Multimoodia
Sicker Than Usual
Negative people only, this ain't Utopia or Shangri-La.
Jackman's still ugly.
Bouwmeester's still as awkward as a member of the computer club at a kegger.
Cole likely can't figure out which skate to put on which foot from day to day.
Shattenkirk has body acceptance issues.
Pietrangelo has forgotten how to play hockey and is now a millstone around the Blues' collective necks. He'll no doubt be traded in his final year to the Kings for another cup run.
Lindbohm is never going to be comfortable at the NHL level since he keeps getting yo-yo'd between the Blues and the Rivermen.
Backes is literally days away from another "NOT A CONCUSSION"
Oshie still has all the grace of a baby giraffe and is never going to improve from what he was last year. Should've traded him.
Steen's evidently having vision problems that keeps him from hitting the net. Likely exacerbated by his nose getting in the way of his sight too often.
Stastny is a bust. Should've signed his father to play.
Berglund is worthless and always will be, the Blues should trade him for Crosby.
Lindstrom...I don't even wanna go there.
Schwartz is tiny and going to spend his entire career hurt.
Lehtera is going to get worn down and by the playoffs will be completely unable to accomplish anything. On a positive note that means he'll fit right in with the rest of the team.
Tarasenko is going to get his big contract signed in the offseason and then promptly get a grade 15 concussion and find himself believing his name is Jose Rodriguez and plays beisbol. He'll sign with the Cardinals and lead them to another championship.
Reaves is a no talent goon
Ott...
Lapierre is a cheap-shot artist whose style of play is going to cost the Blues big one game. Then the entire team will turn on him lack a pack of rabid wolverines.
Jaskin will forever be unable to beat a snail on salt lick in a race
Rattie floats more than 100ft balloon full of helium.
Fabbri is going to have relapses from his injury earlier this year, never amounting to anything
Barbashev is going to go back to the KHL after the Blues accidentally cut Jaskin when some Blues intern can't figure out that Yaskin = Jaskin.
Elliott is only a matter of time before he turns back into the goalie that played on the Senators.
Allen is horrendously overrated and always chokes at crunch time.
Brodeur is older than some people's grandparents.
Hitch is going to vapor lock after the team forgets what buy-in is supposed to be.
Kirk Muller is going to remember that he wanted to coach the Canadiens.
Moe Howard is eventually going to snap and start poking people in their eyes, thus forcing the injury bug to hit harder than expected.
Armstrong is going to attempt to sign every player who has ever suited in a Dallas Stars jersey, eventually luring Derrian Hatcher out of retirement with promises of playing him on the first pairing for $10 million per year.
The team will be sold to some investors from Quebec City who will move the team and win the Stanley Cup the first year there.
Cody Beach will cry.
Jackman's still ugly.
Bouwmeester's still as awkward as a member of the computer club at a kegger.
Cole likely can't figure out which skate to put on which foot from day to day.
Shattenkirk has body acceptance issues.
Pietrangelo has forgotten how to play hockey and is now a millstone around the Blues' collective necks. He'll no doubt be traded in his final year to the Kings for another cup run.
Lindbohm is never going to be comfortable at the NHL level since he keeps getting yo-yo'd between the Blues and the Rivermen.
Backes is literally days away from another "NOT A CONCUSSION"
Oshie still has all the grace of a baby giraffe and is never going to improve from what he was last year. Should've traded him.
Steen's evidently having vision problems that keeps him from hitting the net. Likely exacerbated by his nose getting in the way of his sight too often.
Stastny is a bust. Should've signed his father to play.
Berglund is worthless and always will be, the Blues should trade him for Crosby.
Lindstrom...I don't even wanna go there.
Schwartz is tiny and going to spend his entire career hurt.
Lehtera is going to get worn down and by the playoffs will be completely unable to accomplish anything. On a positive note that means he'll fit right in with the rest of the team.
Tarasenko is going to get his big contract signed in the offseason and then promptly get a grade 15 concussion and find himself believing his name is Jose Rodriguez and plays beisbol. He'll sign with the Cardinals and lead them to another championship.
Reaves is a no talent goon
Ott...
Lapierre is a cheap-shot artist whose style of play is going to cost the Blues big one game. Then the entire team will turn on him lack a pack of rabid wolverines.
Jaskin will forever be unable to beat a snail on salt lick in a race
Rattie floats more than 100ft balloon full of helium.
Fabbri is going to have relapses from his injury earlier this year, never amounting to anything
Barbashev is going to go back to the KHL after the Blues accidentally cut Jaskin when some Blues intern can't figure out that Yaskin = Jaskin.
Elliott is only a matter of time before he turns back into the goalie that played on the Senators.
Allen is horrendously overrated and always chokes at crunch time.
Brodeur is older than some people's grandparents.
Hitch is going to vapor lock after the team forgets what buy-in is supposed to be.
Kirk Muller is going to remember that he wanted to coach the Canadiens.
Moe Howard is eventually going to snap and start poking people in their eyes, thus forcing the injury bug to hit harder than expected.
Armstrong is going to attempt to sign every player who has ever suited in a Dallas Stars jersey, eventually luring Derrian Hatcher out of retirement with promises of playing him on the first pairing for $10 million per year.
The team will be sold to some investors from Quebec City who will move the team and win the Stanley Cup the first year there.
Cody Beach will cry.
