Parents of Youth Players

Discussion in 'The Rink' started by Puckboy, Feb 9, 2007.

  1. Puckboy

    Puckboy Registered User

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2003
    Messages:
    256
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Home Page:
    What do you expect out of a coach at the mite/squirt levels? You always hear people complaining in the stands about coaching and how their kid does not get enough ice time. I know everyone wants their child to become a better player, but at what cost. I am really interested in everyone thoughts of what makes good coach for the young players.
     
  2. Grave77digger

    Grave77digger Registered User

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2004
    Messages:
    2,579
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Home Page:
    I really feel bad for ref and coaches... parents are crazy
     
  3. Impact

    Impact Registered User

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2007
    Messages:
    39
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    Maryland
    Home Page:
    I've never complained about my son getting enough ice time. He sure isn't a star player either but he plays in a league that's pretty small so he doesn't really have to worry about that.

    At the mite level, I think here are some main things kids should get:
    1) learn offsides
    2) learn that the game is about passing
    3) learn hockey skating fundamentals, i.e. stopping, backwards scissors
    4) learn the very basics of the roles of positions

    At the squirt leve, here's what I expect:
    1) learn one or two breakouts
    2) reinforce that the game is about passing
    3) refine skating skills to include stopping on either side, backwards crossovers, crossover starts, fundamental power skating
    4) refine knowledge of the roles and responsibilities of the positions and begin to steer the kids towards one

    I guess the validity of my expectations really depends on what area you live in. If you live in Canada, Minnesota, etc. people might expect a lot more. My perspective also revolves around in-house league play and not travel hockey. Coaches of travel teams have different goals. I personally would never coach a travel team because I really want to teach the kids about how hockey works and to love the game, not that we have to play the best line into the ice to win.
     
  4. mini-mite fan

    mini-mite fan Registered User

    Joined:
    Feb 4, 2005
    Messages:
    184
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Occupation:
    fin. consultant
    Location:
    MN, USA
    As a coach of the mite level, I can tell you that the reward to crap ratio is high.

    Biggest Reward: both the development & genuine enjoyment of kids

    Biggest Crap: politics and the 50% of the parents who create it

    I've found differences in every local association I've worked with or shared experiences of other coaches/relatives. But, a commonality is always the political bull$#it. There are times I've left the rink so ticked, I was swearing off coaching any future years. But, then there's always times that some kid or his/her parent comes up and gives a thanks, or says how terrific this years' hockey has been, or the best is seeing the elation on a kids' face when they finally "get" something they've been struggling with and finally get it.

    Mite level should have 90% of it's emphasis on having fun, basic skills of the player (skating, puckhandling, passing, recieving, shooting, etc), & very basic concepts of the game itself. Most associations and parents (from my upper-midwest primarily Minnesota exposure) put WAY too much stress on playing games & the scores of those games.

    I've seen far too many parents that push to get their kid moved up a level too soon. Then the entire association suffers, cause the second-from-beginner through the first "try-out" teams (which is usually mites through the end of your in-house programs) become diluted with kids that aren't really at that level. Coaches then have to spend more time or focus on the kids that shouldn't be there, or are left unable to do some of the more challenging drills at a particular level that they should be doing - but can't because there are too many on the team that simply lack the ability because of size/coordination/experience/ability/(whatever) to do it.

    You are exactly correct. Just like the examples you gave; our mini-mite/Atoms program works on all the items you listed for your Mite level. While our Mite program does reiteration of the first list then focuses on 1-3 of your Squirt list.
     
  5. acr*

    acr* Guest

    I hate loud parents.

    A couple weeks ago I was scorekeeping for a house league game, squirts I think.

    It was a crappy game, just offside after offside and not much real offense...you know those types of games

    Anyway there was this one woman who just wouldn't shut up. Every play..."GO FLYERS! COME ON FLYERS! SKATE! SKAAAATE! FLYERRRRS!" And every time that team got the puck she started screaming "SHOOT IT! SHOOT! SHOOT IT! SHOOT! IT! SHOOT", even if the puck was in the defensive zone or they had a kid offsides or whatever.

    I was this close to turning around and screaming "SHUT THE **** UP WOMAN!". It's like 6 in the morning and everyone's tired, the game isn't even interesting...just shut the **** up, the kids are not moved or happy one bit that one mom is cheering for them, in fact it's probably distracting them...
     
  6. MikeD

    MikeD Registered User

    Joined:
    Jul 3, 2006
    Messages:
    1,066
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Occupation:
    Machinist
    Location:
    Buffalo NY
    Home Page:
    I fully expect the kids to be having FUN! Think outside the box for your drills. We had a coach at hte mite and ssquirt minor level who used obstacle type course with cones, hurdles, heavy bag(against boards for kids to shoot over) that taught skating, shooting and heads up hockey. Try to think of ways to teach the needed skills but in a more fun way than just the same old same old.

    As far as parents go, be sure to have a chat with them straight up. IF your intention is to help the kids develope, have fun etx etc with out the serious emphasis on the WIN, tell them so. IF you dont want parents coaching games from the stands, tell them in a parents meeting. Most of the time it will stop those who scream to their kids from the stands.
     
  7. Nbr-17

    Nbr-17 Registered User

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2006
    Messages:
    516
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    Stouffville, ON
    I don't know what mite & squirt age groups in the US are. Judging by the name I assume they're rather young.
    My son is 8 turning 9 next month. This year he plays novice up here and will be moving up to minor atom. In the GTHL (Greater Toronto Hockey League) rep hockey starts with minor atom and he will be playing AAA next year and stay with his current coach.
    Why do I like this coach? First and foremost because my son really likes him. I believe in respecting my son's judgement and opinion also that hockey is for fun. So if he likes his coach that means he's having fun. The other thing I like about this coach is that he teaches very well and my son has learned and improved a lot over the last year. I like the fact that he likes my son and he will give him his fair share of icetime. I also like the man at a personal level because is a straight shooter, a man of his word and so am I. I'm not big on political BS and backstabbing.
     
  8. NJDevs430

    NJDevs430 Registered User

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2002
    Messages:
    1,901
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Home Page:
    Poor kid was probably getting it from his teammates...
    Gee Bobby, your mom really sucks.
    <)-:{
     
  9. javorka

    javorka Registered User

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2006
    Messages:
    207
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    I agree with a lot of what you are saying, although I'm not so sure about the part about our expectations being higher in Canada......

    We live in an area where hockey is king. For some parents, that means pushing their kids hard to develope their skating, passing, etc. so that they can get to the "next level". For most of us, though, having our kids involved in something they love is most important. In our family anyway, the goal is for our kids to develope some lifelong skills like leadership, responsibility, good sportsmanship and a positive attitude towards being active.
     
    Last edited: Feb 12, 2007
  10. Methane

    Methane Registered User

    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2007
    Messages:
    205
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Occupation:
    InfoSec Analyst
    Location:
    Fort Worth, TX
    Home Page:
    I'm glad you have such a great coach. My sons are that way with their Football (American) coach.

    The local hockey coach at the single rink in town wouldn't accept my boys for "Beginner Hockey I" becuase they weren't great skaters, heck they are only 7 and 8. I've got them enrolled in the skate classes at the same rink, but he wants only kids that are great skaters. Needless to say, his "team" is all of 4 - 5 kids now. This one man has managed to kill the only local hockey program.
     
  11. javorka

    javorka Registered User

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2006
    Messages:
    207
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    :shakehead It's probably best that your kids didn't go anyway. Hockey isn't much fun if your coach only keeps you for a benchwarmer. (Been there, done that.)

    I hope you have better luck next year!

    (And I'll bet it's safe to say at least one of the 4-5 players on the team is the coach's kid...?)
     
  12. Nbr-17

    Nbr-17 Registered User

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2006
    Messages:
    516
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    Stouffville, ON
    :shakehead That's just brutal. He shouldn't call his programm 'Beginner Hockey' then, but 'Advanced' or something along these lines.
    I know around here they'll let anybody sign up for houseleague. The games are on the buzzer so everybody get's the sames amount of icetime.
    I feel sorry for your kids :shakehead
     
  13. Hank19

    Hank19 Registered User

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2005
    Messages:
    1,870
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    At that level the kids should be learning the basics and maybe how to play each position.

    I'm still of the mind that kids shouldn't even play games until they're at least 8 years old. Getting in 50 minutes when they're 4 or 5 is useless. There's always one or two kids that know how to handle the puck and the rest are one-kicking, skateboard-style, trying to get around the ice. Wouldn't that 50 minutes be put to better use by having each kid run drills with a puck?

    Anyway, most parents are great, but the vocal minority suck bigtime. I coached houseleague Atom for a few years and while there was some great times I hated a handful of parents.
    I got one 11 year old girl half way through the season who started the team with a broken heart because got cut from a high level girls travel team. When we got her she had a serious attitude and it came from her dad, mom, uncle and grandma that would attend each game and practice. They were all built like John Goodman and yelled with every pound of flab they had on their bodies. She thought she was so much better than anyone and during her first practice she skated up to me and said "This league is garbage. I'll probably score 150 goals here". (She finished with 4 in the remaining 20 games).
    The girl HATED playing anything but centre and if she was moved to any different position she'd put in a half-assed effort. What made it worse was when we're trying to give her instructions on passing the puck and playing as a team, she would step on the ice only to hear her 2000 lb chearing session yell the exact opposite. They'd yell things like "Don't pass! You're the only one that can score on this team!"
    Anyway, her dad used to tell me that since the last 2 minutes of play were stopped time I could put anyone I wanted on the ice. Translation: Put my daughter out for the last 2 minutes of each game. I told him that it's houseleague, all the parents paid the same amount, and I'll continue to roll 4 lines with equal ice time.

    Another great thing about houseleague is how they give you 18 skaters and only half the ice to practice. You try to control 18 hopped up 10 and 11 year olds and make sure they're all paying attention!
    After one practice I got a visit from a mom (sorry ladies, it's the mothers that are the worst!) who berated me for not keeping better control of the practices. She complained how she saw two kids just sitting in a corner for over 3 minutes doing nothing while drills were going on elsewhere. She suggested that I use a couple of the fathers to help run the practice. I told her that'd be a wonderful idea. What happened? Her husband and another father came on the next week and not only couldn't they control any of the kids, their own kids were the worst ones of all and wouldn't listen to their dads in the least. After the practice wrapped up, both of the fathers went to their wives and told them "Keep your mouths shut! Our coach is doing the best he can out there!". The fathers didn't return the next week. One practice was enough for them.

    Anyway, after starting 0-7 for the year you can imagine the crap I took. Some parents wanted us 'fired'. Nice eh.
    But slowly the kids started to get better. Some of the worst skaters got stronger and our better players started playing like real leaders.
    We ended up winning the whole thing by years end. A number of kids told me it was the most fun the had ever had. That was the greatest reward.

    One more great 'hockey parent' story. One kid on our team had never played hockey or skated before. But he was a real worker, a great listener and a great kid all around. He scored only 2 goals that year but his dad never saw one of them. He was too busy taking smoke breaks every 10 minutes. He also showed up to most games half in the bag.

    So in short, when you decide to put your kids in hockey don't give the coaches OR the REFS a hard time. They're doing their best. Just sit down, drink your Timmy's coffee and enjoy the festivities. There are some parents out there that have kids with disabilities that prevent them from even competing in sports. Be thankful you have healthy enough children that they can and be grateful you live in a country that provides hockey as a service to the community. It's just a game and no matter how hard you try, you're never going to play in the NHL through them no matter how bad you want to.

    Me? My son will be going into hockey next fall. I can't wait. The most I hope he gets out of hockey is self confidence and the ability to play the sport with some skill. I think it would be my dream if he even got a minor scholorship to any school because of hockey. And of course, I can't wait to play with him on the pond every winter.
     
  14. javorka

    javorka Registered User

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2006
    Messages:
    207
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0

    Amen! :thumbu:
     
  15. Markov79

    Markov79 Registered User

    Joined:
    Apr 22, 2002
    Messages:
    1,389
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    Canuckastan
    Home Page:
    I work in an arena so I am privy to just about every parents opinion about everything. It has completly turned me off of one day putting my kids in hockey. Saying 50% of parents are psychos is a conservative estimate. Not a day goes by when I don't want to smack someone for something. Just yesterday...

    Woman: Excuse me, when can my son's team get into their room?

    Me: They can go in at seven.

    Woman: What? How are they supposed to prepare for the game.

    Me: They have a half an hour and it only takes five minutes to get dressed.

    Woman: But they need to mentally prepare. (keep in mind this is a peewee team)

    Me: ...ok...well the room will be ready at seven.

    Woman: But why can't they go in now?

    Me: um...the guys on the ice might want to get changed when they get off the ice.
     
  16. Gino 14

    Gino 14 Registered User

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2006
    Messages:
    812
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    From my experience from the reffing side, squirt parents are the worst. They know every rule and feel the need to share it with you every chance they get. Must be as their kids go up in level they can't remember the rules as well, they're not always as willing to share them with you after that.
     
  17. MikeD

    MikeD Registered User

    Joined:
    Jul 3, 2006
    Messages:
    1,066
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Occupation:
    Machinist
    Location:
    Buffalo NY
    Home Page:
    or they realize just how bad they sound screaming from the stands? This weekend was NYS West AAA Sectional playdowns and there was one instance that stands out in my mind. Two players cutting around behind the net with the offensive player carrying the puck. The Ref calls an offensive zone penalty(holding) and the Parents start screaming at the ref.

    [​IMG]

    I very nicely took several steps up into the stands and showed the picture on the LCD of my Digitial Camera to one of those parents yelling. The yelling stopped almost instantly with proof of the hold for them to see. The rest of the game had a few grumbles from the parents but nothing like the abuse the official was taking prior to showing my picture.
     
  18. Gino 14

    Gino 14 Registered User

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2006
    Messages:
    812
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Are you available to do other games?;)
     

Share This Page

monitoring_string = "358c248ada348a047a4b9bb27a146148"