OT: Relationship Advice Thread

[I Eat Crow]

I miss the early days of online dating. Before the novelty wore off and people raised their standards to absurd levels.

I got out right before Tinder was a thing. That was the beginning of the end. Okcupid/POF was the perfect balance of actually decent selection and for the lulz. After circa 2014, online dating became a cess pool.

 

[aufheben]

I got out right before Tinder was a thing. That was the beginning of the end. Okcupid/POF was the perfect balance of actually decent selection and for the lulz. After circa 2014, online dating became a cess pool.

Tinder became really sleazy but Hinge and Bumble are fine. The problem is no one wants to actually date.

 

[NickyFotiu]

Tinder became really sleazy but Hinge and Bumble are fine. The problem is no one wants to actually date.

I was going to mention that dating and kids have seemed to become less of a priority for some so its not only you.

 

[LokiDog]

Tinder became really sleazy but Hinge and Bumble are fine. The problem is no one wants to actually date.

Comparative paralysis. The quality of the connection usually doesn’t overcome the serotonin hit gained from swiping on new and even more interesting matches. Online dating, even when you get a connection, often doesn’t progress because these women have 40 men to sift through at any given moment. Then, if you’re over 30, the women who are still single and/or have been hurt have become a bit jaded and are often torn between wanting a family and maintaining the independent career woman lifestyle with lots of brunch dates with their girls. It isn’t necessarily that online dating - at least apps like Hinge - have become total cesspools, it’s just that everyone likes the chase and the flirt more than the settling down. Then again, since my wife and I split, I get about 5 matches per day too. And I ain’t settling down.

 

[SnowblindNYR]

Comparative paralysis. The quality of the connection usually doesn’t overcome the serotonin hit gained from swiping on new and even more interesting matches. Online dating, even when you get a connection, often doesn’t progress because these women have 40 men to sift through at any given moment. Then, if you’re over 30, the women who are still single and/or have been hurt have become a bit jaded and are often torn between wanting a family and maintaining the independent career woman lifestyle with lots of brunch dates with their girls. It isn’t necessarily that online dating - at least apps like Hinge - have become total cesspools, it’s just that everyone likes the chase and the flirt more than the settling down. Then again, since my wife and I split, I get about 5 matches per day too. And I ain’t settling down.

Oh no, I'm sorry to hear!

 

[NickyFotiu]

Comparative paralysis. The quality of the connection usually doesn’t overcome the serotonin hit gained from swiping on new and even more interesting matches. Online dating, even when you get a connection, often doesn’t progress because these women have 40 men to sift through at any given moment. Then, if you’re over 30, the women who are still single and/or have been hurt have become a bit jaded and are often torn between wanting a family and maintaining the independent career woman lifestyle with lots of brunch dates with their girls. It isn’t necessarily that online dating - at least apps like Hinge - have become total cesspools, it’s just that everyone likes the chase and the flirt more than the settling down. Then again, since my wife and I split, I get about 5 matches per day too. And I ain’t settling down.

I didn't know you split. Sorry to hear that. Are you still in the same city?

 

[effen]

Yeah you met your girlfriend a pretty long time ago IIRC. It’s awful now. Like soul-destroying.

I’ve had Hinge for three months and one person has liked me.

I met my wife when she saw me on a Livestream on Twitch. I had zero idea who she was.

Shit just happens sometimes when you're looking the other way.

 

[RempireStateBuilding]

I miss the early days of online dating. Before the novelty wore off and people raised their standards to absurd levels.

I've all but given up on dating. Feels like I have nothing to offer when everyone is looking for these grandiose trips around the world and some ~super exciting~ event every single weekend and 30 mile hikes to "unwind" and white water kayaking and exploring NYC after work and 75 weddings a year for all of their ultra close massive friend group that have all known each other since birth.

Does anyone sit still for like 10 minutes anymore? Does everyone always have to be in a constant state of motion or constantly feel like what they're doing/where they're at is never enough and MUST be escaped at every turn? I understand wanting to go out and planning fun excursions every now and then, but like..f***ing shit. Being a homebody and intense introvert makes meeting anyone new unbearable.

 

[CTTribe73]

I've all but given up on dating. Feels like I have nothing to offer when everyone is looking for these grandiose trips around the world and some ~super exciting~ event every single weekend and 30 mile hikes to "unwind" and white water kayaking and exploring NYC after work and 75 weddings a year for all of their ultra close massive friend group that have all known each other since birth.

Does anyone sit still for like 10 minutes anymore? Does everyone always have to be in a constant state of motion or constantly feel like what they're doing/where they're at is never enough and MUST be escaped at every turn? I understand wanting to go out and planning fun excursions every now and then, but like..f***ing shit. Being a homebody and intense introvert makes meeting anyone new unbearable.

I sit on my ass watching the Rangers at least 50-60 times per year and the Yanks, Mets, Knicks and Giants another couple hundred combined. And the wife is right there with me. I also spend a lot of time reading as does she. So yeah, people do and more than you might think.

(example- I am presently watching the Yankees play a fake baseball game and will remain as such straight on through their prospect exhibition with the Blue Jays. So there’s a solid 4.5-5 hours).

Remember this useful chestnut:

Social media is all about creating the person you want others to believe you are, and carefully covering up the person you actually are.

 

[RempireStateBuilding]

I sit on my ass watching the Rangers at least 50-60 times per year and the Yanks, Mets, Knicks and Giants another couple hundred combined. And the wife is right there with me. I also spend a lot of time reading as does she. So yeah, people do and more than you might think.

(example- I am presently watching the Yankees play a fake baseball game and will remain as such straight on through their prospect exhibition with the Blue Jays. So there’s a solid 4.5-5 hours).

Remember this useful chestnut:

Social media is all about creating the person you want others to believe you are, and carefully covering up the person you actually are.

lmao the last line is why I can't stand social media. Everything shown is some BS'd version of itself. I have a hard time joining that whole song and dance because I don't see the point in effectively lying just to trick someone into being impressed or whatever. I'm glad I have a whole new career to focus on right now instead of chasing people.

 

[aufheben]

I've all but given up on dating. Feels like I have nothing to offer when everyone is looking for these grandiose trips around the world and some ~super exciting~ event every single weekend and 30 mile hikes to "unwind" and white water kayaking and exploring NYC after work and 75 weddings a year for all of their ultra close massive friend group that have all known each other since birth.

Does anyone sit still for like 10 minutes anymore? Does everyone always have to be in a constant state of motion or constantly feel like what they're doing/where they're at is never enough and MUST be escaped at every turn? I understand wanting to go out and planning fun excursions every now and then, but like..f***ing shit. Being a homebody and intense introvert makes meeting anyone new unbearable.

I feel you man.

Also I hate this rule that you can’t just say “Hi, how are you?”. Meanwhile on Bumble they just sent you the f***ing waving hand emoji.

 

[80s Kid]

I've all but given up on dating. Feels like I have nothing to offer when everyone is looking for these grandiose trips around the world and some ~super exciting~ event every single weekend and 30 mile hikes to "unwind" and white water kayaking and exploring NYC after work and 75 weddings a year for all of their ultra close massive friend group that have all known each other since birth.

Does anyone sit still for like 10 minutes anymore? Does everyone always have to be in a constant state of motion or constantly feel like what they're doing/where they're at is never enough and MUST be escaped at every turn? I understand wanting to go out and planning fun excursions every now and then, but like..f***ing shit. Being a homebody and intense introvert makes meeting anyone new unbearable.

This guy feels your pain...

 

[Say Hey Kid]

When choosing a partner, sex, chemistry, looks, and $ aren't the only things that matter. Trust me, you need more.