An Apology to Mike Sullivan

[Mr. T]

Good good! This is a VERY promising start. A few notes though if I may, just to start.

You need to start out a BIT more coherent. I LOVE that the implication here is that you are already zonked on like 5 different prescription meds and half a suitcase of Boosh light by 11AM but you need to work up to it a bit. Start off unhinged but with SOME clarity. Then get progressively more in the bag as the inevitable debate goes on.

Also... and this is a creative choice... but I would encourage you to ALWAYS stick up for the coach, GM, etc. Appeals to authority are important because they let everyone know that you don't actually have any original ideas and rely on someone else to think for you and that you are terrified of the idea that the people in charge don't actually know what they are doing most of the time.

Again... terrific stuff. Wheelhouse, baby.

Good, good. I can gradually work in the paranoia. Build that tenuous connection between a former third line player from the mid-90's and how my local grocery store is trying to mind-control me with a specific arrangement of cereal boxes.

I have to disagree on sticking up for anyone in leadership. If I hate them, I'm standing up to "the man" (because I'm an independent rebel). In addition, I am smarter than the people in charge and I always have the correct answer that "the man" is too stupid (and weak and not masculine enough) to see. It's similar to the reason why I can only like former players - no one can refute my point of "If they were still on the Penguins, they'd be great!"

Be right back, my pills are kicking in and I need to go corner my neighbor and explain about the suspicious people that I saw or dreamed in the neighborhood yesterday.

 

[BlindWillyMcHurt]

Good, good. I can gradually work in the paranoia. Build that tenuous connection between a former third line player from the mid-90's and how my local grocery store is trying to mind-control me with a specific arrangement of cereal boxes.

I have to disagree on sticking up for anyone in leadership. If I hate them, I'm standing up to "the man" (because I'm an independent rebel). In addition, I am smarter than the people in charge and I always have the correct answer that "the man" is too stupid (and weak and not masculine enough) to see. It's similar to the reason why I can only like former players - no one can refute my point of "If they were still on the Penguins, they'd be great!"

Be right back, my pills are kicking in and I need to go corner my neighbor and explain about the suspicious people that I saw or dreamed in the neighborhood yesterday.

Bravo. I would usually push back on some creative choices but as I touched briefly on the other day this isn't just ANY talent I'm coaching up, here. It reminds me of a young Richard Burton taking the baton from Olivier. Your method is sound and I would encourage you to take it and run with it. Godspeed little doodle... you have outgrown my tutelage.

 

[Mario_is_BACK!!]

It's truly an honor to be witnessing the birth of something great in my thread. @BlindWillyMcHurt @Mr. T

 

[HandshakeLine]

Bravo. I would usually push back on some creative choices but as I touched briefly on the other day this isn't just ANY talent I'm coaching up, here. It reminds me of a young Richard Burton taking the baton from Olivier. Your method is sound and I would encourage you to take it and run with it. Godspeed little doodle... you have outgrown my tutelage.

Under the tutelage of Randy Tutelege.

 

[HandshakeLine]

Good, good. I can gradually work in the paranoia. Build that tenuous connection between a former third line player from the mid-90's and how my local grocery store is trying to mind-control me with a specific arrangement of cereal boxes.

I have to disagree on sticking up for anyone in leadership. If I hate them, I'm standing up to "the man" (because I'm an independent rebel). In addition, I am smarter than the people in charge and I always have the correct answer that "the man" is too stupid (and weak and not masculine enough) to see. It's similar to the reason why I can only like former players - no one can refute my point of "If they were still on the Penguins, they'd be great!"

Be right back, my pills are kicking in and I need to go corner my neighbor and explain about the suspicious people that I saw or dreamed in the neighborhood yesterday.

This is coming along quite well, but remember to dial back the self-awareness and instead to key in on that festering discontent that you can’t articulate to give it that special je ne sais quoi.

You might also want to consider creating an easily identifiable sock puppet to boost your comments and tell everyone how handsome and smart you are. When called on it, or discovered by a mod, don’t pull a TTEOT, but instead claim that it’s not pathetic, it’s all part of your master trolling psy-op, and anyway you’re just saying the real truth. You’re not scared, unlike everyone else, who is apparently scared of a message board post.

 

[Miro4Norris]

Does he even coach? He decided lines, PP unit and #1 goalie before season started and played them for rest of The year

 

[Big Friggin Dummy]

I'm sorry Mike. We should've fired you years ago. We were wrong, and we'll fix that as soon as possible.

 

[Big Friggin Dummy]

It's gross to read my posts in the 1st page, from April.

I'm a f***ing moron. I shouldn't be that correct about anything.

 

[metalan2]

The OP needs to enact his *first round sweep* clause in his apology note.

 

[MetalheadPenguinsFan]

I’m sorry for wasting any more time watching you get outcoached again and f*** your repeated refusals to adapt and shake shit up when it matters.

Go poison the Oilers core or something.

 

[Andy99]

I’m sorry you’re still here....go away

 

[Mario_is_BACK!!]

Lmao I was right before this thread is stupid

 

[KIRK]

It's gross to read my posts in the 1st page, from April.

I'm a f***ing moron. I shouldn't be that correct about anything.

If it makes you feel better, the 'Malkin is going to screw up this great team' hot take from the keyboard expert's burner account ranks with it.

 

[KIRK]

Lmao I was right before this thread is stupid

You and @ObsessedCreative man.

The second you posted this, I knew we were cooked.

The second he privately said (after game 3) the Pens might have a chance, I knew we were cooked.

Can one of you give me 20 Keno numbers so I can win the big prize for getting none right?