Everyone is fine.
Just picked the kids up from school. On the way back we hit a red light, and it's in a school zone so I'm already crawling. I coasted to a stop gently. Guy behind me gets roughly 3mm from my ass, so I gently pull forward a tick, and he follows suit. I make a mental note but do nothing. The light goes green and it immediately splits into 2 lanes until another red light a quarter mile up. Knowing of the approaching light, I make no rush to get there and casually roll up to the next light. Angry guy stays inches from my bumper the whole 1/4 mile and once again gets right up on me, and I still have no idea why. He probably could've just switched lanes but I digress.
I tell the kids that the guy behind us is really angry and in a big hurry, maybe he has to go to the bathroom. Light goes green and I scoot along because there's another split ahead and I need this lane. Finally this dude switches over to the right lane. He flies up beside us and swerves aggressively toward me to get my attention. I look over and he is absolutely losing it. Just screaming into the void with the angriest but most pathetic look I've ever seen on a grown ass man. Then he veers off to the right down another route, meaning he probably should have just been on that lane all along.
As he's screaming though, I made a calm down motion with my hands and laughed it off. Luckily the kids thought it was hilarious as well. I like to think that my warning and my reaction helped things along, and afterward it provided a nice teaching moment about driving and dealing with some people and their unnecessary aggression. Internally though, a wee bit unnerving.