Video My kid had his first hockey fight. Proud or Unnerved? (Video page 2)

[Slats432]

I'd be more interested to know if he's proud of himself or unnerved. 16 year olds are still basically children in a lot of cognitive ways. It's easy for us to speculate/project about why or what it felt like. But he's playing at a really high level, so I agree that it doesn't really matter if he wants to or not--this is what you both signed up for. There's going to be overwhelming pressure for him to fight if not regularly, then at least to prove his willingness. In the end, every sports career is a race against time, and every time someone has their first fisticuffs, the clock has just started ticking for him to reach the success they want before wear and tear catches up like it does to all contact sports athletes.

I really haven't talked to him much about it with a couple more camps since. From first glance he seemed pretty positive about it. He also has a big smile when people talk to him about it. A random Dad this weekend said to him. "Hey, you are the kid that fought in Brooks right?" So the notoriety and positive responses probably feel pretty good. It might have been a different story had he not performed well.

 

[SR]

This might be against my better judgement but a couple seconds after the goalie was poked.

Absolutely love it. and without question be proud of your son. You did a great job raising him to not only stand up for himself, but his team mates as well. That will go well beyond the ice on a lot of things. He certainly showed restraint too, another positive, but being engaged to that certain point, it was time to go.

Anyone that says anything other wise, do not understand the value your kid brings to a team, a employer, a friend, ect or have ever played the game at a higher level. Shows trust, accountability and teamsmanship. Good luck to your boy! And be proud of what he did, not a whole lot of them out there like that anymore.

 

[Fantomas]

I'd suspend his allowance for a period. 16 year olds should not be fighting whatsoever.

Instead of doing this, ask your kid to ethically justify what he did. If he can make an articulate argument for why his actions are ethical - and I bet he can - then back off.

Parents should be raising critical human beings who are able to think for themselves. Punishments like this achieve nothing.

 

[skipjack]

Pretty clear you dont have a son then

It could be about the damage a still developing brain of a 16 year old might take. Not that good.

 

[Jacob]

OP never actually said he was proud. He said he wasn't sure if he should feel proud or unnerved. I think that's normal.

As long as your son (or my son) is aware of the risks of fighting, both to himself and his opponent, and picks his spots wisely, I don't see much of an issue. There's a risk to all things. A life could be altered by a fight, but a life could be altered by a bad hit along the boards too. Maybe a young kid developing a reputation as someone that'll defend himself and others is less likely to take those kind of questionable hits.

 

[Loffer]

A fair and healthy little fist fight every now and then during boys adolescent years is not out of place at all.

 

[tarheelhockey]

Instead of doing this, ask your kid to ethically justify what he did. If he can make an articulate argument for why his actions are ethical - and I bet he can - then back off.

Parents should be raising critical human beings who are able to think for themselves. Punishments like this achieve nothing.

I would add a bit of nuance to this -- sometimes the ethical thing still involves a punishment.

The punishment actually does achieve something -- it trains the young man to be aware that the rules are the rules regardless of his opinion. That's critically important for raising someone who is both strong enough to do the ethical thing in the face of suffering, and smart enough to stay in his lane unless absolutely necessary.

 

[Slats432]

I would add a bit of nuance to this -- sometimes the ethical thing still involves a punishment.

The punishment actually does achieve something -- it trains the young man to be aware that the rules are the rules regardless of his opinion. That's critically important for raising someone who is both strong enough to do the ethical thing in the face of suffering, and smart enough to stay in his lane unless absolutely necessary.

There was and will be no punishment for standing up for a teammate with what is recognized in the sport as a way for two "men" to settle their differences. I would rather that then him two hand the guy and break his ankle. I just feel concerned that once he has fought it would be a more regular occurrence and without the same provocation. I don't want him to be a goon, I want him to be a hockey player that plays an honest tough game and stands up for his teammates. And if that means the odd fisticuffs, although always concerned for him, accept that it may occur again.

 

[tarheelhockey]

There was and will be no punishment for standing up for a teammate with what is recognized in the sport as a way for two "men" to settle their differences.

Not saying there should be in this case. Just that depending on the situation, I could very well understand a parent patting their kid on the shoulder, saying "you did the right thing", and still taking away the car keys for the weekend. Sometimes approval and punishment are not completely exclusive.

 

[Slats432]

Not saying there should be in this case. Just that depending on the situation, I could very well understand a parent patting their kid on the shoulder, saying "you did the right thing", and still taking away the car keys for the weekend. Sometimes approval and punishment are not completely exclusive.

Interesting perspective. Nope, wasn't punishing him but did say that we don't pay thousands of dollars to watch goon hockey. We want him to do it if necessary but make sure it's necessary.

 

[Beville]

What an absolute beast of a human; technique needs improving but good effort.

 

[Quid Pro Clowe]

He dropped his gloves then threw off the other guys lol

 

[rt]

He dropped his gloves then threw off the other guys lol

Holy hell! I didn't notice that the first time. Haha. Rad.

 

[lawrence]

Why?

I don't believe it's something to be proud about.

 

[harmonica]

This might be against my better judgement but a couple seconds after the goalie was poked.

I see these refs have a solid NHL career ahead of them of sitting by and doing nothing.

(It's a joke, I used to ref and know how it goes)

 

[Edmonton East]

Make sure he stops throwing that right hand with his wrist unlocked (it's bent). He will break it if he doesn't.

 

[Pantokrator]

I'm all for fighting to protect/stand up for teammates. I think standing up for the goalie is an honorable thing to do and one that makes him an invaluable part of that team.

 

[Slats432]

I see these refs have a solid NHL career ahead of them of sitting by and doing nothing.

(It's a joke, I used to ref and know how it goes)

At Spring camps you are lucky to even have refs. Some of them will have current players ref games. Also, there isn't tons of fighting in Spring AJHL camps. I would say 75% of them tell the boys not to fight. Sherwood Park Crusaders and Brooks are both ones that do not outright say no fighting.

 

[Moskau]

He needs to save those hammer punches for the streets. He's lucky they they slid off the helmet with that wrist bent because if those landed flush he would have likely broke his wrist.

 

[McDonald19]

Man, you guys have good eyes. I can't see the bent wrist.

 

[McDonald19]

He is 16. AJHL camp. He is a fierce defender of teammates and his goalie was jabbed by an opposing forward. He initiated retribution. The player who was already junior aged was wearing a visor and said to him to take off his cage, which he tore off and engaged.

Why didn't the other guy take his helmet off too so your son didn't have to punch visor?

 

[Brock Radunske]

Good for him for standing up to his teammates but I'm not a fan of guys with full cages starting fights with kids with only visors (unless of course he isn't old enough to wear a visor)

 

[namttebih]

I don't know how much high level hockey you have watched. Whether I or you like fighting in the game, it is part of the game. We as parents told him we do not approve of him being an aggressor in fighting, but if an event happens that requires it, we accept the necessity. If his teammate gets hit from behind into the boards, he can react in a number of ways and if that in Junior hockey becomes a fight, then so be it. We do not approve of the initiation of either the reasons to fight or initiation of the fighting itself.

Pride comes from a spot where he engaged because his goalie got sticked. He took on two players older than himself to defend his goalie. The other player said "Take off your cage.", which he did. The combat was fair and honourable. The two combatants got out of the box and tapped each other on the shins and chatted in the hallway afterwards as friends.

I respect your position on fighting and in many ways agree, but you may parent your children how you wish. Also, if you do not like fighting, I am not sure this particular section of HF was designed for you.

Great post.

I think that this goes way beyond hockey. My kids are a lot younger but they have always been taught to turn the other cheek when applicable and to obviously never bully or attack someone unprovoked. That being said, bullies are a very real thing and must be stood up to. Life isn't fair. Some people just need to be pounded.

 

[pigpen65]

As long as he doesn't make a habit out of it no worries. I have to be honest, personally i would be proud as hell. But i understand the dichotomy.

 

[Slats432]

Why didn't the other guy take his helmet off too so your son didn't have to punch visor?

I am sure that he was surprised my boy accommodated. It isn't as necessary and if a big guy starts coming at me I would worry about the fight not my visor.