Skating Jabronis.

- I think Quick gives us the advantage in net.

- Once again, our strategy will be to ride Lidstrom, Keith, and Fetisov with monster minutes. We don't plan to deploy our 5th and 6th defensemen much, a la Chicago during its recent cup runs. You may see Ozolinsh-Boyle as a pairing a few times a game in protected situations, but more likely you'll see those two playing individually with one of the big three for a partner (e.g., Lidstrom-Ozolinsh or Keith-Boyle). I think with THIS defensive deployment, the Skating Jabronis have an advantage on defense.

- The Tkachuk-Lemieux-Hull line is a matchup nightmare for the Skating Jabronis. Obviously, it's an incredible line, but I'll admit the Skating Jabronis specifically don't match up as well as another team might. Really, the best option MIGHT be to throw the Russian 5 out against Tkachuk-Lemieux-Hull and to defend by not giving up the puck. The 2nd best option probably is to try Drury-Getzlaf-Perry-Lidstrom-Keith as a five man unit.

- I think however deployed, the KLM line/Russian Five may give the Gentlemen Bastards some matchup issues of their own.

- I think Ovechkin-Malkin-Tarasenko matches up favorably against the Gentlemen Bastards lines 2-4. That's not to say anything will come easy. Quite the contrary. I just don't see a 'we've got to avoid this matchup' with any of those three lines. By the way, I don't like the matchup against Tkachuk-Lemieux-Hull.

- While Giroux-LaFontaine-Recchi is the third line and Drury-Getzlaf-Perry is the fourth line, I expect coaches to give both lines comparable minutes when I consider the line versus line matchups with the Gentlemen Bastards.

- I think a Kunitz-Carbonneau-Kessel line can be exploited.

- The refs swallowing whistles to spite Mario would, on balance, work to the Skating Jabronis advantage.

Add it all up, and I think this one comes down to the big Tkachuk-Lemieux-Hull advantage for the Gentlemen Bastards versus the scoring depth, blueline, and goaltending advantages for the Skating Jabronis.

As I said, best of luck @Winger for Hire. This is one hell of a matchup.
 
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Winger for Hire

Praise Beebo
Dec 9, 2013
13,058
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Quarantine Zone 5
Best of luck to you, @KIRK. We should have ourselves a slobberknocker here.

Before I really look into the matchup, I'm going to make 2 lineup tweeks:
  1. Wheeler will come into the lineup for Kessel, making the 4th line a complete 200ft line that will get dirty in the corners, forecheck like demons, and make every inch of ice gained a battle
  2. I'm flipping Whitney and Elias. Giving Stastny and Bure a true set-up man and making Foppa's line a more solid line that's capable of scoring and defending at a near elite level. It also get two pass heavy players away from each other to get more pucks on net, for both lines
I think this makes both Mario's line and Forsberg's line well equipped to handle matching up vs either Russian line. However I think it also makes Stastny's line a little more susceptible from a defensive and physical side, but the trade off is making it much more dynamic offensively.

Those top two D pairings of the Jabronis are going to be very tough nuts to crack. I think a key to that will be making them turn and retrieve pucks and sending someone to bear down on them. There's a guy on each line, sans Stastny Line, that can achieve this (Tkachuk, Elias, Anderson, Wheeler, Kunitz) and will be used most times a clean entry on the table.

More analysis to come, but I have some work to do... to be continued...
 

Shady Machine

Registered User
Aug 6, 2010
36,691
8,111
I will likely get called out for sour grapes (and can certainly understand why after my embarrassing sweep at the hands of the Russian 5), but in my view, the Russian 5 should be primarily judged on their NHL performance.

Anyway, here are my quick hitter thoughts:
-Lemieux, Stastny, Forsberg IMO is the best 1-3 center punch in the league although Skating Jabronis has Getzlaf at 4C which is pretty insane
-Skating Jabronis has the best 1st pairing in the league and probably give them the edge there overall
-Goaltending probably goes to Skating Jabronis but we aren't talking about a major difference IMO although I tended to discount goaltending a bit in this league
-Skating Jabronis has the real life chemistry thing going which is a bonus but overall, I pick the Gentleman Bastards forward lineup.

Likely a tight series and could depend on the old men Russian 5 bringing back the magic of their non NHL primes (again this is my view and probably not shared by others).
 

TropicalFruitGirl2

A Peachy Hockey Gal!
Feb 23, 2013
6,823
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Minneapolis-St. Paul, MN
A couple quick hits from me...."

Two good teams up front....but for some reason, the Jabronis look to me like they have at least THREE top lines in there, starting with the Ovechkin top line, the second Russian line could be just that, a very good 2nd, and the third line led by LaFontaine, man, THAT could be a first line...and the freakin 4th line could also be a first line on many squads...they not only bring top line production, but can be tough as hell on the physical side of things led by Ryan Getzlaf!

The GB's aren't slouches with Super Mario's top line, but honestly, lines 1-4 and all the players in each position there, I think the Jabronis are pretty damned awesome...seemingly no weaknesses.

The BIGGEST different, however, I believe is in the defense and goaltending, and this is where I think the Jabronis can really separate themselves.
The GB's have good D-men of course, but they seem centered on hard hitting, intimidation, with a bit offense (not bad at all!), however, the Jabronis look to not only have enough toughness back there (less than the GB's, but enough), but they have uber smarts, speed, and I believe, would generate more offense to help out the already awesome front lines from the backend.

And goalies?
Beezer and Cujo can hold their own against anyone, but there is a reason why guys like Quick and Vernon have Stanley Cup rings: they bring it every night, steal games they aren't supposed to win, can be fiery, and even when the team in front of them isn't playing particularly well, can inspire by playing godlike goal at their best!
 

Winger for Hire

Praise Beebo
Dec 9, 2013
13,058
1,692
Quarantine Zone 5
Game One of the series saw the stars coming out early. The KLM draw first blood with Krutov hammering home a feed from Larianov. Not to be outdone, Malkin decided to go coast-to-coast only to dish to a trailing Tarasenko at the last minute for an empty net tap in. Momentum was broken when Recchi was called for holding. The Bastards' power play peppered Quick with shots from all angles and distances. Finally, with the penalty ready to expire, Stastny was able to find the soft spot in the Jabroni's defense and fired a wrister off of Quick's blocker and in. Perry opened the third period in style with a rebound goal prompting the Bastards to surprisingly make a goalie change. The Bastards responded by having a fire lit under them. Mario hooked up Hull with a perfect feed for a one timer from circle. Kronwall caught Makarov with his patented ass-check at the blueline to send Whitney and Bure the other way on a 2-on-2 against Fetisov and Boyle. Whitney dished over Boyle's stick to Bure who found a late trailing Hamrlik for a goal. The Jabronis called for a coaches challenge to see if Whitney cutting across the crease got a piece of Quick. The goal was upheld. The Malkin line got caught in the zone for an extended shift iced the puck. Sensing a chance to keep the pressure on, the Bastards sent out Mario-Forsberg-Hull-Subban-Markov. That firepower ended up being not needed as Mario slapped the faceoff towards the net and threw Quick's legs to seal Game One.

Game Two saw the Russian contingent of the Jabronis continue to give the Bastards trouble. Ovechkin put up a powerplay marker, Larianov found the scoresheet, and Kasatonov floated a shot through traffic and past a screen Beezer. Glenn Anderson got one back, tipping a Markov shot past Quick. Ovechkin tallied his second off the rush and sent the Bastards back to the goalie merry-go-round. However, this didn't spark the same team reaction. Giroux potted a goal cutting between the circles and Keith got one home after a power move around Kunitz and drove the net hard on Cujo. Mario got a goal on the powerplay late in the third, but not enough to mount any kind of comeback.

Game Three had the momentum the Jabronis built carry over. LaFontaine tallied his first followed by Ovechkin continuing to find the back of the net. Forsberg was able to find a streaking Elias who beat Quick over the blocker to get the Bastards going. The Jabronis' brick wall defense was up to the task of turning back the Bastards' onslaught. Recchi disrupted a breakout attempt by Lowe which allowed LaFontaine to walk in all alone on Cujo and beat him five-hole. Hull fired home another weakside one-timer to pull back to one down. Cujo was pulled for the extra attacked and Subban fired a point shot wide that went around the boards, out of the zone, and Drury outraced Subban for the empty netter.

Game Four finally saw the Bastards not start on the back foot. The Mario line finally was able to hold productive zone time and Tkachuk found paydirt with a wrist shot. Krutov almost answered immediately, but found the iron twice. Mario showed why he was taken 1st overall and danced his way around defenders before going backhand, forehand past Quick. The Jabronis were then able to get a favorable matchup on an offensive zone draw. Carbonneau's line got matched-up vs the KLM line and was quickly punished with clinic in puck possession for 45 seconds before Makarov feed Lidstrom for a slapper that beat Cujo. With the extra attacker, the Jabronis were able to tie the game up in the final minute with Malkin finding Makarov with a full head of steam coming off the bench and using Hamrlik as a screen to beat Cujo high glove. The start of OT was a back and forth dump and chase, each team hoping to get the other's defense to make a mistake. Unsurprisingly this didn't work as both bluelines held their composure and masterfully cleared their zone each time. The breakthrough came after the midperiod slush cleaning gave a decent sheet of ice for Stastny to hit Bure with a pass to send him 1-on-1 with Keith. Bure fended off a strong stick check and just got around Keith enough to get a good backhand shot off and through Quick.

In Game Five The Bastards' came out hot. Forsberg netted a goal midway through the first and Mario capitalized on an interference call on Giroux by lighting the lamp. Anderson was then sent to he box for goalie interference, resulting in an Ozolinsh goal. The KLM line then came alive again knotting the game up with another Makarov goal. Early in the third, Hull faked everyone in the arena out by taking a Mario pass and faking a slapper with everyone and their mother committing, and finding Markov pinching into the vacant space to get a free shot on an overcommitted Quick. Wheeler gets in on the action by capitalizing on a favorable offensive zone start and battling in front of the net for loose pucks and getting rewarded with a goal. The Jabronis make a last push to close the gap, but get turned away.

Game Six shows the Jabronis' resolve. The Bastards make a push early on to end this quick, but leave themselves exposed to counterattacks. Malkin and Ovechkin team up to capitalize on the first counter, Malkin feeding Ovie, and then LaFontaine's line jailbreaks for a 3-on-1 that ends with a Recchi goal. The Bastards regroup to shore up their defense, but the damage is done. They need to keep pressing and allow two more goals, Tarasenko and Lidstrom. Elias get the Bastards from getting goose egg'd but the series is tied and goes to the winner takes all Game Seven.

Game Seven starts off with both teams making the push to get their nose out in front. The first handful of minutes are quick rushes that end in one shot and the puck being turned back the other way. Hull misses the first golden chance of the night, firing too high on a downed Quick. The Jabronis get their own chance after Lowe stumbles and gives up an odd man break. Cujo comes up big and gloves a Giroux shot. The Jabronis get one more golden chance with the KLM line and Krutov beating Cujo cleanly, but not the far side post. Things settle down after that chance and possession hockey comes back into style. Getzlaf finds Perry in the slot to break the deadlock. Three minutes later, Bure gets stoned on a breakway, however Whitney trails behind to clean up the rebound and put us back to even. Malkin then takes an offensive zone holding call to put the Bastards on the powerplay. Subban pump fakes a slapper then sends soft wrister towards the net. Giroux gets his body in front of it to knock it away, however it falls right to Mario who fires true. Early in the 3rd, the Bastards get put on the powerplay again. Subban gets greedy and tries to bomb point shots home. Getzlaf reads his next one and get PK to fire one right into his shin pads. Subban falls trying to recover and stop the puck from going out of the zone, sending Getzlaf and Perry free on a 2-on-0. Cujo is helpless as Perry gets an easy tap-in at the side of the net. With that jolt of energy, the KLM line gets to work and makes the offensive zone their playground, but not being able to find that last pass or squeeze that shot home. With around 8 minutes left in the 3rd, Anderson is able to dish to Forsberg behind the net who skates in on Quick after dangling around Kasatonov and puts a shot just over the left pad. For the final 8 minutes the Bastards fall into a defensive shell and make the Jabronis work enter the zone and possession in the zone is short lived. Quick is pulled at the 1:30 mark and Makarov joins Malkin, Ovie, Recchi, Lidstrom, and LaFontaine to lay siege to Cujo in hopes of forcing OT. Carbonneau, Forsberg, Anderson, McCrimmon, Lowe get pinned in for almost that entire 1:30, desperately defending their net. In the final 20 seconds, Malkin finds Ovechkin partly open cross ice, a dead tired McCrimmon does the only thing he can to prevent a high percentage shot. He turns and take a two handed chop to the shaft of Ovie's stick, breaking it just before he can receive the puck. This allows Forsberg to gain control, the play to whistle dead and the Bastards to get 4 fresh bodies on the ice for the final 17 seconds. The resulting faceoff is won by Mario, back to Kronwall who send the puck the full length of the ice, sealing the series.

Gentlemen Bastards win 4-3
 

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