HandsomeHollywood
Brooke Shields ain't got nothin'
- Mar 20, 2017
- 1,531
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theedge9:
-VS-
JackSlater:
Thunder From Down Under
Steel City Promotions
The Oval, Adelaide, Australia
Cruiserweight Championship
Finn Balor w/ Bad Luck Fale vs PAC
Finn Balor has been dominating the cruiserweight division for nearly 365 days. He has achieved this largely with the help from his old friend, Bad Luke Fale.
PAC has had enough, challenging Balor to a title match. PAC is the first man to show no fear in the face of Balor and his muscle. Can Balor finally be defeated in this hot opening match?
Tag Team Championship Tournament Final
MNM vs SCU w/ Lita
MNM has reunited in Steel City Promotions to corner the tag team market. They have made it to the finals (with lots of help from Melina) of the SCP Tag Titles Tournament. Their opponents are SCU Daniels and Kazarian but they have decided to even the score with their own trashy valet, Lita! Who is willing to sink lower to secure the tag titles? We will find out in this fast-paced, heated tournament final!
Women’s Tag Team Championship Tournament Final
Dakota Kai & Toni Storm vs The IIconics
Special guest referees The Bushwhackers
Dakota Kai and Toni Storm have grown increasingly frustrated by being misclassified as Australian wrestlers. They have launched an anti-tourism campaign against the land down under and have begun talking up the beauty of New Zealand.
The IICONICS have taken exception to their iconic homeland being trashed so openly, and they believe Kai and Storm should be honored to be labeled as Australians, as it is the closest they will ever get to greatness.
The Bushwhackers have come in as special guest referees as a twist from Kai and Storm, who were disappointed to find out the Bushwhackers seem to have forgotten where they are from alltogether!
Bare Knuckle Brawl, Intercontinental Championship
Matt Riddle (CHAMPION) vs William Regal
William Regal has been calling out what he refers to as “slobbish and casual” wrestlers for months. He believes wrestling should not only be tough, but classy. He has taken aim at Matt Riddle for the way Riddle dresses like a 12 year-old, and his casual demeanor.
Riddle has mostly blown off Regal’s insults, calling him “Steve”. Riddle had a sit-down tea with Regal, where he disapprovingly spit his tea in Regal’s face because of how bad the taste was, only to then pull out what he brought from home, a Monster Energy drink, much to Regal’s shock and horror.
Regal looks to teach Riddle what classy toughness is all about with a bareknuckle brawl at Thunder from Down Under!
Hell in a Cell match
Kevin Owens vs Mankind
Mankind has been riding high in SCP for months now on momentum from win after win. Soon, Mankind will be taking aim at the world title. Mankind has been telling fans they too can achieve their dreams, even if it seems impossible.
Kevin Owens has labeled Mankind dangerous for his misleading and fantasy world teachings. The real world is not one where dreams come true, is what Owens says.
Mankind told Owens that he will achieve his dream by winning the World Championship. But to achieve this dream, he must first go through a nightmare. The nightmare of Kevin Owens facing him in HELL IN A CELL!
World Heavyweight Championship match
Randy Savage vs Cesaro (CHAMPION) with Chris Hero
Cesaro has always said he is the most money making man. This has become doubly true since winning the World Heavyweight title. And with his old friend Chris Hero at his side, Cesaro has been able to defeat all challengers to his title.
Randy Savage has grown frustrated and tired of Cesaro and the main event scene of SCP. He wants to introduce a little “madness” to things. Savage has become truly unhinged and hard for Cesaro to predict.
After an episode of SCP television, Chris Hero was tired of seeing his friend be humiliated by Savage, prompting him to hit Savage’s valet with a devastating roaring elbow. Savage, now psychotically angry, has vowed to make it so Cesaro will not be able to leave Thunder Down Under under his own power. Will it be the diving elbow drop? Or will it be the Riccola bomb that reigns supreme at Thunder From Down Under, and how will Chris Hero impact the match? Find out at Thunder From Down Under!
Steel City Promotions
The Oval, Adelaide, Australia
Cruiserweight Championship
Finn Balor w/ Bad Luck Fale vs PAC
Finn Balor has been dominating the cruiserweight division for nearly 365 days. He has achieved this largely with the help from his old friend, Bad Luke Fale.
PAC has had enough, challenging Balor to a title match. PAC is the first man to show no fear in the face of Balor and his muscle. Can Balor finally be defeated in this hot opening match?
Tag Team Championship Tournament Final
MNM vs SCU w/ Lita
MNM has reunited in Steel City Promotions to corner the tag team market. They have made it to the finals (with lots of help from Melina) of the SCP Tag Titles Tournament. Their opponents are SCU Daniels and Kazarian but they have decided to even the score with their own trashy valet, Lita! Who is willing to sink lower to secure the tag titles? We will find out in this fast-paced, heated tournament final!
Women’s Tag Team Championship Tournament Final
Dakota Kai & Toni Storm vs The IIconics
Special guest referees The Bushwhackers
Dakota Kai and Toni Storm have grown increasingly frustrated by being misclassified as Australian wrestlers. They have launched an anti-tourism campaign against the land down under and have begun talking up the beauty of New Zealand.
The IICONICS have taken exception to their iconic homeland being trashed so openly, and they believe Kai and Storm should be honored to be labeled as Australians, as it is the closest they will ever get to greatness.
The Bushwhackers have come in as special guest referees as a twist from Kai and Storm, who were disappointed to find out the Bushwhackers seem to have forgotten where they are from alltogether!
Bare Knuckle Brawl, Intercontinental Championship
Matt Riddle (CHAMPION) vs William Regal
William Regal has been calling out what he refers to as “slobbish and casual” wrestlers for months. He believes wrestling should not only be tough, but classy. He has taken aim at Matt Riddle for the way Riddle dresses like a 12 year-old, and his casual demeanor.
Riddle has mostly blown off Regal’s insults, calling him “Steve”. Riddle had a sit-down tea with Regal, where he disapprovingly spit his tea in Regal’s face because of how bad the taste was, only to then pull out what he brought from home, a Monster Energy drink, much to Regal’s shock and horror.
Regal looks to teach Riddle what classy toughness is all about with a bareknuckle brawl at Thunder from Down Under!
Hell in a Cell match
Kevin Owens vs Mankind
Mankind has been riding high in SCP for months now on momentum from win after win. Soon, Mankind will be taking aim at the world title. Mankind has been telling fans they too can achieve their dreams, even if it seems impossible.
Kevin Owens has labeled Mankind dangerous for his misleading and fantasy world teachings. The real world is not one where dreams come true, is what Owens says.
Mankind told Owens that he will achieve his dream by winning the World Championship. But to achieve this dream, he must first go through a nightmare. The nightmare of Kevin Owens facing him in HELL IN A CELL!
World Heavyweight Championship match
Randy Savage vs Cesaro (CHAMPION) with Chris Hero
Cesaro has always said he is the most money making man. This has become doubly true since winning the World Heavyweight title. And with his old friend Chris Hero at his side, Cesaro has been able to defeat all challengers to his title.
Randy Savage has grown frustrated and tired of Cesaro and the main event scene of SCP. He wants to introduce a little “madness” to things. Savage has become truly unhinged and hard for Cesaro to predict.
After an episode of SCP television, Chris Hero was tired of seeing his friend be humiliated by Savage, prompting him to hit Savage’s valet with a devastating roaring elbow. Savage, now psychotically angry, has vowed to make it so Cesaro will not be able to leave Thunder Down Under under his own power. Will it be the diving elbow drop? Or will it be the Riccola bomb that reigns supreme at Thunder From Down Under, and how will Chris Hero impact the match? Find out at Thunder From Down Under!
-VS-
JackSlater:
SUMMERFEST XXXIII
JackSlater Promotions, in association with Rapture and Wrestling as well as Wonderful Outback Wrestling, is pleased to welcome you all to SUMMERFEST XXXIII
SUMMERFEST XXXIII Official Theme:
Rapture And Wrestling Theme:
Wonderful Outback Wrestling Theme:
JackSlater Promotions, in association with Rapture and Wrestling as well as Wonderful Outback Wrestling, is pleased to welcome you all to SUMMERFEST XXXIII
SUMMERFEST XXXIII Official Theme:
Rapture And Wrestling Theme:
Wonderful Outback Wrestling Theme:
JackSlater Promotions President: Bill Watts
JackSlater Promotions CFO: Killer Khan
Ring Announcer: Eden Stiles
Backstage Interviewer: Caylee Turner
Background:
JackSlater Promotions CFO: Killer Khan
Ring Announcer: Eden Stiles
Backstage Interviewer: Caylee Turner
Event Card
1. Jacob Fatu vs. Lex Luger (WOW Champion, With Jim Barnett, Nathan Jones, and Tom Magee)
2. Lumberjack Match: Christian vs. Sami Zayn
Lumberjacks: La Parka, Papa Shango, Kevil Sullivan, Cheatum, Ale Wright, Glacier, Max Moon, The Genius, Hade Vansen, The Grand Wizard and The Murdoch Boys, Tiger Ali Singh and Babu, Sammy Guevara, Ariel, Gangrel, Kurt Russell
3. Jushin Liger vs. Jashin Drago (Also known as Drago)
4. Intercontinental Championship Match: Magnum TA (Champion) vs. Adam Page
5. Pole Match for $20,000: Matt “Borne Again” Borne vs. Val Venis vs. Lance Storm (With Mr. Bob Backlund) vs. Dalton Castle (With The Boys) vs. Playboy Buddy Rose vs. Alex Shelley
6. Cage Match: Dusty Rhodes vs. Ilja Dragunov
*As per Rhodes’ demands, the cage is a product of the American steel industry. It is the big blue cage and has no door – the only way in or out is to climb.
7. Tommaso Ciampa vs. The Great Muta (With Gay Gary Hart)
8. Tag Team Championship Street Fight: The Mile High Club (Art Barr and Marty Jannetty, Champions) vs. Eddie Kingston and New Jack
9. Io Shirai vs. Awesome Kong (With The Prince of Wrestling)
10. World Heavyweight Championship Match: The Rock (Champion, with Eli Drake) vs. Samoa Joe
1. Jacob Fatu vs. Lex Luger (WOW Champion, With Jim Barnett, Nathan Jones, and Tom Magee)
2. Lumberjack Match: Christian vs. Sami Zayn
Lumberjacks: La Parka, Papa Shango, Kevil Sullivan, Cheatum, Ale Wright, Glacier, Max Moon, The Genius, Hade Vansen, The Grand Wizard and The Murdoch Boys, Tiger Ali Singh and Babu, Sammy Guevara, Ariel, Gangrel, Kurt Russell
3. Jushin Liger vs. Jashin Drago (Also known as Drago)
4. Intercontinental Championship Match: Magnum TA (Champion) vs. Adam Page
5. Pole Match for $20,000: Matt “Borne Again” Borne vs. Val Venis vs. Lance Storm (With Mr. Bob Backlund) vs. Dalton Castle (With The Boys) vs. Playboy Buddy Rose vs. Alex Shelley
6. Cage Match: Dusty Rhodes vs. Ilja Dragunov
*As per Rhodes’ demands, the cage is a product of the American steel industry. It is the big blue cage and has no door – the only way in or out is to climb.
7. Tommaso Ciampa vs. The Great Muta (With Gay Gary Hart)
8. Tag Team Championship Street Fight: The Mile High Club (Art Barr and Marty Jannetty, Champions) vs. Eddie Kingston and New Jack
9. Io Shirai vs. Awesome Kong (With The Prince of Wrestling)
10. World Heavyweight Championship Match: The Rock (Champion, with Eli Drake) vs. Samoa Joe
Background:
1. Jacob Fatu vs. Lex Luger (WOW Champion, With Jim Barnett, Nathan Jones, and Tom Magee)
JackSlater Promotions and Wonderful Outback Wrestling have been collaborating for months, much to the chagrin of fans and JSP president Bill Watts. Desperate economic times worldwide have necessitated collaboration, and Watts was not in a position to turn down the wealthy Jim Barnett and his mysterious “money man in Milwaukee”. Despite legendary promoter and WOW owner Barnett, often from his palanquin carried by a shirtless Tom Magee and a shirtless Nathan Jones, proclaiming that “nobody gets over until they go down… under, my boy” fans have failed to support Barnett’s champion, a shirtless Lex Luger. Barnett’s insistence on a “no shirt” policy, since the girls love the wrestlers shirtless, and no blows to the face, at the risk of smashing some of Luger’s sharp cheeks, have further angered JSP fans. Garbage is now commonly thrown at Barnett and his boys, horrifying the famed promoter. Things have gotten so desperate that Watts has turned to a most unlikely source of help – his most hated adversary, now claiming to be a new man, has spent a few years in prison and begun a prison ministry. One of his emissaries has been released from prison and was promptly signed by JSP – the brutal and athletic phenom Jacob Fatu. Will Barnett’s golden boy toy with Fatu, or will Fatu bring a level of violence that drives Barnett and his WOW specimens back to the outback?
Thirty Second Backstage Interviews with Christian and Sami Zayn
2. Lumberjack Match: Christian vs. Sami Zayn
Lumberjacks: La Parka, Papa Shango, Kevil Sullivan, Cheatum, Ale Wright, Glacier, Max Moon, The Genius, Hade Vansen, The Grand Wizard and The Murdoch Boys, Tiger Ali Singh and Babu, Sammy Guevara, Ariel, Gangrel, Kurt Russell
It all started with a bet of one dollar, Canadian. Christian and Sami Zayn had a bet to see who could get a selfie with JackSlater Promotions legend Kurt Russell first. While Zayn pestered Russell about “using his platform” to change the world, Christian fit right in with the Hollywood A-lister and friends, including The Rock, and took off for a wild night on the town that made all the headlines, including GTV. Zayn had a meltdown upon losing the dollar, which he claimed was "earmarked for charity" and then lost a very short impromptu match against Christian. He quickly became convinced that there was a conspiracy afoot. He began looking for the source of Christian’s famed “charisma”, for the intangible thing that gave him a leg up on Zayn. Zayn, with the help of GTV’s Sammy Guevara and Paparazzi Productions’ Alex Shelley, began a guerrilla filmmaking campaign to expose the "conspiracy" against him and search for the truth. The guerrilla filmmaking campaign, which Zayn has tried to charge the costs of to JSP, took him to a variety of places including:
The Shinobi Temple to speak with Glacier about what techniques Christian uses
The finest Bavarian Discotheques to speak with Alex Wright about how cool Christian is
The March of the Dead to confront La Parka regarding whether Christian is alive or dead
The White Castle of Fear with Cheatum
A Tarot Card reading with Papa Shango
“The Moon” with Max Moon in order to verify if Christian is of this Earth
Harvard to converse with The Genius and see if he could solve the mystery
The Dungeon of Doom with Kevin Sullivan
A dark alley to ask Hade Vansen about his prophesy and how it connects to Christian
Dick Murdoch’s trailer, to speak with The Grand Wizard regarding magic
The Las Vegas Strip to speak with The Gambler and Phantasio believing that Christian is clearly a degenerate gambler and possibly using magic
The Taj Mahal to converse with JSP investor Tiger Ali Singh
Zayn almost gave up when fortune finally smiled upon him - a bum asked Zayn and his crew for a dollar. The bum turned out to be none other than Gangrel, who revealed his dark secret – Christian is in fact a vampire.
Suddenly it all made sense for Zayn. Why DOES Christian wear so much orange tanner? How DO we know that the pictures of Christian with Hollywood Heavyweight Kurt Russell weren’t doctored? Why HAVEN’T we ever seen Christian wrestle in broad daylight? Zayn set about exposing the truth – that Christian is in fact a vampire. When Christian appeared disgusted to find his bag filled with garlic and Ariel, interviewed by Zaynand crew, revealed herself as willing to spend a night with Christian, it was all the proof Zayn required. When further proof proved difficult Zayn gave up and attacked Christian in the ring with his crew and beat a confession out of him, not that Sami condones torture. The plan failed however when Christian bit Zayn’s finger as he waved it accusatorily in Christian’s face, forcing Zayn to recoil in horror, backpedaling and staring at the tiny trickle of blood until he fell out of the ring. Christian smirked and proposed that they settle their feud in the only reasonable manner – a casket match. Zayn, terrified, started an online petition and gofundme to have a lumberjack match instead. President Watts, making it clear that he simply wanted Zayn to shut up, acquiesced and signed off with Khan's consent on the lumberjack match to end all talk of conspiracy.
3. Jushin Liger vs. Jashin Drago (Also known as Drago)
Rapture and Wrestling wanted one of its premier feuds on the biggest stage possible and JackSlater Promotions was happy to oblige. The evil dragon god Jashin Drago has returned and, as outlined in prophesies of old, only one with the mark of the Liger can stop him. RAW fans were shocked when Jushin Thunder Liger proved unable to defeat his mortal enemy Drago and his minions at the biggest RAW show to date, Sea of the Stars. Since then, Drago’s minions have disappeared one by one, each babbling about a white faced demon before leaving the promotion. RAW and JSP fans alike have been wondering whether Jushin Liger is the one destined to defeat Drago or whether the whispers are true and it will be the rarely seen Kishin Liger, first revealed by The Great Muta, who is needed to finish the job.
4. Intercontinental Championship Match: Magnum TA (Champion) vs. Adam Page
When Magnum TA looked at Hangman Adam Page, he saw a younger version of himself. It was an easy fit when the two blonde powerhouses from Virginia began teaming up, with Page telling anyone who would listen how grateful he was to be taken under Magnum’s wing. Success found the pair quickly, despite Page's inability to grow out his chest hair, as they became JackSlater Promotions Tag Team Champions early in their run. Fractures would appear when Page was named the number one contender for the Intercontinental Title – Magnum felt that he was the veteran who had paid his dues, having been a star in JSP for years and being the one who was tarred and feathered by the villainous Murdoch Boys while Page was simply handed a shot on a silver platter. The older man was not afraid to voice that opinion. Magnum began complaining subtly and then berating Page and pushing him around. Page eventually handed his title shot to his mentor, but the damage seemed to be done. Things came to a head when Magnum threw in the towel in a match between Page and Dusty Rhodes, enraging his younger charge. Page blocked a punishing slap from Magnum, leading to a locker room clearing brawl between the tag team champs.
Magnum would win the intercontinental title just days before walking out on Page as they defended their titles against the Murdoch Boys, with the pre-match stipulation of five lashes for each of the losers being amended so that Page alone took all ten lashes. Magnum would even turn to The Murdoch Boys and his old pal Dusty Rhodes for help in teaching Page to “wait his turn and earn it” and show respect for those who came before him. Page has kept his nose to the grindstone, fought through it all with the help of a drink or two, and has finally earned his shot at the intercontinental title, with Magnum claiming that that is all he wanted all along.
One Minute Backstage Interview with Dusty Rhodes
5. Pole Match for $20,000: Matt “Borne Again” Borne vs. Val Venis vs. Lance Storm (With Mr. Bob Backlund) vs. Dalton Castle (With The Boys) vs. Playboy Buddy Rose vs. Alex Shelley
Pure mayhem awaits in this six man match with the victor receiving $20,000, suspended from a pole inside a metal briefcase. Matt Borne, formerly Doink, has been “Borne Again” as he struggles to come to terms with exactly who he is. Frequently switching between the clown and the brute, no one seems to know just when he will snap. No one is quite sure what he wants the money for, or if he does at all. Val Venis is back in JSP now that Khan has announced that wrestlers are allowed to monetize their online content – the libertarian online content creator is back and ready to spread more than just his brand. Venis claims that he will have an augmented package for his highest tier subs should he win the money, plus seed money for a side medicinal venture. Lance Storm has entered the match at the urging of his manager, Mr. Backlund. Mr. Backlund has told Storm that he’s tired of his “flippy hippie” wrestling and that he needs to trim those sideburns. It’s time to make wrestling serious again by beating the clown, the girls, and the playboys and donating the money to “the war effort”, though no one is sure which one. Dalton Castle, Storm’s recent nemesis, plans to entertain the fans and make wrestling beautiful like never before. He swears he is in it for the pole and not the money. JackSlater Promotions legend Playboy Buddy Rose needs play money to keep up his trademark lifestyle while Alex Shelley hopes to replenish funds lost while part of Sami Zayn’s crew.
6. Cage Match: Dusty Rhodes vs. Ilja Dragunov
*As per Rhodes’ demands, the cage is a product of the American steel industry. It is the big blue cage and has no door – the only way in or out is to climb.
Dusty Rhodes has had enough. The unrest of these last few years has rankled the American Dream in ways that he never imagined, leaving him with no recourse but to literally wrap himself in the flag. A simple request, that the American anthem be played before each JackSlater Promotions show with fans in attendance all standing in unison, proved divisive on both ides of the border. A fur-coat wearing Rhodes emerged to chastise the fans as well as the other wrestlers for not effusively supporting his endeavour. Rhodes, the self-proclaimed Heartbeat of America, has harkened back for the return of American exceptionalism. He has told the fans that people denying the existence of the American Dream is shameful and that he alone proves that it does exist. His country is the land of opportunity and Rhodes, along with some of his old friends, has decided that everyone else has to pledge allegiance and love it or leave it.
Ilja Dragunov has had quite a different experience. Born in Russia, raised in Germany, he is a man with no country and a foreigner wherever he goes. Still he came to North America to pursue his dream. Dusty Rhodes took exception to American wrestlers losing their spots during these hard times, particularly when there were plenty of American “little guys” available. President Watts did not agree with Rhodes and his “hire American” policy and a bitter dispute has raged between The American Dream and a man pursuing his own version of the American dream. Dragunov has noted that people like him never end up in the position to dine with kings and queens and that being the son of a plumber sounds pretty decent compared to being the son of a father he’ll never know. The pork and beans that Rhodes dined on must have been more than enough as they allowed Rhodes to get fat while Dragunov worked jobs as a kid to get his next meal. Still Dragunov has stated that he has been a fan of Rhodes and admires what he has stood for, even if he sometimes falls short. Dragunov has taken the opportunity, which he claims is all that he ever wanted, that Rhodes has inadvertently presented him with by attacking him and draping the flag over him and has promised to do everything he can to chase his North American dream by beating Rhodes and ascending through the ranks of JSP.
One Minute Backstage Interview with Gary Hart
7. Tommaso Ciampa vs The Great Muta (With Gay Gary Hart)
Gay Gary Hart, former Chicago playboy, was visibly down on his luck when he appeared, haggard and worn down, in a backstage segment offering to sell an incredible secret in a brown envelope to the highest bidder. Tommaso Ciampa emerged as the only interested party, sending Hart on his way with a pittance as he read the contents of the envelope and smiled wickedly. Fans did not know what to expect as Ciampa began seemingly wasting his time by having matches against low card wrestlers in other promotions, particularly the Japanese w-1 promotion, and strangely interfering in the matches of Keiji Muto, a well-liked though relatively minor member of JSP’s midcard. Fans quickly soured on Muto as Ciampa continued helping him in matches, with Muto acting surprised each time. Ciampa then turned his attention to slapping around the destitute Gary Hart and lobbying president Watts to have knees to the head banned on workplace safety grounds, a clause left in the promotion from the days of the Wrestler’s Union faction. Fans were surprised when Muto, now somewhat ragged looking and on a losing streak due to his shining wizard finisher being bad as fans booed him every match, attacked Ciampa in a pathetic display. Ciampa delivered a savage beating to Muto, cackling as he noted that Muto “ain’t so great” while delivering repeated shots to his face before crushing his throat with the ring bell. The beating culminated in Ciampa lifting Muto’s head, now in a crimson mask of blood due to a gash on his heat, up to the camera and as he smirked while noting how familiar it looks before walking away.
Muto has not been seen since, however Gary Hart has emerged as a man reborn. An emotional Hart was embraced by his former charge, The Great Muta, and the two have begun ascending the ranks once again in methodical fashion. Muta has been somewhat slower than usual and fans are mystified by his inability to produce his famous mist whenever he touches his fingers to his throat, but the enigmatic wrestling legend has still gone undefeated since reuniting with Hart. With the fans and Gary Hart by his side and a newfound power in every strike, The Great Muta has challenged a bemused Tommaso Ciampa to a match that Hart has called a rebirth.
One Minute Backstage Interview with New Jack and Eddie Kingston
8. Tag Team Championship Street Fight: The Mile High Club (Art Barr and Marty Jannetty, Champions) vs. Eddie Kingston and New Jack
The Mile High Club, the tag team composed of Art Barr and Marty Jannetty, has had many highs and low lows in JackSlater Promotions. Often regarded as second bananas to their former tag partners, Barr and Jannetty have established themselves as elite in-ring talents whose fast paced, high flying matches have entertained fans thoroughly and brought plenty of wins. Still they have drawn the ire of President Watts, who has fired and hired the pair numerous times for taking their name far too literally, scandalous and shameless pursuits of females, and general unprofessional behaviour. The smile on Jannetty’s face during Watts’ final attempt to scare some professionalism into the pair resulted in him announcing that New Jack and Eddie Kingston, wrestling’s Ebony and Ivory and a pair known for their ultra-violence, would be challenging for the JSP tag titles in a street fight.
Fresh off emerging victorious from a bitter feud with The Murdoch Boys, New Jack and Kingston have turned their attention toward Barr and Jannetty. Kingston has vowed to teach them to leave the girls alone while New Jack said that he’s interested in their belts, not because they are championships but because he loves whipping white people. Fans cheered as Watts declared the title match a street fight and the smiles of Jannetty and Barr quickly disappeared
One Minute Backstage Interview with Samoa Joe
9. Io Shirai vs. Awesome Kong (With The Prince of Wrestling)
Io Shirai has taken JackSlater Promotions by storm, bringing a new element to the promotion that many have deemed a breath of fresh air. Unfortunately, The Genius of the Sky also caught the eye of The Prince of Wrestling. After Shirai smiled and nodded politely but ultimately did not follow through on the Prince’s invitation to “ride splash mountain” a feud was born. Awesome Kong quickly emerged to defend the man she calls her “bottom bitch” after he long ago begged her to defend him from all of the female wrestlers he pissed off with his derogatory promos. Noting that she doesn’t want anybody distracting the Prince from continuing doing what he does well for her, Kong has vowed to break Shirai, the woman who The Prince now refers to as “that little *** **** with the ***** *** *****”. For her part, Shirai has remained upbeat and has told interviewers that she is excited for the match.
One Minute Backstage Interview with The Rock
10. World Heavyweight Championship Match: The Rock (Champion, with Eli Drake) vs. Samoa Joe
The most electrifying man in JackSlater Promotions has a bone to pick with the people now that he’s back from his hiatus. The biggest babyface in the company has come back to mixed reactions he is not accustomed to, despite the former lone wolf having a new hype man. The Rock is mystified and he has let the people know – his sideburns are lower, his eyebrows are higher, his shirts are silkier, his catchphrases are louder, and yet still the people are unimpressed. These reactions are contrasted by the growing support for relatively unheralded Samoa Joe. Having only some of The Rock’s charisma, none of his physique or superstar lineage, Joe has been winning fans over all the same. Even President Bill Watts, enamored with The Rock’s football pedigree, has conceded that no one in the promotion has kicked ass the way that Samoa Joe has. Even The Rock’s best barbs, including that it’s survival of the fittest not survival of the fattest and that Joe is the Huntington Beached Whale, have not landed with the fans and taken the shine off Joe.
As he’s ascended, Joe has in turn begun taking aim at the Rock. Unlike The Rock, Samoa Joe never wanted to be a football player or take hiatuses to appear as a bit player in B-list sci fi – Joe wanted to be a wrestler. Joe assured Rock to his face that he doesn’t need knock off Versace shirts or a sycophantic low-life like Eli Drake or to boast about the tribal tattoo he’s going to get or even to apply submissions and scream to hide how poorly applied they are. Joe was a real Samoan ass kicker, which is more than he could say for The Rock, a point he emphasized by headbutting The Rock and shockingly knocking him to one knee. As Joe confidently strode out of the arena through the cheering masses, The Rock pushed towel carrying Drake away and stared with a long unseen intensity. A match has been set for the JackSlater Promotions Heavyweight Championship between Samoa Joe, a driven ass kicker who would love nothing more than to carry promotion’s belt, and heavyweight champion The Rock, a man who seems unsure where he wants to be but who may rediscover the fire that carried him to the top.
JackSlater Promotions and Wonderful Outback Wrestling have been collaborating for months, much to the chagrin of fans and JSP president Bill Watts. Desperate economic times worldwide have necessitated collaboration, and Watts was not in a position to turn down the wealthy Jim Barnett and his mysterious “money man in Milwaukee”. Despite legendary promoter and WOW owner Barnett, often from his palanquin carried by a shirtless Tom Magee and a shirtless Nathan Jones, proclaiming that “nobody gets over until they go down… under, my boy” fans have failed to support Barnett’s champion, a shirtless Lex Luger. Barnett’s insistence on a “no shirt” policy, since the girls love the wrestlers shirtless, and no blows to the face, at the risk of smashing some of Luger’s sharp cheeks, have further angered JSP fans. Garbage is now commonly thrown at Barnett and his boys, horrifying the famed promoter. Things have gotten so desperate that Watts has turned to a most unlikely source of help – his most hated adversary, now claiming to be a new man, has spent a few years in prison and begun a prison ministry. One of his emissaries has been released from prison and was promptly signed by JSP – the brutal and athletic phenom Jacob Fatu. Will Barnett’s golden boy toy with Fatu, or will Fatu bring a level of violence that drives Barnett and his WOW specimens back to the outback?
Thirty Second Backstage Interviews with Christian and Sami Zayn
2. Lumberjack Match: Christian vs. Sami Zayn
Lumberjacks: La Parka, Papa Shango, Kevil Sullivan, Cheatum, Ale Wright, Glacier, Max Moon, The Genius, Hade Vansen, The Grand Wizard and The Murdoch Boys, Tiger Ali Singh and Babu, Sammy Guevara, Ariel, Gangrel, Kurt Russell
It all started with a bet of one dollar, Canadian. Christian and Sami Zayn had a bet to see who could get a selfie with JackSlater Promotions legend Kurt Russell first. While Zayn pestered Russell about “using his platform” to change the world, Christian fit right in with the Hollywood A-lister and friends, including The Rock, and took off for a wild night on the town that made all the headlines, including GTV. Zayn had a meltdown upon losing the dollar, which he claimed was "earmarked for charity" and then lost a very short impromptu match against Christian. He quickly became convinced that there was a conspiracy afoot. He began looking for the source of Christian’s famed “charisma”, for the intangible thing that gave him a leg up on Zayn. Zayn, with the help of GTV’s Sammy Guevara and Paparazzi Productions’ Alex Shelley, began a guerrilla filmmaking campaign to expose the "conspiracy" against him and search for the truth. The guerrilla filmmaking campaign, which Zayn has tried to charge the costs of to JSP, took him to a variety of places including:
The Shinobi Temple to speak with Glacier about what techniques Christian uses
The finest Bavarian Discotheques to speak with Alex Wright about how cool Christian is
The March of the Dead to confront La Parka regarding whether Christian is alive or dead
The White Castle of Fear with Cheatum
A Tarot Card reading with Papa Shango
“The Moon” with Max Moon in order to verify if Christian is of this Earth
Harvard to converse with The Genius and see if he could solve the mystery
The Dungeon of Doom with Kevin Sullivan
A dark alley to ask Hade Vansen about his prophesy and how it connects to Christian
Dick Murdoch’s trailer, to speak with The Grand Wizard regarding magic
The Las Vegas Strip to speak with The Gambler and Phantasio believing that Christian is clearly a degenerate gambler and possibly using magic
The Taj Mahal to converse with JSP investor Tiger Ali Singh
Zayn almost gave up when fortune finally smiled upon him - a bum asked Zayn and his crew for a dollar. The bum turned out to be none other than Gangrel, who revealed his dark secret – Christian is in fact a vampire.
Suddenly it all made sense for Zayn. Why DOES Christian wear so much orange tanner? How DO we know that the pictures of Christian with Hollywood Heavyweight Kurt Russell weren’t doctored? Why HAVEN’T we ever seen Christian wrestle in broad daylight? Zayn set about exposing the truth – that Christian is in fact a vampire. When Christian appeared disgusted to find his bag filled with garlic and Ariel, interviewed by Zaynand crew, revealed herself as willing to spend a night with Christian, it was all the proof Zayn required. When further proof proved difficult Zayn gave up and attacked Christian in the ring with his crew and beat a confession out of him, not that Sami condones torture. The plan failed however when Christian bit Zayn’s finger as he waved it accusatorily in Christian’s face, forcing Zayn to recoil in horror, backpedaling and staring at the tiny trickle of blood until he fell out of the ring. Christian smirked and proposed that they settle their feud in the only reasonable manner – a casket match. Zayn, terrified, started an online petition and gofundme to have a lumberjack match instead. President Watts, making it clear that he simply wanted Zayn to shut up, acquiesced and signed off with Khan's consent on the lumberjack match to end all talk of conspiracy.
3. Jushin Liger vs. Jashin Drago (Also known as Drago)
Rapture and Wrestling wanted one of its premier feuds on the biggest stage possible and JackSlater Promotions was happy to oblige. The evil dragon god Jashin Drago has returned and, as outlined in prophesies of old, only one with the mark of the Liger can stop him. RAW fans were shocked when Jushin Thunder Liger proved unable to defeat his mortal enemy Drago and his minions at the biggest RAW show to date, Sea of the Stars. Since then, Drago’s minions have disappeared one by one, each babbling about a white faced demon before leaving the promotion. RAW and JSP fans alike have been wondering whether Jushin Liger is the one destined to defeat Drago or whether the whispers are true and it will be the rarely seen Kishin Liger, first revealed by The Great Muta, who is needed to finish the job.
4. Intercontinental Championship Match: Magnum TA (Champion) vs. Adam Page
When Magnum TA looked at Hangman Adam Page, he saw a younger version of himself. It was an easy fit when the two blonde powerhouses from Virginia began teaming up, with Page telling anyone who would listen how grateful he was to be taken under Magnum’s wing. Success found the pair quickly, despite Page's inability to grow out his chest hair, as they became JackSlater Promotions Tag Team Champions early in their run. Fractures would appear when Page was named the number one contender for the Intercontinental Title – Magnum felt that he was the veteran who had paid his dues, having been a star in JSP for years and being the one who was tarred and feathered by the villainous Murdoch Boys while Page was simply handed a shot on a silver platter. The older man was not afraid to voice that opinion. Magnum began complaining subtly and then berating Page and pushing him around. Page eventually handed his title shot to his mentor, but the damage seemed to be done. Things came to a head when Magnum threw in the towel in a match between Page and Dusty Rhodes, enraging his younger charge. Page blocked a punishing slap from Magnum, leading to a locker room clearing brawl between the tag team champs.
Magnum would win the intercontinental title just days before walking out on Page as they defended their titles against the Murdoch Boys, with the pre-match stipulation of five lashes for each of the losers being amended so that Page alone took all ten lashes. Magnum would even turn to The Murdoch Boys and his old pal Dusty Rhodes for help in teaching Page to “wait his turn and earn it” and show respect for those who came before him. Page has kept his nose to the grindstone, fought through it all with the help of a drink or two, and has finally earned his shot at the intercontinental title, with Magnum claiming that that is all he wanted all along.
One Minute Backstage Interview with Dusty Rhodes
5. Pole Match for $20,000: Matt “Borne Again” Borne vs. Val Venis vs. Lance Storm (With Mr. Bob Backlund) vs. Dalton Castle (With The Boys) vs. Playboy Buddy Rose vs. Alex Shelley
Pure mayhem awaits in this six man match with the victor receiving $20,000, suspended from a pole inside a metal briefcase. Matt Borne, formerly Doink, has been “Borne Again” as he struggles to come to terms with exactly who he is. Frequently switching between the clown and the brute, no one seems to know just when he will snap. No one is quite sure what he wants the money for, or if he does at all. Val Venis is back in JSP now that Khan has announced that wrestlers are allowed to monetize their online content – the libertarian online content creator is back and ready to spread more than just his brand. Venis claims that he will have an augmented package for his highest tier subs should he win the money, plus seed money for a side medicinal venture. Lance Storm has entered the match at the urging of his manager, Mr. Backlund. Mr. Backlund has told Storm that he’s tired of his “flippy hippie” wrestling and that he needs to trim those sideburns. It’s time to make wrestling serious again by beating the clown, the girls, and the playboys and donating the money to “the war effort”, though no one is sure which one. Dalton Castle, Storm’s recent nemesis, plans to entertain the fans and make wrestling beautiful like never before. He swears he is in it for the pole and not the money. JackSlater Promotions legend Playboy Buddy Rose needs play money to keep up his trademark lifestyle while Alex Shelley hopes to replenish funds lost while part of Sami Zayn’s crew.
6. Cage Match: Dusty Rhodes vs. Ilja Dragunov
*As per Rhodes’ demands, the cage is a product of the American steel industry. It is the big blue cage and has no door – the only way in or out is to climb.
Dusty Rhodes has had enough. The unrest of these last few years has rankled the American Dream in ways that he never imagined, leaving him with no recourse but to literally wrap himself in the flag. A simple request, that the American anthem be played before each JackSlater Promotions show with fans in attendance all standing in unison, proved divisive on both ides of the border. A fur-coat wearing Rhodes emerged to chastise the fans as well as the other wrestlers for not effusively supporting his endeavour. Rhodes, the self-proclaimed Heartbeat of America, has harkened back for the return of American exceptionalism. He has told the fans that people denying the existence of the American Dream is shameful and that he alone proves that it does exist. His country is the land of opportunity and Rhodes, along with some of his old friends, has decided that everyone else has to pledge allegiance and love it or leave it.
Ilja Dragunov has had quite a different experience. Born in Russia, raised in Germany, he is a man with no country and a foreigner wherever he goes. Still he came to North America to pursue his dream. Dusty Rhodes took exception to American wrestlers losing their spots during these hard times, particularly when there were plenty of American “little guys” available. President Watts did not agree with Rhodes and his “hire American” policy and a bitter dispute has raged between The American Dream and a man pursuing his own version of the American dream. Dragunov has noted that people like him never end up in the position to dine with kings and queens and that being the son of a plumber sounds pretty decent compared to being the son of a father he’ll never know. The pork and beans that Rhodes dined on must have been more than enough as they allowed Rhodes to get fat while Dragunov worked jobs as a kid to get his next meal. Still Dragunov has stated that he has been a fan of Rhodes and admires what he has stood for, even if he sometimes falls short. Dragunov has taken the opportunity, which he claims is all that he ever wanted, that Rhodes has inadvertently presented him with by attacking him and draping the flag over him and has promised to do everything he can to chase his North American dream by beating Rhodes and ascending through the ranks of JSP.
One Minute Backstage Interview with Gary Hart
7. Tommaso Ciampa vs The Great Muta (With Gay Gary Hart)
Gay Gary Hart, former Chicago playboy, was visibly down on his luck when he appeared, haggard and worn down, in a backstage segment offering to sell an incredible secret in a brown envelope to the highest bidder. Tommaso Ciampa emerged as the only interested party, sending Hart on his way with a pittance as he read the contents of the envelope and smiled wickedly. Fans did not know what to expect as Ciampa began seemingly wasting his time by having matches against low card wrestlers in other promotions, particularly the Japanese w-1 promotion, and strangely interfering in the matches of Keiji Muto, a well-liked though relatively minor member of JSP’s midcard. Fans quickly soured on Muto as Ciampa continued helping him in matches, with Muto acting surprised each time. Ciampa then turned his attention to slapping around the destitute Gary Hart and lobbying president Watts to have knees to the head banned on workplace safety grounds, a clause left in the promotion from the days of the Wrestler’s Union faction. Fans were surprised when Muto, now somewhat ragged looking and on a losing streak due to his shining wizard finisher being bad as fans booed him every match, attacked Ciampa in a pathetic display. Ciampa delivered a savage beating to Muto, cackling as he noted that Muto “ain’t so great” while delivering repeated shots to his face before crushing his throat with the ring bell. The beating culminated in Ciampa lifting Muto’s head, now in a crimson mask of blood due to a gash on his heat, up to the camera and as he smirked while noting how familiar it looks before walking away.
Muto has not been seen since, however Gary Hart has emerged as a man reborn. An emotional Hart was embraced by his former charge, The Great Muta, and the two have begun ascending the ranks once again in methodical fashion. Muta has been somewhat slower than usual and fans are mystified by his inability to produce his famous mist whenever he touches his fingers to his throat, but the enigmatic wrestling legend has still gone undefeated since reuniting with Hart. With the fans and Gary Hart by his side and a newfound power in every strike, The Great Muta has challenged a bemused Tommaso Ciampa to a match that Hart has called a rebirth.
One Minute Backstage Interview with New Jack and Eddie Kingston
8. Tag Team Championship Street Fight: The Mile High Club (Art Barr and Marty Jannetty, Champions) vs. Eddie Kingston and New Jack
The Mile High Club, the tag team composed of Art Barr and Marty Jannetty, has had many highs and low lows in JackSlater Promotions. Often regarded as second bananas to their former tag partners, Barr and Jannetty have established themselves as elite in-ring talents whose fast paced, high flying matches have entertained fans thoroughly and brought plenty of wins. Still they have drawn the ire of President Watts, who has fired and hired the pair numerous times for taking their name far too literally, scandalous and shameless pursuits of females, and general unprofessional behaviour. The smile on Jannetty’s face during Watts’ final attempt to scare some professionalism into the pair resulted in him announcing that New Jack and Eddie Kingston, wrestling’s Ebony and Ivory and a pair known for their ultra-violence, would be challenging for the JSP tag titles in a street fight.
Fresh off emerging victorious from a bitter feud with The Murdoch Boys, New Jack and Kingston have turned their attention toward Barr and Jannetty. Kingston has vowed to teach them to leave the girls alone while New Jack said that he’s interested in their belts, not because they are championships but because he loves whipping white people. Fans cheered as Watts declared the title match a street fight and the smiles of Jannetty and Barr quickly disappeared
One Minute Backstage Interview with Samoa Joe
9. Io Shirai vs. Awesome Kong (With The Prince of Wrestling)
Io Shirai has taken JackSlater Promotions by storm, bringing a new element to the promotion that many have deemed a breath of fresh air. Unfortunately, The Genius of the Sky also caught the eye of The Prince of Wrestling. After Shirai smiled and nodded politely but ultimately did not follow through on the Prince’s invitation to “ride splash mountain” a feud was born. Awesome Kong quickly emerged to defend the man she calls her “bottom bitch” after he long ago begged her to defend him from all of the female wrestlers he pissed off with his derogatory promos. Noting that she doesn’t want anybody distracting the Prince from continuing doing what he does well for her, Kong has vowed to break Shirai, the woman who The Prince now refers to as “that little *** **** with the ***** *** *****”. For her part, Shirai has remained upbeat and has told interviewers that she is excited for the match.
One Minute Backstage Interview with The Rock
10. World Heavyweight Championship Match: The Rock (Champion, with Eli Drake) vs. Samoa Joe
The most electrifying man in JackSlater Promotions has a bone to pick with the people now that he’s back from his hiatus. The biggest babyface in the company has come back to mixed reactions he is not accustomed to, despite the former lone wolf having a new hype man. The Rock is mystified and he has let the people know – his sideburns are lower, his eyebrows are higher, his shirts are silkier, his catchphrases are louder, and yet still the people are unimpressed. These reactions are contrasted by the growing support for relatively unheralded Samoa Joe. Having only some of The Rock’s charisma, none of his physique or superstar lineage, Joe has been winning fans over all the same. Even President Bill Watts, enamored with The Rock’s football pedigree, has conceded that no one in the promotion has kicked ass the way that Samoa Joe has. Even The Rock’s best barbs, including that it’s survival of the fittest not survival of the fattest and that Joe is the Huntington Beached Whale, have not landed with the fans and taken the shine off Joe.
As he’s ascended, Joe has in turn begun taking aim at the Rock. Unlike The Rock, Samoa Joe never wanted to be a football player or take hiatuses to appear as a bit player in B-list sci fi – Joe wanted to be a wrestler. Joe assured Rock to his face that he doesn’t need knock off Versace shirts or a sycophantic low-life like Eli Drake or to boast about the tribal tattoo he’s going to get or even to apply submissions and scream to hide how poorly applied they are. Joe was a real Samoan ass kicker, which is more than he could say for The Rock, a point he emphasized by headbutting The Rock and shockingly knocking him to one knee. As Joe confidently strode out of the arena through the cheering masses, The Rock pushed towel carrying Drake away and stared with a long unseen intensity. A match has been set for the JackSlater Promotions Heavyweight Championship between Samoa Joe, a driven ass kicker who would love nothing more than to carry promotion’s belt, and heavyweight champion The Rock, a man who seems unsure where he wants to be but who may rediscover the fire that carried him to the top.
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