Okay, so now what do I do with a kid who is good at hockey

[Yukon Joe]

Okay, so now let me talk about my oldest son, let's call him Tommy (2010). I need you guys to talk me down from thinking he's going to have some sort of career in hockey.

He started playing hockey at age 6, he's been decent to average, but has been moving up the ranks in the Tiers. Last year in U11 he was in Tier 1, the highest level you could play at (though this was the covid-shortened year).

This year he moves up to U13. Now, above Tier 1 there is a AA Tier. He tries out for AA, is cut in the last round of cuts. Moving back to club the very next day he has a slow timed skate and is placed in Tier 2, not even considered for Tier 1. During the year though he was affiliated to the Tier 1 team and has played several games with them, including in their semi-final playoff game last night.

Tommy is a defensive defenceman. By my eye he has great positioning and gap control. He's not just hanging back but gets in the forwards face in the rush breaking up numerous plays. They did a team skills competition where he was the best stickhandler and second fastest skater (to a kid a year older and a head taller than him).

What Tommy is not however is a goal scorer. He does not have a nose for the net. He did actually score two goals in the last two weeks, both shots from the blue line that went in, but those have been his only two goals all year.

The thing is, his coaches keep talking him up to me. The coach of the Tier 1 team played CIS/U-sports hockey. He's the one who keeps calling Tommy up to play - they were down a Forward last night, but moved a D up to forward so they could add Tommy. He just texted me about what a "stud Dman" Tommy is, and how their team is better with him in the line-up. The head coach on his own Tier 2 team is always telling me what a great Dman he is. One of the assistant coaches on his T2 team - I don't know his personal hockey resume, but he's clearly played, and his brother had a lengthy NHL career with 1000+ games. Anyways this coach has urged him to try out for AA again, and has said he ought to be on the AA team this year.

Oh - he also did a bunch of tryouts for an AAA spring team. He didn't look out of place but didn't make the team (last round of cuts again), but did then make the AA spring team. The one AA tryout game was one where he didn't just 'not look out of place', but looked really good.


So the question is - he's good, but there are probably dozens of other kids his age across the city/province just as good, right? It would be foolish to really load him up on expensive hockey camps / power skating thinking he's going to make some kind of hockey career, right (and by career I mean playing junior hockey or university hockey)? And in particular - no matter how good defensively you are as a D man it's always going to be scoring that gets you noticed, right?

Click to read more...

 

[tarheelhockey]

Put him in charge of the other kid's development.

 

[Yukon Joe]

Put him in charge of the other kid's development.

You clearly must be an only child if you think that would work...

 

[Yukon Joe]

[double post]

 

[Slats432]

You have no idea what you have in a hockey player until after U14. Kids grow, get different interests. There are likely hundreds and hundreds of kids better than him right now. Here are kids one year older than yours. Elite Prospects - Brick Invitational Stats 2018-2019

They are playing against the best players in the age group from all over the world. There are 75 defensemen at that tournament which is only a select few kids. What Junior teams tell players is that you might be a good player, but we have the best player off every team and you are no longer going to be the best player. Take all the junior teams where all of the best players go to either university or pro. Only 41 defensemen from Edmonton have ever made the NHL and played 100 games. That is EVER. My son played against tons of great players that were excellent players at every level, on to the WHL, and of all of the best players in U18AAA, one or two might play pro hockey.

So talk yourself off the ledge. Help him through the process, encourage him to chase his dream and support what he wants to do. Camps are good. Try to improve but don't focus on the end, focus on the journey.

 

[puckpilot]

Here are a couple of videos that might help. It's from a podcast/youTube channel that discusses minor hockey, hockey development, hockey parenting, etc. The older gentleman is Andy Paquette. He trained Aaron Ekblad, and he's worked with many other NHLers. His son is playing in the OHL.

 

[Mr Jiggyfly]

Here are a couple of videos that might help. It's from a podcast/youTube channel that discusses minor hockey, hockey development, hockey parenting, etc. The older gentleman is Andy Paquette. He trained Aaron Ekblad, and he's worked with many other NHLers. His son is playing in the OHL.

Some good stuff there - thx.

I caught on to the youth sports racket a long time ago and as parents we have to be very careful about how this enterprise suckers us and syphons our money.

It is a multi billion dollar enterprise that is ready to pounce all over eager parents who desperately want to believe their kid is the next big thing.

On a side note about spring hockey, we should also be aware of the dangers of having our young kids skating 365.

I told my daughter no more spring hockey last season and that won’t be changing - a child’s hip flexors need rest from the grind of the hockey season.

She plays soccer/lacrosse - which is what we want our young athletes doing… trying new sports, having fun, meeting kids outside of the hockey community, developing their athletic traits, etc.

Don’t specialize a young child in hockey - especially all year long.

It can’t be hockey 365 and I’m pretty firm in my belief that won’t help your child like many parents think.

 

[Yukon Joe]

You have no idea what you have in a hockey player until after U14. Kids grow, get different interests. There are likely hundreds and hundreds of kids better than him right now. Here are kids one year older than yours. Elite Prospects - Brick Invitational Stats 2018-2019

They are playing against the best players in the age group from all over the world. There are 75 defensemen at that tournament which is only a select few kids. What Junior teams tell players is that you might be a good player, but we have the best player off every team and you are no longer going to be the best player. Take all the junior teams where all of the best players go to either university or pro. Only 41 defensemen from Edmonton have ever made the NHL and played 100 games. That is EVER. My son played against tons of great players that were excellent players at every level, on to the WHL, and of all of the best players in U18AAA, one or two might play pro hockey.

So talk yourself off the ledge. Help him through the process, encourage him to chase his dream and support what he wants to do. Camps are good. Try to improve but don't focus on the end, focus on the journey.

Hey thanks for this. I did say success as playing junior or university hockey, not the NHL, but yeah even still. I just checked the WHL draft. The club of the AA team he's trying to make it to (and at his age they have 3 teams) - precisely one kid from that entire club was drafted.

 

[Yukon Joe]

Some good stuff there - thx.

I caught on to the youth sports racket a long time ago and as parents we have to be very careful about how this enterprise suckers us and syphons our money.

It is a multi billion dollar enterprise that is ready to pounce all over eager parents who desperately want to believe their kid is the next big thing.

On a side note about spring hockey, we should also be aware of the dangers of having our young kids skating 365.

I told my daughter no more spring hockey last season and that won’t be changing - a child’s hip flexors need rest from the grind of the hockey season.

She plays soccer/lacrosse - which is what we want our young athletes doing… trying new sports, having fun, meeting kids outside of the hockey community, developing their athletic traits, etc.

Don’t specialize a young child in hockey - especially all year long.

It can’t be hockey 365 and I’m pretty firm in my belief that won’t help your child like many parents think.

So I'm kind of with you. I'd prefer he play a different sport in the spring. When he was younger he played soccer - but then we signed him up for club soccer. Maybe it was just the one coach but the expectations and demands of soccer were worse than in hockey. Anyways my kid didn't like it and has never played organized soccer since. Meanwhile after the shitty 2020-2021 hockey season (due to covid), he actually got to play games in spring 2021, so I had no choice of talking him out of playing spring hockey.

He has said though he wants to try other sports though. He did not want to go to a hockey academy school. So we are trying to have some balance and not be 100% of the time hockey. That being said between spring hockey and a couple of camps he's on the ice for 11 our of 12 months of the year, which seems like a lot to me.

 

[Slats432]

Hey thanks for this. I did say success as playing junior or university hockey, not the NHL, but yeah even still. I just checked the WHL draft. The club of the AA team he's trying to make it to (and at his age they have 3 teams) - precisely one kid from that entire club was drafted.

So now that you have read that, and I purposefully left that concept to stand alone, if you have read my posts, you know my son was listed by Regina, came back, played U18AAA and ended up signing in JR A and made the team out of camp but decided he didn't want to live away from home.

He played Novice Tier 8, Atom Tier 4, Peewee Tier 6, Bantam Tier 3 first year, Bantam AA, U16AAA, then U18AAA. He wanted to join hockey academy because he was frustrated playing with lower tier players. So in Junior high, he moved to academy.

Played all the sports in Junior High. Basketball, Volleyball, Badminton. Ball hockey in the summer. I wish he would have played Lacrosse.

The journey is there but the key is to not try to determine what success is based on the end result. Success is the joy of going through the journey. My wife and my best friends were met through hockey. My best man was met through hockey. Our son's girlfriend was met through hockey. His best friend was met through hockey.

Chase the journey. The result is secondary.

 

[puckpilot]

Hey thanks for this. I did say success as playing junior or university hockey, not the NHL, but yeah even still. I just checked the WHL draft. The club of the AA team he's trying to make it to (and at his age they have 3 teams) - precisely one kid from that entire club was drafted.

Here's a video from that podcast what getting to that level means.

 

[Yukon Joe]

Here's a video from that podcast what getting to that level means.

Interesting.

I can actually say I am (or was) in the top 5% of something in the world. When I wrote the LSAT I scored in the 96 percentile - meaning of all the people who wrote it the LSAT I scored higher than 96% of them.

But that's not even top 5% of lawyers - that's just people who wrote the test. And I don't actually think that being top 5% in something is all that special. I would have thought that playing junior hockey, or NCAA hockey would be more like one in 100 or 1 in 1000, not 1 in 20.

But anyways I entirely agree with the general premise: I can lay out opportunities for my son, but it's up to him to what extent he pushes himself to take advantage of him. I can't substitute my drive for his (as was most clearly shown with my youngest son).

 

[Mr Jiggyfly]

So I'm kind of with you. I'd prefer he play a different sport in the spring. When he was younger he played soccer - but then we signed him up for club soccer. Maybe it was just the one coach but the expectations and demands of soccer were worse than in hockey. Anyways my kid didn't like it and has never played organized soccer since. Meanwhile after the shitty 2020-2021 hockey season (due to covid), he actually got to play games in spring 2021, so I had no choice of talking him out of playing spring hockey.

He has said though he wants to try other sports though. He did not want to go to a hockey academy school. So we are trying to have some balance and not be 100% of the time hockey. That being said between spring hockey and a couple of camps he's on the ice for 11 our of 12 months of the year, which seems like a lot to me.

I’m certainly not going to tell you how much is too much hockey for your son, that’s obviously a personal decision between the two of you.

If he is on the ice as much as you say, be sure he is really working on strengthening his hip flexors and making them as flexible as possible.

The constant pattern of skating non stop without any real breaks can really tighten up an athletes hips.

Every hockey player should be doing this, but it’s extremely important if he’s going almost non stop with hockey.

 

[Yukon Joe]

I’m certainly not going to tell you how much is too much hockey for your son, that’s obviously a personal decision between the two of you.

If he is on the ice as much as you say, be sure he is really working on strengthening his hip flexors and making them as flexible as possible.

The constant pattern of skating non stop without any real breaks can really tighten up an athletes hips.

Every hockey player should be doing this, but it’s extremely important if he’s going almost non stop with hockey.

It's okay, so can say whatever you like. I've been on the internet 25+ years, I can take it!

Minor hockey season runs September through March. I do think running a camp or two in august is good to build skills and get ready for evals. So that leaves springtime: April, May, June,

The last couple years I suggested he should try a different sport. Instead he has said no, he wants to play spring hockey.

 

[Mr Jiggyfly]

It's okay, so can say whatever you like. I've been on the internet 25+ years, I can take it!

Minor hockey season runs September through March. I do think running a camp or two in august is good to build skills and get ready for evals. So that leaves springtime: April, May, June,

The last couple years I suggested he should try a different sport. Instead he has said no, he wants to play spring hockey.

Well I never judge another parent unless he/she is doing something crazy because being a parent isn’t easy.

I just have my own philosophies that a well rounded athlete is a better hockey player than one who specializes in the sport.

My daughter was almost in tears when I said no spring hockey last year, and she kept begging me, but I stood my ground and told her to accept it.

I always explain my reasoning to her though, so she understands - that doesn’t mean she agrees with it though.

She didn’t argue this year thankfully and is excited about playing lacrosse with a non hockey buddy.

Even if she didn’t play another sport I’d want her off the ice for a few months to rest her hips from that repitive motion - and keep in mind my daughter plays on two travel teams so her schedule is a real grind on her body.

 

[Yukon Joe]

And in particular - no matter how good defensively you are as a D man it's always going to be scoring that gets you noticed, right?

Anyone want to give this question a spin?

Tommy's current coach once told me that the reason Tommy is so good out there is because you never notice him. That you usually notice defencemen because they make a mistake or are out of position, but Tommy is just always in the right position. But that also means, well, that you don't notice him.

I feel like he's the kind of player who coaches just love once they get to know him, but isn't going to show up in a short evaluation period. Or am I wrong?

 

[lorwood]

My Grandson (10u moving to 12u next season) is a"good" hockey player. He is one of the best skaters in his local travel age group, he is also one of the best skaters when playing/practicing with the 12u travel players. He was bumped up early to 12u for this years spring league. He was invited to and does practice with the local HS freshman team and currently plays on a modified travel team. The modified travel team is a godsend as it involves less cost, less travel but still gives the kids an opportunity to play competitive hockey. His modified travel team beat the full travel squad in their division for the championship this year. His skating instructor is a retired AHL player and has high praise for his abilities often using him to demonstrate technics to other players. He trains with a coach that has produced a stable of D-1 and NHL players. Coaches from full travel programs often ask if we are considering trying out for one of their squads.

His chances of playing D-3, D-1 or pro hockey at any level? Zero. (Thus the reason I would never consider spending for a full travel program)

If you have yet to go to any out of state tournaments or even go watch a local higher level game within your son's division I would suggest you do so. Remember this game is played by kids all over the globe. Being a good player in your local program is great but the chances of "making" it to the highest level? Let's just say the odds are looooooooong.

 

[Marotte Marauder]

Let him play another sport at a low key level.

Off ice-build his legs and take 50-100 slapshots a day.

Helps his D and his goal scoring abilities.

 

[oldunclehue]

Anyone want to give this question a spin?

Tommy's current coach once told me that the reason Tommy is so good out there is because you never notice him. That you usually notice defencemen because they make a mistake or are out of position, but Tommy is just always in the right position. But that also means, well, that you don't notice him.

I feel like he's the kind of player who coaches just love once they get to know him, but isn't going to show up in a short evaluation period. Or am I wrong?

Coach is right, not everyone on a team can be a goal scorer, good defensemen are hard to find. I have a son who just finished his last year of U11 and is moving up to U13 next year. He sounds very similar to your son, as a defenseman he is very good positionally and rarely has any goals against and can skate, he just hasn't developed the flashy offensive side.

I look at Junior teams and NCAA/WHL/NHL teams, how many D are actually considered "offensive", maybe 1 per team at the NHL level.

I'd stay the course your own, camps in July/August sound like a good plan, give him some time to take a few months off and enjoy time away from the rink.

Also agree with what some posters have said here, you really won't know how amazing your kid is until 14 or so, hitting changes SO SO many players.

I myself played Junior and had the opportunity to go pro but chance at a great career came at 20 years old so I took that. I saw SO many of the players I grew up with who at 10-11-12-13 were STARS and labelled as the next NHL bound kids, once hitting came in and puberty hit everyone they ended up not even making it to Junior. So be patient.

 

[Yukon Joe]

I just wanted to, I dunno if brag is the right word, but talk about my middle kid (2012). I really don't need separate threads for each of my kids, so I'll briefly add it here.

As a hockey player he's pretty average. Coaches aren't exactly singing his praise, but he is trying hard out there. But he's also a really quiet kid. He has one best friend (who he has been friends with since kindergarten) and he gets along really well with his brothers, but he hardly talks to other people.

But he really got hit with the hockey bug this past winter. So much so he asked us to play spring hockey for the first time. So we found him a 4 on 4 league to play in, but warned him he wouldn't know anyone on the team. He was okay with that.

So anyways he had his first game last night. His play was average, but that's not what impressed me. What impressed me is this quiet kid is sitting on the bench talking away with his defence partner about what to do out on the ice - a kid he'd met an hour earlier. How he was answering coach's questions, and even asking him question on the bench about what to do on the ice.

So nice to see him find a voice through hockey.