Salary Cap: Pens 2024 Summer Thread: "Thus, knocking us out of these superior numbers when we emerge! Mr. President, we must not allow a non-playoff bound gap!"

[Big Friggin Dummy]

Yeah, again I want to make it clear I don't think the ACs were solely responsible for the cup decisions. But having that competition and pushback made Sullivan make better decisions. Having those injuries forced him to roll with hot hands and youth. Having a Sid and Geno and Kessel in their primes helped cover up shortcomings of the system and on the roster.

But man, if there was all that success in the B2B that was from Sully, why doesn't he even try to bring it back, just for kicks, when it's clear things aren't working and the season's on the line? I think he simply just can't. Otherwise you bet your ass we'd have been changing shit up this year and last year.

The moment I started to raise an eyebrow and be like "Hmm, maybe this guy's actually a dipshit" was when Sullivan just had zero answers for Trotz's Isles forecheck in 2019. I kinda brushed it off because JR assembled a completely dogshit, slow blueline with guys like JJ, Maatta, Gudbranson etc. so there was still some doubt, but Sully was just deer in the headlights in that series and it's not gotten better since. After the Habs play-in where he gleefully rode the JJ-Schultz pairing like Kong in Dr. Strangelove riding the bomb to his doom--I just kinda laughed and said "Oh yeah, this guy's a dipshit. Cool."

 

[Pancakes]

I think Sullivan's issue is not that Tocchet or Gonch or whoever else is gone. It's that he got instant success and has been surrounded by nothing but yes men and people who revere the ground he walks on instead of challenging him. He has no reason to be on his toes and constantly evolve; he's heaped with praise by the organization, media and fanbase nonstop. He was given an extension two years before his current deal was even up, immediately following his fourth consecutive 1st round flop. Like, of course this guy's grown fat, happy and complacent on his throne. He lives in a proverbial popemobile. He's known nothing but positive reinforcement since he became the Pens' coach, regardless of the results.

I just think he's like Bylsma. He knows only one way to play and if the roster can't execute his way then you're f***ed. It worked great when we had the legs to play his system.

I think Rod the Bod would be a disaster if he came here for the same reason. Look at the way he has the Hurricanes playing and then imagine him trying to get this ancient ass roster to play that way lol. It'd be horrific to watch.

Jon Cooper is one of the few coaches I would trust to actually be willing and able to adapt to changing circumstances. Too bad Tampa will probably never let him go and even if he did he'd never come here .

 

[HandshakeLine]

I think Tocchet had plenty to do with the cups. So did Sullivan.

What I do not believe is that Sullivan just blundered into back to back cups while Rick Tocchet was the Emperor Palpatine masterminding everything from behind the scenes like some would suggest lol

I getchu 'Cakes. Like I said, I think it was less about the ACs themselves and more that there were more critical voices in the room that Sullivan had to take seriously because he was not in a secure position.

As for my comment that he resents it, I mean, it's hard not to see that in things like refusing to fix the PP or switch the system up to get a measly 2 points. I just don't see how anyone who was an actual coach with strategic thinking wouldn't realize that it'd be more important to change things for like 4 games and get into the playoffs or out of a series than it would to not change anything and miss the postseason for the second year in a row in the most embarrassing fashion.

 

[Big Friggin Dummy]

I just think he's like Bylsma. He knows only one way to play and if the roster can't execute his way then you're f***ed. It worked great when we had the legs to play his system.

I think Rod the Bod would be a disaster if he came here for the same reason. Look at the way he has the Hurricanes playing and then imagine him trying to get this ancient ass roster to play that way lol. It'd be horrific to watch.

Jon Cooper is one of the few coaches I would trust to actually be willing and able to adapt to changing circumstances. Too bad Tampa will probably never let him go and even if he did he'd never come here .

I think the reality is just that all coaches are Bylsma/Sully, and the ones that aren't yet, will be once the tumbler of NHL coaching wears down their edges like sea glass.

I think coaches are by and large just babysitters. They manage egos and try to put guys in positions to succeed. I think the Xs and Os stuff is pretty overblown in a sport like hockey. Sure, you can put into place breakouts and zone entries and all that but there's so much going on.

The problematic coaches tend to be guys who are either too rigid in their approach like a Torts or Sully, that they refuse to adapt and play to their team's strength, or guys who are just total dipshits like a Bylsma (yo guys lemme be a part of the group, let's play wiffleball!), Mike Johnston, and Hackstol.

 

[BlindWillyMcHurt]

The moment I started to raise an eyebrow and be like "Hmm, maybe this guy's actually a dipshit" was when Sullivan just had zero answers for Trotz's Isles forecheck in 2019. I kinda brushed it off because JR assembled a completely dogshit, slow blueline with guys like JJ, Maatta, Gudbranson etc. so there was still some doubt, but Sully was just deer in the headlights in that series and it's not gotten better since. After the Habs play-in where he gleefully rode the JJ-Schultz pairing like Kong in Dr. Strangelove riding the bomb to his doom--I just kinda laughed and said "Oh yeah, this guy's a dipshit. Cool."

Yeah... kinda related but I started to doubt him once he played JJ prominently in not one but two playoff series in back to back years for no discernable reason. It was well-established that he was awful by that second year and yet he was shoving him out there like 18ish minutes a night. I think him subbing in Jeff flippin' Carter for Sid in the Rangers series when Malkin was sitting right there was the point where I was like "OK this guy might not even be a good coach at all... nevermind for just this team at this point in time."

Also why practice 3 v 3 OT when you can just shove Lars Eller and one of your other pets out there and shrug and blame equipment when they get walked for 2 straight minutes before a slop-ass change and immediate goal against? Good enough. And you can use the rest of that practice time you WOULD be using on important stuff like talking about how awesome Harkins' shot AKSHULLY is but ya'll just don't know.

 

[HandshakeLine]

Bring back player coaches, IMO. And make our player coach Letang.

 

[BlindWillyMcHurt]

Bring back player coaches, IMO. And make our player coach Letang.

I actually kinda like the player/coach idea lol

But uh... maybe not Tanger. Though that WOULD be fun!

 

[HandshakeLine]

I actually kinda like the player/coach idea lol

But uh... maybe not Tanger. Though that WOULD be fun!

I mean, it's kind of like a buffer integer overflow bug. You know how they say the smart players can't coach? What if Letang's so dumb, he's actually flipped around to being a genius?

 

[BlindWillyMcHurt]

I mean, it's kind of like a buffer integer overflow bug. You know how they say the smart players can't coach? What if Letang's so dumb, he's actually flipped around to being a genius?

I'll grant you that this is FAR more sound reasoning than the team itself has used in years so...

 

[Big Friggin Dummy]

Yeah... kinda related but I started to doubt him once he played JJ prominently in not one but two playoff series in back to back years for no discernable reason. It was well-established that he was awful by that second year and yet he was shoving him out there like 18ish minutes a night. I think him subbing in Jeff flippin' Carter for Sid in the Rangers series when Malkin was sitting right there was the point where I was like "OK this guy might not even be a good coach at all... nevermind for just this team at this point in time."

Also why practice 3 v 3 OT when you can just shove Lars Eller and one of your other pets out there and shrug and blame equipment when they get walked for 2 straight minutes before a slop-ass change and immediate goal against? Good enough. And you can use the rest of that practice time you WOULD be using on important stuff like talking about how awesome Harkins' shot AKSHULLY is but ya'll just don't know.

It was well established, for like a decade at that point, that Jack Johnson just sucked shit at hockey. That weird JJ era was just bonkers. I know you posted the clip of JJ leaving the box and just bumblef***ing his way across the ice and running into two Isles--that is genuinely, without a hint of sarcasm or irony, one of my favorite moments of the Sid/Geno era. f***ing hilarious, objectively funny stuff.

I mean, it's kind of like a buffer integer overflow bug. You know how they say the smart players can't coach? What if Letang's so dumb, he's actually flipped around to being a genius?

Yo we're gonna MP underflow bug Tanger's brain into becoming an unstoppable genius like in FF4.

 

[BlindWillyMcHurt]

It was well established, for like a decade at that point, that Jack Johnson just sucked shit at hockey. That weird JJ era was just bonkers. I know you posted the clip of JJ leaving the box and just bumblef***ing his way across the ice and running into two Isles--that is genuinely, without a hint of sarcasm or irony, one of my favorite moments of the Sid/Geno era. f***ing hilarious, objectively funny stuff.

Even the thumbnail for that clip is hilarious.

I couldn't make that face if you gave me like five lifetimes of practicing.

 

[HandshakeLine]

It was well established, for like a decade at that point, that Jack Johnson just sucked shit at hockey. That weird JJ era was just bonkers. I know you posted the clip of JJ leaving the box and just bumblef***ing his way across the ice and running into two Isles--that is genuinely, without a hint of sarcasm or irony, one of my favorite moments of the Sid/Geno era. f***ing hilarious, objectively funny stuff.


Yo we're gonna MP underflow bug Tanger's brain into becoming an unstoppable genius like in FF4.

Casting Invisible then X-Zone on the opposing goalie

I dare you to say it's not a more practical plan than what we currently got goin' on.

 

[Big Friggin Dummy]

Casting Invisible then X-Zone on the opposing goalie

I dare you to say it's not a more practical plan than what we currently got goin' on.

Time to Joker Doom our way to one last Cup, baybeeee. If you ain't cheatin', you ain't tryin'.

 

[HandshakeLine]

Some teams use horse drugs prescribed by Russian doctors. We scour GameFAQs.

 

[Big Friggin Dummy]

Some teams use horse drugs prescribed by Russian doctors. We scour GameFAQs.

The whiteboard on the bench is just some shitty ASCII art.

 

[BlindWillyMcHurt]

I'm pretty sure half this team has petrify/stone permanently cast on their hands.

Must be cursed gloves. Maybe go ask Marian Hossa about that, boys.

 

[HandshakeLine]

The whiteboard on the bench is just some shitty ASCII art.

 

[Big Friggin Dummy]

I'm pretty sure half this team has petrify/stone permanently cast on their hands.

Must be cursed gloves. Maybe go ask Marian Hossa about that, boys.

This team thinks if they keep using them they'll eventually get uncursed after 256 battles. smh

 

[BusinessGoose]

I'm pretty sure half this team has petrify/stone permanently cast on their hands.

Must be cursed gloves. Maybe go ask Marian Hossa about that, boys.

Can someone please check Tyler Kennedy's residence for voodoo dolls?