2004-05 Wolfsburg Grizzly Adams DEL 50 games 26 goals 22 assists 48 points Alexander Ovechkin, or Ivan Ciernik? I know, I know it's hard to determine just which superior talent these eye-popping statistics belong to. The answer, my dear friends, may come as quite a shock to some. Many will say, "But Hrkac Cirus, the DEL sucks donkey nuts compared to the RSL!" Not so fast, sir. In my humble and oh-so expert opinion, the talent level of the RSL comes nowhere near that of the DEL, one of the world's premier and most prestigious professional ice hockey leagues. The DEL was previously shunned by the hockey community, mainly because players were so poor they were forced to use their penises as hockey sticks. But with the insurgence of young up-and-comers (such as Ivan the Great) it has transformed itself into a hockey powerhouse. Many will argue that Ivan Ciernik is "not a young player," or "looks like Zoro," but that is far from the point. He is, simply put, quite possibly the greatest talent to ever come out of a woman's vagina.