Hockey mom wants daughter allowed in boys' change room

[PDO]

I think you guys need to get out of the 1950's.

As long as I can remember, I've changed in the same locker rooms with guys. They've always walked around however they wanted, said whatever they've said and it's never been a big deal for me or any other female I know that grew up playing guys hockey OR the guys we've played with. It's no more a liability than if she were to change in a locker room with girls.

Sorry, have to call BS on you.

I've had two different girls on my team the last two years, and guys have definetly let up because of a girl being there (different girl each year). There's girls leagues for a reason. As much as the girls were treated well, there were several people unhappy with her being there - and they have every right to be. Another poster said he wouldn't be allowed to play in a girls league; why should it be any different?

 

[RedK]

I'm with Canadahockeygirl. I'm a female player. I've been on teams where I've changed with my male teammates, and I've been on teams where we were separate. It's never been a big deal when I want to change with the guys. Changing away from them makes it very difficult to be a full part of the team.

As for the risks, if your team is going to focus and bond around sex, they are going to do it no matter who is in the locker room or where the female player is. Will she have to ride to the game in a separate car so she won't be the only girl on the bus with them? Not attend team functions so she won't be the only girl?

Girls and women take risks merely by existing. There's nothing we can do to make ourselves completely safe from ****, assault, harrassment, theft, murder or anything else. But if a girl has to worry about this sort of stuff from her teammates, then the team has a whole lot bigger problems than whether there is a girl changing on the bench next to you.

 

[DJmastamind]

The hockey locker room or any sports locker room is not a place where normal social decorum is followed. The boys would be open to a lot of liability if they let a girl into the locker room. Even if she seems okay with it, you never know how far you could push the envelope before she would claim she was harassed.

Its a very sensitive situation to be sure, but I think seperate locker rooms are the better move.

I agree! I'm a girl that has played in boys/mens leagues and teams before. As much as I am laidback and whatnot, I fully agree that in this case seperate locker rooms are needed.

Listen boys are boys and i'm sure there are things that go on in the lockerroom I don't wanna know about, same with girls. Girls are girls and i'm sure you boys don't wanna know what goes on in our lockerroom, either.
Does that make sense??

 

[Blind Gardien]

Some of the teams I've been on... jeez, I wouldn't want my son in those lockerrooms, never mind my daughter!

I dunno... intellectually, I get the idea about how good it would be to start changing society's inhibitions, about inclusiveness, acceptance, etc... but... practically as a parent... I just can't see using my own child to push that particular envelope.

 

[canadahockeygirl*]

Dude, I grew up in the early 80's. There weren't many girls leagues north of Boston back then until you got to the boarding school level, which is what I eventually did to play girls hockey. I wasn't going to make my parents drive all the way down to the South Shore for 6 am practices. I was pretty much forced into playing with the guys if I wanted to play at all.

My public HS coach (a guys team) said that he wouldn't ever let a chick in his locker room because it ruins the team bonding and whatever other excuse he could come up with hoping it would deter me from playing. So I'd change IN THE HALL outside the locker room (why plain view of the public was OK, but not the team, I'll never understand). Eventually the guys brought a petition to him asking if I could come back in-- they changed with me every weekend since we were kids and at that point they were like brothers to me, so what's the difference? I was allowed in and actually got to be part of the team instead of a player that showed up when it was convenient. The guys were very respectful of me, yet still joked around like they always had. Maybe in my situation it was more of a comfort level since I was always around. But since HS when the guys weren't as familiar (being on a club team in college and now in a few mens' leagues), I've never had an issue with people pinning me down and locking me into a gang bang. They still shoot their mouths off and don't hold anything back, but nothing horrid has ever happened. I'd like to think of this as the rule, not the exception.

I agree with you all that some guys can be stupid and immature. But it doesn't classify all male hockey players. If it's that big of a deal, maybe the line should be drawn at allowing a female on the team, instead of not letting her in the locker room.

 

[Backin72]

If the female wants to be with the males, so be it. How are we to progress in society if we can't get past the sexual barrier? Women have far too long been forced to take the back seat. Time to take that one step forward instead of the two steps back.

 

[Wisent]

I played with a girl in high school and it was almost an even bigger hit to camradarie when she would come in the locker room because everyone would change their behavior. The argument that they miss out on team bonding by changing in another room is flawed because of the changes that would occur if a woman changed with the men. It would have to be a very special girl for all of this to go off without a hitch.

I was just thinking about what would happen if the shoe was on the other foot, but there is no way I or any man would be able to change in a woman's locker room. Not for hockey. Not for soccer. Not for anything.

When I did dancing I had to, there was no other room vacant. Wasn't a problem, ever. I experienced it vice versa as well. Nothing bad to report.

 

[Twist and Shout]

For males, the locker room is a place to let loose and really, anything goes. If a girl doesn't mind being in that environment, then all the power to her. But that girl would likely be jumping to press charges when a stupid teammate does something that would normally be acceptable in the locker room, had the girl not been there.

Frankly, I basically don't understand why girls are allowed to play in men's leagues. Call me a sexist but if good female players are allowed to play on a team with men, then why aren't crappy male players allowed to play on women's teams? I understand that some cities don't have sufficient programs/teams for women to participate in and only then can I realize why girls would want to play on a men's team.

If women are allowed into men's locker rooms, then shouldn't men be allowed to change in women's locker rooms?

There aren't a lot of male/female washrooms for a reason.

 

[arrbez]

For males, the locker room is a place to let loose and really, anything goes. If a girl doesn't mind being in that environment, then all the power to her. But that girl would likely be jumping to press charges when a stupid teammate does something that would normally be acceptable in the locker room, had the girl not been there.

exactly, I remember the changeroom as a place to fart and have wrestling matches and talk about boobies. If a girl has no problem with that, then she's welcome to stay

 

[Bloody Sabbath]

hang on, how old are they? if they're like 7....sure.

 

[SkateLikeTheWind]

exactly, I remember the changeroom as a place to fart and have wrestling matches and talk about boobies. If a girl has no problem with that, then she's welcome to stay

You missed out if that's the most obscene your locker room got.

 

[canadahockeygirl*]

For males, the locker room is a place to let loose and really, anything goes. If a girl doesn't mind being in that environment, then all the power to her. But that girl would likely be jumping to press charges when a stupid teammate does something that would normally be acceptable in the locker room, had the girl not been there.

I think that's a misconception that a lot of people have about women. We're not these delicate flowers that haven't ever heard a sex joke or something like that. Most of us (or at least all the ones I have known to play hockey) can handle a little sexual harassment now and then and will give it back in abundance.

Frankly, I basically don't understand why girls are allowed to play in men's leagues. Call me a sexist but if good female players are allowed to play on a team with men, then why aren't crappy male players allowed to play on women's teams? I understand that some cities don't have sufficient programs/teams for women to participate in and only then can I realize why girls would want to play on a men's team.

One, lack of options. Two, it's a different game. Three, cost.

Right now I play with men becuase it's more competitive and if I get involved in a mens league it's only around $350 (for a skater) as opposed to minimum $750 (that's a price for a goalie, not a skater) in womens leagues for sub-par special olympics hockey. In a nutshell, if I'm playing, I want it competitive-- even if it's above my level.

But a bigger reason I play with men is that I hate the BS that goes on with womens teams. Womens' hockey SUCKS-- at my age, there are very few non-beginner D-level recreation teams, and when you get a player that thinks she's cool because she just figured out how to lift a puck at 27, the ego is unrealistic. It makes it hard to play also when your captains are dating (my HS girls team had that happen, and in college it happened as well) or when you have a meltdown because girls are catty. Even at 45 years old, they're still going at it. I've never experienced that with any of the boys or mens teams I've been on. You go in the locker room, shoot the ****, go out and play, come back to the locker room, shoot more ****, get a few beers, then go on your way.

If a guy really wants to dumb down his game and play womens' hockey, more power to him. It's not the same game as mens' hockey. Granted the goal is the same, but a lot of people enjoy the physical aspect of the mens rules.

If women are allowed into men's locker rooms, then shouldn't men be allowed to change in women's locker rooms?

There aren't a lot of male/female washrooms for a reason.

Some men do. They're called transvestites.

 

[Snap Wilson]

Girls are girls and i'm sure you boys don't wanna know what goes on in our lockerroom, either.

I want to know!

 

[Hedberg]

Definately not at that age

 

[arrbez]

You missed out if that's the most obscene your locker room got.

well, I'm thinking back more to my days as an 11-15 year old

but I've had the full changeroom experience in both hockey and lacrosse. Having played university lacrosse for the last couple years, I can confidently say that there are no bigger dirtbags in the world than lacrosse players

 

[MaV]

I agree with you all that some guys can be stupid and immature. But it doesn't classify all male hockey players.

This is just something that caught my attention... aren't boys supposed to be immature by definition?

I can't really say anything about the subject, but most likely those girls who play with boys don't usually have the problem with sharing the locker room. Of course in a bigger team there are then different boys, some might find it amusing to have a girl there and some might be uncomfortable. Those who would not fall under either category would probably benefit from the more heterogeneous enviroment. I have no idea what it might so for "the team" and its performance, nor do I know if that is actually even so important.

 

[Lard_Lad]

I think that's a misconception that a lot of people have about women. We're not these delicate flowers that haven't ever heard a sex joke or something like that. Most of us (or at least all the ones I have known to play hockey) can handle a little sexual harassment now and then and will give it back in abundance.

I agree, but given that in this case her mother has taken the case to the Human Rights Tribunal, can you blame the MHA for wondering what her reaction is going to be the first time her daughter mentions that somebody made an off-color comment?

(Incidentally, has anybody here been in the Lumby arena recently? My recollection of it from the early 80's is that it was pretty well-appointed for a small-town rink - big dressing rooms, and several of them. That makes me wonder why they were sticking her in boiler rooms and storage spaces to change, but maybe I'm confusing it with someplace else.)

 

[canadahockeygirl*]

well, I'm thinking back more to my days as an 11-15 year old

but I've had the full changeroom experience in both hockey and lacrosse. Having played university lacrosse for the last couple years, I can confidently say that there are no bigger dirtbags in the world than lacrosse players

Rugby players are VERY huge dirtbags.

 

[canadahockeygirl*]

Think of a male locker room, then take out the penises. Sometimes you can add a little hot girl on girl action, but they're not going to be girls you ever want to watch doing this hot girl on girl action.

It's pretty much as nasty as the boys locker room. Only we tend to go into some more sordid details

 

[Twist and Shout]

I think that's a misconception that a lot of people have about women. We're not these delicate flowers that haven't ever heard a sex joke or something like that. Most of us (or at least all the ones I have known to play hockey) can handle a little sexual harassment now and then and will give it back in abundance.

Sex jokes are pretty much bound to happen in any situation in a guys locker room. It's the more "amusing" stuff that makes me wonder why a girl would want to share a locker room with a bunch of guys. Have you ever had a guy in your locker room wave his dick at you? If you haven't, I'd say you're pretty lucky as the guys probably don't feel comfortable to do it in front of you. But stuff like that (and much worse) happens all the time in male locker rooms on a lot of teams.

I have a lot of female friends who play hockey on guys teams and they're always the butt-end of jokes, no matter what. One of my friends was forced to change in the guys locker room because of the lack of another usable locker room to use prior to a game, and she was almost rap-ed by one of her teammates before someone called the coach.

I don't have anything against girls playing on men's teams if they're good enough. I just don't understand why they would deal with the "jokes" they would face, regardless of how much they love competition. Women being allowed to share a locker room with guys IMHO should never be allowed unless the girl knows all of the guys on the team very well, and it would be better if she also had a brother or a member of her family on the team.

 

[SOS]

If boys aren't allowed in the girls change room, then girls shouldn't be allowed in the boys change room. Simple as that. Breaking barriers, getting out of the 50's...blah blah. It goes both ways. I'm sick of these double standards.

EQUAL RIGHTS FOR MEN!!!

 

[Sammy*]

If the female wants to be with the males, so be it. .

So its a one way street in your world? The minorities tyranny over the majority?
Yeah, no doubt you would give the male the same benifit with a bunch of females.

 

[Jacob]

I think that's a misconception that a lot of people have about women. We're not these delicate flowers that haven't ever heard a sex joke or something like that. Most of us (or at least all the ones I have known to play hockey) can handle a little sexual harassment now and then and will give it back in abundance.

For every girl that can handle the odd sexist/misogynistic remark, there are probably two or three that will slap a lawsuit on you. As a male, it's simply not worth the risk to even contemplate making such remarks in the presence of a female.

 

[Backin72]

So its a one way street in your world? The minorities tyranny over the majority?
Yeah, no doubt you would give the male the same benifit with a bunch of females.

Stand back fella, never said it was a one way street, unless you'd like to point that out to me.

Don't make assumptions.

 

[Pure Rock Fury*]

I've had girls on my team several times, they've always been allowed in the lockerroom, and there's never been any problems. Nobody changed the way they acted just because there was a girl in the room. When you're in that locker room or on the ice, we're all teammates, it doesn't matter if they're male or female.