Oiler fighting

[guymez]

I've never heard of someone not knowing how to punch. It seems like a fairly basic instinct.

It used to be.
Learning how to defend yourself was a big deal back in the day. I think its healthy for young men to know how to properly defend themselves.
Todays young man is a different breed when it comes to that.
Weak Parenting IMO. Likley a weak man (beta) or no man at all involved in raising them.

 

[DavidHasselhoffsFist]

It used to be.
Learning how to defend yourself was a big deal back in the day. I think its healthy for young men to know how to properly defend themselves.
Todays young man is a different breed when it comes to that.
Weak Parenting IMO. Likley a weak man (beta) or no man at all involved in raising them.

Things went wrong the second people said you can’t spank your child. And before some justice warrior blasts me for that remember I said spank not beat.

Edit

I should clarify I do not nor do I ever condone, accept or tolerate child abuse in any form. My hitting remark was intended to refer a spank or the “cuff upside the head”. I apologize if I struck a nerve that is absolutely warranted. I will change my wording but felt an apology was due.

 

[guymez]

Things went wrong the second people said you can’t hit your child. And before some justice warrior blasts me for that remember I said hit not beat.

This is interesting to me.
I agree with you in part about the hitting. More importantly I absolutely beleive that strong parenting has to be a priority. By that I mean parenting in a way that results in strong consequences for a child that acts inappropriately. Clear structure. Strong leadership to provide an example for the child.

Vasolating/weak parents that try to be their kids friend is the type of parenting that creates problem kids. Emotionally immature parents is another issue as the parents are usually too wrapped up in themselves to provide the proper emotional care for their kids.. The lack of structure (and emotional support) around that type of parenting tends to make their kids other peoples problem. Weak parents tend to have kids who throw tantrums and they often give in to the tantrums because it seems easier.

Having said all that good parenting IMO begins once Mom is pregnant.
There have been studies (human and animal) that show that during the 9 months Mom is carrying the child it is interpreting the outside world through her experience. This is important because the child needs to biologically prepare itself for the outside world. So if Mom is stressed and the world is a stressful place then the baby will develop a different part of its brain (hind brain) to give itself the best chance of survival once its born. So a baby born into an stressful situation (emotional imbalanced mother,,,spousal abuse...violent part of of a city...war torn regions...etc) will be born with a predisposition to be difficult...even violent primarily because it doesnt feel safe and being agressive (preprogrammed during pregnancy) is necessary to help the child survive.
Words may not be enough to influence a child that has an over developed hindbrain.
Thats when a corrective measure like hitting may be necessary to help the child understand that there is a consequence for every action. Its tricky though because a child like that might benefit more from a parent that is able to help it feel safe and supported.

So that was a rather lengthy way of saying that hitting should only be an absolute last resort and its only helpful with some children...not all children.

I never once had to hit my kid when he was young but he knew that Dad was no push over and that he had to behave approriately or there would be a consequence. I dont even think that I had to yell at him either. At least I dont remember ever having to yell.

Anyway...very nuanced and complicated topic and this post doesnt begin to touch on the many issues and complications but that in a nutshell is my 2 cents.

 

[ZJuice]

I was never hit my parents. They never had to because I respected them and their rules.
I am very confident in my ability to defend myself because I had a big brother and assholes for cousins. Going to schools which had fighting almost every day probably helped. When my dad learned I had a bully he taught me how to drop scumbags and gave me little training exercises. The gauntlet was one of my favourite hockey practice activities. I loved dusting it up in the corners and pissing off opponents in the crease/slot.

I have met kids though where I thought "that kid needs to be smacked" so maybe my brother and I were a special breed.

 

[guymez]

I was never hit my parents. They never had to because I respected them and their rules.
I am very confident in my ability to defend myself because I had a big brother and assholes for cousins. Going to schools which had fighting almost every day probably helped. When my dad learned I had a bully he taught me how to drop scumbags and gave me little training exercises. The gauntlet was one of my favourite hockey practice activities. I loved dusting it up in the corners and pissing off opponents in the crease/slot.

I have met kids though where I thought "that kid needs to be smacked" so maybe my brother and I were a special breed.

Thats a good Dad IMO.
Your post reminded me of something....

I have a much older cousin who grew up to be very successful financially and very respected in his community. At a family event (he was in his early 60's at this point in time) he was asked what was the most impactful event in his life was.

My cousin immediately spoke about an event when he was 6 years old. This was in a small town and the school bully had chased him home...again. He ran into the house crying and this time my Uncle was home and he asked him what was going on. My cousin pointed out the window at the bully (who was standing across the street defiantly looking at the house). That bully had been tormenting him for weeks up to that point.
My cousin didnt even want to go to school some days and would cry and ask my Aunt if he could stay home....but he would never say why. My uncle told him that enough was enough and to go walk across the street and punch the bully in the nose. My cousin didnt want to do that but my Uncle insisted and told him that he would be watching from the window. So my cousin reluctantly walked up to the bully, stopped in front of him, and punched him square in the nose. The bully ran away crying holding his nose.
My cousing looked at his Dad in the window and he was smiling and nodding.
To this day (according to my cousin) that single event shaped his life. He said that from that day forward he walked through life with great confidence because (as he put it) he had confronted his greatest fear as a chiild.
I often wonder what impact that day would have had on him if my Uncle had gave him different advice.

 

[Drivesaitl]

Connor Brown won a fight with the puck, kind of. The puck battled hard and managed to avoid his stick but trickled in off his leg or something. The puck cried, Rogers place cheered Brown bumping a puck in the net.

Said this in the PGT but pretty much exactly how you figured a first Connor Brown goal would go in.

 

[guymez]

Good video on why its important to learn how to fight....

 

[DavidHasselhoffsFist]

This is interesting to me.
I agree with you in part about the hitting. More importantly I absolutely beleive that strong parenting has to be a priority. By that I mean parenting in a way that results in strong consequences for a child that acts inappropriately. Clear structure. Strong leadership to provide an example for the child.

Vasolating/weak parents that try to be their kids friend is the type of parenting that creates problem kids. Emotionally immature parents is another issue as the parents are usually too wrapped up in themselves to provide the proper emotional care for their kids.. The lack of structure (and emotional support) around that type of parenting tends to make their kids other peoples problem. Weak parents tend to have kids who throw tantrums and they often give in to the tantrums because it seems easier.

Having said all that good parenting IMO begins once Mom is pregnant.
There have been studies (human and animal) that show that during the 9 months Mom is carrying the child it is interpreting the outside world through her experience. This is important because the child needs to biologically prepare itself for the outside world. So if Mom is stressed and the world is a stressful place then the baby will develop a different part of its brain (hind brain) to give itself the best chance of survival once its born. So a baby born into an stressful situation (emotional imbalanced mother,,,spousal abuse...violent part of of a city...war torn regions...etc) will be born with a predisposition to be difficult...even violent primarily because it doesnt feel safe and being agressive (preprogrammed during pregnancy) is necessary to help the child survive.
Words may not be enough to influence a child that has an over developed hindbrain.
Thats when a corrective measure like hitting may be necessary to help the child understand that there is a consequence for every action. Its tricky though because a child like that might benefit more from a parent that is able to help it feel safe and supported.

So that was a rather lengthy way of saying that hitting should only be an absolute last resort and its only helpful with some children...not all children.

I never once had to hit my kid when he was young but he knew that Dad was no push over and that he had to behave approriately or there would be a consequence. I dont even think that I had to yell at him either. At least I dont remember ever having to yell.

Anyway...very nuanced and complicated topic and this post doesnt begin to touch on the many issues and complications but that in a nutshell is my 2 cents.

I appreciate everything you said