Kids Burnout

[Free Probie]

My 7 year old has played for 3 years. This year he wanted to play spring as well as go to a 2 week summer camp. This season he is playing on a new team and has talked about not playing next year. I have encouraged him to stick with it and take the spring and summer off before making a drastic decision. Anyone else ever experience a situation like this?

I am an asst coach and wonder if I back off completely if it would help or hurt the situation.

Any Ideas?

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[mac-sniper]

probies free, i live not too far from him. plays in a league on a dif night than me. dangler

 

[Free Probie]

Is he still out of control or am I going to have to change my user name?

 

[2x4*]

I quit baseball at about the same age and started hockey 2 years later. I dont know how that helps at all, but meh.

 

[EmptyNetter]

My 7 year old has played for 3 years. This year he wanted to play spring as well as go to a 2 week summer camp. This season he is playing on a new team and has talked about not playing next year. I have encouraged him to stick with it and take the spring and summer off before making a drastic decision. Anyone else ever experience a situation like this?

I am an asst coach and wonder if I back off completely if it would help or hurt the situation.

Any Ideas?

I don't have kids so take this for what it's worth. It might not be hockey as much as fitting in with a new bunch of kids. At that age he'd probably do anything if involved hanging out with his friends. It could always be a conflict with his coach or maybe he's stuck on a particular skill and is getting frustrated. Bottom line is, when hockey stops being fun he's going to look to quit. This may call for some ice cream and a father-son chat to see if anything's bothering him.

Good luck

BTW, I've always found Dan Bylsma's website to be a great hockey resource. He runs a camp for kids but has also played in the NHL, most recently for the Mighty Ducks. Topics are alphabetical and he's got a few entries about player burnout: http://www.danbylsma.com/search/search.htm

 

[Nbr-17]

My son's 8 and has been playing since he was 4. He's played throughoutthe last two summers and has gone to numerous camps. He als has changed teams twice the last couple of years. Hockey is still is favorite thing in life. From the sounds of it your son is not all that different. My guess would be that he might be a little intimidated on the new team and needs to make friends. At this age it's just as much about hanging around with friends than playing hockey.
I would tell him that he can't let the team down by quitting and if he still wants to stop after the season, that's a different story. But my guess would be though that by then he'll have made new friends and wants to stick with them.
As far as the coachiing goes, I would just ask him what he thinks. I find that those little guys can form an opinion and I think as a parent I should respect that opinion.
Well that's my opinion anyways.

 

[Puckboy]

I agree with the others. I would bet that is has to do with the team he is playing with. My guess is he had buddies on the other team which made it more enjoyable. As far as you coaching I do not think that is a problem unless you are always on him to work harder and do things right. Based on the fact you are asking the question you do not seem to be that guy. My son is the same age and I always worry that I am going to burn him out. I don't have him skate during the summer and encourage other sports. This year he knows more players on his team and can not wait to get to the rink. Good luck

 

[mac-sniper]

hes the nicest guy ive ever met man. he had a job to do in the show, but people forget that he scored liek 30 goals one year and was a good hockey player.

 

[EmptyNetter]

I am an asst coach and wonder if I back off completely if it would help or hurt the situation.

I just reread your post. For some reason I thought you were an asst coach for another team (had relevant experience, but were not one of his coaches).

My dad coached my high school swim team (many years ago). He's a laid back guy so I didn't feel a lot of pressure to perform well but I thought I had to be on my best behavior a lot. Maybe your son feels "too grown" to be playing on his dad's team or if the other kids are teasing him a bit. I still advise the ice cream and chat approach, but it might be tough for him to talk about if your being asst. coach is part of the problem (no offense to you, of course).

 

[MikeD]

I dotn know how you handle it but with my son only on ice am I Coach. Off ice you have to be DAD. Bottom line is the choice is totally his. You know the grief a kid takes being one of the Coach's kids. You might consider not coaching his teams. just be DAD and let the little guy choose his own path. If its not FUN for him....

 

[Free Probie]

Thanks for all your help, in particular the Dan Bylsma site really helped. Had a talk with him and it turns out it is a combination of the new team and his Dad trying to hard at coaching the new kids, thus leaving him with a lack of attention. He asked me if we could skate this weekend just me and him "no groups" and thats what triggered the talk. It's a good reminder that all time with your kid isn't necessarily the quality time they need. Thanks again for the input.

 

[UvBnDatsyuked]

My 7 year old has played for 3 years. This year he wanted to play spring as well as go to a 2 week summer camp. This season he is playing on a new team and has talked about not playing next year. I have encouraged him to stick with it and take the spring and summer off before making a drastic decision. Anyone else ever experience a situation like this?

I am an asst coach and wonder if I back off completely if it would help or hurt the situation.

Any Ideas?

Bring the fun back into hockey for him. No Hockey Camps during summer. Instead Swim, BBall, etc. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. It will rejuvinate him. Taking summers off has not hurt anyone's development. Canada, US, Sweden, Russia have many players in the NHL who played soccer, lacrosse during the off season and got away from the rink

Right now take him to as much Shinny, open hockey as you can. Let him just play the game without being told by coaches "Hey you can't do that move at the blue line" "Hey your a right winger, you can't go there"
My son had a big burn out coming on a couple years ago. One day he got a phone call from a few buddies who were going to a pick up hockey game. No coaches, no refs just friends playing. He basically fell back in love with hockey again. He plays pick up hockey a ton and his skill level has made huge gains to boot

Good luck

 

[eaton28]

if he doesn't want to play, don't push him... it is his own decision, he will play if it is in his heart. IMO i don't think kids that young should be playing in summer leagues, let the kids play soccer or lacrosse in the summer.

i've been playing since i was 4 and i am 17 now (last year of midget) quitting has gone through my mind many times... but now i am better then i've ever been. My parents never pushed me to play in the summer, and i have never wanted to, just gotta let the kid make his own life decisions. If he really wants to try and go somewhere, you'll know it.

 

[EmptyNetter]

Thanks for all your help, in particular the Dan Bylsma site really helped. Had a talk with him and it turns out it is a combination of the new team and his Dad trying to hard at coaching the new kids, thus leaving him with a lack of attention. He asked me if we could skate this weekend just me and him "no groups" and thats what triggered the talk. It's a good reminder that all time with your kid isn't necessarily the quality time they need. Thanks again for the input.

That's awesome! Glad the situation worked itself out. It amazes me how good kids are at identifying what's wrong. And kudos to you for being there to listen.

 

[Hank19]

This is a touchy subject.
Some will say that as long as the kid wants to play let him. But I've heard other parents say that it's best to let them play something different in the off season to keep their love going.

I've heard several pro athletes say that, even if your kid wants it, make them do something different. They said it would be no different than if you're kid studied nothing but Math all year in school and neglected Science, Geography and English.

I know that when I was growing up I couldn't wait to get back to the rink after summer was done. It kept my passion burning.

 

[MikeD]

Other sports also lend themselves to Hockey. My youngest plays ODP and travel soccer during his "Off Season" and many others play baseball. The skills and conditioning of these other sports will help improve or maintain hockey skills.