Go ahead and roast me.

[63firebird]

I know I’ll be crucified by the 11-20-9 koolaid delusionals, but I couldn’t help but laugh when I read this. Stop hoping for a miracle! So true.
—-///

The Wild are a team stuck in mediocrity. Their stars are aging before our eyes. They have no size on defense and too many of their forwards are cowards.
Koivu needs to go. At least take the C off of him. Make him wear a “W” for wuss. Ridiculous. He’s a faceoff drawing defenseman. Meanwhile, Haula is scoring 30 goals and Tuch is flying all over the ice in Vegas.
We have zero leadership from proven winners, unless you count Cullen, who blows and is the oldest player in the league. He uses an automatic stair chair like the guy in UP.
Most of these guys wouldn’t crack Winnipeg’s or Toronto’s lineup. When was the last time someone ever said that? It’s embarrassing.
Parise works but he’s made of porcelain. Not worth the money, plus with all of his injuries he is depleting the team store of all of its Pamprin.
Suter is fine but hardly dominating defensively. Overpaid. Killing us. Needs to restructure his contract. Same with Brodin. Good but not a force.
Dumba is aptly named because sometimes he can be a dumb ass. He makes horrible mistakes. We haven’t seen any of his talents in the playoffs. He’s also undersized.
Prosser ? Didn’t we already try to dump him once? He would be mediocre in any men’s league.
Seeler? Nope
Soucy? Piece.
Spurgeon is talented, but he is too wee. He got crushed in Winnipeg. Dustin Byfelieyeyn (or whatever his name is) literally ate him once and pooped him out behind the net in the span of a second. It was disgusting.
Staal, to quote a friend, is “crickets in the playoffs and can’t wait to get back to the family sod farm in Thunder Bay.” He plays like I do. Suckholes and makes mild attempts to poke check. Swishing his stick back and forth like a windshield wiper set to intermittent.
Granlund? Good. He’s all alone. Also wee.
Winnick? Wouldn’t crack any other lineup.
Niedereiter? Notafighter. No heart.
Zucker? See Staal. Most teams have three guys as fast as he is. And they’re bigger.
Dubnyk? He’s our toughest defender. He also can blow. He’s no Rinne.
Foligno? FoligNO.
Ennis? BUH-lows.
Greenway? Move him to D now.
Fletcher could not have honestly looked at this lineup and thought there’s a chance to win the Cup. Our D has been destroyed by big forwards in the playoffs for four years, and his off-season moves were Foligno and Ennis, while we lost Haula and Tuch.
It’s time to clean house.

Click to read more...

 

[Bazeek]

I know I’ll be crucified by the 11-20-9 koolaid delusionals, but I couldn’t help but laugh when I read this. Stop hoping for a miracle! So true.
—-///

The Wild are a team stuck in mediocrity. Their stars are aging before our eyes. They have no size on defense and too many of their forwards are cowards.
Koivu needs to go. At least take the C off of him. Make him wear a “W” for wuss. Ridiculous. He’s a faceoff drawing defenseman. Meanwhile, Haula is scoring 30 goals and Tuch is flying all over the ice in Vegas.
We have zero leadership from proven winners, unless you count Cullen, who blows and is the oldest player in the league. He uses an automatic stair chair like the guy in UP.
Most of these guys wouldn’t crack Winnipeg’s or Toronto’s lineup. When was the last time someone ever said that? It’s embarrassing.
Parise works but he’s made of porcelain. Not worth the money, plus with all of his injuries he is depleting the team store of all of its Pamprin.
Suter is fine but hardly dominating defensively. Overpaid. Killing us. Needs to restructure his contract. Same with Brodin. Good but not a force.
Dumba is aptly named because sometimes he can be a dumb ass. He makes horrible mistakes. We haven’t seen any of his talents in the playoffs. He’s also undersized.
Prosser ? Didn’t we already try to dump him once? He would be mediocre in any men’s league.
Seeler? Nope
Soucy? Piece.
Spurgeon is talented, but he is too wee. He got crushed in Winnipeg. Dustin Byfelieyeyn (or whatever his name is) literally ate him once and pooped him out behind the net in the span of a second. It was disgusting.
Staal, to quote a friend, is “crickets in the playoffs and can’t wait to get back to the family sod farm in Thunder Bay.” He plays like I do. Suckholes and makes mild attempts to poke check. Swishing his stick back and forth like a windshield wiper set to intermittent.
Granlund? Good. He’s all alone. Also wee.
Winnick? Wouldn’t crack any other lineup.
Niedereiter? Notafighter. No heart.
Zucker? See Staal. Most teams have three guys as fast as he is. And they’re bigger.
Dubnyk? He’s our toughest defender. He also can blow. He’s no Rinne.
Foligno? FoligNO.
Ennis? BUH-lows.
Greenway? Move him to D now.
Fletcher could not have honestly looked at this lineup and thought there’s a chance to win the Cup. Our D has been destroyed by big forwards in the playoffs for four years, and his off-season moves were Foligno and Ennis, while we lost Haula and Tuch.
It’s time to clean house.

You're a little late to the party.

I can't believe the hot topic of the day is a City Pages screed that looks like it was pulled from the Strib comments section. It's not even August yet.

 

[63firebird]

Took me awhile.

 

[Uberdachen]

I feel like I am standing on pretty solid ground when I say it's a pretty telling lack of effort to not come up with more than BUH-lows for Tyler "Hockey player-shaped eye floater" Ennis.

 

[nickschultzfan]

Eh. We are top-10 center and a top-15 winger away from being a Cup winning team. That's not so far. Just 2 players!


Granlund - X - X
Parise - Staal - Nino
Zucker - Koivu - Coyle
Foligno - JEE - Winnik

Suter - Spurgeon
Brodin - Dumba
Seeler - Prosser

Dubnyk
Stalock

Greenway, Kunin, Kaprisov

 

[Saga of the Elk]

You wrote that, 63firebird? Good on you for owning it. Never hurts to get a rant out there.

In this day and age, there's no way Hockey Ops doesn't worry about losing market share. You can pick any team in the league and follow their every move - why not pick a winner?

I will say, every team has its weak spots, every GM makes mistakes. Unless you're a strict front-runner, hockey + emotional investment = disappointment.

 

[Dr Jan Itor]

Eh. We are top-10 center and a top-15 winger away from being a Cup winning team. That's not so far. Just 2 players!


Granlund - X - X
Parise - Staal - Nino
Zucker - Koivu - Coyle
Foligno - JEE - Winnik

Suter - Spurgeon
Brodin - Dumba
Seeler - Prosser

Dubnyk
Stalock

Greenway, Kunin, Kaprisov

So, basically just if we took Pastrnak in 2014 and made Boston a Godfather offer for one of their picks in 2015 and took Barzal.

Just that simple.

 

[Wild11MN]

Needs to restructure his contract? It's hard to take something like this seriously when they don't know that's not possible. Why complain about Parise and Suter? They're not going anywhere, so stop acting like that's something that can change.

 

[Dr Jan Itor]

Needs to restructure his contract? It's hard to take something like this seriously when they don't know that's not possible. Why complain about Parise and Suter? They're not going anywhere, so stop acting like that's something that can change.

I think it could change (it's unlikely, but possible), but that would involve diving into a full rebuild, which I don't believe either of them would want to be a part of at their ages. Whether or not they would be moveable is another question. Parise would be doubtful, but I think there would be a pretty long list for Suter's services.

 

[63firebird]

You wrote that, 63firebird? Good on you for owning it. Never hurts to get a rant out there.

In this day and age, there's no way Hockey Ops doesn't worry about losing market share. You can pick any team in the league and follow their every move - why not pick a winner?

I will say, every team has its weak spots, every GM makes mistakes. Unless you're a strict front-runner, hockey + emotional investment = disappointment.

I’m truly hopeful that the Wild can put a decent character team together.
That rant is definitely not mine. It did make me laugh however because there is a lot of truth in there.

 

[Digitalbooya]

I think it could change (it's unlikely, but possible), but that would involve diving into a full rebuild, which I don't believe either of them would want to be a part of at their ages. Whether or not they would be moveable is another question. Parise would be doubtful, but I think there would be a pretty long list for Suter's services.

I’m pretty sure we still get the cap recapture if they retire playing for another team. That would suck.

 

[Dr Jan Itor]

I’m pretty sure we still get the cap recapture if they retire playing for another team. That would suck.

True, but I'm not too worried about that in Suter's case.

 

[Wabit]

True, but I'm not too worried about that in Suter's case.

The last 3 years only pay him $4m total ($2m, $1m, and $1m). It's a lot of money, he'll be in his late 30's and already made $94m on his contract. There isn't a lot of incentive to play somewhere unless he's winning Cups at that point.

 

[Dr Jan Itor]

The last 3 years only pay him $4m total ($2m, $1m, and $1m). It's a lot of money, he'll be in his late 30's and already made $94m on his contract. There isn't a lot of incentive to play somewhere unless he's winning Cups at that point.

Well, half of $94m.

It wouldn't be risk-free, but I just have it at pretty low.

 

[DANOZ28]

well 63 firebird my beef with you is there were no 63 firebirds ever made! please explain to a car guy this riddle. koivu should step down from being the C , probably wont happen so new mgmt should give it to someone else and if hes unhappy trade him.

 

[Uberdachen]

If the C means so much then Zachiavelli would have found a way to have it by now.

 

[Loopy0ne]

I am truly sorry -

 

[Wabit]

If the C means so much then Zachiavelli would have found a way to have it by now.

Maybe there is a clause in his contracts requiring playing a full 82 game season + Playoffs before he's allowed to wear the "C".

 

[57special]

well 63 firebird my beef with you is there were no 63 firebirds ever made! please explain to a car guy this riddle.

Well, no Pontiac Firebirds. Gibson Firebirds, yes(as played by the late , great, Johnny Winter).

 

[63firebird]

well 63 firebird my beef with you is there were no 63 firebirds ever made! please explain to a car guy this riddle. koivu should step down from being the C , probably wont happen so new mgmt should give it to someone else and if hes unhappy trade him.

You are correct. But I’m not referring to a Pontiac, but another creation from Michigan. A 1963 Gibson Firebird. You may have heard it played by Eric Clapton on “ Sitting on top of the World” or Stephen Stills on Woodstock” from Deja Vu album.

 

[Uberdachen]

Also, what are 11-20-9 koolaid delusionals?

 

[Bazeek]

Also, what are 11-20-9 koolaid delusionals?

November 20th, 2009. The Mexican government officially declared it's economy out of recession after some encouraging GDP growth in the 3rd quarter. Much of the rebound was attributed to Kraft Foods' large investments in new production facilities for Kool-Aid powder south of the border. Kool-Aid consumption in Mexico saw a corresponding jump as people celebrated the change in fortune.

But many saw the announcement as the government wallpapering over deeper economic issues, and were critical of the significant tax breaks that had been used to lure Kraft in in the first place. Hence the coining of "11-20-09 Kool-Aid Drinkers" as a pejorative.

But I have no idea what that has to do with hockey.

 

[Wild11MN]

November 20th, 2009. The Mexican government officially declared it's economy out of recession after some encouraging GDP growth in the 3rd quarter. Much of the rebound was attributed to Kraft Foods' large investments in new production facilities for Kool-Aid powder south of the border. Kool-Aid consumption in Mexico saw a corresponding jump as people celebrated the change in fortune.

But many saw the announcement as the government wallpapering over deeper economic issues, and were critical of the significant tax breaks that had been used to lure Kraft in in the first place. Hence the coining of "11-20-09 Kool-Aid Drinkers" as a pejorative.

But I have no idea what that has to do with hockey.

I'm confused, this feels like an Uberdachen response to a Bazeek question, not the other way around.

 

[Bazeek]

I'm confused, this feels like an Uberdachen response to a Bazeek question, not the other way around.

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

 

[Uberdachen]

November 20th, 2009. The Mexican government officially declared it's economy out of recession after some encouraging GDP growth in the 3rd quarter. Much of the rebound was attributed to Kraft Foods' large investments in new production facilities for Kool-Aid powder south of the border. Kool-Aid consumption in Mexico saw a corresponding jump as people celebrated the change in fortune.

But many saw the announcement as the government wallpapering over deeper economic issues, and were critical of the significant tax breaks that had been used to lure Kraft in in the first place. Hence the coining of "11-20-09 Kool-Aid Drinkers" as a pejorative.

But I have no idea what that has to do with hockey.

My mind is blown-- I had no idea Kraft made Kool-Aid.

Now that the shock is wearing off... why isn't there a Mac & Cheese Kool-Aid? What a wasted childhood that was.