Advice: How to delicately ask a person to leave the team?

Discussion in 'The Rink' started by pz29, Oct 9, 2017.

  1. pz29

    pz29 Registered User

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    I captain a beer league team of "advanced beginners," and we have a situation where the team has indicated to me that they want me to ask a certain member of the squad to leave. I want to do it, but I want to not come across as mean or rude.

    What I am about to describe may come across as us wanting him gone because of the way he plays, but that is not the main issue. Yes, he is the worst player on the team (none of us are that great), but he thinks that he is the best. He is constantly demanding more ice-time, PP time, play defense, whatever.

    That we can, maybe, overlook and laugh off. The other issue, we cannot. Half-way through the season, the rink manager has told me that the guy had not paid (where I play, players pay the rink directly). As a result, he was suspended and missed the last 2 games of the regular season and all of the playoffs.

    So, my question is this: any captains have had to do this and how did you handle this? Thanks in advance.
     
  2. HansonBro

    HansonBro Registered User

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    I'm a tad confused. So the season is over and now you're leading up to winter season? If that's the case just tell him the roster spot is full by someone who actually paid.
     
  3. dr robbie

    dr robbie Let's Go Pens!

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    I was thinking that as well. If possible, just don't invite him to the next season.
     
  4. pz29

    pz29 Registered User

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    We play short seasons here ,kind of non-stop. Had the last game of the playoffs last night, and the next season starts on the 22nd. I might just have to do that.
     
  5. HansonBro

    HansonBro Registered User

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    You could even call and find out if he's even payed up for last season and further strengthen your reasoning
     
  6. pz29

    pz29 Registered User

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    Good idea. The rink has told the non-payers that they would not be able to continue until they have paid up all past debts.
     
  7. ref19

    ref19 Registered User

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    Don't lie to him.
     
  8. BruinDust

    BruinDust Registered User

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    This

    Clearly your teammate is oblivious to the problem, and it isn't just you but several of you're teammates who feel the same way.

    If you feed him a line about lack of paying as the only problem, he'll just go to another team or group, and repeat the same mistakes, and the cycle will continue.

    I am assuming he's an adult, so he should be able to handle the criticism. Remember you're not criticizing his play, but his overall attitude.
     
  9. pz29

    pz29 Registered User

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    Of course, I will be honest. He is an adult, but he seems to delude himself thinking that he is a much better player than he is. I know that we all have those kinds of moments at times, but this is an extreme case. To make matters worse, he was placed on our team by the rink when no one picked him up in the draft,
     
  10. BruinDust

    BruinDust Registered User

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    I don't envy you're position.

    I would daresay his "rep" is also known by other teams.
     
  11. puckpilot

    puckpilot Registered User

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    Managing a team can be a thankless job.

    But to me you have to very legitimate issues that you can bring to him.

    First is the payment. If he doesn't pay and doesn't play, then your team is down a man, and that's not fair to the rest of the team, especially going into the playoffs. If the team can't count on him then they're going to have to find someone they can count on. It's a team sport and he let the team down in a big way, and that's completely unacceptable. Imagine if he was the goalie? How far up spit creek would that have put the team? Being a good teammate means not screwing them over, which he kind of did.

    Second is attitude. Everyone pays and everyone plays, which kind of goes back to the first issue, but I digress. Anyway, ice time should be as equal as possible, especially if everyone is learning. Nobody gets better by just sitting on the bench. Everyone gets a fair shot at being the hero. Tell him there's no special treatment in ice time for players on your team, and him demanding that shows that he's just not a fit for how the team wants to operate. Of course there are exceptions to ice time like down by a goal with a minute to play, and play offs, but that has to be mutually agreed on and discussed before hand.
     
  12. Eazy for Kuzy

    Eazy for Kuzy Forever a Caps fan

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    This answers OP's question. Say all of that to the guy, and ask him to pay the rink and change his attitude. If he doesn't do both, threaten to kick him off the team.
     
  13. Pez68

    Pez68 Registered User

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    I wouldn't worry about being mean...or rude. I mean, he's not worried about how others perceive him based on his behavior, so you shouldn't be worried about his feelings when dealing with him. Tell him to hit the road and tell him exactly why. Because you suck, you didn't pay, and nobody likes you or your attitude. Finish it off with a "I wish you luck!"
     
  14. Ozz

    Ozz Registered User

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    Don't feel bad about telling that guy what the problem is. Reminds me of some people I know, who just bring it upon themselves.
     
  15. Mattb124

    Mattb124 Registered User

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    As a captain, I will tell you this: it is easier to tell a bad player the team no longer wants him than to have to replace 2-3 good and/or responsible players who leave because of the bad player. Been there, done that.

    It sucks, but remember you have a pair and the discomfort of the conversation will be short compared to keeping that player.
     
  16. pz29

    pz29 Registered User

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    Thanks for your advice, everyone. I think we have now resolved the issue, and, let me just say that we had a good conversation, noone got offended, and the guy is not coming back.
     
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  17. nilan30

    nilan30 Registered User

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    I was gonna say a well placed slapper to the back of the knee could fix it but I guess you took the more mature route haha
     
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  18. BM14

    BM14 Registered User

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    Most important question: has he paid in full?
     
  19. pz29

    pz29 Registered User

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    Not my problem anymore, fortunately.
     
  20. Jacob

    Jacob Registered User Sponsor

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    I just told a guy once "nobody in this room wants you back next season" and that was that.
     

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