The Unwritten Rules of Hockey

[Hockeylover]

I love hockey because it gives me the opportunity to be a bad boy. Off the ice, everybody finds me so respectful, diplomatic, gallant with women (opening the car door for them), etc. But I get sick and tired of it sometimes. So these are MY rules. I don't care if you follow them or not!!!

I try to shoot in the mask of my goalie during warm-up. It's a warm-up for me, and a wake-up for him!

During warm-ups, I like to go on the other half of the ice just to piss off the other players. The important is to not say a single word and go back right away where you belong cause you may get a penality.

I say, "I give you a ten!" to an opponent who faked a plunge on the floor.

When I am goalie, and when I have the ball in my glove, I put my glove in the opponent's face as if I was offering him it.

When the other's team is injured has to leave the game, my main goal is to injure the substitute. If the goalie stays, I'll try to hit him in the face or throat, with the ball, of course.

If the victory is out of reach and that's the ref's fault, I'll try to shoot the ball in his legs as hard as I can. Of course, it has to look like an accident. Someone mean would want to shoot the ball in his balls to give him a lesson. The lesson is that a ref should never give more chances to a team, even if their friends play on it.

If the opponent is not willing to be hurt, like I am sometimes hurt, then he should stay home and play hockey on Nitendo.

 

[xeric716x]

Black tape on the blade, white tape on the handle.

Don't be a clear tape mooch. Buy your own.

 

[Puckboy]

Amen.

For all you dmen, slapshots are fine, but use them sparingly, especially if you hit the net only about 5% of the time. Oh, and make sure there aren't several of your own players standing in front of the shot.

So is it ok for forwards to take slap shots all they want?

 

[Famous Flames]

So is it ok for forwards to take slap shots all they want?

Actually, there's probably even less reason for a forward to take a slapshot. I've played with few players that are even midly accurate.

 

[CaptBrannigan]

- Unless you are Alexander Ovechkin or Wayne Gretzky, the mirrored visor or 99 will get you killed. And they should.

Would you "kill" a guy with a knee brace because he has a weak knee? No. SO please don't kill me just because I found a way to compensate for weak vision.

Sidenote: Do those red contact lenses work, anyone know? And can you get them prescription?

One "rule" I haven't seen yet: Don't shoot high into an empty net unless you have to. This one dude I know likes to pop the water bottle on empty netters.

And this one should be written: The goalie gets the bench all to himself, nobody else should be dressing on the short bench.

 

[TBLfan]

Actually, USAH doesn't use a shoot-out, so there's nothing more I can add.

For a high stick, it's anything above shoulder height, not the goal crossbar. Rule 617(c).

We have shootouts in our league and we're under USAH.

But yeah, I was going to correct everyone, it's shoulder height. I doubt many of you are in a professional league, so it's shoulder height.

Schremp's shootout attempt was waaay illegal. One, the shot is released over his shoulder, but more importantly the puck is not constantly moving forward, which is illegal. It's close to constantly moving forward but I don't think it is, he needs to skate faster haha

 

[redwingsdude]

Mirrored visors make you see better?

I don't think it's that bad, but you better expect some **** coming your way if you wear one. You probably have an elvated ego to some degree if you need to wear a different visor than everyone else. Seriously, have you seen any modest players wearing one?

 

[Doctor Hook]

Do not make fun of people in really old equipment because chances are, they're better than you.

However, players who come into the locker room with equipment still in store bags and peeling off tags and stickers deserve some razzing

 

[Hockeylover]

Do not make fun of people in really old equipment because chances are, they're better than you.

However, players who come into the locker room with equipment still in store bags and peeling off tags and stickers deserve some razzing

The other day I had my Ken Dryden CH jersey on in the nets. Someone said, "That's old! We're in 2006!!".

 

[2x4*]

I think the mirror visor looks sweet. I'd buy one just to have it! Maybe wear it a few times, but I wouldnt wear it every game. It would be really cool though to wear it a few times. But yea I agree about the 99 thing. Same thing with 66 or 68 or 87. No one else really wears those numbers. 8 and 19 and such are just normal numbers... but those odd high numbers are "taken"

 

[SoundwaveIsCharisma]

Mirrored visors make you see better?

I don't think it's that bad, but you better expect some **** coming your way if you wear one. You probably have an elvated ego to some degree if you need to wear a different visor than everyone else. Seriously, have you seen any modest players wearing one?

Some of the colored visors actually do help vision for some players that get affected by glare, either off the ice or directly from arena lights. I know some of my teammates think some of those guys are having ego trips, but if there's even that slight chance that he needs that visor to help him play better, I'm not going to be the jerk that runs him for it.

 

[michaelb27]

"and that it's unnecessary showboating when you don't absolutely need the goal."

What kind of stupidity is that? Is this houseleague? If there's a goal...you take it! You play the same way when your up by 1 or up by 5. And your forgetting that hockey is about entertainment and I enjoy seeing fancy moves(that are effective!!!).

 

[Greeneye]

Not too many spectators at my house league games to impress...

 

[Doctor Hook]

Play like an ******, and expect to be treated like one.

If you're going to be a yapper, be prepared to back it up if challenged. Otherwise, shut the hell up. I've seen a lot of guys who talk trash on the ice, but when challenged, hide like little female dogs.

I'm in an aggressive mood because I haven't skated in over a week

 

[mac-sniper]

kirk maltby

 

[slapshotâ„¢]

Forwards & D can get a drink at the bench. My water bottle on the net isn't a team water bottle.

Maybe some of you disagree with that. Any other netminders here have this problem of running out of water?

 

[hockey_power]

usually if a girl is playing on a guys team (bantam/midget level age), you probably dont want to hit her, alot of people will think of you as a pansy hahaa

never shoot on the net AFTER the whistle blows.

 

[Ti-girl]

usually if a girl is playing on a guys team (bantam/midget level age), you probably dont want to hit her, alot of people will think of you as a pansy hahaa

never shoot on the net AFTER the whistle blows.

Why wouldn't you hit a girl? I mean no cheap shots but fair is fair.

 

[kingpin_19]

A little slash behind the play won't hurt anything. As long as Mr. Zebra don't see it...

 

[EmptyNetter]

Forwards & D can get a drink at the bench. My water bottle on the net isn't a team water bottle.

Maybe some of you disagree with that. Any other netminders here have this problem of running out of water?

Skaters actually swig from your water bottle after a whistle? That's totally wrong. I'd never even consider drinking the goalie's water.

 

[Doctor Hook]

I'd never even consider drinking the goalie's water.

Wow...me neither. The dudes can't wait till the end of their shift to go to the bench and get some H20?

 

[MikeD]

It was a problem at one point. They would just grab it and drink away till empty. I got fed up with it so I went to the bench and promptly dumped out the ones there. When the uproar started I simply told them if I couldnt have water then neither could they. No one ever touched mine again...

locker room.....never touch the goalies mask. The rest of the gear you can ASK permission to pick up to look at. It may be spread out, walk around, step over but NOT ON.

 

[hckyguy14]

There is a difference between being hurt and injured.

If you get hurt, don't lay on the ice like a certain Dallas player (former MTL player).

If you get hurt, pick yourself up, get to the bench, and shake it off.

If your injured, it's serious. You most likely won't be back.

 

[Cappy76]

I agree with much of what you said but I ahve to take issue with this.

99... Well, I see your point.

Mirrored visors though? Honestly, if I ever saw somebody beat someone down or take a shot at someone for something that trivial, I would personally beat the hell out of them.

I wear one in my league and im deff keyed in on by the other team i dont mind the attention makes me elavate my game but the cheap shots and the constant hey ovies do get old.....being that i did wear the shield before ovie ever sported it in the NHL they should be ribbing ovie in the nhl and callin him cappy haha

 

[Jeffw-13]

Never mention that the goalie has a shut-out going.