Great Idea to Save the NHL!!!!

Discussion in 'The Business of Hockey' started by Haj, Mar 2, 2005.

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  1. Haj

    Haj #CatsAreComing

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    1. Bettman and Goodenow should be replaced by high tech unfeeling ruthless death robots, basically there would be no difference.

    2. There should be a salary cap at 40 Million, which will be adjusted upwards or downwards based on a variety of arguments, such as league profit, the phases of the moon, the performance of owner's lucrative stocks and bonds, airfare to Fiji.


    3. The following teams will be contracted and replaced with AHL franchises:
    Montreal
    Florida
    New York Rangers
    Quebec
    Dallas
    Winnipeg
    Carolina

    How did I choose this teams ? Essentially, I pulled them out of a hat at random. This will get rid of 3rd and 4th line pluggers and create a better product. Also, Toronto should be moved to Skokie, Illinois. I picked that city out of a hat, too.

    4. The rest of the 24 teams will be divided into a 24 - tier league. For example, Detroit will be in the NHL-1, while the worst i.e. Chicago will be in the NHL-24. Every team will win thier league's championship, thus guarenteeing playoff money so every team is able to "break even."

    5. There will no more referees. Players will abide by the honor system.

    6. Instead of a 4 feet by 6 feet net, the net should be a hovering sphere. The sphere is perfect, it looks cool.

    7. Finally, OT will be one on one, sudden death.
     
  2. sveiglar

    sveiglar Registered User

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    Put in a provision to allow teams to spend $40.25M once in a ten year period and you've got a deal.
     
  3. chiavsfan

    chiavsfan Registered User

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    And only upward indexing...if peanut and beer prices go up...so does the cap...but if those prices come down, the cap remains the same
     
  4. ti-vite

    ti-vite Registered User

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    Install black lights in all areans, remover all convenional lighting, to provide glow-pucks, glow-helmets, glow-shirts, glow-boards and nets, and glow-sticks. And paint the lines so the glow.

    Thats what the people want to see on TV!
     
  5. chiavsfan

    chiavsfan Registered User

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    Instead of cosmic bowling...cosmic hockey? You would need to send some smoke in at intervals too
     
  6. DeleteThisAccount

    DeleteThisAccount Registered User

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    Zapp- "The killbots? A trifle. It was simply a matter of outsmarting them.

    Fry- "Wow, I never would've thought of that!"

    Zapp- "You see, killbots have a preset kill limit. Knowing their weakness, I sent wave after wave of my own men at them until they reached their limit and shut down."

    Sorry. Random Futurama quotes DO just pop into my head at any given time.
     
  7. ti-vite

    ti-vite Registered User

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    Or, taint the beer so the players become mindless zombies and have them play games wearing black versus white body armour, with a dull organ playing in the background.

    The first intermission would be time dedicated to praying to Max van Sidow

    (Strange Brew)
     
  8. Haj

    Haj #CatsAreComing

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    If anyone cant tell, I'm pretty frustrated w/ the lockout :banghead:
     
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